Rowan Vane

[RED-1]

That is correct. He would very likely not be able to have a base on Mandalore, and the faction specific tech will have to go. As a side note, it's the A140, not the A280, and the Nova-67 has been archived.

ya done the edit got new equipment.

 

[Arcangel]

@RED-1

The UAI-19 armor is also an archived armor set.

 

[RED-1]

then what do you think is a good armor? and some people need to change there eq as well

 

[Arcangel]

then what do you think is a good armor? and some people need to change there eq as well

Here is a list of all the approved armors. Keep in mind that some of them might not yet be updated to be compliant with the new armor rules.

 

[RED-1]

@RED-1

The UAI-19 armor is also an archived armor set.

what armor medium do you think is good that is not archived everything I pick off the time line sixth is archived witch is half the armor.

 

[Arcangel]

what armor medium do you think is good that is not archived everything I pick off the time line sixth is archived witch is half the armor.

Please see my previous post.

 

[RED-1]

Please see my previous post.

fixed thank you for your help

 

[Shalken]

The tech compendium likely has not been updated to reflect the latest technology.

i'm sorry i haven't updated it yet pls don't kill me, i'll get to it someday i swear >_>

 

[RED-1]

lol ya sure, it is OK just gets frustrating when making character and everyone keeps telling you your equipment is out of date.

 

[Billbo Swaggins]

lol ya sure, it is OK just gets frustrating when making character and everyone keeps telling you your equipment is out of date.

A simple way to fix that is to double check what sub-forum the tech profile is currently in before including it in your profile.

Anyway, onto the actual profile review ^_^
For the most part, your biography is good. You don't leave too many loose ends, and everything is tied up pretty nicely.
There are, however, a few points I would like you to address.

The first of these would definitely be your mention of GALAF member's having families on a base of some sort. Unfortunately, that simply won't work. Most members of GALAF are younger members who've basically joined this timeline's equivalent of the Rebellion. So that means that, while most members likely have family, their families will definitely not be located in a singular location, or in a base (we don't even have any major bases). Due to this, it would be highly unlikely that Rowan's wife will be teaching anyone from GALAF.

I would also like to know more about his exploration and how it has changed him as a person. This man is an explorer, but you don't tell us anything of what he is exploring. Give us a few noteworthy stories about his exploration and how they turned Rowan into the person he is today.

You can also get rid of pretty much the first half of the 2nd paragraph. That's pretty much common knowledge, and its just taking up space. Optional, but I would prefer if you did so.

Other than that, that's pretty much all I have to say on the bio. However, there still are a few tech issues that need to be addressed.

Here is every piece of archived tech that is listed on your profile (you will need to delete them, no exceptions):
F.R.A.N.K.I.E
... Looks like you got rid of the rest by the time of this post - good job!

Still, even with all the archived tech removed, Rowan still has a bit too much tech for one person, even if he's had a lot of time to acquire it, at 40 yrs old. I suggest you cut down on the sheer amount of weaponry he has (a sniper, two rifles, and two pistols? That's a little much for a single person, no matter how experienced).
Considering the amount of tech you have in your ship, you may also want to nix the speeder, like I suggested earlier (I think).

In addition, you also have to remove the HUD feature of your datapad. According to tech rules, a HUD is a function that would normally be in the helmet. So you can't really have it integrated into a datapad. You should take a look at the features of the armor you currently have selected and see if you can attach some functions, since I don't see them listed.

Other than that, I really don't have much else to point at ^_^

 

[RED-1]

A simple way to fix that is to double check what sub-forum the tech profile is currently in before including it in your profile.

Anyway, onto the actual profile review ^_^
For the most part, your biography is good. You don't leave too many loose ends, and everything is tied up pretty nicely.
There are, however, a few points I would like you to address.

The first of these would definitely be your mention of GALAF member's having families on a base of some sort. Unfortunately, that simply won't work. Most members of GALAF are younger members who've basically joined this timeline's equivalent of the Rebellion. So that means that, while most members likely have family, their families will definitely not be located in a singular location, or in a base (we don't even have any major bases). Due to this, it would be highly unlikely that Rowan's wife will be teaching anyone from GALAF.

I would also like to know more about his exploration and how it has changed him as a person. This man is an explorer, but you don't tell us anything of what he is exploring. Give us a few noteworthy stories about his exploration and how they turned Rowan into the person he is today.

You can also get rid of pretty much the first half of the 2nd paragraph. That's pretty much common knowledge, and its just taking up space. Optional, but I would prefer if you did so.
well tell me what you think now.
Other than that, that's pretty much all I have to say on the bio. However, there still are a few tech issues that need to be addressed.

Here is every piece of archived tech that is listed on your profile (you will need to delete them, no exceptions):
F.R.A.N.K.I.E
... Looks like you got rid of the rest by the time of this post - good job!

Still, even with all the archived tech removed, Rowan still has a bit too much tech for one person, even if he's had a lot of time to acquire it, at 40 yrs old. I suggest you cut down on the sheer amount of weaponry he has (a sniper, two rifles, and two pistols? That's a little much for a single person, no matter how experienced).
Considering the amount of tech you have in your ship, you may also want to nix the speeder, like I suggested earlier (I think).

In addition, you also have to remove the HUD feature of your datapad. According to tech rules, a HUD is a function that would normally be in the helmet. So you can't really have it integrated into a datapad. You should take a look at the features of the armor you currently have selected and see if you can attach some functions, since I don't see them listed.

Other than that, I really don't have much else to point at ^_^

 

[Billbo Swaggins]

Mhm... Much better.

I really enjoyed the additions you made to the bio, and I appreciate your cutting down a bit on his gear.

You may want to hold off on mentioning RED-2 until he is approved before you mention him in your profile, as it may lead to so some misunderstandings, but other than that I don't really see any glaring problems with the write-up :)

Just touch it up a bit and fox the typos and you'll be good to go!

 

[RED-1]

Mhm... Much better.

I really enjoyed the additions you made to the bio, and I appreciate your cutting down a bit on his gear.

You may want to hold off on mentioning RED-2 until he is approved before you mention him in your profile, as it may lead to so some misunderstandings, but other than that I don't really see any glaring problems with the write-up :)

Just touch it up a bit and fox the typos and you'll be good to go!

done with the last request

 

[Billbo Swaggins]

done with the last request

Congratulations!
[APPROVED]

 

[RED-1]

I am glad that the US Army was not this hard lol I would have never made it 25 years

thank you for all of your help