Jenton Ulysses

Jaz

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JENTON ULYSSES

[fancybox4="http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02384/aff-portrait_2384604c.jpg"]

FULL NAME: Jenton Ulysses

AGE: 37

SPECIES: Human


HEIGHT: 6'5

WEIGHT: 220 lbs


EYE COLOR: Brown

HAIR COLOR: Brown

SKIN COLOR: Lightly tanned

MARKINGS: Brand on his forearm


FACTION: Jedi

RANK: KNIGHT


[/fancybox4]


SKILLS

[fancybox2] Jenton is a prolific Lightsaber combatant, preferring to fight more by outlasting his opponet than outsmarting them. He is physically very strong, and knows how to use telekinesis to his advantage. He is not very fast on his feet, or agile, for that matter, but he has quick reflexes and superb endurance.


[/fancybox2]

PERSONA

[fancybox4="http://i.imgur.com/Ih6352n.jpg?1"] Jenton is a very fatherly sort of man. He has a gentle demeanor and is strictly opposed to unnecessary fighting. Everyone who has ever met him knows that he will protect those he cares about relentlessly. He doesn't give up on anyone. Unfortunately, that also means he sets himself up for heartbreak. Jenton is known for his patience, but he will never stand for any form of abuse or harassment. If he has to, he will fight, but he doesn't enjoy it. When it comes right down to it, he's unpredictable. One day he can be the benevolent father figure who hands out brownies, and the next he's totally unforgiving. Though something has to happen to trigger that sort of mood. If he is lied to or something is hidden from him, he loses his very long patience. Most of the time, he is a loving, harmless man.

[/fancybox4]


BACKSTORY

[fancybox4="http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02836/Ben-Affleck-argo_2836623b.jpg"] Jenton was born on Coruscant. He was the oldest of three kids. His brothers, Mikell and Erahn were born five years after him. He found out he was special at a young age when he would refuse to pick up his clothes, and his mother would say "I'm not leaving until your clothes are in the laundry basket." Once she said that, all Jenton had to do was wave his hand and the clothes would fly across the room into the basket. He was never sent to school. His parents simply didn't see a point in it. He moved out at the age of fifteen in search of a mentor. He found one: a strict, but congenial Nautolan named Zawann and trained for an entire decade.


When Jenton turned twenty-five, Zawann took him to the Jedi Temple on Lothal, where they met with the council. Zawann requested that the young man be promoted to a knight. The council asked him to demonstrate what he had learned, so he gave them a display of sword combat and telekinesis. He recited the Jedi Code, and the council, satisfied, agreed to let him move up.


Soon after, however, his master fell dangerously ill. He survived but was left permanently disabled. Jenton took him to a woman who agreed to care for him before going his separate way.


Several years passed, and Jenton was almost forty. He sensed a presence on his ship. Wondering what in the galaxy it could be, he went down to the hull. There was a tiny girl of about twelve hidden behind some boxes. Before he coudo even wrap his head around this, he went flying across the room. Once he recovered from this, He asked her a few questions, where was her family, where did she come from, things like that. After listening to her answers, he told her to stay with him. After a night of thinking, he decided to mentor her.


A few months passed, and Jenton lost Eris somewhere. He went to Naboo, thinking she’d gone there. He met a man, who agreed to help him find her. After a few days, he was reunited with her on Nar Shadaa.


Not long after that, Jenton and Eris encountered Amerath Candoon while having dinner at Coruscant. The thug didn’t pay for his food, which wouldn’t’ve been so bad, but then he threw a grenade into a crowd of innocents. A speeder chase commenced, and the thug was arrested. Jenton took Eris to the hospital for her injuries, then helped get the thug to prison. This proved unsuccesful when Amerath was rescued. Jenton decided not to pursue, knowing he had to go defend Onderon.

On Onderon, they defended the planet from the Sith, but when Eris went into the line of fire, one of them aimed a gun at her. Jenton tried to push the blaster hand away, but only ended up pushing it down, resulting in the bolt hitting her neck instead of her face. Jenton got her to safety and called for a medic, but Eris died before help could arrive. This devastated Jenton, as Eris had been like a daughter to him. Now, he is more motivated than ever to destroy the Sith.



[/fancybox4]

AFFILIATIONS

[fancybox2] [/fancybox2][fancybox2] Eris Vesta: “She was a really good kid. I’m proud of her, honestly,"


Prudii Kyramud: “He sort of helped me when Eris ran off, so I’m grateful for that.”


Amerath Candoon: “He’s got a body count, so no, I’m not a huge fan.”


Mark Darsten: “Very honorable young man, I like him.”


[/fancybox2]

 
Last edited:

Elijah Brockway

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I'm assuming that the girl he runs into is Eris, yah?

Okay, so, a couple things (and the thing with Eris is related to that).

First off, there's no way he'd be an official Jedi if he was just randomly changed by one roaming Master, and he definitely wouldn't be a Knight, because you have to be approved by the Council to be a Knight. The Jedi aren't as centralized now as they were before, but whether or not somebody is a Jedi Knight is still up to the main central governing unit of the Order. So that part of the bio will need worked on.

While I'm willing to forgive the lack of skill description or anything like that with Eris - considering she's twelve - since Jenton is thiry-seven, you're going to have to include descriptions of what he's good at with the Force, his skills in general, his combat ability, his strengths and weaknesses, stuff like that. I'd really like to see descriptions for that on Eris, as well, although, like I said - she's twelve. It's forgiveable there.

The other thing I'm going to get to is that you should really consider having your characters be separate. Eris being trained by some other PC Jedi, and Jenton doing his own thing, stuff like that. Otherwise - if your two characters are mostly just going to stick to each other the whole time - that kinda defeats the purpose of getting involved in all this RPing with other people. It's the same thing that people have mentioned when one person has two of their own characters in a romance with each other, or something like that - "If you're just going to have your own characters have this special relationship and what-not, why don't you just go write fanfiction instead of RPing? What's the point?"

So, while I'm comfortable with approving Eris, I'm really not comfortable with approving Jenton right now.
 

Jaz

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1. Edits made to the bio, and skills added.
2. Just for the sake of understanding, those were the only two mandatory changes, the others were just reccomendations? I just want to make sure I'm doing this right this time.
3. I'll elaborate on Eris's skills on her bio

@Elijah Brockway
 

Elijah Brockway

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Technically, yes, those were the only mandatory changes; I still recommend keeping your characters separate, but that's always up to you.

At the same time, when I say I want you to elaborate on skills, that doesn't mean give me a small little bar graph. This is the same comment I make on basically every profile - a small little bar graph, 1-10 scale, what have you, doesn't really tell me anything. This isn't a tabletop RPG with a D20 system. This is a text-based story role playing game. Please, describe how good he is at his skills and what not, describe his attributes, stuff like that.
 

Jaz

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Technically, yes, those were the only mandatory changes; I still recommend keeping your characters separate, but that's always up to you.

At the same time, when I say I want you to elaborate on skills, that doesn't mean give me a small little bar graph. This is the same comment I make on basically every profile - a small little bar graph, 1-10 scale, what have you, doesn't really tell me anything. This isn't a tabletop RPG with a D20 system. This is a text-based story role playing game. Please, describe how good he is at his skills and what not, describe his attributes, stuff like that.

I changed the skill set to a paragraph. I hope this is okay
 

Darasuum

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feel free to have him out a bounty on Shaw's head if you want. the more people gunning for him the more interesting things will be.
 
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