Vobras Browshe

[BlackCrow]

Oh neat, my Sith character, Liova, came from Dubrillion and ended up on Korriban as well. Perhaps they knew each other at some point? I'm still getting her in order, but hey if you'd like, after you get everything sorted out, too, you could give her a poke.

Ye maybe

 

[BlackCrow]

-heavily updated and cleaned-

 

[Hopeless Wanderer]

You've still got some edits to do. A lot of the information is exactly what I wrote for Wretch. Though, it is looking a lot cleaner with that kayout. Now all you need to do is finish adjusting each category to suit Vobras.

 

[BlackCrow]

You've still got some edits to do. A lot of the information is exactly what I wrote for Wretch. Though, it is looking a lot cleaner with that kayout. Now all you need to do is finish adjusting each category to suit Vobras.

Yea i didnt notice till now lmao

 

[Hopeless Wanderer]

The Force Explained

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	Control Force - Uriel is a typical Acolyte of the Sith Imperium, he has begun learning some of the Control aspects of the Force. Though. he is only a mere Acolyte, Wretch has shown great prowess in the Control Arts. They have quickly become his favored section of study, finding them to aide in Lightsaber Combat more than others. Which, is a field that he wishes to flourish in. He seems capable of picking up on these techniques of manipulating the Force much better than the Sense or Alter fields. It is our belief that with proper guidance, he could one day become a powerful Master of Control Force techniques.
	Sense Force - Wretch is a typical Acolyte of the Sith Imperium, he has begun learning some of the Sense aspects of the Force. Though, he is far from a Master and it is still pretty obvious that he needs a lot more training in this field of study. He shows no real interest towards this aspect of study, though we believe that with the proper guidance his mind could be swayed. As all aspects of the Force are unique and equally important.
	Alter Force - Wretch is a typical Acolyte of the Sith Imperium, he has begun learning some of the Alter aspects of the Force. Though, he is far from a Master and it is still pretty obvious that he needs a lot more training in this field of study. While, not fond of this aspect of the Force... he is not dissuaded by it either. While, the lessons don't come naturally to him... He does find great pleasure in making new strides in his studies in this field.
	Lightsaber Combat - Lightsaber Combat is everything in the eyes of Wretch. It is the purist way to express oneself upon a battlefield and the most honorary way to cut an adversary down where he stands. There is nothing more beautiful in the known universe than two Lightsaber duelist battling to the death. It is more along the lines of an obsession to Wretch than a field of study. The Warrior candidate has become known for literally carrying his own creation within his grasp at all times, often found practicing bits and pieces of various forms. Trying to find the one that suits him best, but so far he's had no such luck in finding his desired form. He is eager to learn and a quick study, the perfect recipe for an expert of the Art of Lightsaber Combat.

This entire section is still in need of changing. And on another note, while it isn't important. But maybe find some different aspirations and the abilities that I chose to include. Maybe add to them, subtract none relavent ones, replace some with more relative skills to Vobras.

That way it helps me understand your character. Because right now, I'm essentially seeing a copy of my guys, in everything but history. Even the value of each statistic is the same as Uriels. Make this guy tours. Spread those points around and think snot what makes this guy tick.

 

[BlackCrow]

This entire section is still in need of changing. And on another note, while it isn't important. But maybe find some different aspirations and the abilities that I chose to include. Maybe add to them, subtract none relavent ones, replace some with more relative skills to Vobras.

That way it helps me understand your character. Because right now, I'm essentially seeing a copy of my guys, in everything but history. Even the value of each statistic is the same as Uriels. Make this guy tours. Spread those points around and think snot what makes this guy tick.

well I wasn't really overly sure what to change about all that and I completely forgot to remove your name lmao

 

[Yanks]

This bio is ass, I'm dissapoint
lol jk fam

 

[Marf]

Erm, this profile needs some serious expanding. Firstly, while it's alright to use one of the pre-made templates, you haven't even bothered to change the information which Carnage wrote in his profile. You can use an existing template, but you can't just paste over the information someone else has already written.

Secondly, the personality could use a lot more detail. At present he's nothing more than a maniacal, disrespectful killer, which isn't very interesting. Give him quirks, conflict and emotional depth, define his beliefs and social behaviour.

 

[BlackCrow]

This bio is ass, I'm dissapoint
lol jk fam

shoo yanks you mexican palooza

Erm, this profile needs some serious expanding. Firstly, while it's alright to use one of the pre-made templates, you haven't even bothered to change the information which Carnage wrote in his profile. You can use an existing template, but you can't just paste over the information someone else has already written.

Secondly, the personality could use a lot more detail. At present he's nothing more than a maniacal, disrespectful killer, which isn't very interesting. Give him quirks, conflict and emotional depth, define his beliefs and social behaviour.

yea ik I wasn't finished changing it tbvh and I plan on working on his personality in time as I rp