Ask [Mon Cala Surface] Rehabilitation

[Hailee Lightwood]

Due to the hyperspace jump, it only took them very few days to reach their first destination. Hailee had slept through the first day and once she woke, she spent quite some time gathering the Force to heal herself as best as possible. It was exhausting, but in the end she felt much better.

She left her cabin, wanting to find Silex, but her stomach was already hurting from its emptiness and so she had decided to grab a quick snack in the kitchen area first. She was well aware of the fact that the food on the ship would be far from satisfying, but at least they had enough supplies to survive. They would soon land anyway. She assumed that she might bump into Silex in the kitchen, but she wasn't sure and didn't bother to reach out with the Force to sense her. She felt too drained, so she thought she might eventually find her anyway.

@Reylo4evr

 

[Silex Tan]

Silex had slept in the pilot's seat, dozing off when she could. The past few months, she had not gotten very good sleep. Except for that first night after the Force had been stripped, after Kashyyyk- she slept for three straight days. Now, it was as if she had slept herself out and could no longer remember how to do it anymore. She was awake in the cockpit, watching the stars streak by as they neared the end of their hyperspace travel.

She heard Hailee get up and shuffle around in the kitchen area. She was still and did not react. She knew Hailee was likely to find anything exquisitely delightful; all there was were simple ration packets to mix with water. Not delicious and not filling for long. They really needed materials. Which was why when she jumped out of hyperspace, Mon Cala filled the viewport. The planet was a beautiful shade of blue that seemed to glow against the blackness of space. Silex had been told once by someone that her hair was as black as space, her skin as white as the stars, and her eyes as blue as Mon Cala. It had been a compliment once but now it slid through her head and piled in her gut like gelatinous goo.

She stood up and stretched. She herself had not healed very well since Kashyyyk; there were still faint red splotches on her arms, legs and neck that suggested a burn might have once been there. Her face was largely unscathed, merely a scar on her chin. She almost wished she had been more marred; not as a reminder of Kashyyyk but more to stop herself from remembering something else.

She walked into the kitchen area, pausing in the threshold, leaning against the frame. "We are coming up on Mon Cala. When we land at the space port, we will refuel and get repairs. We can stop for drinks if you'd like," she suggested, purely for Hailee's benefit. Silex was not a fan of drinks and did not want anyone to recognize her. Technically, she had been put in the charge of the FWA, and did not yet know whether they planned on personally punishing her for Kashyyyk.

She adjusted her large black shawl, just a shade lighter than her hair. She pulled the hood over her head and breathed in, feeling some semblance of comfort at the soft, gentle warmth it provided, and the smell. The smell that she couldn't seem to get out of it, no matter how many times she washed it. It smelled like something undefinable, almost masculine. This was the one thing she didn't wish to erase him from. She could not give a reason why, but especially now, it filled the empty pit inside of her where the Force had been.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

Once inside the kitchen, she looked around for something to eat and yet nothing in particular. Of course all she found were some plain rations, but it was clearly better than nothing. She opened the first bag she could find and mixed it appropriately before starting to consume the grey mass. Her thoughts were still spinning, that was probably why she didn't notice that Silex was already approaching, but she could at least still keep herself from jumping once she spied her silhouette in the door frame.

"Good morning", she welcomed her with a warm smile as it was actually a delight to see her face this morning. For the last view month, all she saw was him and that was clearly someone she wanted to forget as soon as possible. "That sounds fair enough. We should probably get some supplies as well, depending on where we are going next. Drinks...I dont know. I feel like I need another nap after all this healing" she admitted with a grin before she forced another gulp of the ration down. Hailee realized that someone was bothering Silex again, but she still felt like she wasn't in the position to ask her such personal questions. Maybe, once their journey would continue, they would open up stepnby step. For now, it felt like it was okay to have a few secrets.

@Reylo4evr

 

[Silex Tan]

Silex nodded as Hailee spoke. She looked much better today. Silex spoke, erasing her thoughts. "I will pick up the supplies then, and you can rest some more," she replied. She gave Hailee a small smile and nodded, before lowering the ramp and departing, raising the ramp after her. She went into the small market fronts in the ship port on the surface of Mon Cala. It was quite stormy, and Silex was glad her hood was up. The markets were sparsely populated and it did not take her long to bargain with the vendors to get good supplies for cheap. She could tell they just want to get out of the sporadic rain and return below to the bottom of the ocean where it was calmer.

She returned about an hour later, medical supplies and better quality food in a pack on her back under her shawl. She lowered the ramp and raised it again behind her. With the click shut, the sound of the rain was shut out. Hailee was nowhere to be found and Silex wondered if it had been such a good idea to leave Hailee here alone. "Hailee?" she said into the quiet ship.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

At first she wanted to offer coming with her, but she could feel that the exhaustion would only hold her back and slow Silex down. That's why she nodded slightly, while finishing the bowl of the ration. [COLOR=rgb(255, 192, 20203"Okay, but take care. This planet is supposed to be safe but you never know. And thank you, Silex. You did a lot for me"[/COLOR] she replied gratefully, a warm but slightly tired smile on her lips. Once she was done tidings the kitchen, she made her way towards the cabin. She laid down, closing her eyes, trying to relax, but sleep never came. Instead she was resting, which was also nice.

Out of a sudden, however, Hailee felt this strange pull of the Force. She sat up, wondering what it could be, but she couldn't make any sense out of it. She leaned back, letting herself down on the mattress again, but this intense feeling reoccurred, even stronger than before. She sat up, wanting to get herself some water, but this Force pull didn't stop. She got up and closed her eyes, remembering what the Jedi had taught her and entered this meditative state of mind, but once she opened her eyes, she couldn't grasp what she was seeing. Him. Ronan. She could suddenly see him quite clear, laying outstretched in a dim lit room, half naked already while a woman freed him of his pants. The worst of all: She knew this woman. She had seen her before. The memory struck her like a lightning. This was the exact same woman which had pulled her into the abyss in one of her nightmares on Moraband.

Moraband. The thought of this planet alone let an icy shiver ran down her spine. She had tried to suppress all memories, but they suddenly came back all at once. She breathed hard, trying to escape that weird situation, but it was as though she was frozen in the spot next to this bed. Was this just a dream? She tried to turn her head and avert her gaze, but it felt as though she was paralyzed. She wanted to scream, but she couldn't even open her mouth and out of a sudden she was back in her room. She felt the wrath. She felt angrier than she had ever felt before, and this time, she couldn't hold her emotions back...

Her heart was pounding in her chest and she felt this raging heat flaring up. Instinctively, she grabbed his saber and illuminated the blade, wanting to slash at the nearest object, but she could hold herself back in the last moment. However, the darkness had already crept inside her. Suddenly she felt cold and everything seemed to fade into darkness. "NO!" she screamed desperately, switching off the saber before throwing it against the nearby wall. She stumpled backwards, landing on the bed, her nails digging inside she sheets while she forced herself to shut her emotions off. She couldn't descend into the darkness. Not anymore. She was free. Free of him, free of Moraband. And yet she felt a kind of wrath she had never felt before. She wanted to escape that state, and yet she couldn't do it on her own. He would pay for everything he did to her. He was the one leading her away from the Light and now he was also proving it once again. He was the worst person she had ever met.

@Reylo4evr

 

[Silex Tan]

Silex jumped when she heard a shout from Hailee's room. She dropped her bag and jogged to the girl's room to make sure she was alright. She saw Hailee bending over the mattress, breathing hard, her lightsaber resting across the room. She placed a hand on Hailee's back, wishing she could sense what was wrong with the Force. "Hailee," she said softly. "Hailee look at me," she continued. She was stubbornly calm, which was strange for her.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

No matter how much she tried, she couldn't get rid of that terrible, heartbreaking image. She hated to admit it, but she felt betrayed. The way they had separated was far from pleasant and he had even betrayed her back then by not stepping in when her master attacked her, but this was worse. She wished she could just erase the last months from her memory, so that she could be actually free. But she was still in that difficult position. He had pushed her on the brink of the abyss and she would still have to escape herself.

She couldn't perceive anything happening around her. She was so consumed by her emotions that she didn't even hear or sense Silex approach again. She jumped a little when she felt something on her back, outstretched her hand to summon the lightsaber back in her hand, but fortunately she kept herself from activating it as she was suddenly back in the reality.

"Oh...Silex. I am sorry...I have no idea what had just happened, but I couldn't think straight" she was shaking, being completely honest and yet slightly cloaking the truth. She was glad that she was back and she didn't want to imagine what would have happened if she hadn't come.

@Reylo4evr

 

[Silex Tan]

Silex felt relieved when Hailee came back to herself, despite calling her lightsaber to her hand. "Maybe it would be time to get drinks?" she suggested, once more for Hailee's benefit rather than hers. Although, it would be nice to forget some of her own memories for a while. "I saw a cantina near the marketplace. It's likely still raining though," she added. She wondered if this was how Edaara had felt, finding her and taking her in. She had an inexplicable feeling that she and Hailee were more similar than they thought.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

She slightly shook her head, rubbing her temples with the palms of her hands, still trying to calm down. She swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the wrath that was still building up. "Actually, yes. Drinks sound perfect" she replied confidently after she had clearer her throat. How could he have gotten under her skin? She hated herself for it. She even hated herself for everything that had happened between them. She just wanted to forget it all so badly. "Rain is fine with me. I don't care if you don't" she added harsher than intended. She didn't want to come across that way, but it was hard to focus. Maybe alcohol would indeed help. She forced herself to a weak smile, but it wasn't very effective.

@Reylo4evr

 

[Silex Tan]

Silex nodded, stepping back and giving the girl space. She led the way back out off the ship, pulling her hood up again. It was a short walk to the cantina she had noted and once they were inside, she sat down at the bar, and ordered a cup of caf. She turned to Hailee. She knew talking had always helped her in the past; might as well try it with the woman before her. "Wanna talk about it?" she asked, picking up her mug of caf, letting the warmth seep into her hands. She would understand if they weren't at that stage yet.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

She hated herself for not being able to control it, but she couldn't calm down. She repedeatly told herself that he wasn't worth all that wrath and yet it was eating her up from the inside. Closing her eyes for another second, she was hoping to be able to push all the memories away, but once she re-opened her eyes, to her vision was still tainted by her anger.
She had noticed that Silex was already waiting outside and so she forced herself to breathe through and get going as well. Even though she was trying to remind herself of regaining balance, she knew that a few drinks would make her mind foggy enough to be a much needed distraction.

She caught up with Silex, but she remained silent until they were seated in the cantina, where she immediately ordered a strong, hard liquor, which she immediately began to gulp down. She knew that this was an extremely toxic coping mechanism, but she assumed that getting drunk might be the only possible way to stay sane by forgetting about everything. "Maybe tomorrow. Right now I feel like a distraction would be better" she replied with a hint of desperation in her voice, before downing her first drink and ordering a second one. "Tell me something: On which planet were you born?". Since she couldn't come up with a meaningful, yet distracting topic, she thought that simple smalltalk would be the best.

@Reylo4evr

 

[Silex Tan]

Silex took a sip of her caf, and couldn't help the sigh she released as it warmed her insides. Her mind cleared; while it seemed Hailee did not want a clear mind at all. "Felucia," she answered Hailee's question. "I was an honorary princess until... until it was taken over by the Sith," she replied, leaving a small yet important detail out. "What about you?" she continued, turning the topic to Hailee. She didn't even know if Hailee would be able to answer her with a clear head.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

Once her drinknwas emptied, she ordered another one. This was also something he had taught her and she hated him for that as well. Getting drunk didn't solve any problems, but it was some sort of escape from reality and that was much needed right know, regardless of how much she hated it. The wrath was abating while she was starting to feel a little loopy. Whether this was a good thing or a mistake was not yet fully clear. Taking another sip, she redirected her gaze at Silex. "A princess?" she repeated in disbelief, her eyes widened. That was...interesting and yet horrible. If the Sith had taken over the planet, this surely meant that her past wasn't easy either. Maybe they were much more similar than she had thought. Her thoughts were spinning anyway and why she tried to formulate an answer, a handsome stranger in the back of the cantina had caught her attention. "I grew up on Corellia. My childhood wasn't a blast" she responded curtly, her mind drifting off. A very stupid idea was beginning to form inside her head...

@Reylo4evr

 

[Silex Tan]

The caf was warming Silex up, and she felt pity for Hailee- rather than the cold numbness she had grown used to. She followed the woman's gaze to a man in the corner. She looked back at Hailee, and wondered what she was thinking. Once again, she was curious what she had been through. Hailee seemed to be angry almost all the time, and alcohol didn't seem to be helping. "What happened on Moraband?" she asked softly.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

As Silex changed the topic rather fast, not asking more questions about her childhood, Hailee assumed that she was still curious about the most recent events. But she couldn't stay focused anyway. Her gaze shifted from the exiled Jedi to the stranger again, and then back at Silex. Maybe it was dumb that she even had those thoughts, but she felt like she could make herself feel much better by pursuing a very stupid idea. "Mistakes. A series of mistakes happened on Moraband and before that, nothing more" she plainly responded before getting up. Staggering, she placed a hand on Silex' arm. "I will be riiiight back", she informed her. She knew that if she wanted this to work, she would have to be prepared. She wanted him to see everything. Just like she had to witness it all.

@Reylo4evr

 

[Silex Tan]

Silex set down her mug when Hailee stood up and walked towards the stranger she had been eyeing earlier. She opened and closed her mouth, and stood up, still staying by the bar. Her newly warm muscles tensed, preparing to act should something happen. She had no idea what Hailee could be up to- she might take out her anger on some poor unsuspecting stranger.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

She concentrated hard, which was ironic, because normally, the thing she was planing to do wouldn't require concentration. The eyes of the stranger rested on her and she immediately forgot that she was here with Silex. "Can I help you, young lady?", the human, dark-haired stranger greeted her a little suprised, but he was indeed smirking. She tried to keep herself as best as she could, letting herself glide into the chair across from him as elegantly as possible. "It's been a rough day and I might need a little distraction" she replied quite directly, the alcohol clouding her senses enough to make her forget her conscience or moral, that might have been holding her back otherwise. "Oh, a distraction you say? Guess i can help with that", he replied, his smirk widening. Perfect. That was enough consent for her. She pushed herself to her feet again, swinging herself on top of him, immediately bringing her lips to meet his. He was suprised, but didn't resist at all. On the contrary, he even reciprociated her kiss as passionately as herself, but now began the difficult part: Focusing enough concentration to have Ronan feel what she is feeling. Truth was, this kiss didn't feel right at all, but she forced herself to believe it, trying to activate as many emotions as possible, to have him watch. He had broken her, now it was time for her to return the favor.

@Reylo4evr

 

[Ronan Carduel]

Ronan was storming away from the ballroom on Serenno when his vision suddenly went dark. He stumbled to the side, falling against the wall. The pain in his shoulder faded when an image slowly appeared in his head. Hailee. It was Hailee. And she was sitting on the lap of some guy, kissing him as if there was no tomorrow. Her emotions felt weak, but perhaps that was from the distance. Anger surged inside him and he wondered why he was so angry at her when he himself had just left a girl in a bedroom.

As quickly as it had come, the vision disappeared and Ronan came back to himself- very hungover and very angry. He cursed and ignited his master's saber, slashing at the wall. He stopped when couples came out of rooms, eyeing him warily before skittering away. How dare they. How dare she.

He needed to find her. Immediately.

@LadyRen

 

[Hailee Lightwood]

She wouldn't stop, no matter how much she was disgusted by herself...by kissing this random stranger just to prove a point, or what was she even doing here? She tried to focus hard, but it was really exhausting, especially because it didn't even feel great at all, but out of a sudden, she felt a faint, yet familiar dark presence. It must have been him. It couldn't have been any different. Immediately, she stopped, pulling herself back, but the man that was definitely older than her didn't think of stopping what she had started. He pulled her close, but she wouldn't let him. She Force pushed him away, not giving a damn about using the Force anyway. It was extremely draining, since her brain was completely foggy, but she was free after all and staggered back in the direction of Silex. "Let's go" she urged her hastily, expecting that this stranger wouldn't be exactly pleased with that situation. It was better of they got out of there fast, also because she expected Ronan might have sensed where she was and this meant that they had to get moving.

@Reylo4evr

 

[Silex Tan]

To say she was surprised was an understatement. "What the hell?" she said, when Hailee finally broke away. She marched next to her outside and back onto her ship. She didn't wait for an answer as she entered the cockpit and lifted off, leaving the atmosphere. Once they were in space, she turned back to Hailee. "We are not going anywhere else until you explain what the hell just happened," she said, knowing she might not get a clear answer out of the partially drunk woman in front of her.

@LadyRen