Ask Yavin IV Louder Than Words

[Haldir Eressëa]

The Library was one of the places Haldir Eressëa often frequented, and mostly for reasons other than reading.

Even after taking Willa as his Padawan, there remained a time when the bustle of activities in the Jedi temple on Yavin IV became too much, too loud, for the quiet Knight. Just an hour ago he had been – no, accosted was too much a word – approached by some of the braver younglings, their questions about his appearance and his silence coming one aftet another. The Arkanian didn't dislike children, but he was loathe to admit that their energy and exuberance rendered him helpless and their attention made him feel trapped. He'd been asked constantly why he never spoke and what his hand movements meant.

Willa would've probably found amusement in watching her Master flounder, surrounded by a gaggle of younglings.

The Arkanian slipped away when Padawan Friers, seemingly taking pity on the masked Knight, stepped in and distracted the younglings with a beautiful flower he'd picked from the garden. Their curiosity towards Haldir was expertly redirected by the older male, and before any of the children could ask the Knight to come with them the Arkanian had already disappeared down the hall.

He made a mental note to thank the Padawan later.

The encounter with the younglings had left Haldir's inclination to speak wane. An archivist, new to the Order, noticed him set foot inside the Library and waved a hand in greeting.

"Good day, Knight Eressëa," said the young Mirialan with a friendly smile, blue eyes scanning the masked Arkanian. "May I help you with something?"

Raising both gloved hands to sign "No, thank you" he politely stepped past her, unaware of the uncomprehending look she gave him.

Moving forward, Haldir made way towards one of the tables situated by the windows. Still reeling from the surprise he felt at being ganged upon by a group of curious younglings, the Knight – somewhat unfocused and absent-minded about his immediate surroundings – noticed a little too late a young half-Sephi directly on his path. So lost in thought was the Arkanian, and the brush of his shoulder against the tall Padawan's was inevitable. Though it wasn't a particularly hard collision, the force would be enough to make the young man drop whatever he might be carrying on his hands.

Pale blue eyes widened behind the mask. Immediately Haldir's hands rose again, signing too fast to be barely understood,

"I'm sorry, young Padawan. I haven't been mindful of my surroundings."

He hoped the half-Sephi understood – Haldir really wasn't in the mood to speak, let alone choose which voice to imitate so he wouldn't have to use his own.

@LouJoVi

 

[Elidan]

It was a day like any other in Elidan life since the fall of Ajan Kloss. As always he had woken up early to be the first to have breakfast, this way avoiding contact with any other Padawan. Then he went to do his daily activities. Obviously, also avoiding meeting anyone of his age who could want to talk to him.

By this point, the half-Sephi should have been used to the comments of the other Padawans, who called him arrogant and weird. But it was still painful. Elidan really wanted to have friends, but when he tries to approach the others he becomes so nervous that the only thing that he can do is run away. And when he is finally able to calm himself enough to feel comfortable near the others, the Padawan can't talk to them because of his mutism. Not all Jedi know sign language and so far he never met a Padawan or Youngling that knew.

He could write what he wanted to say in his Datapad and show it to them, but by this point the other children were either too bored or already thinking that he was weird. At least some Knights and Masters would interact with him, but he didn’t like to disturb them just because he wanted someone that would understand his signs. They have more important things to do than talk with a mute Padawan.

So, as he had no friends and was nervous around other Padawans, Elidan preferred to spend his free time reading. He would read anywhere in the Temple, in his room and even hidden in some corner of the gardens. Since today he had free time from his Padawan activities, the half-Sephi had decided to pick a new holobook at the Library. He had chosen one about the history of the Galactic Republic and it was so interesting that he started to read while walking.

Elidan was so absorbed in his reading that he didn't even notice the masked man coming toward him. By the time he realized, it was too late. Their shoulder’s brushed against each other and the Padawan ended letting the holobook fall on the floor. The boy turned to look at the man, the point of his ears twitched, as it always did when he was nervous.

Elidan was going to sign an apology when the man did it, making the Padawan widen his eyes. He didn't know there was another Jedi in the temple who used sign language to communicate. “No, it’s my fault. I should have paid attention.” he signed to the man, his hands shaking a bit. The point of the half-Sephi’s ears were twitching and his face was red, obvious signals of his nervousness. The man’s mask made him even more nervous. He couldn't see his reaction, what if he was mad at him?

"Excuse me, I need to go." he signed to the man. Wanting to leave as fast as possible, Elidan bent down and reached out to pick up the holobook that had fallen in the floor. He really hoped that it wasn’t damaged.

@Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Haldir Eressëa]

Beneath the cover of his mask, a thin swathe of black bandages and nothing more, really, Haldir's eyes widened in surprise at the Padawan's response – or rather how he replied to the Knight's apology.

The half-Sephi wouldn't have an immediate inkling that the Knight was just as surprised as he was upon finding out that neither of them were the only ones who mostly spoke using sign language. He didn't know if the Padawan was born a mute or a selective mute like him, but Haldir didn't care at the moment which was which. To think that he wasn't alone in his plight here in the Temple... though he reflected on whatever circumstances the Padawan might have experienced because of his mutism.

If it turned out to be selective mutism like his, Haldir felt compelled to learn what had caused the Padawan his silence and his voice.

The Arkanian's lips parted though no words came out, as expected, when the Padawan signed that he was leaving. A part of him – the strange masked child who had been new to the Order and had no one to talk to, to connect to – didn't want the half-Sephi to just leave. Maybe it was because Haldir saw a semblance of himself in the way the Padawan held himself. Maybe it was the nervousness the teen felt, the way his hands shook as he signed back an apology to the Knight. Maybe–

Haldir reached out to the Padawan through the Force, the Knight's presence authoritative but calm. Elidan would hear no words but the flash of emotion the Knight allowed him to feel would translate in a rather straightforward,

Wait.

He walked past the half-Sephi and stopped in front of the latter, though mindful to provide enough space between them so the Knight wasn't invading the Padawan's personal space. One gloved hand closed into a fist before it rested directly above his heart, and Haldir made a circular motion with it.

I apologize.

"You're not dismissed, Padawan," he signed to the young man. Haldir's authoritative presence through the Force faded, leaving behind the calmness he now actively projected. There was no reason to give the Padawan any more cause for nervousness, and even if Elidan wouldn't see it a small smile was now on Haldir's face. Gesturing at the holobook he was holding then at the shelves upon shelves of stored data and books around them.

"I do not want to impose," Haldir continued to sign, "but the librarians find it difficult to understand me. Can I ask for your help? I've been looking for a particular holobook and some texts, but I can't seem to locate them."

@LouJoVi

 

[Elidan]

Elidan picked the holobook from the floor and felt relief when he saw that it was still working without any damage. The Padawan couldn't even imagine what would happen if he damaged it. Maybe he could be forbidden from returning to the Library! He shuddered only in thinking about this possibility.

With the Holobook in his hands, the teen started to walk, wanting to find a place where he could read it in peace and, most importantly, alone. However, he stopped abruptly when he felt the masked man reaching to him through the Force. He felt the man's authoritative presence, but there was no signal that the other was mad. However, it didn't make Elidan more calm. He strengthened his grip on the holobook, while his hands started to sweat. The half-Sephi wanted to run away, so he could find a place to stay alone.

While he heard the man walking toward him, the Padawan wondered what he did wrong. When the other Jedi signed to him before, he didn't seem to be mad. But with the mask, Elidan couldn’t be sure. Each step the other took towards him made the boy's heart beat faster and the point of his ears twitched constantly.

The masked man continued to walk until he stopped in front of the Padawan. Of all the things that went through his mind, the Jedi had done what he didn't expect. Was with wide eyes that Elidan saw the other move his fist in a circular motion close to his chest. He knows perfectly well what this means, after all this is probably the signal he uses the most. The Padawan constantly apologizes to others. He apologizes for not being able to speak, for being in the way, for being annoying. He also apologizes when others don't understand what he's doing. He hated to be the source of problems for others. However, he never saw someone use this signal to apologize to him.

When the Jedi signed that he wanted the Padawan to stay, Elidan’s nervousness started to become fear and he moved his head to stare at his shoes. Was the masked man going to scold him? The Padawan was sure this was going to happen because of the Holobook. How could he be so clumsy and let it fall?

He was already going to sign an apology, when he felt calm coming from the man through the Force. This caused him to quickly move his head and look at the masked Jedi. He saw the other ask for his help to find some holobooks. The Padawan widened his eyes again, no one ever asked for his help. Thinking that this could be one of the few opportunities that he could be useful, Elidan nodded in agreement and left the holobook that he was holding at a nearby table. Then he turned to the man “Of course. Do you have the names or the type of the holobooks that you are searching for?” he signed. He could understand the other's difficulty, not all librarians knew sign language.

@Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Haldir Eressëa]

Anxiety still hung over the Padawan, but despite the curiosity to get a read on him through the Force Haldir was quickly shown that he didn't have to. The half-Sephi's expression and body language were comparable to an open book. The way the boy held himself nervously almost spoke of an awkwardness and a struggle to be understood by his peers, an attempt to even connect to them but the results turned far from what was intended.

One might say that he was talking to the Padawan out of pity, but the Arkanian's aim was far from it. The way the half-Sephi's eyes widened upon recognizing the sign of apology made Haldir remember how he would constantly sign sorry to others when he first joined the Order as a youngling. Only under his former Master's guidance did he learn that he didn't necessarily need to apologize for being misunderstood, and that there was really no point to pleasing even those who never liked him for his chosen silence.

The half-Sephi before him was still young. He was yet to learn what Haldir had learned, though the Knight hoped that the Padawan would soon be able to find others who would reach out to him with genuine intentions. As far as the Arkanian knew there were groups of friends among the Padawans, and there were some who wouldn't shun the half-Sephi just because he didn't like to speak.

An eagerness overcame the Padawan after Haldir had asked for his help. He smiled beneath the cover of his mask before gesturing for Elidan to follow him. Making sure that the half-Sephi could see his hands, the Arkanian raised them at chest level before signing a response.

"Thank you. I'm looking for holobooks or texts about a religious group from the Old Republic." Haldir paused, trying to remember the group's name. He snapped his fingers once, twice, then three times while he dug his mind for keywords so he could put a name to what he was looking for, head tilting slightly to one side. The Knight let out a quiet, satisfied hum when he put two and two together. "The subject on the holobook are the Dai Bendu."

Then, as if remembering not only what he was looking for but also his manners, the Knight finally introduced himself. "I am Haldir Eressëa, by the way. May I ask what your name is, Padawan?"

@LouJoVi

 

[Elidan]

Elidan followed the masked Jedi, maintaining a small distance between them. The Padawan also didn't feel very comfortable being around people he didn't know, being afraid of ending up doing something that would embarrass himself and make the other mad with him. He would also start to think what the others were thinking about him and this would make him more anxious.

However, Elidan had accepted to help the Jedi because he knew how difficult it could be for someone with mutism to communicate with others. The archivist, who was working today at the Library, didn't understand him either, but he didn’t really need her help. After spending so much time there, the Padawan learned where most of the sections were organized.

He watched the man sign the name of the subject of the holobooks and the section where they could be. Elidan didn't need much time to think about their location. Recently he had read a holobook about the origin of the Jedi Order where the Dai Bendu was mentioned. The Padawan remembers that he found some texts about it in the section regarding religions of the Galaxy "I know where you can find it. Follow me, please." he signed to the masked Jedi and started to guide him through the Library shelves.

Before they could walk further, Elidan saw the other Jedi sign to him, informing that his name was Haldir Eresseä. Seeing that made the Padawan remember that he didn't present himself to the other. This made his face become a bit red, thinking that Haldir probably would consider him as someone rude. "My name is Elidan. It's nice to meet you, sir." the Padawan signed, then he continued to guide the other.

While they walked, the half-Sephi became curious about Haldir. He never had met another Jedi that had mutism. Elidan wondered if the man was born this way or if he was like him, having become mute due to a trauma. However, the boy would never ask these questions. He didn't want to be inconvenient and made the masked Jedi mad with him.

The Padawan would stop in front of a shelf, then he turned to Haldir "This is the section regarding religions of the Galaxy. Since the holobooks are organized by alphabetical order, the ones regarding the Dai Bendu are there." he signed before pointing toward the space where the holobooks would be.

@Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Haldir Eressëa]

Haldir had maintained a safe distance between him and the Padawan to respect his personal space, aware of the latter's discomfort at being thrust so suddenly in the Arkanian Knight's presence. Every flash of expression, the changes in body language, the reserved way the half-Sephi held himself were all reminders of how Haldir had been as a Padawan himself. Though he might have – and still had – the secretly snarky attitude of his youth when the mood hit him, the Knight felt as if he was interacting with his younger self in the form of Elidan.

Hands clasped behind him, Haldir let Elidan take the lead in the hopes of it giving the Padawan a slight boost in self-confidence and to help him feel at ease. The Knight understood that aside from his selective mutism, his masks were one of the reasons why others didn't usually interact with him. It was obviously difficult to converse with someone who wouldn't speak when he wasn't inclined to do so, but even more so when there were no expressions to gauge what his thoughts or feelings were. Admittedly he felt bad for Elidan to be subjected into this kind of interaction, but unless they became more than acquaintances then Haldir had no reason to show the Padawan his face.

As much as he wanted to shed the teachings of his clan, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not when he was still so deeply entrenched in their laws.

And most certainly not when – in spite of his disownment – his little brother continued to fight so hard to have Haldir's status within the family reinstated.

"The pleasure is mine, young one."

The Knight would've kept himself closed off in the Force but he refrained from doing so. He gently reached out, letting Elidan feel through the Force that Haldir was far from mad – if anything all Haldir felt were the pleasant surprise upon discovering someone like him and a relaxed demeanor that spoke of the Knight's complete lack of unease towards Elidan. The Padawan was an interesting study even without having to read him through the Force. The half-Sephi's expressions and body language spoke enough for him.

Haldir wouldn't be surprised if Elidan was genuinely a good kid. For him to push aside his discomfort and help a Knight he'd just met...

He stopped beside Elidan – while still maintaining respectful distance between them, of course – when the latter had located the right shelf. Haldir blinked at it, wondering why he hadn't tried looking at this section of the library, then turned to look at the Padawan when he sensed that he was going to speak.

Following where Elidan pointed, Haldir gave the Padawan a grateful nod.

"Thank you, Elidan, for your help," he signed back to the Padawan after making sure that those blue green eyes were firmly fixed at him. Haldir plucked out the right holobook before turning to face Elidan and gesturing towards the general direction where the latter left his own holobook. "Forgive my curiosity, but I wanted to ask. What were you going to read earlier?"

@LouJoVi

 

[Elidan]

Elidan didn’t expect to feel Haldir through the Force. Due to the mask that the man was using, the Padawan had concluded that he was a private person and was only asking the half-Sephi help because he was the only one around here that could understand sign language. Feeling that the Knight wasn't mad, made the boy become more calm. However, he would still be careful to not do something that could change that.

Elidan smiled after Haldir thanked him for the help. "You are welcome. It was good to be useful." the Padawan signed to the Knight. There were few occasions where he could be useful for someone else, mostly due to his discomfort around strangers. He wanted to have a Master, so he could help others across the Galaxy, but he also feared what would happen when this moment would arrive. However, the half-Sephi doubted that any Jedi would want to have a padawan like him, full of problems.

After seeing Haldir pick up the holobook that he wanted, Elidan decided that his usefulness had ended and that it was time for him to go. he was getting ready to walk back to the table where he had left the holobook, but stopped when he realized that the Knight wanted to tell him something. However, he didn't expect that the man would ask him about the holobook that he was going to read.

"It is about the history of the Galactic Republic. This holobook is the first volume of a collection that covers from the beginning of the Republic to the rise of the Empire." he signed to the Knight. Elidan loved to read about anything, from biology to history. Since he recovered after Ajan Kloss, the holobooks were his only friends.

"Do you like history?" now was his turn to ask Haldir a question. Elidan was curious about the holobook that the Jedi had picked in the shelf. "Sometime ago I read that the Dai Bendu could be related to the origin of the Jedi Order." he signed. The Padawan only hoped that the man would not feel annoyed with him trying to extend their conversation. He was starting to like the interaction with someone like him, with mutism.


@Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Haldir Eressëa]

Haldir was getting used with being smiled at the more he ventured out of his own shell to try and socialize with other members of the Order. Though it wasn't really his nature since he preferred his own company most of the times, going out on missions, helping in the infirmary, and even being around his own Padawan were becoming the catalysts for the Knight to finally learn how to reach out to others.

Suffice to say, the smile Elidan gave the Arkanian prompted a genuine one of his own beneath the cover of his bandages/mask. He could feel the Padawan beginning to calm down, and it eased Haldir's own doubts that he might have probably been making the half-Sephi feel uneasy because of his concealed face. He knew it usually threw other sentients off given the fact that they rely on facial expressions to gauge what he might be feeling.

The Padawan's enthusiasm resembled the sun that broke free from the dark clouds through the Force, and it was infectious. He wouldn't doubt that Elidan loved to read, seeing as most would only reply with a book's title and a basic grasp of what it was about. People didn't normally talk about volumes nor editions, or so that was what Haldir knew for it was what he had witnessed from his limited interactions with others in the library.

“That's a very interesting read,” the Arkanian signed, commending Elidan's choice of holobook. At the Padawan's question, Haldir tilted his head a little to the side in consideration and settled for an honest response because it was the least he could do for the half-Sephi. The young man had been genuine with his aid, and he would receive a genuine response from the Knight in return.

“I do not dislike it,” he replied truthfully, hands signing a little slow but sure. “Though I know that neglecting the past would lead to a horrible future. You can say that I value history instead, even its darker aspects, for they all teach us many things.”

The smile on Haldir's face widened at Elidan's mention of the Dai Bendu. So the Padawan had read about them.

“It's something my Master once told me in passing during my early days as a Padawan, and if truth be told I've just recently remembered it,” he signed, sharing in the half-Sephi's fascination on the subject. “That’s why I've been searching for this holobook for further reading. Their Order had fallen into oblivion, my Master told me, and that knowledge about their existence had been largely forgotten. I don't want to be one of those who forget nor do not know.”

He had so much to learn from the topic, and he could only thank his former Master for even knowing about the Dai Bendu despite his knowledge being limited at the surface.

A sheepish, quiet chuckle, the first sound Haldir had ever consciously made in the company of the Padawan, slipped past concealed lips. Elidan would catch a faint flash of embarrassment in the Force, as if the Knight didn't intend for a sliver of the emotion to slip through. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound so preaching,” he signed, amusement clear in his body language.

In Haldir's aloof but patient presence, Elidan would get the feeling that he didn't need to be afraid about doing anything that might annoy the Knight. In fact, the Padawan would clearly feel the same enthusiasm from his Jedi counterpart. He would feel that Haldir was enjoying being in the company of someone who also dabbled in silence despite the differences of the cause of their chosen silence.

“Since we're both reading history holobooks, why do you think we need to study history itself?” he asked the Padawan in return. “Aside from learning about the past, that is, because it's always been a given.”

@LouJoVi

 

[Elidan]

Elidan continued to smile while Haldir answered his question. The Padawan agreed with everything that the Knight had said. In the Padawan's opinion, learning history was important because this way was possible to avoid the errors made in the past.

The Padawan paid close attention to what the Knight said about the Dai Bendu. Haldir's Master seemed to be someone who was also interested in history. He wondered who this person could be. Would the masked man feel offended if he asked? Deciding to ask it, the half-Selphi signed to the man "If you don’t mind me asking, Master Eresseä. Who was your Master? They seem to be someone very wise."

Then he heard a chuckle coming from the Knight. Elidan widened his eyes, it was the first sound that the other made. "You didn’t sound preachy." he signed, while smiling reassuringly. He could feel some embarrassment coming from Haldir through the Force.

The half-Sephi could also feel the excitement that was coming from the Jedi. With it he recognized that not only he was liking this conversation, but Haldir was also appreciating it. It made his nervousness disappear. He was starting to feel comfortable around the Knight.

Haldir's question made the Padawan stop to think about it "Well, I agree with your ideas. I always thought that learning about history is important because we can learn from the errors that were made, this way we can avoid repeating them in the future. Studying the past also allows us to know the events that were responsible for the formation of our civilization. "

"Do you like to read about other things?" he signed to Haldir. Elidan loved reading about several different subjects and he was curious to see if Jedi Knight had other interests.

@Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Haldir Eressëa]

Elidan held a curiosity that might have annoyed someone else, but not Haldir. The Knight was a patient man, and having a younger brother who was years younger than him meant that the half-Sephi's questions were met with equal curiosity and affability. The Padawan was polite and Haldir expected that he would be even after the end of their conversation, so his questions weren't even a bit irritating.

Case in point when the half-Sephi asked about the Arkanian's former Master. A nostalgic smile appeared on Haldir's face, though he only let a sliver of the emotion flash briefly through the Force. He had been working on letting others how he felt, after all, though at large he still mostly kept to himself.

"I don't mind at all, don't worry," he first assured Elidan before giving a moment's pause, thinkng of how best to answer the question. Despite having reconciled after the events of Ajan Kloss, Haldir still felt guilty about previously holding a grudge towards the Morellian for involving himself in the Arkanian's private affairs regarding the then Padawan's family.

"His name is Rudra Severino, a Morellian from the Core Worlds," the Arkanian signed a reply eventually. Another quiet chuckle escaped him. "His age may have given him wisdom but it's always betrayed by his overtly and exceedingly friendly nature. He had retired from the Order, but returned eventually after he lost one of his children."

He didn't know why he had to add that last part. Rarely did he see the Morellian Knight here in the Temple, and from his exploits and experiences the red-haired Jedi should've been a Master by now, but he kept refusing the title and instead focused on working and doing his duties somewhere in the galaxy. Rudra hadn't even taken another Padawan, probably still grieving that his daughter never even became one.

Haldir shifted away from thoughts of his former Master, if only to prevent himself from feeling sad and to spare Elidan having to recount his own experiences on Ajan Kloss despite not knowing yet the Padawan's background. Though Haldir would probably be glad that he didn't mention Ajan Kloss after he and Elidan parted ways.

Small mercies he didn't know he was exhibiting.

The half-Sephi's smile and reassurance made Haldir feel at ease, and he nodded graciously at the younger Jedi with gratitude. He gave the Padawan his full attention, gaze shifting between Elidan's signs and his expression. The half-Sephi gave insightful responses, earning another approving nod from the Arkanian. He hoped the other Padawans were as studious as Elidan. Fighting skills were essential, sure, but there were some Padawans who didn't much value what reading would teach them like Elidan did.

"Very well said," he signed after the half-Sephi finished replying. "You're insightful and intelligent. The other Padawans will surely learn a lot from you."

When Elidan asked him if he liked reading about other things, Haldir visibly perked up, a sure sign that the half-Sephi had asked another right thing. To the Padawan, the Knight probably looked like a loth-cat with its ears pointing upwards in excitement. Almost with a childish glee – something the Knight rarely experienced growing up – Haldir signed too fast to be understood until he caught himself and began at a more sedate pace.

"Yes, very much so. It probably doesn't look like it, but I like literature and – by extension – culture. There are thousands of cultures across the Galaxy, and while some hold similarities others are just plain different. Not to mention literary writing. It's unbelievable how many brilliant writers are out there, whether if they're writing fiction or chronicling historical events and exploring cultural diversities in the Galaxy. I'm also reading up on biology and anatomy since I'm more of a healer than a combatant."

He probably didn't look like it, given how militaristic his usual day-to-day attires were.

"What about you?"

@LouJoVi

 

[Elidan]

Elidan became more calm when Haldir said he didn't mind the Padawan asking questions. If he had seen the man before, the boy would probably be a bit insecure near him. The Knight with the mask seemed to be so mysterious and intimidating. But so far the other Jedi had been kind to him. He could feel affability flowing through the Force, coming from the man.

He smiled when the Knight explained about his Master, a Morellian Jedi called Rudra Severino. By the way that Haldir chuckled, Elidan was certain that Rudra was very dear to him. It made the half-Sephi smile, he wondered if when he had a Master, they would be like that.

However, he became saddened when the masked man mentioned that his Master lost one of his children. Elidan knew that the Jedi Order now was more flexible with attachments, but their life was so dangerous. Even more now with the Sith Empire. They needed to be very careful with their families.

Elidan blushed with the Knight's praises, red spreading through his face and reaching his pointed ears. He rarely received praise. It was so strange to hear that. However, the half-Sephi doubted that he would be able to teach something to the other Padawans, given the difficulty to communicate with them. He decided to not mention it to Haldir.

Haldir's reaction to his question made Elidan smile. The way that the man had signed so fast showed to the Padawan that he was excited. After all, the half-Sephi also does it when he was very interested in a conversation.

"I like to read about everything, from novels to scientific articles. Recently I started to have an interest in the history of the Galactic Republic. This is why I picked this holobook." he signed to the masked man. "I also have some books about biology saved in my Datapad that I plan to read another time. Most are about fauna and flora. Do you like to read about animals and plants?"

The Knight's comment about being more a healer than a combatant, reminded Elidan of how he used to see himself. "I also don't see myself being much useful on a battlefield. Maybe I should learn Force healing at some moment."


@Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Haldir Eressëa]

The Padawan was becoming calmer the longer they talked. That was a good sign that Haldir was doing well in their conversarion. Talking wasn't really the Arkanian's specialty, and his desire to be mostly left alone was deterred by his equal need to learn how to connect to others on more than an acquaintance level.

Haldir could also see Elidan doing really well in their conversation. While doubt shadowed the praise he'd given the half-Sephi earlier, there seemed to be a sense of humility from the young Jedi without him outwardly expressing it. It was even understandable to translate the red on the young one's face denoting something along the lines of embarrassment, hinting that Elidan might not have received well-deserved praises frequently.

The Knight returned the Padawan's smile, glad that the young one was intently paying attention to the Arkanian's replies. In exchange he paid attention as attentively, even motioning for the half-Sephi towards the closest table so the two of them could sit down for the remaining duration of their conversation. They've been standing all this time – it would do the both of them well to each take a seat. He didn't want to make the Padawan feel uncomfortable again.

"I can relate to that," signed the Knight as he moved to sit down, referring to his own datapad and it's storage close to hitting full capacity. Occupying the seat across the half-Sephi, the Arkanian let out an amused huff. "I have books and articles saved for later and further reading, when I get some free time."

As response to Elidan's question, Haldir continued. "I loved Biology as a child, more so Zoology and Botany. I got interested in plants because of one of my cousins who manages my family's garden back in my homeworld. When I was little my brother and I were given a pair of Kiros birds as gifts. We visited Kiros for the sole purpose of releasing the birds back to their natural habitat." A fond, nostalgic chuckle punctuated the tale, Haldir's hands shaking minutely at one of his few happy memories back home. "So, yes. I do like reading about plants and animals, too."

He'd read on an article about socialization that recounting childhood tales in accordance to a subject being discussed helped the conversation going. To Haldir, he also hoped that it would erase whatever first impression Elidan might have of him, given the Arkanian's odd, intimidating appearance and the way he caught the half-Sephi off guard earlier before their conversation even started.

"From what I've learned whenever I'm in the field, no one is truly useless in a battlefield," he advised Elidan. "Unless one makes themself useless on purpose, that is. I may not be your Master, but I encourage you to learn Force healing all the same. If your Master knows how to do it, then you can always ask them. And if they don't, the infirmary has some skilled healers. I learned from them when I was a Padawan."

There were many Padawans who still didn't have a Master of their own, and Haldir didn't assume that Elidan might be one of them.

@LouJoVi

 

[Elidan]

Elidan followed Haldir to one of the nearby tables. The half-Sephi was so interested in their conversation that he only noticed now that they were still standing. He couldn’t believe that he had found a Jedi Knight that seemed to be so similar to him. The mutism and the interest for reading. Apart from the use of the mask, the boy could see himself becoming a Jedi like the man when he became an adult.

The boy noticed that Haldir’s hand shaked a bit when he explained the story of the Kiros birds. Due to the man’s face being covered by a mask, Elidan was unsure if the shaking hands were due to nervousness or sadness. Although the chuckle that he heard coming from the Knight seemed to demonstrate that he appreciated this memory.

It was indeed something good. Haldir and his father seemed to be close to each other. Were things like that which made Elidan think who could be his father. Even though he grew up in the Jedi Temple and the Order was his family, the Padawan still had some curiosity in knowing more about this part of his past. He also wanted to know if the pendant that he had since he was left as a baby in the orphanage on Chardaan had any meaning.

“I still don’t have a Master, but I’ll talk with one of the Healers. I learned that Force healing is a very useful ability..” he answered the Knight. The Padawan really needed to find one soon, even with him learning bits of knowledge from several different Jedi, if he wanted to become a Knight, Elidan would still need to find a Master.

“How was your time as a Padawan?” Elidan signed to Haldir, curious to know if it was similar to how it’s for him. He wondered if the masked man had his same problems in making friends and how some of the other children thought that he was strange because he didn’t speak. There was even rumors about the reasons for his mutism, some very bizarre.

@Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Haldir Eressëa]

Face concealed by the black bandages that served primarily as a mask, the light frown that crossed Haldir's face was perfectly hidden as he pondered about the Padawan before him. The half-Sephi had yet to find a Master. He could see that the young man seated across him was eager to find one, as with most of the Padawans who have yet to find a Master. The Arkanian Knight knew that Jedi of his rank were technically given free rein to take in more than one Padawan under their wing, but given Haldir's social awkwardness and his reputation as a loner, he couldn't easily provide Elidan the option to consider being a Padawan learner under his tutelage.

With Willa – a more experienced Padawan close to Knighthood – as his Padawan, Haldir knew that he would have to adjust the teaching styles he used on her when it came to overseeing Elidan's own progress. And while he had no reason to doubt the half-Sephi's skills and eagerness to learn, the Knight felt a little apprehensive when it came to bringing the young man with him and Willa off-world for training. He wondered if the young man would be able to handle being in the presence of a much larger crowd than he was used to.

The Knight shook the thought off, mentally chiding himself for overthinking. Ever since he'd taken a Padawan to teach, he had been prone to doing that a lot. Knowing that it might cost him one day, Haldir allowed himself to peruse one thought at a time – he focused on the present, concealed gaze settling on the half-Sephi before him. He didn't know nor would presume to know that other Knights were versed in sign language, and looking logically at all the evidences laid out before him Haldir came at the top of the list of Knights or Masters who was able to converse with Elidan as easy as breathing given their selective mutism. However, it didn't automatically mean that he would be the perfect Master for the half-Sephi.

Too many factors.

He was overthinking again.

But there was something else he could do for Elidan, and Haldir readily took both opportunity and responsibility to voice it out. He was determined to teach the next generation of Knights of the Order, after all.

"I've learned from the old Healers back in my days as a Padawan," he began, hands steadier than earlier. "I know that they won't turn you away, but whenever it gets busy in the medbay know that I can help teach you as well. Force healing is one of my specialties."

The offer was sincere, but in the end it was up to the Padawan if he would want the Arkanian's help.

Elidan's next question brought an honest to goodness smile on Haldir's face. The half-Sephi's curious nature was as endearing as Hasebe's, the Knight's little brother. Instead of dredging up unsavory memories of his parents and clan, Haldir only remembered the freedom he felt under the guidance and friendship offered by his former Master. He'd felt Elidan's sadness earlier when Haldir briefly mentioned the death of Rudra's youngest. Haldir was not one to instantly like someone on first meeting, but Elidan was proving to be one of the very few exceptions.

He was a good kid.

"It was both challenging and fulfilling. I was, in a way, a sheltered child, so imagine my confusion and apprehension when I was brought to the Order. I couldn't speak to other Padawans, and my strange appearance and behavior – my masks and my selective mutism – tended to push them away rather than draw them in. They called me a loner, a weird and aloof student, a mute. I wasn't able to make many friends, but found very few who were willing to hang around with me."

One of the things that threw his fellow Padawans off was Haldir's constant use of his Master's voice even when answering simple yes or no questions. An adult's voice coming out of a child was creepy, but he didn't bother telling Elidan that one bit of information, thinking that it might only confuse the Padawan. And of course confusion would only lead to more questions, and Haldir wasn't in the mood to talk about his clan's rigid rules.

"My Master had a hard time speaking to me at first because I tended to keep to myself most of the times. He taught me telepathy to better communicate with him, and in turn he asked me to teach him sign language. It was a give and take kind of teaching that he used on me, and we learned from each other. But of course, my Master gave more than I could at the time, and while he's a kind and gentle soul he never went easy on me. He made me go through hell with his teachings and training, and I'm still grateful that he did so. There are many kind people in the galaxy, he taught me, but for every good person there also is a bad one. He taught me to be kind, but he also taught me to be firm. Kindness can only do so much. It's also necessary to be hard on people sometimes."

Sometimes he wished he could go back to those days, but Haldir knew that the present mattered more. It was the people of the present who needed him, not the past.

"I hope you don't mind me asking, but why don't you have a Master yet?"

The half-Sephi's mutism couldn't be the sole reason. Maybe it was the will of the Force? Maybe it was the Force's way of telling the young man to be patient, that the right Master for him was on their way to find him?

@LouJoVi

 

[Elidan]

After hearing Haldir’s offer, Elidan smiled. It already became normal for him to learn Force abilities from several different Jedi. Asking a Healer to teach him Force healing would not be something so difficult to do. He knew that his therapist, Asadra Seh, was good with it. Perhaps he could ask her to teach him. However, the half-Sephi still felt grateful that the masked man offered help with it. “I’ll ask them. I know a Healer that can help me. But thank you for offering your help.”

The boy paid close attention to what Haldir said about his time as a padawan. It wasn’t so different from what Elidan’s life became after what happened on Ajan Kloss. The way that the Knight described how other Padawans acted around him was exactly what the half-Sephi suffered most of the time. It made him feel sympathy for the masked man.

When Haldir mentioned that he had selective mutism, Elidan’s eyes widened. It was exactly what he also had! The knowledge that there was another person at the Order that was like him, made the Padawan happy. He wasn’t alone anymore! Of course, he had Asadra and Zana, but they weren’t mute. They didn’t know or understand how it was for him to live with this condition.

Since Haldir told him how his time as a Padawan was, Elidan felt that he should tell how his life was. “I became part of the Order when I was three years old. Before that, I lived at an orphanage on Chardaan since I was a baby. I grew up on Ajan Kloss, where I had some friends. I was always shy, but I could still speak with them.” now came the part that he didn’t like to remember. “I saw things during the Sith attack at the Temple that made my shyness become worse and I developed selective mutism.” it was the best that he could reveal to the masked man. For his own sake, he didn’t want to enter in details. The way that his ears flattened a bit would show how uncomfortable he already was. “Since then, I can’t say one word.”

The man’s question made Elidan think. Why he still doesn’t have a master? He never had thought about what the reasons could be. Maybe it was because of his mutism, or because he never went around hunting for someone that could teach him. “I don’t know.” he signed to the man. He had no idea about it.

“How did you find your Master? Did he choose you?” Elidan asked. Since Haldir also had selective mutism, the hal-Sephi could use the way that he found his Master as an example to try to search for his own.


@Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Haldir Eressëa]

While his offer wasn't overtly turned down, Haldir felt that Elidan would be more comfortable learning from someone he knew on a personal level. It was their first meeting, and he would never hold it against the Padawan if the latter knew for himself that he would learn better from someone who knew him and whom he knew in return. The half-Sephi freely expressed his gratitude towards the Arkanian's offer, and that was more than enough for Haldir.

The Padawan was an open book to the Knight, and while Haldir would've disapproved if they weren't in the Temple – if they were out in the open where someone could easily take advantage of Elidan for being an easy read – he kept the thought closely to himself. There was no reason to be overly cautious within the safety of these ancient halls, and so he chose to find amusement in the way Elidan's eyes widened at Haldir's mention of his own selective muteness. Since the Padawan was being open with his emotions and expressions, the Knight decided that it was only fair that Elidan would be given a more physical view of Haldir's own – even though if the young Jedi would only be literally seeing half of it.

With careful movements, Haldir unwound the lower half of the bandages that covered his face. A portion that covered his hair fell off, revealing snow-white locks. What remained of the bandages were left covering the upper half of his face – from the bridge of his nose up to his forehead.

Haldir listened attentively to the brief telling of Elidan's story. He could offer no real opinion about the half-Sephi's state as an orphan, not when the young Jedi seemed to have found people to call family here in the Order. But still, he felt that the half-Sephi might be harboring a desire to know who his parents ere and where he truly came from. There were countless orphans like him throughout the galaxy, but that didn't make his situation any less sad. Haldir might not have been in good terms with his parents, but even he himself knew that he was luckh that he still had both of them.

At the mention of the Sith attack on Ajan Kloss, Elidan would see the corners of the Arkanian's lips turn down in contempt. During his days as a Padawan Haldir was taught that the Sith were destitute creatures, enslaved to the powers the Dark Side of the Force offered. At first he thought that they were a group of beings to be pitied, until he'd witnessed what atrocities the Dark Siders could willingly commit. Still he felt somewhat indifferent – free will gave sentients the ability to choose for themselves. And besides, he was taught by his family to never form any sort of attachments towards outsiders and their plight. The Erennors were to be neutral outside their walled home in Arkania. They were to serve the Sector Rangers as shadows, as assets to deliver justice. The deaths – no, the massacre on Ajan Kloss had warped Haldir's perception towards the Sith. The loss of Rudra's daughter had affected the Arkanian more than he would ever let on.

He'd promised Muse that she would be his first Padawan when he returned to the Jedi Order, but before any of that could happen one of the Sith murdered her during the attack on Ajan Kloss.

Seeing a survivor before him further warped his perception towards the Sith.

"You didn't deserve what you've experienced that fateful day on Ajan Kloss," he told the Padawan at length. "No one does, for that matter. You've lost friends, family, your voice... my former Master lost his child. I lost a little girl who was supposed to be my first Padawan. I have no right to tell you that we should simply deal with the cards lent to us, because saying them anyway felt like the height of hypocrisy imposed upon myself."

"The tragedy on Ajan Kloss is something you didn't deserve."

He was talking to Elidan, but his words applied to all who suffered from that attack.

The half-Sephi's response to the Arkanian's question held honest confusion. Elidan was quick to ask about the process of how Haldir and Rudra became Master and Padawan, and for a half moment the Arkanian pursed his lips in thought. It wasn't difficult to ascertain what Elidan might be seeking by asking specific questions.

Gloved fingers tapped silently on the table's surface before the Knight began to answer.

"He wasn't the Jedi who introduced me to the Order," he began, referring to his former Master. "But he found me alone in the library days after my arrival and subsequent induction. My silence and appearance piqued his interest, but at first it wasn't enough to make him consider taking me in as an apprentice. I didn't speak, and he didn't know sign language back then. We weren't exactly an immediate match back then. But in the end we became Master and Padawan. He didn't just choose me – we chose each other. It was a mutual agreement. We have nothing in common, but we realized that our differences let us learn from each other. And despite those differences, we held each other in high regard. We relied on each other."

He offered Elidan a smile and an advice. "Maybe the Force is telling you to be patient, that your Master is on their way to find you. But remember that you also have the right to choose your own Master as much as the Masters have the right to choose their Padawan."

@LouJoVi

 

[Elidan]

Elidan’s eyes widened when he saw Haldir start to remove the part of the bandages that covered his face. The Padawan didn’t expect the other to do it. Since he met the man early, he was curious about why the Jedi used it. Several hypotheses crossed his mind, from him being so important that he needed to maintain his appearance as a secret to him having a disfigured face.

However, now he could say that the disfigured hypothesis wasn’t true. In what Haldir revealed from his face, Elidan didn’t identify any scar or wound. Now, he was even more curious to know why the man used the mask, but he would not ask. It would be very impolite of him to do it.

The half-Sephi was someone very curious, always interested in discovering things. However, he also respected the secrets of others and liked to consider himself as someone very polite. This way, he decided to respect Haldir. If the Jedi wanted, he would tell him why he used the mask.

Elidan smiled at Haldir, grateful for his words. However, he still has some doubts about what happened on Ajan Kloss. Why did he survive the massacre, while his friends died? Asadra used to say that it was due to the will of the Force.

Haldir’s answer to his question made the Padawan think about it. He needed to trust more on the will of the Force. If he was still alive because of it, then he needed to believe that it would guide him to a Master. Maybe someone like Haldir. Not necessarily someone with selective mutism, but someone that could understand him like the Jedi Knight did.

“I’ll wait and see what the Force wants.” he signed to Haldir. It was the best that he could do. “Do you have some type of favourite food?” Elidan asked. It was a silly question, but the half-Sephi had decided to change topics of this conversation. He didn’t want to talk much about his future as a Jedi, one that he was afraid of not being able to fulfil.

@Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Haldir Eressëa]

Haldir couldn't help but chuckle lightly in amusement when he felt Elidan's curiosity bled through the Force. It wasn't surprising given that the Knight had already established that the Padawan possessed a curious nature, and based from the look of surprise on the half-Sephi's face as he watched the Arkanian partially unmask himself. He decided that he liked that about Elidan – the Padawan's open and honest curiosity about many things.

Another trait was the young man's politeness. Haldir had glimpsed the beginnings of a question even if the half-Sephi didn't ask them, the curiosity as to why the Knight needed to wear the mask. But the Padawan showed restraint and politeness, letting the matter drop. There was respect thrown in there as well. Elidan might not know it, but Haldir now held the half-Sephi with high regard. The Padawan was a really good kid.

And the Galaxy needed more kind people like Elidan.

The Knight reciprocated the Padawan's smile, the upward curve of the corners of his lips holding the same warmth he gave his own Padawan and loved ones.

"There will come the one who truly understands you, Elidan," he assured the Padawan, warm smile still on his partially covered face. And even as Haldir caught a slight tinge of doubt through the Force after Elidan had asked him yet another question, Haldir's smile didn't vanish.

Everyone had thought about their future at some point, and the Knight was no different. Still, he respected Elidan's silence about whatever doubt and fear the Padawan might be harboring because it wasn't his business, and instead focused on the half-Sephi's light-hearted question.

"As a child I have been taught not to be picky, so the general answer to that is that I don't really have a preference. As long as it's edible and tasted fine, then I'm alright with that. However," another chuckle slipped past Haldir's lips, his conversation with Elidan making him relaxed that he failed to notice one of the female Archivists passing by then gawking at the Knight. She hid out of sight immediately so even Elidan wouldn't notice her anymore, before quietly but frantically gesturing at another female Archivist and sweeping a hand towards the partially masked Arkanian like a lovestruck fan girl.

"Ever since I came to the Order, my former Master had a habit of cooking food and treating me whenever we're on a mission. He's fond of giving me spicy and sweet food until I've developed a taste for them both." The Knight tilted his head to the side rather thoughtfully. "During one of our missions in Tatooine, Master gave me an ahrisa and told me that it was sweet. I knew he was lying, but I ate it nonetheless. I liked it, surprisingly."

With another smile, he decided to ask the Padawan the same thing. "Now I like sweet and spicy foods. Even if those flavors are mixed up. What about you?" The Knight even added, "Do you know how to cook? It's a vital skill, like being able to fight well or heal others."

@LouJoVi

 

[Elidan]

Haldir words were comforting. It made Elidan have hope that he would find a Master that would understand him. After what the Knight told him about his relationship with his own Master, the Padawan thought that it would be wonderful if he also had found someone that could interact with him this way too.

He smiled at Haldir. This talk with the Knight was showing to him that he couldn’t become desperate and should trust in the will of the Force. The individual who was going to be his Master would appear, he only needed to have patience.

While the Knight talked about food, Elidan thought that they also had that in common. The Padawan also was never someone to pick with food. Having lived some years at an orphanage, he needed to eat everything that was given to him. If he refused because he disliked it, the boy would end up spending the day hungry. After all, an orphanage wasn’t a place with a great diversity of food.

However, after he joined the Jedi Order, Elidan could taste different types of food. It was more diverse than what he ate at the orphanage, and more tasty too. " When I lived at the orphanage, I could only eat porridge and soup. It was the food that was served to the children everyday. It wasn’t bad, only repetitive. When I joined the Order, I ate different types of food and learned that my favorites are sweets and spicy fried tip-yip. I never tasted ahrisa."

Elidan was uncertain about how he should answer the other question. Since he rarely left the Temple, he never really needed to cook. "I learned how to do it in a class, but never made it. Since I rarely leave the Temple, there isn’t a reason for me to cook. I think that the only thing that I would be able to make are eggs and rice." he smiled. At least it would be enough to nourish him in a mission. It wasn’t the place for a full course meal.

Since the Knight had asked if he knew how to cook, Elidan had decided that now was his time to make a question. "What type of food are you used to cooking?"

@Forsythe Crowholde