Ask Point of no return

[Clove Vanhoop]

---

The galaxy had awoken one day to the news of terror: planets were being attacked by Killiks, a once-thought-extinct species of bug-like creatures. Citizens, regardless of faction or origin, all grabbed their weapons and fought back as bravely as they could. It was a bloodbath, with survivors trickling in one by one at the many refueling stations.

Clove was one of those fighters; she'd just flown back from Thyferra to one of the more central refueling space stations. She was able to remove some of the guts and flesh that were still lodged in her once-perfection hair and apply some bacta to the worst of her wounds during the flight. It wasn't much, but it was enough to give her the willpower to finally get herself out of her chair, albeit while heavily leaning on her pink cane.

What a day. She went from seeing almost no one for six months to fighting for Bacta, as well as the lives of herself and her newfound allies.

The half-Annfyn lowered herself down the ramp with small and painful steps, her large eyes staring at the busy space station packed with men and women either returning from the field or preparing to give their lives to protect the galaxy from those bugs. After a few seconds of staring, her small frame began to move through the crowd, but it wasn't her height that was helping her. No, the dried blood streaks on her ruined pink coat, unevenly melted hair, and skin reeked almost as bad as Pootalina on a good day. It was bad enough that the crowd split like a mythical ocean, all while making a disgusted face. But Clove ignored it; all she wanted was to find something to eat before heading back to her shuttle.

While she had no idea where she was going, her nose and the sound of plates and forks pointed her in the direction of one of the few 'restaurants.' Although one could hardly call them restaurants. Still, it was more than enough for Clove. And there it was, nothing more than a greasy counter with a human chef grilling hamburgers. "Hello." She spoke to the man while looking up at the menu's lit-up signs on the wall. "Hmmm... I'd like to order one normal hamburger with bacon, please. Oh, an' I'd like a milkshake, vanilla." The man grumbled as he lifted his nose and turned his back on the girl, preparing the order.

Clove sat on one of the chairs while waiting for the burger, taking in the sights around her and the people passing by.

---

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tagged @Sreeya ​

 

[Altair Din]

Despite the Sith aiding the Alliance Senators and helping fight off the Killik threat, they still had a commanding and intimidating presence. As such, Clove would suddenly hear a bit of commotion as people began to whisper and mutter. People began to step aside and clear the path of a group of Imperials that strode through the station. It was clear they had all been deployed for combat and were returning back to Imperial territory.

The soldiers walked past where Clove was sitting, row after row of armored and intimidating Imperials passing by. The other civilians shifted uncomfortably and watched the display, a hushed silence filling the immediate area. This was doubled as they saw who was bringing up the very back of the group of soldiers passing by. A prominent, horned helmet loomed behind the soldiers, eventually revealing a tall figure in black armor with a spade pointed tail.

The troops all passed but the armored, commanding officer walking behind them paused very briefly. He stopped near the burger stall just for a moment, caught as if frozen in time. A lot of internal things happened then. A lot of memories flourished, a lot of wounds were torn open, a lot of past anguish poured out. All of it was enough to where Clove would feel a pulse in the Force, one of many emotions at once. He was suddenly reminded of shared promises, giggles he had fallen in love with, tender touches, shy gazes and the exhilaration and cruelty of love in all its glory. Yet all she would see was the cold visor of a black, horned helmet slowly tilting to regard her in silence.

He gazed at her only for a second or two before he looked forward again. No words were shared or exchanged. He took a step, and then another and kept walking. His men sat down in the general cafeteria ahead and he went to join them.

@LilyNion

 

[Clove Vanhoop]

---

Even though she was no longer a Jedi and thus no threat, the sight of the Imperial soldiers marching by made her shoulders stiffen. Instinct, she'd call it herself. Sure, she had plenty of Sith friends, she even partied with them! But that wasn't like the armored soldiers marching to the same beat. She'd spent years being afraid of those armored imperial soldiers, knowing that her presence as a Jedi could easily set them off.

As the march came to an end, time began to slow down. There, at the back, she saw it; four horns. She knew these were not just any four horns. She ran her hand over them, she held onto them. They were her favorite horns. When she took her gaze away from the horns, all she saw was an empty and cold visor staring back at her. Visors she'd seen in pictures, tied to the butcher of Thelian. Maybe they weren't the violet eyes she'd grown to adore, but they were unmistakably Altair's. Her breath became shallow and her hands fell limp on her lap.

Before she could say anything else, time suddenly continued and the Tiefling had joined the rest of the soldiers in the general cafeteria ahead. Clove's stomach curled into a ball, the smell of grease and fries suddenly nauseating her. Why, of all places, was Altair here? She planned to find him and offer him some beautiful flowers while looking her best. Now... she hasn't looked this bad since Yavin IV and was left empty-handed, minus an apology.

But she was tired of running, wasn't she? Hadn't she said that over and over the last few weeks? She had to face it and take responsibility.

The half-Annfyn inhaled deeply and rose to her feet, leaving the hamburger stand behind; the hamburger could wait. Clove approached the soldiers, restraining herself from fiddling with the hems of her bloodied sleeves. Altair's horns stood out sharply among the seated imperial troopers, making him easy to find among the crowd. She took a nervous but determined step in his direction until she was almost next to him. Being so close to him brought back vivid images of his scent and the warmth of his body, leaving her with a deep sense of longing. Longing to feel his arms around her and continue where they left off. What happens next? Was it okay to mention his name? Did anyone know his name at all? Or was it a secret? No, better be safe than sorry. "Hey..." Her voice was much softer than usual, and her hanging fluted ears revealed how nervous she was. "Can we, uh, talk somewhere? Just for two minutes."

She wasn't going to force him to stay; all she wanted was to explain and apologize for what had happened. She hoped he would stay, forgive her, and embrace her. But after the man looked at her and walked away, her hopes were low. But she had to tell him, even if it was the last thing she'd do. Preferably without being surrounded by soldiers.

---

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tagged @Sreeya ​

 

[Altair Din]

He would rather have faced a thousand Killik than have gone through seeing Clove again. He had only paused for a moment, and even that almost unraveled him right there. However, he couldn’t falter near his soldiers. He found himself seated near them, many of them removing their helmets to order food and eat. Despite the intimidating presence, they were regular men and women with shared camaraderie. There was chatter, a few jokes, but mostly discussion about Ruusan.

“-But you really took charge in there, didn’t you, boss?”

Altair was taken out of his thoughts when he realized he was being addressed. He finally reached for his helmet and removed it, setting it down on the table. He could already feel a few passerby glances on him from surprise that it wasn’t just a fancy helmet and that he really did naturally have all four horns. The tiefling fixed up his hair, idly circling a spoon in the bowl of stew he paid for, “Yeah I guess,” He said with a vague shrug.

“Come on, you don’t have to be so modest!”

“You see that Wookiee Senator barreling towards our shuttle?”

“Conveniently forgot all about how much he hates us when his hairy ass was in trouble.”

Laughter broke out amidst the group. Altair largely ignored all of it, a faraway look on his face. He rested his chin on his palm as he continued to play with his food. After a moment, he realized the chatter stopped. Altair glanced up to spot Clove near him. He noticed her drooped ears at first, a sight that always bothered him in the past. He said nothing at first, frozen in place. He didn’t even want to look at her, his body stiffening a little.

“Hey, why don’t you piss off?” One of the stormtroopers called out to Clove, “That’s our commanding officer you just waltzed up to.”

“And go take a fuckin’ shower while you’re at it, you stink!”

Altair simply stared forward, not speaking up for her or responding to her in any way. His gaze drilled into the floor past his table. After a few seconds, he finally rose from his seat, giving a hand signal for his soldiers to pause. The tiefling had no real desire to engage Clove in any way, but he also didn’t want his people to see that anyone could have any impact on him.

“At ease,” He told his soldiers as he stepped back from his table, “I’ll return shortly.”

With that, he turned towards Clove, an icy chill in his gaze that was entirely different than the warmth she was used to. He tried not to think about all the time he had spent agonizing over her. All the messages and calls he had left that she had blatantly ignored. The smart thing to do would have been to let his men tell her to fuck off and forget this encounter ever happened. And yet he found himself walking with her. Perhaps it was because it would offer some kind of closure - something he desperately desired.

@LilyNion

 

[Clove Vanhoop]

---

Clove ignored the troopers' calls, her gaze fixed on the Tiefling instead. He looked so different, even though he was still Altair. But the warmth she cherished so deeply seemed so far away, distant, as if it had vanished. What had happened in those six months? Why did he feel like a stranger, or was it because he thought she was a stranger too? Doubt grew stronger as the seconds passed in silence. But the Tiefling eventually spoke up before giving her an icy stare.

Despite feeling even worse than she already did, Clove turned on her heels and led the way to a distant corner. Away from prying eyes and ears, giving them the privacy that such a sensitive conversation deserved.

The half-Annfyn took a moment to turn around, her gaze rising to meet the Tiefling's. She had prepared an entire speech for when she saw him again, but now that she was there, face to face with the man she had fought so hard for, the speech no longer felt right. Instead, she opened her lips, allowing the words to flow from her heart instead. "I'm so sorry for disappearin' like that. I... completely lost the plot. Slammed my comlink against the wall and, well, it took me months to get out of it. Today is the first time I've gone off-planet ever since." She chose to keep it short and to the point because the last thing the conversation needed was her sadness while apologizing. All he needed to know was what had happened, not how troubled she'd been. "Anyway, words are one thing; anyone can apologize and then continue to make the same mistakes. So, I left the Jedi order. So instead of bein' a tool, I can be Clove, like you told me on Kashyyyk."

Clove took a deep breath in. "But... those explanations and actions won't change the fact that I disappeared on you. What can I do to fix this, Altair? Can it be fixed? Because I'm not done fightin' for you. Is there anythin' you want to say or... I don't know, scream? Anythin' you want to know?" She'd try to stay calm no matter what he threw at her. She had to. He had every right to be angry.

---

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tagged @Sreeya ​

 

[Altair Din]

Altair stood like a statue as she spoke, his expression so blank it could even rival that of Emryc Thorne’s. He hardly looked at her, staring past her as she spoke. She would notice that his tail didn’t even betray any emotions then, hanging slightly off the ground but also not eagerly swaying like it often did with her. By the time she finished speaking, he crossed his arms over his chest. He could recall all the confusion and hurt he felt at her absence. He thought of all the promises they had made, how he had actually been willing to run away with her. All of that sounded as if it had happened for someone else and not him. It felt like he had been dreaming and he was rudely awakened.

“What the fuck do you want, Clove?” Altair asked curtly, an icy chill in his tone. He finally looked at her, suddenly appearing more daunting in appearance. He had many more words for her, but they died in his throat. In many ways, he didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing how destroyed and shattered he was from her actions. How he actively avoided dating or getting into relationships since because they always, always ended the same way. With Clove, he foolishly mistook it for a glimpse of the kind of bond his parents shared - an understanding so deep that it could survive anything. He had been so sure of it that he had given her his original Matukai gloves. He had been so sure of it that to this day he still hadn’t destroyed the necklace she had given him no matter how badly he wanted to. However, she had now turned her back on him for a second time and had turned up again whenever it was convenient for her.

“I’m not a fucking toy for you to play with whenever you feel like and put away on a shelf the rest of the time,” Altair practically spat out the words, “You play all innocent and good, but you’re more manipulative and twisted than most Sith I know,” He scowled at her, his tail flicking with agitation. It took every fiber of his being to keep his cool right then, every last bit of self control to keep from shouting at her. His fingers curled into fists, but he slowly unflexed them, exhaling slowly. He almost hoped Clove would pick a fight with him so he could have an excuse to be the bigger person and storm off.

@LilyNion

 

[Clove Vanhoop]

---

It admittedly took Clove a deep breath to not instantly flare up into a wave of anger the moment Altair fired back with assumptions and insults. Because while she let it hurt her and piss her off on Dantooine, she'd now face it with calm and peace, even understanding. For as long as she could, anyway. Yes, he was unfair for claiming she's twisted and manipulative despite not knowing half of the pain and struggles she'd been going through just to get here. Seeing nothing but her worst nightmares play in repeat over and over while losing grip on reality. But could she blame him? Not entirely. In his eyes, she just happily disappeared and that's that.

Although it stung her how quickly he assumed she'd been playing, always assuming the worst.

"I don't see you as a toy, Altair, an' I didn't mean to push you away." She didn't back down from his intimidating gaze or the way he spat the words at her, nor did she raise her voice or change her body language to be more hostile. "An' I'm so sorry if you feel like I manipulated you, but I swear to the Force, on my mother and father, I didn't mean to. I broke down, smashed the comlink, and went months without seein' anyone. You know how much I adore my parents, an' even they haven't seen me in months." She paused. "I know I should've let you in, but even if I had been in a mental state where I could have reached out to you, I didn't have the means to do so. Not until about a week or so ago. But, Altair, I meant every word I said before disappearin'. I still do."

"An' what I want? Preferably another chance to fix it and fight for you, or at the very least... be friends." Because it was better than nothing, though she wasn't sure if that was even a possibility. "But if none of that is possible, then at the very least I want you to know that it was never done to play with you. Or hurt you, even if that ultimately ended up happenin'. I would never have given you my entire body that night if I didn't love you. But you deserve happiness, and if I can't give you that... then at the very least I want to give you closure after six months." Clove's eyes began to sting as she struggled to keep her emotions at bay, her fingers nervously reaching for the hem of her sleeves and her ears twitching. She felt so small and so little, the galaxy bit by bit growing smaller and lonelier.

---

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tagged @Sreeya ​

 

[Altair Din]

Altair’s jaw tightened as she spoke, his face and body completely rigid. He was glad that none of his soldiers were around to see this. They knew him as the relaxed, but disciplined commander that always kept a level head during missions. Instead now he felt as if he were being unraveled and pulled apart easily by the diminutive half Annfyn before him. The tiefling’s nostrils flared and he pointedly looked away when Clove used the word love. It was a jolt that reverberated through him, and at the same time a knife through his chest.

“Don’t use that word,” He said as he glared at her, interrupting her words, “Don’t tell me you love me. Don’t do that,” Altair’s voice faltered just a bit when he said it, and he exhaled to get his bearings again. It was a word he had come to despise. It was a reality he wanted to turn back from, one he wanted to undo and erase, but he couldn’t. He had never shared the words with Clove, but they both knew what they felt. Just as her ears were twitching, his tail flicked and did the same.

Altair wanted to brush off her words, but he knew she wasn’t the type to keep away from her own family for that long. The tiefling was silent for a long moment, staring at the ground briefly before he looked at her again, “You been back and you ain’t even bother to find me or reach out. We just happened to run into each other at this station and you’re expectin’ me to just forgive you and start calling you my girl. Is that it, Clove? Is that your plan here?”

He paused for a moment before he glanced over towards the soldiers and then looked back at her, “You may have left the Jedi, but I haven’t left the Sith. If anythin’, I’m more loyal now. I got accepted into the Ziost military academy and I’m an Imperial officer. I won’t change what I am for you. I won’t appease your moral codes,” He took a step closer to her, always towering over her, “So tell me again how you wanna fix things when you couldn’t even stomach Dantooine or New Alderaan? Tell me how you’re gonna welcome me into your arms after I come back from burning a world, after killing people you once called friends,” He moved even closer then, his eyes narrowed to slits, his broad chest that she once rested her head against looming so close and yet trillions of miles away, “I ain’t a fairytale prince charming you write about in some little diary. I’m a Sith and I’m fuckin’ proud of it and the reality is that even without bein' a Jedi you can't stand it. You only ever liked one side of me - the only bits you can tolerate.”

@LilyNion

 

[Clove Vanhoop]

---

Clove took a deep breath as he interrupted her, telling her not to use the word 'Love.' Despite the fact that the Tiefling should've known how she felt about him and that she did, in fact, love him, every emotion that night was as clear as day. She didn't push it, though; she wasn't here to fight or make enemies. She had come to make things right. And by disobeying his simple request, she would only make matters worse. So she moved on, nodding faintly.

"No, this is my first time leavin' Yavin 8. I've just gotten my hands on my new commlink. I saw you fight that Killik on the holonet an'... well, I realized I wouldn't be able to make it to Ruuzan and be useful there, but Thyferra was under attack, as was the Bacta, so I figured I might as well go there. An', well, reachin' out on Switter after a half-year disappearance seemed like the worst option: 'hey, I'm sorry I've been gone but nice new Switter pic!' My original plan was to find you and bring you some flowers." She took a deep breath in. "But, no. I don't expect you to forgive me and start callin' me your girl."

Clove remained where she was, her head rising as he began to tower over her, reminding her of the pleasant memories and how everything had changed. But where his eyes turned into slits, Clove's remained relaxed. As relaxed as could be. "I couldn't stomach Dantooine or New Alderaan because the deaths of thousands of people were my fault, my mistake. I'm not a good fighter, at least not in the way I used to fight. I understand that now. An' that's partly why I've decided to go my own way and leave the Jedi, ensurin' that I'll never be in that situation again." She paused, unsure how far she should push things. But then... what did she have to lose?

She was already one step away from never seeing Altair again, so she might as well be completely honest about everything now.

"You keep thinkin' I can't handle you being a Sith, that I don't tolerate those sides of you. But you don't seem to understand that everythin' on my body is a waking reminder of you bein' a Sith, or your life as a Sith. Those tattooed lightsabers on my wrist? One of those belonged to Thelian, the Jedi with white hair you killed. I cried for hours over his death. The scars on my body and the paralyzation? Caused by Aadya, your ex who I saw you kiss on that beach. Meanwhile, thanks to you, I now have a cybernetic spine. Trust me, I didn't get drunk on your birthday because I like alcohol." She tipped her chin slightly to get a better look into his eyes. "I understand you are a Sith. I understand that you kill and butcher. I saw you lyin' in that field of corpses on Dantooine, an' instead of seein' you as a murderer or a monster, I stood up against the Rebels an' protected you. I fought for you as you flatlined, while you were covered in the blood of your enemies. And I know who your friends are an' what they are capable of."

"An' yet I'm still here. Talkin' to you. I still gave you my everythin' on my birthday, let you feel the scars and see the tattoos. Yes, I messed up savin' you on Dantooine, but it wasn't because I saw you as a Sith. That's because I was an idiot an' my only plan was to blow up the hospital to fake your death, which should tell you how minuscule my skillset is in that regard." Clove lowered her gaze to the ground, her fingers fully grasping her hem in shame. "You are right on one point though: I wouldn't welcome you home with an embrace if you set fire to the entire planet. I draw the line at genocide."

She finally lifted her large brown eyes to his after a second of silence. "But, can I be the girl you want me to be? I'm not the type of girl who can pull off grand escapes or prison breaks. I don't break the law, an' when I do, it makes me nauseated. I don't have any real power an' I'm apparently as stable as a crooked wooden door. An'... I hurt you... over and over... without even meaning to. Is that okay for you, or even enough for you?"

---

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tagged @Sreeya ​

 

[Altair Din]

Altair was silent as she spoke, and he was genuinely surprised she managed to say it all without storming off herself or lashing out. They had been absolutely terrible at communicating in the past when they were both hurt. Altair wanted to believe that she couldn’t impact him in any way anymore, but his posture, his tail and his very aura in the Force betrayed that. She wasn’t trying to hide any of it and brazenly spoke of her love, but he had put in his time in an effort to move on from her.

He looked away when she rattled off all the ways she sported marks of the Sith. He vividly recalled the scars on her body and the tattoos as well. He remembered every bit of her flawless torso except for where the tattoos had hidden her wounds. Altair looked at her again, his glare momentarily replaced with surprise. He heard her tone as she described seeing him kiss Aadya on the beach. She had wanted him even back then? Had she intended to reveal that? How long had he been oblivious? No. He wouldn’t even explore that line of thought. None of it mattered. He decided it didn’t matter and he wouldn’t let those thoughts live in his head rent free.

Altair barely processed what she said, never having seen much from that perspective. He ran his hand through his hair, resisting the urge to pace or walk away. He was further thrown off by her turning things around on him and asking if she could be the girl for him. It was so brazen it felt like a Matukai punch to the face that left him reeling. He had always felt as if he were chasing her and he never once imagined that she likely wanted to seek him out as well. However, he couldn’t easily forget those days he spent absolutely devastated and crushed. Somehow it had been even worse than the experience with who he thought was his first love back on Bandomeer.

“I got far too much respect for myself to keep lettin’ you put my heart into a blender over and over again, Clove,” Altair stated flatly, though it was clear it took every fiber of his being to keep a straight face then, “Some emotional words ain’t gonna make me forget the hell you put me through, especially when I know you’ll be gone again by tomorrow,” He had closed himself off since she disappeared from his life, and he had been wary about any serious relationships then. He wasn’t going to simply believe Clove at face value anymore no matter how much it stung.

“Is there anything else you wanted to discuss? 'Cause if not, it’s been real, but I gotta get back to my soldiers,” Altair stated calmly, though he couldn’t bear to look at her.

@LilyNion

 

[Clove Vanhoop]

---

Defeat was the only emotion coursing through her body as Altair replied with a flat tone. She just opened up with every single secret and admitted things she never wanted to admit, all in the hopes to show the Tiefling how much she truly cared for him and loved him. And all he gave her was a trembling mask in return.

The girl's shoulders slumped, her eyes revealing a mix of pain and rage. While he was explaining how she'd betray him again, he never made the effort to pay her a visit on Yavin 8 and see if she was even remotely okay. She could've died and he would've assumed she had ghosted him. Kriff! He never once mentioned how he'd be dead on Dantooine without her. No. He did nothing but assume the worst. Even if she could disprove his assumptions, it would never be enough. Still. She couldn't go and ruin it now.

Even though her ears and eyes revealed how close she was to screaming, the half-Annfyn's voice remained calm, minus the occasional tremble. "I respect that. I can't make you trust me overnight; it takes time." Clove lowered her gaze to the Matukai gauntlets as she spoke as gently as she could, although it became clear she was fighting the urge to fire a rain of words. She couldn't deny the trembling in her fingers as she fiddled with the openings, but she managed to slide them off her hands. "I won't disappear again. Altair, I'm done runnin'. But because everythin' takes time to heal, I won't force anythin' on you. You know where to find me if you ever want to talk again." She lowered her brows briefly before extending the gauntlets to him. "They stink a little of Killik blood, but... well. I don't mean this as a goodbye or a weird jab to hurt you. It's just not fair for me to keep them after I've ruined your trust and broken your heart. Maybe, one day, I can earn them back. But not today." It was clear she wasn't going to take no for an answer, nor would she let him leave without the gauntlets. She'd chase him if she had to.

Clove had to clear her throat while her eyes stung more and more, her lashes batting desperately to keep the tears at bay. "I plan to build a hospital with free healthcare where no law can interfere. Meaning that everybody, no matter who they are, is allowed to get help. Once I find a planet willin' to let me build it, your... soldiers and you are always welcome." She swallowed harshly to the point it deafened her ears for a second, and she was certain he could hear it too. "I appreciate you lettin' me talk and listenin' to me. Thank you. An' keep my heart safe; I'm not interested in giving it to anyone else."

---

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tagged @Sreeya ​

 

[Altair Din]

There were many more words that could have been said. Words of explanations to clear up misunderstandings. And yet Altair did none of it. He didn’t tell her that he only showed up to her birthday because he understood that he was only alive because of her on Dantooine. He didn’t tell her he chased after her like a madman all the way to Yavin 8 and had tried to track down any casualty reports in skirmishes because he originally believed her to be dead. But in his heart, through the bond they had unwittingly shared, he knew she was alive. And then he recalled her speaking about taking time to reflect doing barash vow or whatever the fuck she called it. It all came together and he knew he hadn’t been a part of the plan, that her little yoga retreat meant pushing him out as well. None of her explanations swayed him or made him willing to trust her immediately again.

Altair’s gaze flicked down towards the gloves he had given her, spotting the ruggedness. A part of him was genuinely pleased to see them actually put to use. When she attempted to hand them over, he didn’t react initially, quietly staring at the gloves and where he saw his own name scribbled by the eight year old version of himself. He didn’t reach for the gloves and he simply stood like a statue.

As she spoke about the hospital, Altair continued to say nothing. It was nothing like the animated and cheerful man she knew. It was nothing like the man that happily cooked and baked or brought her a handmade birthday cake. It took him a while to finally come to life, and he inhaled deeply as he closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he didn’t look at her, didn’t focus on where he could see the tears threatening to fall from her eyes or the way her ears drooped. Instead, he stared ahead towards where his soldiers were sitting. His head was held high, his jaw square and rigid.

“Everything I’ve given you,” He said quietly and paused there to let her completely grasp the implications of what he was saying - promises made when they were still lying on the grass under the stars. When he said the next words, his voice was even quieter as he fought to keep emotions out of it, “Still belongs to you."

Altair still didn’t look at her, “Take care of yourself, Clove,” He stated flatly as he finally strode past her. He almost brushed against her as he passed, but she would feel nothing but a touch of air as he did so.

@LilyNion

 

[Clove Vanhoop]

---

Song​

He didn't take the gauntlets- why didn't Altair just take the gauntlets?! Clove's cheeks began to flush with frustration as he stood there like a statue, unmoving, unwilling to take it. His gaze had shifted to the air beside her, avoiding her. Was it because she was no longer worthy of his attention, or did it hurt too much to look? Whatever it was, it only added to the pain and frustration. Why didn't he just do something?!

And then he finally came to life.

Colors faded when he said words that pierced her heart like a dagger, taking her breath away in ways she'd never felt before. Dantooine's heartache was nothing compared to the sensation of her muscles tearing in her chest. It would have been much easier to just say goodbye and assume he didn't care. To be enraged and upset at him. And yet, his heart belonged in her hands, and hers in his. He cared in ways he couldn't show, and she cared in ways they couldn't accept. Was that their fate? A never-ending scream of love that could never be answered?

Clove lowered her hands slowly, her fingers squeezing the gauntlet to the point where her knuckles turned pale white. She should've said something, but everything had already been said. Only time mattered now. Her large brown eyes followed the Tiefling as he passed her and for a brief moment she thought she'd feel his arms brush against hers one last time. But all that remained was the air brushing against her shoulder. "Take care, Altair." She finally managed to utter with a small voice.

She could only watch as Altair retreated to his men and left her life, no longer looking like anything but a small, lost child. Her feelings of rage, frustration, and pain continued to run rampant in her mind and the lack of a target just made them worse. She couldn't be angry at Altair for protecting his heart. She couldn't be angry at Vahl for avenging her close friend. She couldn't be angry with Aadya for doing what soldiers do. Okay, no, she could be angry at her for that. But Aadya wasn't responsible for this mess. And yet she felt so... furious. She could no longer fight the warm tears that ran down her cheeks, blending with the streaks of Killik blood.

Clove started her slow stroll back to the fast food restaurant while holding back sobs so she wouldn't look like an absolute lunatic. Before their talk, the thought of food made her nauseous, but now all she wanted was that burger and milkshake. She shoved some credits on the counter and grabbed the bag of food the chef had prepared for her without saying anything. Or, well, she assumed it was her order that was waiting for her. And if it wasn't... she didn't care. Clove walked to her ship, gauntlets in one hand, a white greased stained bag in the other, and her cane awkwardly shoved between her armpits.

She would not disappear, not again. But the galaxy didn't seem as bright as it did when she was lying under an apple tree.

---

​

/exitthread
tagged @Sreeya ​