- Joined
- Mar 4, 2014
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BROADCAST INITIALIZING
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BROADCAST ONLINE
Deep in neutral space on board the Asylum, Slars is casually using up at least 3/4s of its Holonet upload data, much to the chagrin of everyone else on board...and a select few that have the misfortune of their broadcasters being way too close to his.
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BROADCAST ONLINE
Hello mates, Slars here with a lil' update. Should be back to my regular broadcasting schedule within a few days, I've been a bit busy with external matters as of late. I know my staff's been doin' hard work, and if any of 'em are watching right now, I'd like to congratulate 'em on a job well done.
Now, however, we gotta move on to serious business...a friendly reminder, if you will, from yours truly. The Force ain't goin anywhere, and believe me, you all ain't goin nowhere while it ain't goin nowhere. All of ye've gotta remember, the Jedi aren't going to make your lives better by saving a scant few souls in a galaxy of millions, if anything, they're makin' you all lax. The only reason they exist is to make you feel better about your own miserable existence, right, they don't actually care about what the hell you're doin' to make a livin', they don't care if you're livin' paycheck to paycheck, and the fact that they're all sittin' around meditating in temples while the galaxy is falling to pieces just proves this point more than ever. Stay strong lads, and start fighting for yourselves instead of waitin' for others to fight for ya, trust me, I've tried it, don't work well at all. And if you happen to find yourself growin Force powers overnight or hearing things talking in your head that shouldn't be there, my group's already workin' on opening up midichlorian removal stations round the galaxy. Mark my words, by the end of this campaign, ain't no one gonna have to deal with this abomination again. We're all gonna be forced to finally work together to make things happen instead of relying on some supernatural bullshit power source to subordinate ourselves under. Just remember: the stand against the Midichlorian Collective, for your freedom, begins and ends with you, YOU, have the power, not these demigod jackasses tryna tell you how to live your life.
Anyways, seeing as our main studio's just been hit with a blackout, likely from the bloody Imperials or some Mandos that didn't like how I treated their Duke of Ordo, I'm gonna hit you with a little news update. Ahem...oh, holy hell...well, to begin with, you guessed it, more Force-related bantha fodder and breaking news from a planet in neutral territory of all places. On Sullust, a rampaging group of Sith and Jedi are currently dueling in SoroSuub corporation territory, the two opposing parties already having killed a few dozen natives with little more than what seems to be pyrokinetics and a little bloodlust. I'll keep you updated but it seems like despite the impending arrival of local law enforcement, this ungodly feud isn't stopping any time soon. Next up, the brutal televised executions of POWs on Korriban are continuing, much to the chagrin of nearly every single damned sentient rights advocate in the galaxy, including this one, but to anyone actually bloody paying attention, this should be no surprise...oh, and the Jedi Gungan Death Cult is still a thing apparently, as numerous corpses have been turned up bearing their signature mark on Coruscant. Once again, we'll keep you posted as new stories develop...
Now, however, we gotta move on to serious business...a friendly reminder, if you will, from yours truly. The Force ain't goin anywhere, and believe me, you all ain't goin nowhere while it ain't goin nowhere. All of ye've gotta remember, the Jedi aren't going to make your lives better by saving a scant few souls in a galaxy of millions, if anything, they're makin' you all lax. The only reason they exist is to make you feel better about your own miserable existence, right, they don't actually care about what the hell you're doin' to make a livin', they don't care if you're livin' paycheck to paycheck, and the fact that they're all sittin' around meditating in temples while the galaxy is falling to pieces just proves this point more than ever. Stay strong lads, and start fighting for yourselves instead of waitin' for others to fight for ya, trust me, I've tried it, don't work well at all. And if you happen to find yourself growin Force powers overnight or hearing things talking in your head that shouldn't be there, my group's already workin' on opening up midichlorian removal stations round the galaxy. Mark my words, by the end of this campaign, ain't no one gonna have to deal with this abomination again. We're all gonna be forced to finally work together to make things happen instead of relying on some supernatural bullshit power source to subordinate ourselves under. Just remember: the stand against the Midichlorian Collective, for your freedom, begins and ends with you, YOU, have the power, not these demigod jackasses tryna tell you how to live your life.
Anyways, seeing as our main studio's just been hit with a blackout, likely from the bloody Imperials or some Mandos that didn't like how I treated their Duke of Ordo, I'm gonna hit you with a little news update. Ahem...oh, holy hell...well, to begin with, you guessed it, more Force-related bantha fodder and breaking news from a planet in neutral territory of all places. On Sullust, a rampaging group of Sith and Jedi are currently dueling in SoroSuub corporation territory, the two opposing parties already having killed a few dozen natives with little more than what seems to be pyrokinetics and a little bloodlust. I'll keep you updated but it seems like despite the impending arrival of local law enforcement, this ungodly feud isn't stopping any time soon. Next up, the brutal televised executions of POWs on Korriban are continuing, much to the chagrin of nearly every single damned sentient rights advocate in the galaxy, including this one, but to anyone actually bloody paying attention, this should be no surprise...oh, and the Jedi Gungan Death Cult is still a thing apparently, as numerous corpses have been turned up bearing their signature mark on Coruscant. Once again, we'll keep you posted as new stories develop...
Deep in neutral space on board the Asylum, Slars is casually using up at least 3/4s of its Holonet upload data, much to the chagrin of everyone else on board...and a select few that have the misfortune of their broadcasters being way too close to his.