The Worst Poems of The Worst Jedi

[Darth Evandrus]

Kriff

What the kriff is this?
This feeling of tension,
Of knotted emotion,
Sorrow and joy,
Rage and tranquillity,
That seizes my mind,
And shakes my core?

What the kriff is love?
Chemicals and hormones,
Thoughts and emotions,
Intensity and whispers,
Physical needs and emotions wants,
What the kriff is love,
To make me feel this way?

What the kriff am I to do?​

I Feel Her

I feel her warmth,
I feel her life,
I feel her tenderness,
I feel her tension,
I feel her when I am alone,
I feel her when I am surrounded,
I feel her when the days are cold,
I feel her when I am as the surface of a sun.

I feel her,
And I am afraid I may never wish not to.​

When Did It Change?

When did ‘her and I’ become something else?
When was it that individuality changed?
When was it that ‘I’ became ‘Us’,
When dreaming of the future?

When did my Family start to come second?
When was it that I began to forsake them?
When was it that ‘love’ became her,
When lying awake at night?

Whenever it was, whenever it changed,
Whenever I became this man I am now,
I suppose it doesn’t matter now.​

All My Life

All my life I have been but a boy,
Crying out for attention,
For love and affection.

All my life I have wanted to belong,
Knowing where my heart lives,
Where my sorrow gives.

All my life I have raged for something more,
Lashing out furiously no matter how tasking,
To be given love without ever asking.

All my life I have waited for her,
And all my life I have been found wanting.

All my life gone by,
And yet I am not ready for her love,
Not worthy of such a prize.

But I will be.

Another journal, another book filled with poetry about an enemy to his family, to his people and to his duty as a Jedi Knight. This one? This one was the first thin little book he had filled with such thoughts, such distractions as they were at the time. He hadn't thought much of it to begin with, had hated how he felt about her in the beginning and even throughout this one journal it was clear to him that much had changed. It was clear to him that he had started writing as a man confused, afraid and angry about feeling the way he did and had ended as a man afraid only of not being worthy of the emotion he had embraced.

And it would be clear to any outsider as well.

Cregan set the journal down heavily for a moment, the action adding far more weight to the thin book than it's paper could ever actually hope to hold. He stared at it for a moment longer, wishing that he could find another solution to this problem, this evidence of his base betrayal of the Code. He had, against his better judgement, sent a message to Andraste with the poems attached. Naturally, he had played it off for laughs, not really supportive enough of anything he'd written to actually stand by it. And yet he still hoped that they found some kind of enjoyment out of them.

Deciding that he was stalling, Cregan sighed lightly before reaching out with the Force and igniting the paper of the journal, watching it first blacken and then turn to ash. Catching the ashes in a sphere of the Force, he condensed them down into a small ball. Reaching out, he took the ball before stepping to the window of his rooms on Jedha before tossing it out towards the sands.

Let Andraste be the only one to know.

 

[Darth Evandrus]

Never

When I was young I rode a bike,
I crashed it hard into a dike,
Never, would I ride a bike.

When I was taller I grew a beard,
It always looked as bad as feared,
Never, would I grow a beard.

When I fought and lost a fight,
I swore to Force I was right,
Never, would I lose a fight.

When I loved you, I married you,
And no matter what you or I do,
Never, will I love anyone but you.