Though he knew that none of his best and closest friends possessed the habit of holding grudges, Arctus couldn't deny that there was a part of him, no matter how small, that feared that they resented him for running away. But instead of making him avert his gaze the Corellian only felt his resolve to hold his ground strengthen. He was tired of running away, even more so abandoning the people precious to him. He wasn't the shrewd, backstabbing, lonely smuggler of the past. Purpose found him- no, he had chased his purpose and grabbed it with both hands the moment he caught up to it on that island where he began to stitch up his broken heart. He was Arctus Ramiel Friers, a man trying to be kind first and foremost, and a Jedi second.
He wouldn't run away again, and he would start on that path right now.
Clove's words burned, but not even in the least destructive ways. It was so easy to challenge them, to tell her that he should've told them sooner, that he shouldn't have let his doubts and fears rule over him. But Arctus accepted the half-Annfyn's words with grace and unbridled gratitude. It was freeing in so many ways to simply and sincerely accept the truth held in her words, and his heart felt much lighter for them. Her words and bright smile, coupled with Ruzaan's complete understanding, filled the Corellian's mind with peace.
Ruzaan had known Arctus longer than Clove, and to hear how glad the Togruta was for the Corellian's honesty by opening up earned him a tear sliding down the former smuggler's cheek. Out of anyone in the Order, aside from Indy, Ruz was the first person to engage with the older man. Ruzaan was also one of the first to catch a glimpse of the mental battles Arctus had been struggling with. He feared that it would drive the young Togruta away. Now, alongside Clove, he was one of the pillars that supported Arctus. He was one of the reasons why Arctus wanted to be a better man; why Arctus stayed on the path towards the Light.
Despite the mistakes and sins he made in the past, Arctus was a lucky man for having these two in his life.
"Honestly," he began with a slight tremble to his voice, a soft and grateful smile on his face as he gazed at Ruzaan and Clove. "What would I do without you both..."
Ruzaan's question was not unexpected. Arctus blinked his own tears away, refusing to let go of his friends' hands just yet. He didn't need to think twice when it came to a response, because it was obvious. The Padawan let the words sit in his mind for a moment as he lowered his gaze for the first time since he opened up to them. It didn't need saying, really - they all knew what he would tell them anyway.
Through the Force he reached out to them, his voice letting them see how he saw them through the Force. Arctus, a staticky mess of colors, gently blanketed by salubrious azure and compassionate lilac.
The words didn't need saying, and yet they slipped past Arctus' lips on their own. He raised his head to meet their gaze, the softness in his smile morphing into a more cheerful and sincere upward curve of the corners of his lips.
"The same thing you are telling me, and more. That I will be there for you even if you push me away. That I will be there when you call. That I love you, both of you, and that I am always with you regardless of the distance and circumstance that separate us."
He was tired of running away, so he planted his feet firmly on the ground and stayed.
@LilyNion @SlagathorTheUnknown
He wouldn't run away again, and he would start on that path right now.
Clove's words burned, but not even in the least destructive ways. It was so easy to challenge them, to tell her that he should've told them sooner, that he shouldn't have let his doubts and fears rule over him. But Arctus accepted the half-Annfyn's words with grace and unbridled gratitude. It was freeing in so many ways to simply and sincerely accept the truth held in her words, and his heart felt much lighter for them. Her words and bright smile, coupled with Ruzaan's complete understanding, filled the Corellian's mind with peace.
Ruzaan had known Arctus longer than Clove, and to hear how glad the Togruta was for the Corellian's honesty by opening up earned him a tear sliding down the former smuggler's cheek. Out of anyone in the Order, aside from Indy, Ruz was the first person to engage with the older man. Ruzaan was also one of the first to catch a glimpse of the mental battles Arctus had been struggling with. He feared that it would drive the young Togruta away. Now, alongside Clove, he was one of the pillars that supported Arctus. He was one of the reasons why Arctus wanted to be a better man; why Arctus stayed on the path towards the Light.
Despite the mistakes and sins he made in the past, Arctus was a lucky man for having these two in his life.
"Honestly," he began with a slight tremble to his voice, a soft and grateful smile on his face as he gazed at Ruzaan and Clove. "What would I do without you both..."
Ruzaan's question was not unexpected. Arctus blinked his own tears away, refusing to let go of his friends' hands just yet. He didn't need to think twice when it came to a response, because it was obvious. The Padawan let the words sit in his mind for a moment as he lowered his gaze for the first time since he opened up to them. It didn't need saying, really - they all knew what he would tell them anyway.
Through the Force he reached out to them, his voice letting them see how he saw them through the Force. Arctus, a staticky mess of colors, gently blanketed by salubrious azure and compassionate lilac.
The words didn't need saying, and yet they slipped past Arctus' lips on their own. He raised his head to meet their gaze, the softness in his smile morphing into a more cheerful and sincere upward curve of the corners of his lips.
"The same thing you are telling me, and more. That I will be there for you even if you push me away. That I will be there when you call. That I love you, both of you, and that I am always with you regardless of the distance and circumstance that separate us."
He was tired of running away, so he planted his feet firmly on the ground and stayed.
@LilyNion @SlagathorTheUnknown