Online Dating, your opinions?

[Kit]

Following a lengthy chat with one of my more romantically unsuccessful friends on the subject, I got interested on what a wider range of people might think about the topic. I for one can recognise the stigma that meeting someone online still carries - and can see why people might be reluctant, but I don't see the sense in it.

My thinking being, we rely on the internet for such a huge range of things these days, why should one of these be considered 'lame' or 'a bit desperate' to quote the aforementioned friend. I mean, given how awkward meeting the right person can be anyway, why should letting the internet prod you towards a more appropriate partner be any worse than meeting him/her through a friend, or in a drunken haze in some random bar or club?

So, my dear SWRPians, what's your personal take on online dating? Lame and desperate, practical and realistic? Do you think it's a worthwhile measure given the increasing role of the web, or the last refuge of the desperate and socially awkward? Opine away!

 

[BLADE]

Is meeting on the internet any less legitimate than meeting in a bar?

I never partook myself, as I met my wife when we were registering for classes on one dusty August day but it seems to me to be another way to reach out to people. What's the big deal?

 

[Livgardist]

I actually met my fiancé on the Internet several years ago. See, she lives in the US, and I live in Sweden. For about a year we had an online relationship going before she broke it off, because she felt it didn't lead anywhere. I kind of agreed. Then I joined the Army. My perspective on life changed due to all the extreme things I went through there, which led to me growing as a person, and rethinking my position in life. I realized that there was someone I wanted to be with, badly. I left the Army and went to the United States to woo her. Which I did. And when I had to leave due to an expiring visa, I did so being engaged. It was the most difficult thing I'd ever done, leaving. But I promised I'd be back and marry her, and as soon as I have the cash, I will be.

So, yeah, in my opinion, and I'm clearly biased, online dating is just another way of finding love. But if you want it to work, you have to go at the relationship with the full intention of meeting in real life one day, or it will definitely not work.

Or maybe I'm just the hopeless romantic. :D

 

[Orphen]

The internet is an excellent way to meet people, and if you become romantically involved, it's no more fulfilling as writing letters or talking on the phone. I see no issue in it. And have met a descent few beautiful people over the internet, some of them from this site. To whom i'm closer with than some of the friends i hang out with at home.

No it's not for all people.

But each to their own. If you're not hellbent on a physical relationship, and one that relies more on communication and emotional attachment. The internet is fine.

 

[Padmé]

Following a lengthy chat with one of my more romantically unsuccessful friends on the subject, I got interested on what a wider range of people might think about the topic. I for one can recognize the stigma that meeting someone online still carries - and can see why people might be reluctant, but I don't see the sense in it.

My thinking being, we rely on the internet for such a huge range of things these days, why should one of these be considered 'lame' or 'a bit desperate' to quote the aforementioned friend. I mean, given how awkward meeting the right person can be anyway, why should letting the internet prod you towards a more appropriate partner be any worse than meeting him/her through a friend, or in a drunken haze in some random bar or club?

So, my dear SWRPians, what's your personal take on online dating? Lame and desperate, practical and realistic? Do you think it's a worthwhile measure given the increasing role of the web, or the last refuge of the desperate and socially awkward? Opine away!

Well, like Will., I can't speak to the proposed question from a personal perspective seeing as I am married. For a little over a decade. (Don't judge me! Not that old...I got married wayyyyyy toooooo young). Any who what I do know about that subject is that there are four married couples in my life who met their spouses through online dating service.

Kit, seeing as I am the type of person who makes most of my decision on empirical data, your question led me to a small online research- of sorts. Interestedly enough, there are no empirical evidence/data leading to the success rate of marriages that were conceived out of online dating service. However, I did run into a few anecdotal evidence (this article is a bit old, but I can't seem to located the recent one----> (click link) that alludes to the idea that for every five couples that walks into a divorces attorney's office, one out of the five is a couple whose marriage came about as a direct result from online dating service. Said anecdotal evidence did not lead me to much, thus I looked up statistics. But unfortunately the website had a minor error that set me off. (I can't trust a site -100%-that separates Mali from the continent of Africa. Mali IS part of Africa. lol) At any rate said website's data can be found here.

Essentially my small research led me to only count on the three RL couple that I know as my empirical data- of sorts. As mentioned all of them met through online dating service. One out of the three couples is inter-cultural marriage. The hubby is Indian, and the wife is Ukrainian. They've been married for eight years and have two adorable children. Next couple are both German origin (the wife is a cousin of mine)they've been married for four years and have one child. Third couple is a college friend of mine. Now hers I am a tad concerned about because her hubby does not hold the same religious values as the wife. They've been married for three years, but have no children.

So, based on my RL experience 100% out of 100% couples who meet and got married through online dating service have had 100% success rate. I for one however, would not go that route. Though I see nothing wrong with it; factoring in the social stigma. It is almost akin to the same idea behind why I prefer hard copy/paper back books compared to the electronic counterpart.

Like Nite, and I am sure others feel the same way, I have met some decent folks on this forum. Some of whom I consider friends. Even so, the idea of potentially meeting a partner online scares the living daylight out of me. But, I already met my love thus that feeling has no bearing on me!




tl;dr? well too bad. -.-

 

[Bubbles]

We have a proverb in French... Loin des yeux, loin du coeur. Far from the eyes, far from the heart. Now... it doesn't necessarily apply to online dating, but to long distance relationships in general. Who cares where you meet your sweetheart?

I've met really interesting people while playing MMOs. Some actually lived fairly close to me and we met. Any guy who'll make me a sandwich while I shoot people in the face is a keeper.

No, seriously. I think online is a great place to meet people. You don't have to go to a bar to find someone... It's just a means to an end. And for shy people, online is actually a great medium since most inhibitions are gone. You can get to know someone really well behind a screen. And you might even have a chance at finding true love, provided you can meet in person often. Because don't forget: Far from the eyes, far from the heart.

 

[Don Donatos]

My personal experience with online dating varied because each person I met was different. First one was sort of a blind date in high school a friend of a friend, but all we did was "Myspace" each other (messaging lol) and a bit of texting and not too long we actually met up. He was probably my longest relationship, but eventually went separate ways. Im not really comfortable meeting people at a bar or a club, it feels tacky to me and everyone has that ONE thing on their mind or at least thats the ones I've encountered lol.

I've tried an actual dating site and met another guy, whom I talked to for weeks, but when we met it all just fell flat. Its interesting though, because as some have mentioned you might actually get to know someone better behind a screen because they have no fear of holding back on who they are, but when you actually meet them your perceptions change. For instance the guy I was talking to seemed really cool, interesting etc... but when we met came off as rude, snobby and actually told me "I've got three hours, can we hurry this up?" BITCH PLEASE! xD

I personally would like to meet someone one on one, meet them in person and talk online too or text or whatever, but to rely soley on the texting or emailing I have to say no to. Because how they act online can very well just be the opposite they act in person.

Me for instance, my typical online presence is inquisitive, polite, exaggerations EVERYWHERE! and some type of weird alien humor. Meet me in real life and I'll still be polite, joke around maybe, but overall I'll just come off as quiet and shy. But then spend alot of time with me and Im basically my online self (true self?) I dont know :p

 

[Emma Lou]

I met my husband online. He is in the oil field so he is gone too much to really go out and be like "hey, you're nice and I really like you but I am leaving tomorrow for 3 months" so he turned to online dating sites. I decided to try online sites because all I was meeting at school and work were immature guys who got on my last nerve. I had met like 3 people before him but there wasn't anything there between us. I am pretty independent so I don't mind his traveling and we spent the majority of our time dating apart but I don't think either of us would of found each other without online dating. My aunt met her husband online too. I am a big supporter of it. You just have to be smart and weed out the people and not meet every person and def. meet in a public place. Online dating gets a bad rep from stupid people who think it's a good idea to meet a stranger at their house and then they get murdered.

 

[Geeva]

I for one, am so shy that it is ridiculous. When I attempt to talk to someone or someone tries to engage in conversation with me face to face I freeze up and just end up looking at the ground awkwardly the entire conversation. Thus dating in a social setting such as a bar or party just doesn't seem to work for me as I can't start or maintain small talk even if my life depended on it. I have tried online dating with marginal success, had one relationship with someone that I met online that lasted almost a year before it was broken off. I can communicate much more effectively through text then speech as I get a chance to really think about what I am going to say. Most of my friends actually test me instead of call me now cause calls get no where fast xD. So I support online dating and don't think it should be considered desperate or any of that stuff.

 

[Padmé]

G-e-e-va, I find that difficult to believe.
The shy part. -,-

 

[Geeva]

G-e-e-va, I find that difficult to believe.
The shy part. -,-

It's true! despite how it may seem with the way I talk on forums and such, in person I am so shy that it actually makes normal communication with other people really difficult :x

 

[Malcador]

I have mixed feelings on it. I had two relationships online with one not leading anywhere and the other was so dishonest the dishonesty was leaking through my computer screen. So for me meeting one in real life would be better, but I have a hard time talking to people in general. It differs from person to person is the most I can say in a nutshell. For some it can lead to a good thing, for others it can lead to disaster, but that's not like saying real life ones can't either.

 

[Kaeb]

Isn't SWRP an online dating service?

 

[Don Donatos]

I can relate Geeva.

What I find interesting is that most of us can write such charming, detailed characters and when we role play as them it is sort of like acting. Maybe for those even me included who feel awkward when speaking to people in public should pick one of our characters and just act like them in conversation xD

I recently went to a bar with my friends and just sipped my water for almost 3 hours because all the people there just threw me off track, I need to bring my spontaneous online nature into the real world so I am less boring than I appear to be.... a twenty year old star wars fan, who loves R&B / Soul music and is such a confident nerd I might make the cast of Big Bang Theory blush ;)

Its so funny that I know who I am, but have difficulty projecting it in public o.O

 

[Padmé]

Kaeb, if that was the truth, Mullens, Matt, Sin, Brandon, and co., would be married off by now.










:P








Heck, I don't know. I'm so oblivious to some things on the forum. lol

 

[Green Ranger]

A lot of people go on online dating sites because they know that there will always be people on there who are really desperate, so it's easy access casual sex.

 

[Emma Lou]

A lot of people go on online dating sites because they know that there will always be people on there who are really desperate, so it's easy access casual sex.

Which is why there is a lot of weeding out to do. There were PLENTY openly just want sex profiles out there.

 

[Green Ranger]

Which is why there is a lot of weeding out to do. There were PLENTY openly just want sex profiles out there.

There's plenty of profiles out there that aren't open about it either.

 

[Emma Lou]

There's plenty of profiles out there that aren't open about it either.

Very true. And lots of crazies. My friend is currently on the same site I used and she is just getting lots of crazies. Lots and lots of them!

 

[Orphen]

Isn't SWRP an online dating service?

I thought this Site was solely set up for Weiss to meet Bac? :CIsee