Right, long story short after being in a relationship for ages, then out, then back in then finding out she turned into a ****ing whore I'm out again.
So last night I went out with my friends to frankly get rat arsed and see if anyone would take me home, nothing gets someone over a horrible break up then getting knee deep in some....
Anyway, so I found a delightful girl and took her back to my humble home, turned on a bit of the Matt charm and she was ready for some action.
I however was not packing heat, I had about as much heat in my wallet as a polar bear's armpit.
My trusty apparatus that EVERY SINGLE 18 YEAR OLD put's in there wallet for just such an occasion was missing.
What do I do? I have a girl ready for me but I have nothing to facilitate the loving and she didn't look like the type of bird who would be a responsible mother and judging by my brother's efforts, we are the most fertile men in Great Britain.
Well, what does a man do? Does he ask his room mates for help? Does he run to the local pub? No, this is me we are talking about.
I ran down the road to the nearest pub, walked in and proclaimed loudly I would pay 25 pounds for a condom, rather than just get one from the toilet for 20 pence. Well some knobhead took my money and gave me the ammunition.
Woke up this morning....Grim, rough and not all that.
And that was just what was next to me. Beware beer goggles and the horrors of having to much money kiddies.
So last night I went out with my friends to frankly get rat arsed and see if anyone would take me home, nothing gets someone over a horrible break up then getting knee deep in some....
Anyway, so I found a delightful girl and took her back to my humble home, turned on a bit of the Matt charm and she was ready for some action.
I however was not packing heat, I had about as much heat in my wallet as a polar bear's armpit.
My trusty apparatus that EVERY SINGLE 18 YEAR OLD put's in there wallet for just such an occasion was missing.
What do I do? I have a girl ready for me but I have nothing to facilitate the loving and she didn't look like the type of bird who would be a responsible mother and judging by my brother's efforts, we are the most fertile men in Great Britain.
Well, what does a man do? Does he ask his room mates for help? Does he run to the local pub? No, this is me we are talking about.
I ran down the road to the nearest pub, walked in and proclaimed loudly I would pay 25 pounds for a condom, rather than just get one from the toilet for 20 pence. Well some knobhead took my money and gave me the ammunition.
Woke up this morning....Grim, rough and not all that.
And that was just what was next to me. Beware beer goggles and the horrors of having to much money kiddies.
