Picking Up The Pieces

[Raz Solus]

Raz was more frequently on Mandalore nowadays than ever before. She found it peaceful to be back on the home planet, especially since becoming a House. They were welcome with open arms now and people looked to her for guidance. It was a strange feeling, and she wasn’t sure she would ever get quite used to it. She had her quarters set up on the planet, a modest apartment just for herself. She liked it this way, normally used to more communal living with her clan. She also didn’t quite feel like living on a farm like her father, and this was in the heart of the bustling city.

She was still getting used to her cybernetic, though she had an easier time lifting things up now. Raz had practiced firing her gun a few times, and she was still not quite there yet. Fine motor skills were taking a lot longer to learn, and she was getting rather frustrated. She still withdrew within herself and fell apart when she thought of her weaknesses. Raz despised being anything less than whole, and she knew things would never be the same since she lost her arm. Despite her clansmen always telling her they saw her no different, she knew she wasn’t who she was before.

She had just come out of the shower, awkwardly managing to shampoo her hair with the new arm. Every little task was a pain, and it took her twice as long to put her clothes back on. Her hair was still damp after she had given up with the towel. With a sigh, she walked into her living room and switched on the Holofeed. She reached for a fruit from her kitchen and promptly crushed it on accident, juices and the flesh of the fruit seeping down the arm. Raz groaned and pressed her forehead against the refrigerator.

“I should have just kriffing died on Corellia,” She grumbled to herself, closing her eyes.

 

[The Eternal (?)]

Valentine knew he should have been back home on Al'doleem, preparing to his face his trial as he knew the Order would not be pleased. He could already feel it through the force and it would be something he needed to handle soon. But Raz had been plaguing his mind the entire time and he needed to check on her, last seeing her being taken to Mandalore to return home back to her people. The entire time she had been gone Val couldn't keep his mind from racing, constantly finding himself pacing by himself if there was nothing for him to physically do. It was tearing at his nerves and he needed to make sure that she was okay, if not, it could possibly throw him off during his trial and that couldn't happen.

Val took his small ship to Mandalore, finding it rather easy to fly through the atmosphere and locate Raz's signature. It was in the capital city and while he wasn't surprised, he was still pretty surprised. He heard the news that Solus had just become an official house and thought that it would come with benefits, but Val thought she would have preferred the tribe setting over the city. Either way Val easily snuck through the city and to Raz's signature, having been a rebel his entire life and knowing exactly what to do. The entire time he thought on what he would say, what it will be like between them. It made him nervous but he eventually found himself standing outside her door, just dressed in typical civilian attire with his lightsabers still on him. Val hadn't moved for minutes, his gaze just staring into the door as he was frozen solid.

Now that he was here, he didn't know what to do. Val cleared his throat softly glancing down both ends of the hallway to make sure nobody was walking down and thinking he was a random serial killer. Exhaling softly, Val took a few steps back from the door, "Shit..." He rubbed both of his eyes with his hands before dropping them and shaking both of his arms as well. "Alright, alright." He didn't know why he was so damn nervous, his heart pounding hard and blocking everything out. Back on Corellia, it was easy, they were in combat and he just acted on what he wanted to do. Now he was completely sober from adrenaline and it was nerve-racking. Val cleared his throat once more before cracking his neck, just giving him something to do before he eventually knocked on the door.

There were no other excuses he could find and Val eventually reached his hand forward slowly, rasping his knuckles against the door a few times before stepping back. He started patting his thighs without thinking about it and he glanced down before quickly slipping them into his pockets. "Ok," He murmured to himself to calm down, Val now just standing there and waiting for her to open the door.

 

[Raz Solus]

Raz was still in the middle of her self deprecating tirade when she heard the knock on the door. She pulled back from the fridge, staring at her reflection on the steel as she began to run through who could be visiting her at this point. She was in no mood to see anyone, and she certainly had told her clansmen to leave her alone for a few days. Raz was giving herself some solitude time to sort through her thoughts. It was a common misconception that Mandalorians didn’t need times like these, and it made it all the more difficult to explain it to anyone else. She wanted nothing more than to wallow in self-pity and punch through walls with her ridiculous fake arm.

In the end, she sighed and decided that she should probably check out who was standing at her door. With a defeated slouch, Raz began to walk towards the door, running through a list of polite “go away” statements she could make to the person behind it. She was halfway across her living room before she realized her cybernetic was still covered in the remnants of the fruit. Raz simply rolled her eyes and closed the distance, finally opening the door. She opened her mouth to mention she didn’t want to buy anything when she saw who it was. Raz was frozen in place, her eyes wide and comically standing there while dripping fruit juice onto her floor.

“V-Val..” She muttered. He looked just as flustered to see her as she was to see him. There was no denying that he was a large part of what occupied her thoughts the past few days. There had been an adrenaline rush on Corellia, and it had been easy to breeze through that incident. Ever since she had been back, she lost sleep over wondering exactly what he meant to her and why. It took her a moment to realize she was rudely standing there, and she quickly cleared her throat, “Oh uh.. Come in.”

Raz stepped aside to let him through, closing the door. It was strange to be in a setting like this with him. He was wearing civilian clothing and she was in a tank-top and simple sweatpants. Her hair was still wet, and she didn’t have a single plate of armor on her save for the cybernetic arm. Raz smiled awkwardly at him, lifting her arm to flex the fingers, “Still getting used to this. It’ll never be the same,” The smile faded, and it was clear she felt a lot of pain from this all. The emotional pain was far worse than the physical.

They had met one another countless times and they had even shared intimate moments, and yet she was still as nervous and awkward around him as ever. Raz fidgeted in place, chewing the inside of her lip as the sound of the Holonet resonated quietly in the background. She shifted nervously before clearing her throat again, “So um… what brings you here?” Why was she such a damn ditz around him?

 

[The Eternal (?)]

Valentine waited there, feeling Raz's signature approach closer and closer to the door. He inhaled and exhaled slowly while the door was still closed, attempting to calm his beating heart. It was the best thing he could do and when she opened the door he stopped, Val finally looking up to see Raz standing right in front of him. Despite that he was so nervous to see her, the sight of her couldn't help but bring a smile to his face, it seeming to calm his heart instantly for some reason. "Hey... sorry to bother you." He chuckled softly while just standing there silently for a moment afterward, not knowing what else to add. His eyes glanced down and he finally saw her arm, seeing the cybernetic arm. Val knew her arm would most likely be gone but somehow he still expected to find it completely healthy again.

He arched his eyebrow slightly at whatever was dripping off of it but when she offered to come inside he gave her a nod of thanks before stepping in. The apartment was nice and Val actually liked it a lot, always having preferred owning something himself but not too big and not small. Either way, he spun on his heel and turned back around to face Raz, seeing her full attire. Val laughed softly as he unconsciously took a step closer to her, "I like the no armor look you got going on here." It was rare for him to see her like this and he relished the sight while he could. When she offered up her arm and flexed her fingers, Val's eyes immediately locked onto it, finding it quite fascinating. He hadn't seen a prosthetic this nicely designed before, having been with the Rebels so long and used to low and less-efficient supplies. Val also didn't miss the smile that faded from Raz's face, clearly not happy about it as he also felt it in her emotions.

Val immediately stepped forward without thinking again, closing the distance a little more as his hand went out while her cybernetic one dropped back down. He caught it gently mid-air, gripping it along the forearm as he lightly ran his fingers over it. His gaze was locked on it for a few moments, still gliding his thumb back and forth along the metal before he spoke up, "I think it looks pretty hot." Val lifted his gaze and couldn't help the genuine and soft laugh that came out of him, "I didn't know it was possible for you to look even more badass." The smell of fruit was suddenly coming to his nose and he glanced down at her palm, still seeing the juice gleaming against the metal. "And... whatever that is."

When she asked what brought him here, Val dropped his gaze again as he just focused on her arm and giving him something else to look at and not her eyes. "I wanted to check on you, make sure you were doing alright before... I don't know. Before some bullshit or something where it would be weeks or longer." He let out a sigh before raising his gaze to meet hers again, "My tribunal is soon and wanted to see you before my life becomes possibly very hectic." Val couldn't help but smirk at the thought of the situation while his eyes were still locked with Raz's. He didn't want to worry her about his ordeals but he already knew if he didn't tell her then she would sniff it out and make him tell her.

 

[Raz Solus]

She could feel his eyes on her, and it made her even more nervous. She kept fidgeting, her intact arm coming up so her fingers brushed errant strands of hair away. He stepped closer and she didn’t budge from where she was. His comment threw her off, and she had to laugh. She hadn’t even thought about her state of attire, and she was almost always in armor around him. This was one of the few times he could see her slender form, along with all the tattoos on her body. She felt her face heat up when he commented on the cybernetic.

“Oh come on,” She muttered, rolling her eyes. He was holding the arm and running his fingers along it. She couldn’t feel any of it, but she watched him curiously, especially as his fingers went closer to where the damn fruit had exploded in her hand. Raz couldn’t help but smile at his words, “I’m still getting used to it,” She muttered sheepishly. She was feeling more at ease now, especially because he was comfortable around her. Raz didn’t know when she began to see him differently, but there was no going back now. Her gaze lifted so she met his, looking into those warm, amber eyes. It was only brief before he looked away, purposely avoiding looking at her as he fixated on the arm.

When he spoke next, she listened carefully, feeling that familiar warmth wash over at his words. He was being more forthcoming now, and he plainly told her he had come to check on her. Despite everything they had been through together, it still threw her off when he made these gestures. With a sting she was reminded that they were never afforded the luxury of seeing one another often. It was becoming more and more important to her to see him, and they both led lives that were worlds apart.

When he mentioned the tribunal, there was a sharp intake of breath from her. They were putting him to trial? Raz’s eyes widened right as his gaze slid up to meet hers. She knew the history of trials - she knew the history of how the first Sith came to be. It all began with a trial. Would they try to do the same to him? “What….what can they charge you with?” She asked, her voice weak, “What can they do?” Raz was afraid, and it was in her voice. She was often a rock to her people, a paragon of strength. Yet at this news, at the thought of Val going through this, she found herself breaking.

Raz sighed, stepping even closer as she looked at him, “No matter what happens, I don’t want to lose you. I…” She had to chuckle awkwardly, lowering her gaze, “I don’t know what Jedi tricks you’ve been playing on my mind but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. And I don’t want to stop,” She looked at him again, “I don’t want to keep pretending there’s nothing between us.”

 

[The Eternal (?)]

Valentine didn't hold anything against her when she muttered that she was still getting used to it. It would be a major change in her life and he would like to be there every step of the way with her. But that so far in the future and sudden that he had to push out the thought from his head, wondering what made him go there suddenly. Either way, he retreated from his mind and saw how Raz rolled her eyes at his comment which made him chuckle softly, "It's true Pip." It had been a while since had called her that name and it felt refreshing to use, having always liked the sound of it. But as he told her about the tribunal, he felt the sharp spike in her emotions, the fear that was palpable for him. Val could even clearly see it in her eyes and based on her reaction he thought he knew why.

There had been a tribunal before this one, a court set for a young girl who the Jedi turned away and left to fend for herself. Because of their mistakes, that young girl had become the monster Andraste and she quickly gave the Order a swift retaliation while twirling her hair the entire time. Val believed it wouldn't turn into that, knowing deep down everyone feared that possibility of happening again and would rather die instead of it coming to fruition. It nearly destroyed the Order the last time and the Jedi knew that with Leah there, she would never let that happen on her watch. Val sighed softly as she asked her question, "Whatever they want. Stripping of my rank, toilet duty, designated librarian. After I lay out my case in front of them, the ball is in their court from that point on." Even though he hadn't returned home yet, he already knew his decision to reveal the Order would break relationships and even destroy some with him but he fully believed it was worth it. He did it for Raz, he did it for his people, he did for everything his heart cared about in this galaxy.

When she stepped closer, the distance between them was minimal at best. Raz muttered that she didn't want to lose him and Val arched his eyebrow at her, his hand coming up as he gently gripped her chin and tilted her head up. This was the first time Raz had actually acknowledged that something was between them without either getting erupted or getting caught up in the passion of the moment. The last time they spoke about it Val had flown her back home, both of them distant to each other at that time and barely speaking a world. Val never wanted that to happen again, even that little moment of shutting off to each other seemed unbearable now if it happened. Raz's simple words brought another surprised smile to his face, his heart beating faster but for a good reason this time. It wasn't because he was nervous but now that he was excited, for the possibility of a future and one with her.

Val ran her words in his head while finally realizing how close they were standing to each other now. He bent down slightly before pressing his forehead to hers while his hand slid from her chin to cup her cheek. "You won't lose me. I will always be there for you, always." His voice held a serious tone in it, it clear that Val truly believed in the words that he told her. His thumb slid back and forth along her smooth skin as Val murmured softly after her words, "Then let's stop pretending." With newfound courage that Val didn't know he had, he leaned down and claimed her lips, his hand sliding to the back of her and deepening the kiss. Maybe it was overstepping his bounds while she was still healing but just like Raz, Val hadn't been able to stop thinking about kissing her the moment he stepped foot in her apartment.

 

[Raz Solus]

She was worried about her words and their impacts. She hadn’t thought them through and she had just blurted them out. He had lifted her face to look back at him, and she once again found herself a nervous wreck. Her heart was pounding against her chest, and she found herself getting lost into his eyes. Didn’t this only happen in cheesy Holomovies she never watched? She heard about it, and she didn’t even think it was possible for her. She was Mandalorian, and she was supposed to be impervious to things like this. Nevertheless, he made her feel weak, as if she could melt into the floor right there.

When he spoke, she had her validation that he felt the same. She could feel him tense up as they were both venturing into territory they weren’t familiar with one another. Raz leaned into where his hand held her face, relishing the feel of his warm skin. She knew she wanted to feel more of it, and she didn’t want anything getting in the way this time. Raz didn’t stop him as he leaned in to kiss her, and she returned it just as urgently. Her right hand slid behind the back of his head, pulling him in closer. Her cybernetic arm was still unsure of what to do, and she half worried about hurting him.

Raz didn’t care about whether or not they were crossing lines. She didn’t care that this was probably a terrible idea. She was right back where she had been aboard his ship and then back on Tatooine. They had been stopped each time, and there was nothing to get in the way now. She wouldn’t let it. Raz deepened the kiss, pulling back to nibble on his lower lip before she whispered against his mouth, “I’m not going to stop,” She didn’t give a chance to respond before she kissed him again, her hand sliding back down from his shoulder and down the front of his torso. Her fingers slid down towards his hips to begin tugging at his shirt, only to notice the saberhilts. She couldn’t help but chuckle softly against his lips before they were drawn and tossed unceremoniously to the side.

Raz didn’t stop there, tugging his upper body clothing up till it was easily over his head and cast off. It was the first time she saw him like this, and she took a moment to simply admire him, her eyes roaming over every curvature and tone of his muscles, along with the scars he carried with him to this day. Her fingers grazed over the front of his torso, brushing along his skin where she had never touched before. Raz looked up at him again, leaning in to press her lips against his collarbone. She traced her kisses along there, working her way up towards his neck, “I’m not going to stop..” Raz murmured once again, softly biting into the crook of his neck. She knew he had his limitations and rules as a Jedi, and she was going to push past all those boundaries.

 

[The Eternal (?)]

Valentine always had restraints placed on him, mentally from himself and also the rules of the Order. But as Raz kissed him, the passion in their actions undeniable as her hand slipped through his hair, he could feel those restraints slowly start to slip off from his mind. It was like she was playing her own tricks in his head and it was making Val barely able to process anything except her, his blood pumping just like his heart as it felt like fire wherever she touched. He could sense it coming from her as well, the fear of what they were doing. This could be the downfall of each other, of their people if something happened between them, her Mandalore and him a Jedi Master. It was a complex relationship but the more they continued, it seemed the fear eroded away as they kissed or they both just simply stopped caring about the future and instead just each other at the moment.

Raz pulled back to bite on his lip while murmuring she wasn't going to stop, causing Val's emotions and nerves to spike uncontrollably. Before he could even roll her words around his head she already returned for the kiss, putting his mind in a whirl but making his hunger for her rise just as well. There was nothing now that would stop them, in her own apartment and completely in privacy. This was going to happen and this was the farthest that Val had gone before, now feeling that fear slowly start to creep back as it seemed Raz knew what she was doing perfectly. He felt her hands skim along his torso before reaching his hips, starting to tug his shirt up as it raised the hairs on the back of his neck. Yeah, she really wasn't going to stop. Val felt her discover his lightsabers and when she chuckled he couldn't help but smirk against her lips, kissing her back while he cupped her face so that his mind wouldn't freak out about doing this. Raz would still feel him tense slightly while she tossed his weapons away, his connection with them prevalent and basically Raz's armor if he could give an analogy.

Val eventually withdrew his arms before raising them so it would help Raz in taking off his upper garments. They could hear the jingle of his dog tags as they caught in his clothing before dropping back down and smacking against his chest. It showed his full name and other information about him from his time when he was a Rebel and the only resemblance that he used to be a part of them. Raz didn't hide her eyes roaming over his body and drinking in everything, Val thanking the training he received from the Rebels and Jedi, his body holding leaner musculature rather than size so he would be more agile. While it certainly helped with his physical appearance and condition, it also showed the damage he took to get to this point from over the years. The scars he received from Corellia had healed but were visible, a long silver burn mark descending down his right shoulder while another was across the left side of his ribs. It was obvious they were lightsaber marks from the Sith he fought, thankfully leaving unscathed besides that. There were also a few blaster bolt scars that were near his hip and abdomen, but other than that he was relatively unmarred from the front. Val's eyes stared right back at her and followed her like a hawk, letting her drink him in before directing his gaze to her fingers as they touched his skin, his nerve endings lighting up once more where she touched.

Raz leaned in and kissed along his collarbone, making Val shut his eyes as each kiss was a small shot of bliss and fear into him. She was making her way to his neck and the Jedi was too caught up to do anything about her, Raz repeating the same words and lighting a small fire in him that he didn't know was there. While she suckled on his neck, Val groaned softly at the feeling before suddenly summoning the force between his fingers and flicking his wrist. Raz would feel the force wrap around her before shooting her up in the air slightly, Val's arms immediately extending outward as he grabbed onto her thighs and pulled her against him. It made her legs wrap around his waist while also equaling out their height so they were staring each other right in the eye. Val leaned forward capturing her lips as their bodies pressed tightly against each other, murmuring against her lips, "Then don't stop." Val didn't know where this confidence came but he had never been surer in a moment till now. Even on Corellia, Val wanted this more and with every fiber of his being.

Val carried her over to the bedroom, his lips continuing to dance with her the entire time. When they reached the bedroom he gently placed her down on the mattress, getting on top of her and between her legs as his dog tags dangled between them. "I think you've been the one that's been playing tricks on my mind." Val couldn't help but laugh softly once more, believing he was worse for wear when it came to not being able to stop thinking about her and hungering for her. It battled with the codes and beliefs he was taught but he had already broken the rules in revealing the Order. And right now, Val only wanted Raz and just that.

 

[Raz Solus]

---​

Her eyes fluttered open after several hours, and she wasn’t sure what time it was. All she knew was that the sun was up when he arrived, and it looked dark outside now. Raz had dozed off at some point, and she was genuinely at peace. She hadn’t slept this well in a while, even though it was only for a few hours. Raz realized she had fallen asleep in Val’s arms, and the realization was strange to her. She wasn’t the time to linger like this even when she had been intimate before.

They had both pushed past any boundaries or reservations they had. There was no going back now, and she had no regrets. Raz slowly turned over till she faced him, gazing at his eyes that were no doubt blinking open. She managed a smile as she raised her hand and slowly traced her fingers along his cheek, “I hope you didn’t have any other important plans today,” The smile grew wider before she leaned in to tenderly kiss him on the lips. There was an odd sense of euphoria she felt being here with him. They were both bare as the day they were born, and she relished the warmth of his body. It was just the two of them here, no one else around to judge or question their choices and decisions. It was very liberating in so many ways.

Raz leaned in and nuzzled against his chest, simply resting there for a moment. She still didn’t know what to make of her feelings towards him. Being intimate with him had unearthed everything she had been in denial about, and there was no way to put it all back where it came from. Raz was afraid, but also exhilarated at once. She savored the feel of him, and she pressed into the subtle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed calmly.

She finally decided she laid there long enough and pulled back from him. Raz stretched and rose to sit, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. Her hair was a mess, and the air felt cold on her skin. She rose to stand, the large badger sigil tattoo on her back visible as she looked around for her clothing. Raz glanced over at him briefly, “You uh…. Do you want to stay the night?” She felt her face heat up even asking him that. Where was this going?

 

[The Eternal (?)]

Valentine had already woken up a few minutes before Raz did, finding her lying in the bed right next to him. She was still fast asleep and in his arms and Val didn't dare disturb her, looking down at her as he saw her peacefully inhale and exhale. it was the first time he saw her peaceful like this, completely stress-free from her house and the war that was raging on outside the galaxy. It was their moment and nothing could come between it, so he certainly wasn't going to ruin it. Gently Val pulled Raz into him closer, his arm around her slender shoulders with his hand resting on her waist. The top half of his back rested against the headboard with the help of a pillow, his other free hand touching his tags as he gently rubbed his thumb over his full name. It had been a long time since he had been the man who first received the tags and he wondered just how much had changed.

Val heard Raz finally shuffle awake and he glanced over at her, a smile instantly coming to his lips as her eyes fluttered awake. "Hey sleepy," She gave her own smile which made his heart flutter like her eyes, the warmth of her fingers traveling along his jaw before she leaned in to kiss. Val returned it, his free cupping her face once more. "Not unless they involve you." He murmured softly before chuckling, unable to believe this was happening. When they first met he never saw this happening, both of them pretty much despise each other in the beginning. Now here they were, both naked and tangled in sheets and limbs. While they had finally crossed the final boundary, Val didn't know what this would lead to. Were they together now? Was this a one-time thing? Was Val worrying about this way too much and to Raz it was nothing at all? His thoughts were rampaging but they suddenly disappeared as she nuzzled in closer to him, Raz's warmth taking over as he relished it, never wanting it to leave him.

Val's finger traveled lightly up and down the side of her ribcage, pressing his cheek on top of Raz's head for a moment before lightly kissing it. It was just automatic for him and he didn't know why but he felt good himself doing it, it comforting to both him and her. They both just laid there in silence, neither seeming to want to speak at the moment. There was a lot to process in both of their minds and Val didn't mind just laying there with her, enjoying the comfort of having Raz clinging to his side. Eventually, though she peeled away, his eyes following her as brought her legs over the edge before standing up. Val couldn't resist and his eyes slowly scanning over her, admiring every curve and tattoo she had. She was breathtaking and the Jedi just stayed in bed to watch the scenery.

Raz's question, however, shook Val awake instantly becoming the topic on his mind. Was she really asking him to stay over? Val hadn't really thought this far ahead. His plan was to check on her and if all was good he was just going to head back home and wait for his trial to begin, it only in a few days. Val didn't really have his own place to stay except his little space on Aldoreem halfway across the galaxy. His own flushed slightly red, embarrassed but really knowing what for. Val sat up on the bed, the sheets still clinging around his wait before he also swung his legs over, "Oh... yeah I do... But I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I'm sure I can find someplace else, you don't have to offer that." Would he be overstepping his grounds if he stayed? Val wondered if she was just doing this as a courtesy to him, knowing full well she needed her rest despite what transpired between them.

Either way, Val eventually stood from the bed with his back to Raz as he went over to his pants. While his front remained relatively unscarred, his back was a different story. There was a multitude of scars there, some jagged lines and others just straight down or diagonal. It was from when Val and Raz flew through the building on Kashyyyk, attempting to take the brunt of the damage so she wouldn't. Raz would also be able to see the blaster mark she gave him at the back of his right calf, it unusually larger since she had shot him at point black range. It was clear they didn't bother him anymore and it would be her first time seeing his collection openly unblocked from the back. He found his pants and slipped them on, turning back to face Raz as he ran a hand through his black hair with his amber gaze locked on her.

 

[Raz Solus]

She quirked an eyebrow as he fumbled over his words on whether to stay or not. She didn’t know whether to be offended or not, and he left her more confused than anything. Raz shrugged in the end, grinning, “Well, I want you to stay, so stay,” She said finally. She wasn’t exactly shy with him at this point, not when they had experienced so much together. There was always the question of what this was - was it a one time thing? Was it a fling? Were they together? She wasn’t even sure Jedi understood concepts like that. She wasn’t even sure even she understood those concepts.

Her eyes roamed over his body as he turned and began to put his clothing on. For a moment, she simply admired the muscles and old scars. It took her a moment to realize where they were from, and she felt guilty about the incident on Kashyyyk. Her eyes went further down to spot the scar on his leg. She felt a pang then, knowing she had shot him there. To this day he had no idea that it was her doing, and she wasn’t sure she had the heart to tell him. Would he even care at this point? Raz decided it was better to say nothing.

She had her pants half up before she paused, stepping back out of them. Raz walked over to him and grasped his hand, interrupting his own efforts at dressing up, “Well, since you’re not leaving..” She had a mischievous smile on her face as she tugged him back towards herself, leading him towards her shower.

---​

It was the next morning, and this time she wasn’t asleep in the bed next to him. She had let him sleep in, still deep in her thoughts. They had spent many hours together, and it was entirely away from their responsibilities. It had been pure bliss, and she enjoyed simply unwinding with him. It was rare for her to have moments like these where she detached entirely from her role as a House Leader. There was a war to fight, people to tend to and orders to issue. She pushed all that aside for just an evening with Val.

Their evening was surprisingly simple - involving sharing old war stories, watching terrible but funny holomovies and ordering plenty of takeout. And of course, lots of lovemaking. She was at ease the whole time, and it was possibly the longest she had ever been out of her armor. Despite all that, she still wasn’t entirely sure what the two of them were, and it was beginning to claw at her mind. Did he feel the same? Did it confuse him just as much? Probably even moreso from his Jedi teachings.

She knew it wouldn’t be long till he woke up and made his way outside. Once he did, he would see a basilisk droid standing outside. Atop it was Raz, once again back in armor. Instead being mounted on it, she was casually laying on her back, one leg resting atop the other, her foot waving back and forth to a rhythm. As soon as she realized he had emerged, she tilted her helmeted head to look at him.

“Hop on,” She called out to him, not explaining anything else. Raz shifted so she was sitting on the droid, waiting for him to do his superhuman leap to jump into the seat beside her.

 

[The Eternal (?)]

Valentine felt Raz's emotions fluctuate uncertainly at his words, making him believe that misunderstood what he was saying. He wanted to stay with her obviously and he wondered how he should correct himself. He was terrible at this but eventually, Raz told him that she actually wanted him to stay and it brought a genuine smile to his lips, glad to see that she actually said and it wasn't left up to him to decipher. "Then I would be happy to stay here." It was the truth and nothing would make him more so. Val was still in the process of pulling up his pants when he was suddenly interrupted, Raz's fingers interlocking with his before pulling him towards the shower. Stepping from his pants, Val couldn't help the own mischevious smile that tugged the corner of his lips, "Oh?" His eyes continuing to slowly crawl over her before he closed the door behind him.

---​

Val's eyes snapped open, groaning softly from just waking up as he sat up slightly. He used his hand to feel Raz beside him once more but all he found was the soft mattress. He patted it a few times, having not checked yet before finally glancing around. The bed was completely empty, the door to the room ajar slightly. Val dropped his head back onto the pillow, assuming that Raz went that way and the slightly open door was his sign to come along too. Rubbing his eyes of the tiredness, Val recounting the past events that happened between him and Raz. It was one of the nicest things he ever experienced, just him and her, away from their responsibilities and the weight of their people on their shoulders. Both of them needed it and the memories brought another grin to him, thinking of the stories and laughs they shared as they just enjoyed their company.

They also during that time couldn't get enough of each other physically, having made love multiple times during his stay at her place. The previous wall of nervousness and shyness between them disappeared, both of them working it out of his system. Val knew every inch of her now and he savored it in his mind, once again the thoughts of having her to himself coming to his mind but he shook his head clear. It was time for him to get up and he knew it, finally sitting up from the bed before swinging his leg over. It only took him a few minutes to get dressed and come outside, following her signature as he ran another hand through his ruffled hair in order to fix. When he saw the basilisk in front of him Val froze in place, blinking a few times and making sure that a basilisk was actually standing in front of him before raising his gaze to Raz with an arched eyebrow, "You didn't have to go all out for me." She was fully kitted out and without offering much explanation, just told him to hop on.

Val glanced around them, wondering if this was just the norm on the planet. He checked to make sure he had his lightsabers before launching himself up in the air in the force. He would land gracefully next to Raz and sit himself down next to her. When he turned his head to look at her, Val suddenly found himself staring down the barrel of a PIPE with live ammunition inside it. Using one finger, Val slowly pushed the PIPE out of his face so he could see Raz and vice versa. "... Am I a little undressed for this?" He peered down at himself before sticking one leg out, highlighting his civilian attire.

 

[Raz Solus]

She laughed at his words, “This is how I normally dress,” Raz grinned, “Me undressing was going all out,” She would have winked at him if she didn’t have her helmet on. It was clear that the tension was gone between them. All that was left behind was the burning question of exactly what they were to one another, but that could be pushed aside for now.

Raz patiently waited as he hopped on, plopping into the seat beside her. She couldn’t help but crack a smile again as he moved the very dangerous PIPE out of the way. She also had to shift around with her illegal disruptor to make room. There were several grenades as well that needed to be shuffled around. As he looked around, he would notice that no one gave a second glance at the droid. Basilisk were standard affair for her people, and they were in the heart of Keldabe.

She glanced over at him when he voiced his concerns about his clothing, “I don’t think you’ll need to worry about that,” Raz muttered, “Hold on tight,” She called out without explaining exactly where he was supposed to hold on. Without warning, Raz whirled the droid around, the beast beginning to speed towards a direction away from her apartment. The wind would rush through his hair and body as they rapidly cut towards the edge of the city.

Raz said nothing, her body leaned forward to better control the droid. It was clear she was enjoying this immensely, a huge smile on her face beneath the helmet. Within seconds, the droid abruptly took off, the lateral wing plates of the droid deploying as the beast took flight. They zoomed high into the air, gaining speed and height. The scenery began to blur around them on all sides, whizzing past them as the city began to fade away into the distance.

Beneath them, the terrain quickly began to turn from duracrete and steel to green vegetation and cliffs. If he listened carefully, he would be able to hear Raz laughing as she quickly flipped the beast and did a full rotation till it was upright again. It was a night and day difference from how she had been when he had maneuvered his ship around. It was clear that she had no qualms with heights or speed when it was on her trusty droid.

They began to approach some tall cliffs that had a long, roaring waterfall. The droid rose high in the air, before tilting entirely upright with Raz and Val seated back and gazing up at the sky. They were abruptly in free fall, the droid completely vertical as it careened downwards parallel to the waterfall. If Val tilted his head back just a little, his hair would get soaked by the water. Raz was laughing her head off, cheering and shouting in joy as they rapidly descended.

“What do you think?!” She shouted out before she burst out laughing. They still had some distance to go, and the descent was only picking up speed.

 

[The Eternal (?)]

Valentine couldn’t help but chuckle at her comment. He had to agree, it was rarer for him to see her in normal clothes civilian clothes than her usual Mandalorian armor. Either way, Val has hopped onto the droid and into his seat. Raz was armed to the teeth and he was a little surprised, wondering what the need for all the weapons was but decided to just go with it. For the small shuttles and people passing, none of them seem fazed at all of the sight of a basilisk and a fully armored clan member. It made Val smirk, knowing the sight of this anywhere else would cause massive fear and uproar. From what he could tell on this planet, it seemed that as long as you mind your own business, you could do quite well here. Val trusted Raz but when she told him not to worry about it, he couldn’t help but still raise his eyebrow at her, wondering what this was going to lead to.

When Raz informed him to hold onto something, Val glanced around himself, trying to find a suitable handheld, “Hold on to wh-“ She wheeled the droid around, cutting him off from his words, the massive legs of the creature thudding on the ground before it started to pick up speed. The moment he felt it turn, Val grabbed onto one of the metal plates near him, holding on tightly. He was used to the cockpit of a starfighter and that’s what he enjoyed. This was a completely different ordeal, the basilisk more beast then machine and no cockpit to protect them if they crashed. But Raz didn’t seem fazed and pressed forward, the beast still gaining speed before suddenly lifting off near the edge of the city, it’s mechanical plate wings sliding out as they went into the air.

Fear went through Val for a moment, not used to riding this but as he looked over the side and saw the scenery change, steel becoming living and thriving nature. Val drank it all in, staring with a gleeful look at the impressive scenery. The Jedi had always loved flying and this seemed to be its ultimate form, the wind whipping his face and carving through his hair. Not only could he hear Raz laughing, but he could also feel it, her happiness palpable and making him laugh as well. She made the beast do a full rotation and despite it making him feel like he was in zero-g, Val had to let out an audible cheer, clearly enjoying it as well. He wondered if he could ever get one of these for himself.

Raz flew them towards the formation of some cliffs, a waterfall flowing between the rocks and drowning out everything around it. Before they got to close, they suddenly shot straight in the air and were forced to look up at the sky. They started to freefall and it felt like Val’s stomach flew up to his chest but he was still having the time of his life. The droid fell right beside the waterfall and the Jedi could feel droplets splatter across his shoulders. Feeling that, he did tilt his head back, letting his hair get wet as he laughed out loud with Raz before running a hand through his hair.

Raz asked what he thought and he told her the truth, “This is amazing!” It was a different type of adrenaline rush and Val savored it. He didn’t fail to notice how much fun she was having and it made him remember her reaction to his flying. It was a complete one-eighty from when they first flown and also remembering the kick in the nuts he received for it. He decided to keep that observation to himself. But the two and the droid continued to free fall, making Val peer over the side and see the ground getting closer and closer. “Raz! We’re cutting it a little close!” He shouted, wondering if she knew how close the ground actually was.

 

[Raz Solus]

Raz barely heard him, enjoying herself entirely too much as they continued to fall. Just to terrify him a bit more, she pushed the button to make the wing-plates retract back into the droid. This spend up the descent and truly made it feel as if they would crash. However, mere feet from the ground, the plates came back out, the droid smoothly gliding around so it floated on its back. Raz and Val were entirely upside down and parallel to the lake at the bottom of the waterfall. They were partially submerged as the droid cleared the span of the lake before coming upright again.

The droid landed with a thud on the ground at the edge of the lake, and she didn’t waste time. She practically rolled off the droid while it was still moving, landing in a crouch on the ground before she began to walk, “Come on!” Her armor was waterproof, but she knew he wasn’t. He was likely soaked in his clothes, and she paid it no heed. Down here at the bottom of the valley, it was an entirely untouched and forested area.

There were birds and critters of all sorts chirping around them. The area was lush and rich with vegetation, flowers and other flora that he would never have seen before. There was a spectacular beauty to it all, and it was a stark contrast to the concrete jungle that was the heart of Keldabe. Raz didn’t stop, making her way through a path that was thick with trees and plants in the way. She had a beskad on her, but she didn’t chop through anything, respecting all the flora and brushing it aside gently as she made her way through.

After a while, she stepped into what appeared to be a cave. It slanted downwards, and she kept going until they could see light once more. This revealed to them a cenote that looked utterly unspoiled and uninhabited. Raz paused to let Val take a look, grinning beneath the helmet, “I discovered this place when I was a child. I came here when I wanted to run away from everything. It was where no one could ever find me and whenever I wanted to be away from everyone,” She glanced over at him, her gaze lingering on him for a moment. She wasn’t exactly sure why she mentioned all that. Perhaps it meant that he was becoming part of her safe place - something that confused and scared her at once.

Raz pushed the thought aside for now, taking her helmet off. She began to take her armor off, “It’s a nice place for a swim,” She kept taking the pieces off, and she didn’t even stop with the clothing underneath. Raz tossed the last articles of clothing off, stepping towards the water and dipping her toes in, “Ooh..” She looked over at him, trying not to laugh, “...It’s a bit cold.”

 

[The Eternal (?)]

Either Raz didn't hear him or she simply didn't care, the basilisk still free falling and showing no signs of slowing down. They were going faster and faster and Valentines's grip on the droid tightened, "Raz..." Val called out nervously, still barely able to be heard over the rushing wind. The plates then suddenly slid back into the beast, making their descent that much faster and the ground that much closer. Val built the force around himself, ready to lift him and Raz off of this thing and to the safety of solid land. But right as he thought it was going to be too late and ready to jump off with her, the plates flew back out flipping them upside and gliding across the lake. Val indeed wasn't waterproof and when the droid dunked them both in the water he was completely soaked to the bone when it happened.

When the droid slid across the ground Raz had already dropped from the basilisk and onto the ground, telling him to follow with. Val used the force to hop off as well, landing softly on the ground with a squelch. He glanced down at himself, already dripping as he shook his shoes to get some of the water out. "Wai-" Val had looked back up to find her but Raz was already leading the way through the fauna to somewhere. While normally it would have irritated someone, it only made Val smile and laugh, it being Raz to her core that he couldn't fault her for it. Val quickly followed after, needing her as a guide in this unfamiliar territory for him. Wherever this was, the valley and the life it held was breathtaking. Everything was untouched by man and it showed, different types of colorful plants and creatures surrounding them. Some of them light up while others were muted in color, completely speechless as they navigated through this.

Val noticed that even with the thick fauna, Raz paid attention not to harm any of it. The Jedi followed suit, gently using the force to push any plants out of the way for both of them to navigate easily through the forest. Reaching out with his senses, the force was alive and well, pulsating through everything around him. Val could only breathe it in, letting it flow through him and overwhelm his senses. Raz eventually found the entrance to the cave, not hesitating to enter and Val following directly behind her. It was at a slant and eventually, they could see some light at the end, Val wondering what it was. When they entered the cenote, Raz would see Val completely taken back by the sight, his gaze roaming everywhere as he tried to soak it all in. He had never seen anything like it before, the water crystal clear with an opening above them that let the light in.

When Raz spoke, Val brought his gaze over to her, listening to the story of how she discovered this place and what it meant to her. He didn't know what to say to her but he was touched that she would show him this place. It made his heart beat faster slightly at realizing he was probably the only other person that knew about this tiny cave. It meant a lot to him that Raz would share that information and something flickered across his eyes as he looked back to her. Before he could say anything, she told him that it was a nice place to swim and he couldn't help but grin. Taking off pieces of her armor and some of her clothing, his eyes slowly scanned over her back and the rest of her ample features. Raz dipped her toes in and informed him that it was cold, causing Val to smirk as he ran a hand through his already soaked hair before beginning to peel off his own clothes.

It took him a few moments before he was bare as well, his gaze locked with her's the entire time as he undressed. When he walked over to her, one of his arms went around her waist and lifted her up and making her legs wrap around him. "Let me warm you up then." He murmured softly with a chuckle, Val leaning towards her before capturing her lips, kissing her gently as he pulled her tighter against his body. While they did this he slowly stepped into the water, it reaching his hips before he slowly dipped into the water with her. The water was around both their necks, Val smiling at Raz before kissing her once more, "Thank you for showing me this. It means a lot to me." Val didn't know what she fully meant to him but this simple gesture had an effect on him he didn't predict and he was happy for it.

 

[Raz Solus]

Raz turned to look at him as he closed the distance between them. She didn’t protest as he reached to easily pick her up. She put her arms around his neck - both real and cybernetic. She was slowly getting used to this, even though she couldn’t feel anything with the metallic arm. Raz kept her gaze on his, her legs wrapping around his hips as he began to carry them towards the water. She returned the kiss, focused on that as he began to descend into the water. As she felt the cold water brush against her body, she gasped against his mouth, holding him tighter to keep warm.

She opened her eyes and looked at him, noticing that his attention was fully on her and he was unfazed by the water. Raz relished the feeling of their bodies pressed against one another, nuzzling into the warmth he provided. She closed her eyes as her face buried into the crook of his neck. She couldn’t explain why she loved this so much, or why she was even behaving like this at all. Her armor - both physically and metaphorically - was off. It was a scary place to be, but she couldn’t imagine it any other way.

Raz’s body was covered in goosebumps from the cold, and she continued to hold onto him. She didn’t release him even as they were neck deep in, the light from above bathing them now. Raz smiled at his words, retracting her intact arm to brush a few strands of his hair away from his forehead. She traced the fingers down the side of his face, gazing into his eyes, “I wouldn’t show this to anyone else, cyar’ika,” Raz leaned in to steal a kiss from him. She let him go then, pushing back from him to float on her back in the water.

She gazed up at the skies above, blinking up into the sun. There was nothing but the sounds of distant birds and critters. It was surreal, there was not a single rev of an engine anywhere in sight. There were no sounds of speeders, of people, or anything but the nature around them. Raz lazily waded back in the water, smiling up above her.

“You can forget everything when you come here,” She said cheerfully, “Every worry, every bit of stress...all of it just falls away like droplets of water. My father used to get so angry with me when I would disappear for hours on end,” Raz paused for a moment, “Simpler times. When my biggest worry was what would happen if I stayed out past curfew.”

 

[The Eternal (?)]

Feeling the brisk temperature of the water, Valentine drawing her no closer as he tilted his head slightly so she can bury hers in his neck. He could only smile at the feeling, also relishing the warmth that was between the two from their bodies. The hole above them provided nice ambient lighting, giving the water a striking blue color while the plants were a vibrant green all around her. With Raz in his arms, he swore it was the most beautiful scene he had ever laid eyes on and he and he burned into his memory. Val felt her cybernetic arm draped over his shoulders and he was still getting used to it as well, feeling both flesh and cold metal at the same time. He knew she could take care of herself but Val was there in the battle as well and he wished he could have at least tried to prevent it but the past was in the past now. It didn't bother him at all and never would, he would always see her as Raz, the woman who somehow could control his heart and what he thought with just simple words.

She brushed a few strands of his hair before tracing her finger down his face, goosebumps slowly rising from both the temperature and the gesture. Raz told him that she would have never shown anyone else this place before calling him a word in her native language. Val had no clue what it meant but it certainly sounded better at least then the first name she bestowed upon him. He felt her emotions and feelings behind the word and Val couldn't help but smile at her, leaning in as well to kiss her. But before she could push off, his hand slipped into her hair, deepening the kiss and making it last a few more seconds. Since Raz couldn't read his own feelings, he conveyed it through the kiss before letting her push off and away from him. She floated on her back, staring up at the clear skies as the only sound was from nature itself. Val cherished this, enjoying the natural peace that this cave brought.

When Raz spoke, Val looked over to her with an arched eyebrow before standing up, the water dripping from his body as he waded towards her. "Raz Solus? Worrying about curfew? I wish I could have seen her then." He laughed softly as he closed the distance between them, his arm slipping under the arch of her back and kept her floating right in front of him without moving. Val leaned down to her stomach, his lips kissing where different water droplets were and leaving tiny little marks there. It was obvious the power this place had in letting you forget, unable to tell that a war was raging on outside and everywhere across the galaxy. But the little information she gave him lit up the curious part of his mind, this being the first time he had ever heard of her childhood. Pulling back away from her and slipping his hand out from her back, Val turned around before lowering himself in the water once more before turning on his back so he was floating just like her. With the force, it kept them close together as they floated around with a few inches of distance between them. It also pushed them slowly in water, making them go around in a circle and following the edge of the light. "I can definitely see what you mean." He murmured softly, already seeming to forget everything outside this moment.

Val stared up at the sky as well, thinking to himself for a few moments before finally mustering the courage to ask, "What was your life like? Do you have any brothers and sisters?" He was genuinely curious and he wanted to know more about her, not just now but her whole life. Val wanted to know what made Raz, Raz. Then another question popped into his head and he couldn't help but chuckle as his gaze remained on the sky, "Did you actually just stumble into our camp on accident back then?" Val thought he already knew the answer but either way he thought it would be humorous to ask, solving the long lost mystery of how they first met.

 

[Raz Solus]

She had to smile at his words. In many ways, she was still that same girl. She was certainly just as feisty, if not more. Her actions had larger repercussions now, and she spoke for many people now. Was her father proud of how far she had come? It had been some time since she had gone to visit him. Raz was distracted from her thoughts when Val came closer, his arm sliding under her back to support her where she was floating. She tilted her head over to look at him curious. He leaned in and kissed lightly along her stomach, the subtle gesture sending a shiver through her. His lips felt feathery soft against her skin, and she could only smile as she watched him.

Before he could move away, she tugged him closer with her cybernetic arm, giving him a playful kiss on the cheek. She let him go to float on his back, and she waded around as best as she could manage with her metal arm. It felt odd, and it felt heavier in the water and uncomfortable. Nevertheless, she wasn’t the type to complain and she simply worked her way through it. She was distracted from the struggle when he spoke, and she was silent for a moment. There was a faint grimace on her face, but it passed as soon as it appeared.

“I have a brother..” She muttered quietly. It was clear that her relationship with the brother was strained, and he would be able to sense the fluctuation of negative emotions suddenly whirling through her, “We’re not on the best of terms...for several years now,” She lingered on the thought for a bit before he asked her another curious question. This caused her to actually turn over and go upright, treading water as she gazed at him. There was a look of curiosity on her face as she floated there.

“It was shortly after my village had been attacked,” She finally explained, “A small group of us and I were on the run and we were starving. I went looking into the woods to go hunting and that’s when I was shot and captured,” Raz grinned at him then, “I don’t think we would be here like this if those pirates hadn’t attacked and interrupted everything,” The entire scenario would have been different. She would have remained captured and probably imprisoned, and she never would have ended up as a Clan or House leader like she was today.

She could only gaze at him for a long moment, “Why did you… go all the way with me? Why not with anyone before this?” It had been burning in her mind for some time, “Was it because of your Jedi principles? Does it change anything for you as a Jedi because you did?”

 

[The Eternal (?)]

Valentine laughed softly at the unexpected kiss on his cheek, wondering where that came from. Raz was one to surprise him as well, sometimes taken off guard by her gentle and subtle gestures as well. They floated through the water together, it gently lapping against their skin. He could see however that Raz was struggling with her cybernetic arm, attempting to wade smoothly as him. With the force, he subtly applied it under Raz and helped her stay up, making the weight of her hand more bearable so it didn't put her out of balance. When Val asked her the question if she had any family, he caught the grimace that flashed across her face for a brief second. Even if he had missed that, the negative emotions in her were easy to sense and it was clear that this was a sensitive subject. Raz had a brother out there but he left it at that, not wanting to draw out bad memories for her.

Raz finally provided the answer to how she stumbled into his old camp. He was saddened to hear that it was because of such desperate conditions but couldn't help but smirk. If she had just told them she was hungry, it would have spared the whole process of them interrogating her and locking her up. "You could have just told us you were hungry Pip." When she mentioned that they wouldn't be here in this moment without the pirates attacking, Val realized that she was right. It forced them to work together and if they hadn't met each other then the pirates would have most likely picked them off one by one. Especially her if they caught her before they did. "You're quite right, I guess we should go thank them if we left any alive back there." He remembered the firefights they had and the fortress they stormed together. It was one of the most intense situations of his life and he suffered more close calls that day than anywhere else.

Raz then asked him her own questions, asking why she was the first he ever had and if it was because he was a Jedi. He didn't know how to answer at first, not really knowing how to form into words. Val then went upright as well, his gaze locked on her's as he waded through the water as well. "I've lived my life more of a soldier than a Jedi, I wouldn't say it was principle... it was just." Val paused for a moment before continuing, "Maybe I just wasn't ready at the time. I barely knew what I wanted back then and was just trying to figure out how to walk on my own feet." It was true, he didn't even know who his parents were back then and he was then just trying to earn his place amongst his unit. Val brought his gaze back to Raz's, the reflective light from the water making his amber eyes shine brightly. "You're unapologetic, you fight for what you believe in and you don't let anything stop you. I cherish that about you." She stood out from everyone else, preferring action and actual change compared to just discussing and hoping the best in the future. Val had run across too many people like that in this galaxy and she was a breath of fresh air for him.

"Not only that but I also know what I want now and it's you. Do I think it will change me as a Jedi the way you think it will? No. I think it will make me stronger. I have something to return to, something close to my heart to fight for." Val didn't know what to call this but she had an effect on him. Not only did he worry just about the Order but Raz, hoping that she was okay while he was off doing his duty as a Jedi. "I don't know what this is but you are my spark and I can't deny it anymore." Val tried to word how he felt but it was difficult, this being his first time he ever felt something like this. He didn't even know if his words made sense to her but it was the closest he could come to describe it. Val couldn't help but chuckle softly after his words, "Did you ever see yourself with a lowly Jedi?" In the past, he felt the disdain inside her whenever he used the force around her before but it was completely different now and he wondered what changed.