<3's for kamair for finding the image
When the world stabs you in the back
The worst thing you could do is become indifferent too
There is no "they," no idiot brigade
Only a thousand you's, equally as bruised
When the world stabs you in the back
The worst thing you could do is become indifferent too
There is no "they," no idiot brigade
Only a thousand you's, equally as bruised
I was the apple of my Master's eye. A model student and a model Jedi in every way. My skills with a lightsaber were better than my Master's by the time I was fifteen years old with my adeptness of the force lagging a little behind. Of course my ambidexterity and quick learning of Jar'Kai heavily attributed to my lightsaber prowess, but I digress. But despite my facade of complacency I held contempt for the Jedi teachings in my heart. I didn't understand why the Dark Side was to be feared as the Jedi feared it. Light and Dark are just two sides of the same coin. Why could one not utilize both but still be a follower of the Light? That question plagued me for quite a long time. But more on that later.
I was promoted to the rank of Knight when I turned eighteen years old. Early by any standards but my Master felt that I was beyond ready. I wasn't ready, in any sense of the word, to take on a padawan at that time so I decided to test my knowledge and my skills alone. Little did I know that one choice would change my entire future. Despite my Master's, and the rest of the Jedi order for that matter, warnings of the lure of the Dark Side, I secretly trained myself in their ways of the Force. The Dark Side was so much more.. empowering. But I was not filled with the rage and hate that my Master said would destroy me. Quite the opposite actually, my heart was still filled with the desire to do good, to help people who couldn't help themselves. But it's what happened on Metellos that changed everything.
I don't remember why I was on Metellos, just one of the many planets I visited in my time abroad, but something happened there. I was walking aimlessly on one of the stratablocks that pocked Mettalos' surface when I was confronted by a small child. At first I figured it to be a distraction for a mugging, actually I hoped it would be one just so I could have something to occupy my time for if not just a moment, but the tiny girl held out a small green orb in her hands.
"I'll give you this for some credits." She said to me. She looked dirty and poor, and who am I to refuse her? I gave her three hundred credits for it, and the look of pure awe on the girl's face at so much money was almost enough in and of itself, but she insisted I take the orb. Not wanting to offend the child, and what can I say, I have a thing for green, I accepted. Taking it back to my ship, I inspected it for awhile. At first it appeared to be nothing more than a shiny, yet perfectly spherical piece of rock. That's when something amazing happened. I don't know if by accident or by fate, the small jade colored rock seemed to change before my eyes. It flattened out and spread itself into a thin rectangle and on it were words. No, more than words, someone's inner most feelings and philosophy about the Force. Everything I had ever questioned about the difference between utilizing the Dark Side for good and falling into the abyss of evil was explained to me. The Dark Side was a tool, not thing to be feared. Have control over yourself and you have control over the Dark Side. Deciding to show my discovery to the Masters, I returned to the temple where I was first trained. But when I arrived things changed again.
Cain Ray, a person who I had looked up too since my indoctrination into the Jedi Order was leaving. Leaving! Before I could even comprehend what was happening my mind was already made up. I was going with him. No longer would I use discretion with my newly honed Dark Side powers. No, I would join Cain and show the Jedi that good can come of the Dark Side. So I left with him, just a tender young Knight at twenty one, but I knew what I was doing. At least I hoped I did. Now a Knight in Cain's Shade Order, I do all I can to show any who will listen that the Jedi teach only one side of the Force. Using both sides is not dangerous, but makes you whole. Not since the day I left with Cain have I questioned my decision because I know in my heart it was the right one.
