Ask Let It Be

[Darth Stolas]

What he'd hoped would be just an ordinary outing had turned into a disaster. Spicy fumes and soups had made things a mess, Emryc said something that hurt Tiamat, and she'd left with a lie on her face and rolling off her tongue. What worried Morgan also had been the look on his boyfriend's face and he'd immediately regretted letting that tone slip out. He decided seconds later to apologize and make up for it when he returned to the ship, explain things.

He had explaining to do for Tiamat, as well. More than a little, and he wasn't looking forward to it, but it was necessary. Especially after she'd just been hurt like that.

Morgan originally followed his friend's fiery shock of bright red hair, then changed direction to take something of a shortcut. He reached a particular docking bay with a familiar ship, the Karma Chameleon. His pursuit took him through a security-only door, slender fingers pulling his datapad from his belt as he sat himself on a storage crate in front of the text. A message was sent off to Emryc, and then another to Tiamat.

The latter informed her that Morgan wasn't angry with her and just wanted to please talk, although he expected she'd show up sooner rather than later. His expression was stuck at 'complicated frustration' as different thoughts and emotions ran through him, taking a slow breath in an attempt to cool the flames beneath stormy, gray clouds. Morgan had a temper and didn't like it affecting these things. He'd learned that painful lesson already.

So there he sat, awaiting Tiamat's arrival. With any luck things could be resolved, somehow, for the better.

@GABA

 

[Darth Tiamat]

Stop...stop...stop...stop! Stop! Stop!

She hollered inside her own head, she just wanted to stop thinking about it; the more she thought about it, the less she could feel, but his words were poison and it seemed to seep into every crevasse of her psyche. She made sure to lose herself in the crowds at the port; she knew she wasn't a good liar and both Morgan and kriffing Emryc would have seen right through it. It bothered her even more that the events of lunch turned out like it had and the more she dwelled the harder she kicked herself for even coming to visit in the first place. It was clearly batting out of her league as Emryc eloquently put it, she believed his words and it felt as though it applied to much that she did in her life.

Tiamat heard a chime from her comm, a message coming through from Morgan. She held up her wrist to read the name only, trying to decide if she had the courage to read what it said since much of her mind seemed to have creative ideas as to what it could read instead of reality. The redhaired woman sighed and glanced at the message, and the woman growled, the last thing she wanted to do was to talk. She really preferred to just scream. In fact she were certain if she opened her mouth, no words could come.

The sith woman ran her fingers through her red locks and sighed; Morgan seemed stubborn enough to have what he wanted before he permitted her to leave. She guessed she could offer him that time, it was not him that she was conflicted about and besides, anytime she shared her woes, he always seemed to have the best advice. With a deep inhale and a long exhale, Tiamat made her way back to the ship.

He was correct in that she arrived sooner instead of later and he was sitting patiently on a crate near the ship. She stood in silence, her blue eyes studying him for a moment before her gaze broke away in shame and embarrassment, "I owe you an apology and lunch." she stated, "I'm sorry for all of that."

@Mr. Teatime

 

[Darth Stolas]

It was fairly easy to forget Stolas' power and position given the way he was still dressed in trousers and a button up, sitting there on a metal crate in a hangar. Mostly it came through in the intensity behind his eyes and the way they sometimes seemed as if they could see right through a person. That, and when one of the hangar staff who worked for him wandered in just after Tia from a staff entrance a sharp look made them turn right back out again.

Morgan seemed to light his cigarra at just the right time, just as his friend walked into the hangar. A cloud of smoke lazily drifted from between his lips as the red-haired Sith studied him, sharp golden gaze focused on her in turn. There was no real anger on his face but an annoyed frown slightly downturned the corners of his lips. Tia spoke first, turning away, and Morgan's eyes found a particularly interesting bit of wall to look at instead.

"Accepted. You two mix as water and burning oil," Morgan replied simply, taking another drag. At the very least it seemed they couldn't directly engage one another without some sort of argument breaking out, resulting in the Firrerreo's current awkward position. He offered forward a cigarra, in case she wanted one, before speaking again.

"Dancing is like conversation. Don't you think?" He flicked a bit of cigarra ash into the small into an a portable tray. His hawk-eyed gaze turned to look at Tiamat again, brows rising up a little. There was as usual little indication if what he was asking was literal or not, although he did seem to be asking it seriously.

@GABA

 

[Darth Tiamat]

She couldn't bring her gaze back to Morgan when he accepted her apology, his comparison of her and Emryc to water and burning oil only brought a sharper scowl to her features. Her fingers curled into her palms, his words from earlier still fresh in her mind as she did her best to push it away and think about it later. However, it seemed like a futile effort and the only way she felt it would stop is if she drew it out physically with her fingers. Though it seemed like Morgan was going to make her confront the issue now; her eyes turned to the cigarra and shook her head, refusing the offer. It was a habit she never picked up, but did not mind others as Morgan flicked the ash from his, moving on to further what he wanted to discuss.

Tiamat leaned against the crate on the side adjacent to Morgan, taking some of the weight off her feet, and pressing into the raw cuts on her backside. The physical pain did little to mitigate the emotional pain she knew that was there, but it was still numb; to have something hurt so much that you stopped hurting was a new one for her, a sensation that was infinitely worse.

Morgan compared conversation to dance, confirming with her before moving on to his point. However, Tia didn't say anything and remained silent, a new ache thumped in her chest as she had not danced probably in the longest ever. Months in the prison left her essentially motionless, if she let alone tensed a muscle, they were on her. Her fingers crawled along her checks before lacing together behind her neck; she didn't say anything in response, but she was listening and waited for Morgan to continue.

@Mr. Teatime

 

[Darth Stolas]

Cigarra smoke drifted wistfully through the the hangar air as Morgan exhaled a stream off toward the side to prevent it from blowing into Tiamat's face. He watched the cycle of expression and emotion on the other Sith's face, his own thoughts on the interactions and conversation he'd observed after arriving at Ship. Naturally he'd been annoyed and frustrated by at least of it, the situation itself having been abundantly awkward. His face carried a mild grumpiness along with the rest of what it was doing at any given time.

"There is a tempo, a sense of balance and awareness, steps back and forth. It takes practice, understanding, and observation to dance ballet, yes? To be in sync with the others?" Golden eyes seemed to have moved off to find a bit of coloured paint on the Karma, idly tracing the familiar lines. It certainly appeared to be in good repair, which he was pleased by, but he was really doing it because looking at Tiamat somehow made this more awkward.

@GABA

 

[Darth Tiamat]

He described the components to making a dance successful. They were not necessarily taught in practice, it was something one learned as the years and experience progressed. He delved into a dance she knew best, ballet, and there was an extremely fine tuning to how one moves across the stage and how one holds their body during practice and even in performance. To be in sync with others, one accommodate for what worked best, in turn, there was reciprocity, and it was a shared mutual feeling that never needed to be spoken.

Though she was in too much pain to appreciate is comparison fully. She did her best to listen, to be open to what he had to say, but there was more than once when she needed to swallow the lump in her throat and the pain tore from her center outward before it would just stop. Nothing would be felt, and she welcomed it for now.

"I don't think it will matter much anymore, Morgan." she stated softly, "Not with him at least." she said and then fell into silence again, her mind filtering through the ledger of memories between her and Emryc. There were certainly times where there was a balance, but it seemed too rare to make anything noteworthy of such; at least from what she could see right now.

"You can't fix it, and I seem to still not know my place. No dance will fix that, ever." she stated and shifted to turn and face Morgan, pausing as Emryc's words seemed to echo and cut into her psyche once more. "I have made myself a fool despite how hard I work to observe, to understand, to practice. Its just..." Tiamat shook her head, looking away as she tried to find the right word, "Just a fantasy I have fooled myself into believing and I need to stop."

@Mr. Teatime

 

[Darth Stolas]

Morgan's head tilted a little to the side, eyes widening in response to Tiamat's words. After what she'd said and expressed before they were certainly surprising. Emryc hadn't spoken kindly but she'd been more hurt by them than the Firrerreo had believed. He wondered at it, knowing the half-Sephi generally only meant what he said as it stood.

Instead of saying something immediately he allowed the moments of quiet to pass in thought, goldens watching the woman's face again. She had more to say and it all resulted in a frown on Morgan's features. He would much prefer the two of them found a way to get along but that also wasn't something that was going to happen right away. Especially right now.

"I think it matters," he replied after a little bit, tapping some ash off his cigarra. "But realize it is... Complicated." Rather an understatement given the circumstances, really. Tia mentioned her 'place', which he didn't entirely understand. This sounded like a much broader issue than her and Emryc's feelings. It was something he would have to ponder a moment. His friend had her insecurities but Morgan had to consider they might go much deeper than he'd believed.

"A fantasy?" he asked in the meantime, blinking "Of what sort?" Admittedly that was a little vague even if he had an idea.

@GABA

 

[Darth Tiamat]

He emphasized it was complicated.

"No." she stated flatly, she understood complicated, "Its simple." she told Morgan. If it were complicated, she would have it figured out by now. It was what she did best, solve the difficult questions and this was not a difficult situation to solve. It was simple and she just complicated things further. Her fingers found a thin lock of hair and gently she ran her fingers through it while she continued, "This is how I am and it will happen to you if I let you know too much of me." Tia warned Morgan, "Get too close, help me too much...I can't have it, its not how I was made to be. I will push back in any means I can." The redheaded Sith explained and let out a long exhale.

"I know this and I can't stop myself. I get lost, like navigating through the thick of stardust." Tiamat paused, her thoughts poured through her head as she recalled the times she lashed back. It seemed like it was easier when others depended on her, it made her feel powerful, a strength she consumed and relished in, and even seemed to thrive. However, others doing things for her, that was entirely different, it stirred up anticipation of failure and letdown she had learned many times over. "I don't know what to make of it." she added, there was uncertainty in her voice, though it was unclear if she were still talking to Morgan or just trying to resolve something for herself.

"There's nothing complicated about this though." she stated more sternly, "I played on a hope, took a risk, thought maybe there could have been something more between him and I, I even told him how I felt when he kept pressing..." she smirked and shook her head in disbelief, "But, I think I was lying to myself then, creating something that I hoped that I could obtain...that was the fantasy." Tiamat pushed herself up straight from the crate.

"Plus, I have too much work to catch up on instead of fretting over this." Tiamat felt herself grasping for something else to discuss, entirely uncomfortable still, "Best to have a mind free of everything else so I can focus better."

@Mr. Teatime

 

[Darth Stolas]

His brows furrowed a little as Tia refuted what he' said. She had much to say on the matter and Morgan chose to listen instead of comment on each point, adding all the little details he was aware of together with them. Her own nature as she understood it was spoken of and compared to piloting, a warning was given that curled the Firrerreo's lips downward, and then a simple statement of uncertainty. Tiamat almost seemed to talking to herself rather Morgan at points.

He flicked a modicum of ash from his cigarra before languidly bringing it up to his for a slow drag, smoke pouring in a stream from between his lips. Golden eyes could see the woman's growing discomfort with the subject even as Morgan was forming a clearer idea of her in his head. A blink after she up something more and confessing her feelings to the half-Sephi, a slightly awkward expression on the Firrerreo's face. This seemed like a recurring theme and he understood Emryc well enough to assume he'd made how he felt known.

"If you want a partner, you need one who dances to the same song," Morgan suddenly said, referencing one of their earliest conversations about the red-head's difficulty in finding dance partners in general. "Surely there is someone. Why not ask?" Here he believed it was both complicated and abundantly simple given what the Firrerreo knew of the two people involved. He sighed softly and leaned back a little, his gaze fixed on the other Sith for a few moments. It sounded as if she'd held out hope for a relationship, but had she asked about one?

But then Tia suddenly changed subjects and Morgan gave her a searching look.

"What facilities do you have for your work?"

@GABA

 

[Darth Tiamat]

A partner who danced to the same song? She believed too there could be someone out there with it, though when he suggested her to ask, she felt her cheeks glow hot. It seemed so simple, yet just as complicated, recalling the last time Morgan had made such a suggestion. It seemed like forever ago, and in a way, a lot less complicated as she didn't have the passing time as she did now to fret in uncertainty and questioning.

Though someone else to share the same song and dance as her, that seemed difficult; it had felt as though her own tune grew quiet until she could no longer hear it. Instead now, it seemed the only thing she could hear and feel is the roar of waves since leaving the prison, it was turbulent, unyielding, and yet she felt safe in the center.

Morgan seemed to accept her topic change and she was more than relieved he asked about her work instead another about her and Emryc. She gestured with an outstretched arm to the ship, "This is what I have left; I had a small lab here on Eriadu, but the Eternal had sent their own people to take over in my absence." she stated, her tone stoic, but soft sigh gave away the annoyance that laid deep underneath. She folded her arms, unhappy she was told she was not cleared to resume, "I thought about setting up elsewhere, I needed a bigger space anyways and away from the Eternal."

@Mr. Teatime

 

[Darth Stolas]

Morgan's cigarra was nearing its end. He took a final drag before putting it out and letting the smoke drift away from him, watching its winding path as Tiamat went through her series of thoughts. Tia's expressions were also watched in glances to see her progress, but eventually they'd moved on to the topic of work for the moment.

Goldens turned to find the Karma Chameleon again, his head tilting slightly. While it was an excellent ship for traveling around it didn't have a great abundance of room and was from from a proper research facility. Morgan's brows furrowed and he looked at Tiamat in silence for a couple seconds, expression pensive. If the Eternal had taken over her lab and was controlling that research and area the immediate solution seemed simple.

Technically he could try putting her back in her old lab but that would cause unwanted problems even if it worked out well. "Can you move your work to Dromund Kaas?" The stormy planet had always had an interest in technological progress and Morgan was already in the process of pulling hires and firms from Clak'dor over to that side of the galaxy anyway. Tia's research was too valuable to leave in idle hands.

@GABA

 

[Darth Tiamat]

Morgan turned his head to look at the Karma and Tia followed his gaze to her ship again. Her eyes outlined the sharp edges of the outer haul, taking note of its details, even down to the scratches from wear of flight. For a long moment, her blues rested on the ship, narrowing in her thoughts as she wondered any of the Eternals' people were able to get onboard or hack into her computer system. A thorough comb-through would be needed, probably more often now.

Tia let out a long sigh, feeling the heaviness of her own doubts settling; Morgan asked if she could go to Dromund Kaas and her eyebrows rose with interest. "Dromund Kaas?" she repeated, confirming what she heard, trying to remember if there were any reasons not to go there. "It would be an easy move." Tia smirked glancing at her ship, "Everything's all packed, I can be there in the morning."

@Mr. Teatime

 

[Darth Stolas]

Morgan blinked once at Tia as she repeated what he'd said. She certainly seemed interested in the idea, which was good. Either way it was farther from the Eternal and closer to what was quickly becoming the center of an area Stolas influenced. But of course he wasn't the only person who rightfully held authority in that area of space, he had made that very clear to Raze.

"Then a facility will be set up," he said simply. Logically it was likely the best option. Logistically it was simple. Personally it was still awkward but Morgan was a willful man. His friend and boyfriend being at odds would continue to be frustrating unless somehow resolved. Both interpersonally and professionally it was a difficult situation.

"Why do you lack confidence in yourself?" Really he didn't understand it that well. Morgan was exceptionally self-confident and secure even in failure, learning and adapting from such things. Any less wouldn't fit the standards of his family, not that others knew that, and while he could overthink things at times he preferred answers or solutions to dwelling on uncertain subjects.

@GABA

 

[Darth Tiamat]

He suggested a facility would be set up and a grin pulled on Tiamat's lip as she started to think about how she was to set things up and what she will need to continue her research. The best part was she would be able to continue without oversight from the Eternal, nor have to deal with their people. She pressed back the urge to jump with excitement, but it was hard to hide as she still rose on her tips of her toes and pressed her fingers together in a girlish delight. "I-" she paused when Morgan continued, her moment of glee cut short by his question regarding her confidence.

Her brow narrowed as a pout and then a frown returned to her face. Things were still a bit too fresh to process currently, the question of course struck her, knowing it was a topic that reached far behind her defenses. She was silent for a moment, her gaze leaving Morgan and falling to her fingers as she tried to find something wrong with them to distract her. Though, she would find her center and folded her arms in front of her.

"Why do you have so much?" she asked, her face contorting into bewilderment as how someone like him could carry himself as he does regardless of what happen.

@Mr. Teatime

 

[Darth Stolas]

Tia pouted at the question, of course. Aside from it being a rather straightforward question Morgan didn't usually ask such blunt things. He'd learned to do so more often from a particular someone and found it useful at times. She folded her arms, a warding gesture that matched how uncomfortable she was with the topic.

A brow rose in bemusement. For her the question was complicated, but for the Drast it was simple.

"Because I know who and what I am." He was confident and self-sure because his deeds and introspection gave him a solid foundation. Morgan knew what he was capable of and what he was not, took pride in success and learned from failure. While he wasn't above embarrassment, shame, guilt, or anger, he refused to kneel before a challenge rather than find a solution.

Once he'd hidden much more of himself and uncertainty had crept in, but over time many doubts had burned away to ash. He'd been taught to adapt, after all.

"Should I not?"

@GABA

 

[Darth Tiamat]

She really didn't expect him to answer, but he did and made it sound so simple. However, it couldn't be as simple because...well...

Tiamat let out a long defeated sigh, she wasn't one who could figure out simple, complicated was simple for her. She could relate to Morgan as to who she was. That definition of identity, Tiamat was well versed, but what she was, well, it was so vague, it was easy to get caught up in the mass of just another Sith. Her gaze fell back to Morgan when he questioned if he should not have such high confidence in himself.

Her brow furrowed as a scowl crossed her features, she felt that question was loaded. She turned her blues back onto the wall in front of her, letting silence settle as her thoughts picked away at ideas. She wouldn't say she entirely lacked confidence, there were aspects of herself where she held her chin exceptionally high and she knew where she faltered.

"Morgan-" she started but then stopped herself and grinned, "I can learn to dance better." she simply stated.

@Mr. Teatime

 

[Darth Stolas]

The question was loaded, quite intentionally. It forced the listener to either be bluntly straightforward or think hard what'd been asked. Regardless of what she'd said Morgan wouldn't have been offended or much bothered given his personality and general sense of self-assuredness. What he'd wanted was for Tia to ask herself the same question.

It seemed she may have and put some pieces of what he'd said together. Fingers tip-tapped a moment against the crate he sat on and his lips curled up a little at the edges into a friendly smile that didn't show his teeth.

"Just so. Mistakes are lessons to be learned from, or so my teacher told me once. You're a smart woman, Tia," he tapped his head lightly with a finger in a knowing sort of way. "But you think too much." Which he only mentioned because it was a tendency of his as well. Morgan may have sharp eyes and a keen understanding of others but he still tended toward overthinking to do it at times.

@GABA

 

[Darth Tiamat]

Morgan reciprocated the smile and Tiamat inhaled deeply, feeling as though it were the first deep breath she was able to take in quite some time. Quietly, her breath escaped her lips as she listed to Morgan talk about mistakes. She was certain she had that lesson too, perhaps many times, but it wasn't necessarily a reminder to learn, but permission that she would not be perfect. She did not need a cruel master to teach her as it would seem, her own self was the cruelest teacher with demands set further than what Emryc had set while she studied under him.

Her blue eyes caught his goldens while he tapped his head, reminding her of her smarts, but the downfall of such were brains really did mean, she thinks too much. There was never a moment where she wasn't thinking, her mind continued to churn out numbers, code, and patterns to the point where it was difficult to just stop and be human and not some computer. The other problem was she was unable to recognize when she was thinking too hard into a situation and when to stop, even now she was coming up with ways to identify such overthinking, which was probably counter-productive to the idea.

By the Force Tia, you're just a mess today...

She mentally scolded herself.

"I'll have plenty to do to keep myself from over thinking." Though at the moment, mentally she did not feel like thinking much at all. She pushed herself off the crate, turning to face Morgan as she stepped backwards to the ramp, "I'll be seeing you soon again then, on Dromand Kaas." Tia said feeling the conversation coming to an end, she certainly did not feel there was more that needed to be said, there was plenty to sort for her already.

@Mr. Teatime