Red vs. Blue Character

[Johnnysaurus Rex]

Well since RVB is going to be ending with the next episode (100) then I might as well see who everybody's favorite character is and if you want give the reason why. This is also multiple choice if you can't choose.

I'm choosing Church since besides Tex he is the only one who actually seems to try and his team is mostly incompetent and he still gets them to function a little bit.

I also have to give Sarge some respect. He's the somewhat psychotic leader of the Reds and I love all his conversations about how he wants to kill Grif (if you don't know grif is one of the soldiers under his command)

 

[Kit]

Sarge, for the sargeisms!

He's also the funniest single character, the rest are only good as a group.

 

[Johnnysaurus Rex]

Ya Simmons and Grif wouldn't be that funny on their own

 

[Phil]

On Red Team: Sarge. He uses a Shotgun, is hillarious, always cruel to Grif for his laziness, his armor is red, etc.

On Blue Team: Caboose. C'mon, who dosent like Caboose? He's just so stupid and inhumanly strong that its just funny! "My Arm fell off."

 

[Kit]

Yeah, they're all good, but as standalones, Sarge reigns supreme. I love the combo of Church and Tucker though, they're my next favorites.

 

[Will]

I did the top 3, for some reason....

1= Caboose. The one line sums him up. ''I can't feel my torso!''
2=O'mally. The way he and Doc work together as one character is very funny
3= Wyoming. The English accent.

 

[Epic]

Sarge for his Sargeisms and his love for all things that hurt Grif.

Grif for most of his lines.

Caboose because he's Caboose.


Best Church Line: "There is no eleven you fucking whore!"


Best Conversation:

Sarge: Simmons, status report. (coughs)

Simmons: Um, an enormous thing just fell out of the sky, and landed on Donut, Sir.

Sarge: Are there any other injuries?

Simmons: No Sir!

Sarge: You sure?

Simmons: I think so.

Sarge: Are you sure? No-one accidentally got shot in the face when someone else's shotgun just accidentally went off during the incredible distraction of a spaceship crash landing. Purely by coincidence?

Simmons: Uh, I don't kno-

Sarge: No-one orange?

Grif: Uhgh, I'm fine.


Best Caboose Line: "I AM CABOOSE! THE VEHICLE DESTROYER!"

Best Grif Line: "What! That little slut, I'm gonna kill her! "

Best Sarge Line: "You just got Sarged."

 

[Enishi]

Gotta go with Caboose

 

[Johnnysaurus Rex]

To me this is the best classic Red Team conversation

Sarge: Hurry it up, Ladies. This ain't no ice-cream social!
Simmons: Ice-cream social?!
[Simmons and Grif look at each other]
Sarge: Stop the pillow talk, you two. Anyone...want to guess...why I gathered you here...today.
Grif: Uh, is it because the war's over and you're shipping us home?
Sarge: That's exactly it, private! War's over. We won. Turns out you're the big hero, and we're going to hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float and Simmons here, [agitated] is in charge of confetti!
Grif: I'm no stranger to sarcasm, Sir.
Sarge: God dammit private, shut your mouth or else I'll have Simmons slit your throat while you're asleep!
Simmons: Oh, I'd do it too.
Sarge: I know you would Simmons... good man. A couple of things today, ladies: Command, has seen fit to increase our ranks here at Blood Gulch outpost-number-one!
Grif: Crap...we're gettin' a rookie.
Sarge: That's right, dead-man! Our new recruit will be here within the week. But today, we recieve the first part of our shipment from Command. (Sarge turns around) Lopez...bring up the vehicle.
[Lopez drives up in a new jeep]
Simmons: Shotgun.
Grif: Shotgun...fuck.
Sarge: May I introduce, our new Light-Reconnaissance vehicle. (Rotating around the new jeep) It has 6-inch Armour Plating; Mag...Bumper Suspension; a mounted machine gunner position-and total seating for three. Gentlemen! This is the M12 LRV! I like to call it the "Warthog".
Simmons: Why "Warthog" Sir?
Sarge: Because M12 LRV is too hard to say in conversation, son.
Grif: No, but, why "Warthog"? I mean, it doesn't look like a pig...
Sarge: Say that again?
Grif: I think it looks more like a 'Puma'.
Sarge: What in Sam Hell is a 'Puma'?
Simmons: Uh..you mean like the Shoe Company?
Grif: No! Like a 'Puma'! It's a big cat, like a lion.
Sarge: You're making that up!
Grif: I'm telling you, it's a real animal!
Sarge: Simmons! I want you to poison Grif's next meal!
Simmons: Yes Sir!
Sarge: Look see these two tow hooks? They look like tusks. And what kind of animal has tusks?
Grif: A walrus.
Sarge: Didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals?

 

[Kit]

ah, a modern classic. Who needs art, literature or theatre when the internet provides such wondorous bounty?

 

[Johnnysaurus Rex]

This is the best church line however. Aaron mentioned part of it

Vic: Hey dude.
Church: Vic, hey. This Church. I need-
Vic: This Vic at 555-V-I-C-K du le du. I'm not in the casito right now so leave your lowdown at the ding dong. Hasta.
Church: Hey Vic, this is Church. I need-
Voice Mail: You have reached the voice mail system.
Church:(sighs) Ok, ok, come on.
Voice Mail: To leave a message, just wait for the tone.
Chuch: I know how to leave a goddamn message.
Voice Mail: When you are finished recording, just hang up or press pound for more options.
Church: Really. Hang up. No shit. I was just gonna keep talking until he decided check his voice mail.
Voice Mail: For delivery options, press five.
Church: Just give me the damn beep!
Voice Mail: To leave a call back number, press eight. To page this person, press six,-
Church: Come on!
Voice Mail: To repeat this message, press nine.
Church: I will fucking stab you Computer-phone-lady!

[sometime later]

Voice Mail: To mark this message as urgent, press eleven.
Church: THERE IS NO ELEVEN, YOU FUCKING WHORE!!
Doc: Oohhhh... language.

[sometime later]

Voice Mail: To hear these options in spanish, press dos.
Church: I HATE YOUUU!
[Voice Mail beeps]
Church: Vic, it's Church. I need...
Voice Mail: I'm sorry, but this person's voicemail box is full.
Church: Urgh... I'm gonna kill myself, I'm gonna kill myself.

 

[sithboy7]

Girf, Simmons, and O'Mally.
O'Mally: They will all taste oblivion! Which taste just like Red Bull. Which is disgusting...

 

[grenth]

Tucker

 

[Sir Dakar]

Blarg?

Honk... Blarg!

 

[Kade]

I must go with Caboose.

We All know that he's funny.

Let's see.

Was That.

Blarg Blarg Blarg HONK

or was that

Blarg Honk Blarg Honk


:)

OR the other best line.

He hasn't bitten me much... since last time.

So, Caboose FTW!
Though I'll admit, they're all hilarious. Such as when they think that one guy is hallucinating, and he's like. "The Tank is Real!" and they dont believe him, and when they find out the tank IS real, they still keep the restraining order on him.

Just So Very Funny.


OR.
Junior :)

erhm, also -

the Bomb that's like. "IM GOING TO DIE!"

and then screams BOOM
and everyone spazzes.

 

[grenth]

The bomb would be Andy, he's cool too (due to lack of bomb smilies I shall blow up ie) :bomb_ie:

 

[Epic]

Andy's awesome.

 

[Viggy]

Sarge. Saaaaaarge. No one can deny his excellency.

 

[Lavi]

Donut - Somewhat insane. And funny.

"It's not pink - it's a LIGHTISH RED!!"

Simmons is #2. For being one of the only sane people in RvB.