He didn't want to leave Clove and Ruuzan, but he had to. As much as he wanted to deny Haldir Eressëa's words, there's just no way refuting the truth – Arctus mental state was descending in a downward spiral, and had he stayed he would have only dragged his friends down with him.
The former smuggler knew that his continued struggle with the Dark Side was getting more and more of a liability the longer he remaine unable to control it. He was lucky that seeing Clove and Misha's defiled corpse hadn't outright sent him into a rage state. Ruzaan was lucky he didn't see what Arctus was capable of when blinded by anger. Clove was lucky to be unconscious, though the former smugglef wouldn't discount the fact that she – like Ruzaan – felt his emotions through the Force. He knew that his friends were aware that there was a certain Darkness to him, and while it was enough cause to tell them what afflicted him Arctus still felt the sharp sting of shame as he remembered what had transpired when he first met Ruzaan, his anger on Bal'Demnic, his meltdown in Drastus's potluck...
The Padawan shook the thoughts off, opting to focus on the present as he and the Knight warily approached the northern hall. The Sith and their troops have retreated already but he didn't dare question the Arkanian's need for caution. Arctus himself was still armed with a blaster, and despite Knight Eressëa's unreadableness through the Force the younger Jedi's body language was – for the first time since he met the latter – clear as day.
The pair traversed the hall and found no signs of the Younglings and their supposed protectors.
He didn't know why, but dread began to form in the pit of his stomach. Arctus felt agitated for reasons unknown as he and the Knight followed the path that led them outside the Temple. He found himself trying to catch up with the Arkanian's hurried footsteps, masked gaze lowered to the tracks on the earth. The Knight came to an abrupt stop and took one glove off, revealing an ivory hand that hovered over particular sets of tracks.
"Fuck."
The expletive made Arctus flinch, rather, the surprise upon hearing the stoic and proper Knight curse. As if on cue the bushes a few feet to their left rustled until a pair of terrified Togruta Younglings shot out from their hiding place to run towards Arctus, crying. The Padawan met them halfway, falling to his knees and quickly wrapping the twins in his arms as they wept and wailed in a mix of fear and relief. Arctus tried his hardest not to give in to his own tears just yet as he attempted to calm the twins.
"If it ain't the naughty Heleel boys," commented the former smuggler with as much cheer as he could muster, so as to try to soothe the crying siblings. He understood their terror because he felt them. "You boys hidin' in the bushes? Me and Knight Eressëa didn't notice you at all! Where are the rest of them ankle biters?"
Gods, he was older than Haldir Eressëa but here Arctus Friers was, looking up at the Knight who was now standing over the three and silently asking for the Arkanian's help to pacify the twins. None came, save for that same impassive gaze of the Knight's vulpine mask. Haldir Eressëa instead placed a hand on each Togrutas' head. The twins shifted in Arctus's hold to look up at the Arkanian, their bodies still wracked with unrestrained sobs as they clutched at Arctus's blast vest as if their very lives depended on it.
As if the former smuggler would fade away of they so much as let him go.
"Will you show me?" the Knight requested, falling down on one knee in front of Arctus and his kids.
"Show you what?" Arctus asked, dread rising from the pit of his stomach up to his lungs. He glanced between the Knight and the twins anxiously. "Covro? Covrar? Show him what? Won't you tell me?"
The twins simply nodded at the Arkanian's request, dark eyes closing as they sought refuge in Arctus's broad chest. He felt the children tremble as soon as Haldir lowered his masked gaze, and the former smuggler began to panic when the Knight tensed, breaths becoming uneven as Covro and Covrar started to cry again.
Arctus felt so left out despite being the rock that supported the twins. He felt so useless as the twins showed what Haldir asked of them. He wished to be a part of what was happening, and he couldn't help but curse his own lack of training and learning the skills and powers the Light Side of the Force were said to afford him. Before he could lose control of his anger once again the former smuggler reined it in, taking deep breaths to calm himself. His anger didn't help Ruzaan earlier and it wouldn't help Haldir and the twins now.
The Knight pulled his hands away from the twins a moment later and rose back to his feet. He looked away, hands clenching and unclenching as he marched towards the nearest tree and slammed a fist against the thick trunk, startling the birds perched upon its branches.
Whatever the twins showed the Knight, it was far from good news.
"Boys," he gently coaxed the twins, rubbing a hand each on their backs in a comforting manner. "Can you tell me what you've shown Knight Eressëa?"
They didn't need to get to the gist of it, as the Knight punched again the tree trunk and weakly spat out,
"Many Younglings were taken by Sith. The twins saw them, and by some miracle they managed to stay hidden–"
Arctus blinked, the revelation not sinking in just yet as he glanced between Haldir and the twins. A nervous laugh slipped past trembling lips, eyes watering as he emphatically shook his head once, twice, three times, as he tuned out the rest of the Knight's words. Through blurry vision his gaze settled on the twins who were looking up at Arctus with such profound sadness. That look alone cut through the Padawan, a searing hot pain lancing through his tight chest.
Taken by Sith. Arctus didn't know if that was a fate much worse than death. That maybe Misha had been lucky that he was killed instead of sharing the others' fate. What would the Sith need Jedi Younglings for? To torture them? To hurt the Jedi Order? To turn them into Sith–?
The former smuggler staggered where he knelt, deaf to the startled gasps of the twins as the pair tried their hardest to keep the Padawan upright. Everything burned and froze at the same time, his heart hammering against his ribs as fear and grief finally overwhelmed Arctus. With trembling hands he held Covro and Covrar close, embracing them fiercely as tears carved a burning trail down his cheeks as reality finally sunk in.
"They– T-They took Maikee, Arctus," Covrar whispered, terrified as he and his brother hugged the Padawan back just as fiercely. "We g-got separated from Nissa and– and Rhen, but last we saw them they're– the Knights were telling them to try and h-hide in the Library–" the Youngling trailed off with a sob then continued with a heartbroken, "They took M-Maikee... they took him... what are we gonna tell Nissa and R-Rhen...?"
Maikee. The one Youngling who always felt at ease and unguarded around Arctus, who slept easily either perched on the Padawan's shoulders or in his arms. The kid who was unabashed to call Arctus big brother. Arctus neer played favorites among the Younglings who befriended him, but if he would be blessed with the opportunity to have a child he would want for them to grow up like Maikee.
If he were to adopt one Youngling it would have been Maikee.
A choked sob escaped Arctus, heart broken for the children that were taken captive, and for one of the Younglings he secretly saw as his own kid. His anger for the lost children paled in comparison to the agony of losing them.
Maybe he shouldn't have gone to the frontlines. Maybe he should've stayed behind like he had intended, helping with keeping the Younglings safe. Or maybe he shouldn't have joined the Jedi Order at all, so he wouldn't have to face this grief.
Clove was heavily injured, Ruzaan must have been feeling so alone... and now Arctus had kidnapped Younglings in his plate.
The Padawan choked and gasped for breath as sorrow filled his lungs like lead.
Maybe he shouldn't have joined the Jedi Order so he wouldn't have to drown in grief like this.
The former smuggler knew that his continued struggle with the Dark Side was getting more and more of a liability the longer he remaine unable to control it. He was lucky that seeing Clove and Misha's defiled corpse hadn't outright sent him into a rage state. Ruzaan was lucky he didn't see what Arctus was capable of when blinded by anger. Clove was lucky to be unconscious, though the former smugglef wouldn't discount the fact that she – like Ruzaan – felt his emotions through the Force. He knew that his friends were aware that there was a certain Darkness to him, and while it was enough cause to tell them what afflicted him Arctus still felt the sharp sting of shame as he remembered what had transpired when he first met Ruzaan, his anger on Bal'Demnic, his meltdown in Drastus's potluck...
The Padawan shook the thoughts off, opting to focus on the present as he and the Knight warily approached the northern hall. The Sith and their troops have retreated already but he didn't dare question the Arkanian's need for caution. Arctus himself was still armed with a blaster, and despite Knight Eressëa's unreadableness through the Force the younger Jedi's body language was – for the first time since he met the latter – clear as day.
The pair traversed the hall and found no signs of the Younglings and their supposed protectors.
He didn't know why, but dread began to form in the pit of his stomach. Arctus felt agitated for reasons unknown as he and the Knight followed the path that led them outside the Temple. He found himself trying to catch up with the Arkanian's hurried footsteps, masked gaze lowered to the tracks on the earth. The Knight came to an abrupt stop and took one glove off, revealing an ivory hand that hovered over particular sets of tracks.
"Fuck."
The expletive made Arctus flinch, rather, the surprise upon hearing the stoic and proper Knight curse. As if on cue the bushes a few feet to their left rustled until a pair of terrified Togruta Younglings shot out from their hiding place to run towards Arctus, crying. The Padawan met them halfway, falling to his knees and quickly wrapping the twins in his arms as they wept and wailed in a mix of fear and relief. Arctus tried his hardest not to give in to his own tears just yet as he attempted to calm the twins.
"If it ain't the naughty Heleel boys," commented the former smuggler with as much cheer as he could muster, so as to try to soothe the crying siblings. He understood their terror because he felt them. "You boys hidin' in the bushes? Me and Knight Eressëa didn't notice you at all! Where are the rest of them ankle biters?"
Gods, he was older than Haldir Eressëa but here Arctus Friers was, looking up at the Knight who was now standing over the three and silently asking for the Arkanian's help to pacify the twins. None came, save for that same impassive gaze of the Knight's vulpine mask. Haldir Eressëa instead placed a hand on each Togrutas' head. The twins shifted in Arctus's hold to look up at the Arkanian, their bodies still wracked with unrestrained sobs as they clutched at Arctus's blast vest as if their very lives depended on it.
As if the former smuggler would fade away of they so much as let him go.
"Will you show me?" the Knight requested, falling down on one knee in front of Arctus and his kids.
"Show you what?" Arctus asked, dread rising from the pit of his stomach up to his lungs. He glanced between the Knight and the twins anxiously. "Covro? Covrar? Show him what? Won't you tell me?"
The twins simply nodded at the Arkanian's request, dark eyes closing as they sought refuge in Arctus's broad chest. He felt the children tremble as soon as Haldir lowered his masked gaze, and the former smuggler began to panic when the Knight tensed, breaths becoming uneven as Covro and Covrar started to cry again.
Arctus felt so left out despite being the rock that supported the twins. He felt so useless as the twins showed what Haldir asked of them. He wished to be a part of what was happening, and he couldn't help but curse his own lack of training and learning the skills and powers the Light Side of the Force were said to afford him. Before he could lose control of his anger once again the former smuggler reined it in, taking deep breaths to calm himself. His anger didn't help Ruzaan earlier and it wouldn't help Haldir and the twins now.
The Knight pulled his hands away from the twins a moment later and rose back to his feet. He looked away, hands clenching and unclenching as he marched towards the nearest tree and slammed a fist against the thick trunk, startling the birds perched upon its branches.
Whatever the twins showed the Knight, it was far from good news.
"Boys," he gently coaxed the twins, rubbing a hand each on their backs in a comforting manner. "Can you tell me what you've shown Knight Eressëa?"
They didn't need to get to the gist of it, as the Knight punched again the tree trunk and weakly spat out,
"Many Younglings were taken by Sith. The twins saw them, and by some miracle they managed to stay hidden–"
Arctus blinked, the revelation not sinking in just yet as he glanced between Haldir and the twins. A nervous laugh slipped past trembling lips, eyes watering as he emphatically shook his head once, twice, three times, as he tuned out the rest of the Knight's words. Through blurry vision his gaze settled on the twins who were looking up at Arctus with such profound sadness. That look alone cut through the Padawan, a searing hot pain lancing through his tight chest.
Taken by Sith. Arctus didn't know if that was a fate much worse than death. That maybe Misha had been lucky that he was killed instead of sharing the others' fate. What would the Sith need Jedi Younglings for? To torture them? To hurt the Jedi Order? To turn them into Sith–?
The former smuggler staggered where he knelt, deaf to the startled gasps of the twins as the pair tried their hardest to keep the Padawan upright. Everything burned and froze at the same time, his heart hammering against his ribs as fear and grief finally overwhelmed Arctus. With trembling hands he held Covro and Covrar close, embracing them fiercely as tears carved a burning trail down his cheeks as reality finally sunk in.
"They– T-They took Maikee, Arctus," Covrar whispered, terrified as he and his brother hugged the Padawan back just as fiercely. "We g-got separated from Nissa and– and Rhen, but last we saw them they're– the Knights were telling them to try and h-hide in the Library–" the Youngling trailed off with a sob then continued with a heartbroken, "They took M-Maikee... they took him... what are we gonna tell Nissa and R-Rhen...?"
Maikee. The one Youngling who always felt at ease and unguarded around Arctus, who slept easily either perched on the Padawan's shoulders or in his arms. The kid who was unabashed to call Arctus big brother. Arctus neer played favorites among the Younglings who befriended him, but if he would be blessed with the opportunity to have a child he would want for them to grow up like Maikee.
If he were to adopt one Youngling it would have been Maikee.
A choked sob escaped Arctus, heart broken for the children that were taken captive, and for one of the Younglings he secretly saw as his own kid. His anger for the lost children paled in comparison to the agony of losing them.
Maybe he shouldn't have gone to the frontlines. Maybe he should've stayed behind like he had intended, helping with keeping the Younglings safe. Or maybe he shouldn't have joined the Jedi Order at all, so he wouldn't have to face this grief.
Clove was heavily injured, Ruzaan must have been feeling so alone... and now Arctus had kidnapped Younglings in his plate.
The Padawan choked and gasped for breath as sorrow filled his lungs like lead.
Maybe he shouldn't have joined the Jedi Order so he wouldn't have to drown in grief like this.