Since her release from the hospital, the half-Sephi had locked herself in her dorm, ignoring anyone who tried to talk with her. She didn't want to talk to anyone about what had happened, as much as she despised being alone. Clove saw only Crix and Thelian for the first few weeks, as they were the only ones who understood what had happened and understood her pain. She was referred to a therapist, but she couldn't recall the first set of sessions even if she tried. Days were hazy, and most of them were spent trudging from dorm room to therapist office and back.
Operated solely on autopilot.
But, eventually, that auto-pilot ran out of gas, and the emotions she'd tried to escape clawed their way back. Even the nights couldn't take her mind off the pain because Dantooine replayed itself every time she closed her eyes, each time more horrifying than the last. She began to despise the idea of sleep all together, and no matter how tired she was, she resisted it for as long as she could. And so, as life always does, everything began to catch up. The dorm became too small to breathe in, the bed became too hard to sleep in, the books became too boring to read and the night sky became too cold to gaze at the stars.
She just felt so lonely and enslaved by her own feelings, as if Aadya's hand was still around her throat.
Clove knew she had to try to continue her life, no matter how difficult or terrifying it would be. Because all she wanted was to crawl into somebody's arms, even if no one else understood, even if they confronted her about the horrors. And that desire and loneliness began to outweigh the negatives.
It wasn't fair, either, to keep her friends, Ruz and Arctus, waiting for so long. Obviously, there were more friends. Xi, Drastus, Sabatha, and even Ephiny were all people she had grown to adore, and she was certain she would pay them a visit at some point. But they didn't have the same intense instant connection and comfort that Ruz and Arctus did.
They were almost like family, and she couldn't abandon family. Especially not when her actual parents were so far away.
It took a lot of help from the therapist and two large cups of Batoo hot chocolate milk, to finally take the first baby steps forwards and send a message to both, stating;
"Hey Ruz and Arctus, I'm sorry we haven't spoken for so long. Want to meet up? I'll be in the gardens later today, you know where."
That was the easiest part done.
Dressing up into something else than pajamas and finding the courage to go to the garden was where the real challenge lay.
Every inch of Clove's body trembled as she put on her most comfortable clothing and shoes. She wanted to lock the door, close the curtains and hide in a corner. But she'd been doing that for who knows how many days and it hadn't helped in the least, so she resisted. That is, after the sixth cup of hot chocolate and hiding in her pillows for an hour. She walked out of the room with her shoulders slumped, not bothering to look in the mirror to correct anything or fiddle with her hair. Fortunately, the side-hallway was quiet, as usual, and she made it to the garden without much difficulty.
There was no going back now.
Nervously her feet took her to a patch of grass near the botany garden, where Ruz, Arctus, and Xi had gazed up at the stars after the Potluck. There she waited as the sun began to set into a golden twilight.
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