Kad Orar

Rizzo

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NAME: Kad Orar
FACTION: Clan Orar
RANK:
SPECIES: Human
AGE: 37
GENDER: Male
HEIGHT: 5' 11"
WEIGHT: 92kg 205lbs
EYES: green
HAIR: short stylized, brown
SKIN: Tan
CREDITS: He is funded by his clan
DISTINGUISHING MARKS: Does your character have any distinguishing marks such as scars, birth marks, etc.?
FORCE SENSITIVE:
No


STRENGTH: although he is stronger than he looks, Kad has never been able to bench press more than 200lbs
DEXTERITY: Kad is light and possesses long legs. He can run very fast but is of only average in terms of agility.
CONSTITUTION: He is used to pain and is surprisingly resilient to blaster shots, occasionally he will not even know he was hit. This is undoubtedly due to being beaten in training with the other Mandalorian children. He rarely gets sick but when he does it's usually bad.
INTELLIGENCE: Kad is his families genius. His skills range from slicing to nuclear physics. Often times he can overcome challenges by thinking up a plan.
WISDOM: Kad can see the future from the present. He plans things out three steps ahead of even politicians who he hates.
CHARISMA: Kad is a straightforward, no nonsense talker. He likes facts and facts alone and often neglects to see a person's feelings on a matter. He doesn't lie and can explain complex matters in a way that makes them seem elementary.


FORCE POWERS:
N/A


SKILLS:
Slicing, Chemistry, Nuclear Science, mechanics, Weapon and Vehicular Design, Structural Engineering, Advanced Programming


LIGHTSABER/SWORD FORMS:
Basic Fencing


STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES:
Kad is very intelligent but is a dry speaker. He is not skilled in melee combat and prefers to do his fighting from long range as he is a proficient sniper.


GEAR:
LRLRS
Any available handgun
light durasteel armor


SHIP:
Prudii-class "Shadow" Stealth Interceptor
Color: StealthX black
Mods: Photon cruise missile(X1), radar jammer
Notes: This ship is equipped with nuclear armaments and is generally only used for emergencies or has the payload removed for other tasks.

DROIDS:
Many disposable droids. He doesn't view droids as anything but machines and often doesn't have a droid long enough to remember its name before he gets rid of it, loses it, or uses it to blow something up.


PETS:
None.


PERSONALITY:
Kad is a straightforward, no nonsense talker and thinker. His humor is dry and he is easily offended by people who suggest that he is uneducated or ignorant. His passion for learning is uncommon among Mandalorians. Despite his father's(Barrus Orar) reputation as a fierce warrior and capable soldier Kad is too mellow and reserved to be combative and has no real interest in combat. Regardless, he has proven himself to be a capable sniper and unparalleled slicer. His variety of skills and cleverness have had an effect on his ego. He is confident in his knowledge and often uses it as a toy, needlessly confusing people for their reaction. He thinks its hilarious. In battle he gets a little nervous but for the most part can keep his emotions in check, that is assuming he has any. He only gets truly exited when science is involved.


BIOGRAPHY:
As a child, Kad had always been fascinated by technology and science. As he grew up around small scale bacta refining, he naturally picked up chemistry and eventually began investing in college level scientific literature. At age 15 he began studying anything he could get his eyes on. Learning is his recreation making him an autodidact. Plagued by an inability to find any advanced learning material he learned slicing skills and became extremely proficient in programming so as to be able to pirate copies of college level learning material. His skills aided him in his family's production operation of bacta when they still had the equipment. He had also assisted with various projects involving design, physics, and deduction.


When Kad's father, Barrus Orar, adopted Ma'saan Piltaan(his original name) the two became fast friends as both were considered strange due to the fact that Kad had no real desire to learn combat and Ma'saan was aruetic. Kad taught him many skills from what he had learned himself and with those skills aided Ma'saan in becoming the family's mechanic and eventually a self sufficient agent for the clan.


KILLS:
None


BOUNTIES COLLECTED:
None


DUELING RING MATCHES:
None


GRAND TOURNAMENT MATCHES:
None


ROLE-PLAYS:
My Bad Bro, I Was Aiming For Your Head
 
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Rizzo

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He wasn't intended to be a legitimate character and I had planned on him dying but then plans changed and I started making his CS and then he killed another character.
 

Fine Frenzy

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Um...I'm not sure where to begin. Hi, I'm Fine Frenzy, or FF, or Grayson. It's whatever you prefer. I'm here to help.

(Note: these are all suggestions unless mentioned otherwise.)

Personally I would like to see more information on Clan Orar. I could not find any information on the clan, so it left me curious as to how they can afford to fund Kad. Is Clan Orar a small, tight-knit group of Mandalorians who financially support each other? Or are they a big clan, with vasts of farmland they use to grow crops that helps fund the warriors of the clan, like Kad. I'm sure the former would be a-okay with the admins, but not so much about the latter.

According to his attributes section, it appears as if he has no weaknesses at all. He's strong, fast and nimble, has a high consitution, is literally a genius, can plan well into the future, and has a silver tongue. I take a big issue to this. Without weakness there is no conflict, and with no conflict there is no story.

In regards to his skills, does he have a basic knowledge of these topics, or is he proficient in them? If it's the latter, where did he become proficient, in an higher education institute? That's something you want to add to your biography, especially so no more people like me come along bugging you about it. :P

Strengths and weaknesses section is a little off putting to me. His charisma section makes it appear like he's pretty proficient at speech, and can explain complex topics quite easily, but you mention here that he is a "dry speaker." His charisma section should reflect that. Also, there's the oddity that he, a Mandalorian, performs poorly in combat. Mandalorians are raised to be warriors before they are to be scientists.

In his gear, it links to an archived piece of equipment. What's up with that?

Where did he get his ship? That's something you might want to expand on. There's a story to be told I'm sure.

What about those droids, where did he get those? What make are they?

Also, um...you seem to be missing your entire personality section. Funnily enough, you kept the rules there. This isn't a suggestion, you must have at least 50 words describing Kad's personality. That's a rule you somehow neglected, and something other members have failed to point out. I'm sure you'll find it easy to write this up, though.

His biography is bare, and it doesn't explain his (I assume) academic knowledge of so many topics of science, or why he, a Mandalorian, is poor at fighting. Personally I would like to see his biography expanded on, and I'm sure most other members would agree with me. A longer, more detailed biography is always favored over barely meeting the word count requirement.

Anywho, I hope you take these to heart and consider working on your character some more. It appears to me that you got an idea you liked, but have yet to take the time out of your day to really develop it. With time, this could become a neat character.

xoxo,
FF
 
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Rizzo

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Thanks for the input. You see, Kad was originally intended to be an NPC but then the situation changed and I threw this up so that I at least had something on him. That is also the reason I had him drop out of His last RP towards the end. I'm slammed busy so this will eventually be up to par. :)

Edit:the silver tongue probably belongs to a different character and got there by accident.
 
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Fine Frenzy

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I do, indeed, see. :p Glad to see you taking the input well. I'll be waiting in angst until you get those big edits in!
 

Rizzo

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Now it's complete. Let me know if I missed anything. I just finally remembered to complete him.
 

Wookiee2

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I would like to apologize if I sound mean but in my opinion the bio needs to expand a lot. About 3 paragraphs at least. Also it has a huge skip from child to 16 year old. Try to make it longer and add more details in. However you might have something here.
 
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