Walking as a woman in NYC

[Sovereign]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1XGPvbWn0A

 

[Just Matt Now]

Granted a lot of those people were being very rude, there were many who were just being kind. I'm just not sure if all of that should be considered harassment. Not that I say anything to girls on the street. But I can see how annoying it must be for women when this happens that frequently.

 

[Endling vas Precious]

Granted a lot of those people were being very rude, there were many who were just being kind. I'm just not sure if all of that should be considered harassment. Not that I say anything to girls on the street. But I can see how annoying it must be for women when this happens that frequently.

As someone who gets frequently harassed, there's literally no reason for a stranger to say anything at all to me unless they're asking me a question ("do you have the time" etc). Ignoring people who say things to you is all you really can do, I've gotten so accustomed to being harassed that I just chose to keep on walking.

Those people weren't being 'kind'. They're just using it as an excuse to talk to her. It's a sad reality, unfortunately.

 

[Brandon Rhea]

Granted a lot of those people were being very rude, there were many who were just being kind. I'm just not sure if all of that should be considered harassment. Not that I say anything to girls on the street. But I can see how annoying it must be for women when this happens that frequently.

It's objectifying and a power play, even if there's no malice behind it.

 

[Derath Quinton]

That's not harassment. That's catcalling. There's a difference between the two. If you're very pretty on the eyes, regardless of gender, you are going to get catcalled, and nothing is going to stop it even with the loudest of bitching. Gods forbid if somebody glances at another for being easy on the eyes. Freakin' first world problems and political correctness have no end. If somebody doesn't want to get catcalled when they KNOW they are pretty, they should wrap themselves like muslims do.

So yeah, tomorrow I will walk up and down the streets wearing clothing that makes me feel hot and sexy, but then get offended at anybody who catcalls me and claim it as harassment.

 

[Vulpes]

I say hello or good morning to everyone i walk by. Now I'm starting to worry how many men and women think I'm a weirdo o.o

 

[Sapphire Storm]

Before I begin, let me preface this with this: If this is actually just an attempted joke in extremely poor taste, replace everything below with "You suck at jokes and possess no discretion at all."

/beginrant

That's not harassment. That's catcalling. There's a difference between the two.

No, that's harassment. The difference between the two is that catcalling is a very distinctive whistle, not attempting to talk to some random attractive person walking past in the hopes they'll stop and give you their number. And yes, even catcalling is considered harassment. Any kind of act that makes a person, regardless of gender, feel uncomfortable, unsafe and insecure is an act of harassment.

If you're very pretty on the eyes, regardless of gender, you are going to get catcalled, and nothing is going to stop it even with the loudest of bitching. Gods forbid if somebody glances at another for being easy on the eyes. Freakin' first world problems and political correctness have no end.

There's a big difference between glancing at someone that's attractive and catcalling, calling out to them and trying to get their attention, following them down the street for minutes on end, etc. The fact you seem to lump looking at someone attractive together with harassing said attractive person is quite sad.

If somebody doesn't want to get catcalled when they KNOW they are pretty, they should wrap themselves like muslims do.

This is the line of this post that makes me think this might just be a bad joke in horrible taste, because surely no one can make that statement with a straight face. If it is a joke you really need to learn how to make a joke.

This may seem like a slight leap in logic, but that line of yours I just quoted above is the exact kind of logic that those idiots that spout that "It's her own fault that she got raped for dressing so provocatively. She was asking for it" crap possess.

I feel like I also need to point out that not only was the woman in the video wearing a basic set of jeans and shirt, but even if she was wearing booty shorts and a top with a swooping neckline that showed off a bunch of cleavage it's still not okay to think "I'll just call out to this person, harass her, walk beside her for a good five minutes trying to get her attention and hope she'll talk to me, and basically just make a right dick out of myself." The kind of behaviour exemplified in that video isn't brought on because she "dressed sexily" or some other stupid shit. It was brought on because the men showcased in that video have absolutely no idea how to act like a respectable person. They are the exact kind of people that reinforce the "all men are pigs and potential rapists" beliefs of super radical feminists - who, in my opinion give the word "feminism" horrible connotations due to their extreme views, but that's another story entirely.

So yeah, tomorrow I will walk up and down the streets wearing clothing that makes me feel hot and sexy, but then get offended at anybody who catcalls me and claim it as harassment.

You have fun with that. And while you're at it could you please explain to me how a top that shows off absolutely no cleavage and covers everything and a pair of jeans that cover everything is sexy clothing? Just because a woman's breasts, hips, butt, etc. happen to be noticeable through her clothing doesn't mean said woman is fishing for harassment specifically so she can act offended. And no, being naturally attractive does not excuse the actions of assholes like the ones in that video.

/endrant

Sorry. My mind wouldn't let me rest until I deconstructed and tore apart that comment. I'm done now. *breathes sigh of relief*

 

[Cassanova]

I'll just say that I echo Sapphire's comments on the matter, and abhor the myopic and utterly unacceptable point of view demonstrated by Derath.

Take gender out of the equation.

You treat others as though you would like to be treated. I don't want to feel uncomfortable when I go to the shops, so I don't make others feel uncomfortable. Thats the bottom line. Behaviour that falls outside of the parameters of having simple, basic respect for your fellow human being and their personal space is completely unacceptable.

 

[Kaeb]

I don't know what disturbs me more, the evidence of what should already be inherently obvious, or the blatant ignorance displayed by some in reaction to it.

Freakin' first world problems and political correctness have no end. If somebody doesn't want to get catcalled when they KNOW they are pretty, they should wrap themselves like muslims do.

So yeah, tomorrow I will walk up and down the streets wearing clothing that makes me feel hot and sexy, but then get offended at anybody who catcalls me and claim it as harassment.

You're a ****ing idiot.

 

[Blaxican]

There's a big difference between glancing at someone that's attractive and catcalling, calling out to them and trying to get their attention, following them down the street for minutes on end, etc.

According to you there isn't, though.

Any kind of act that makes a person, regardless of gender, feel uncomfortable, unsafe and insecure is an act of harassment.

Per your definition, wouldn't glancing at someone that's attractive constitute as harassment if the act made the person observed uncomfortable (which is something that's apparently a Thing with some people, surprisingly enough)?

I think cat-calling is swagless and lacking in tact, but your definition of harassment seems so broad as to relegate the word to a level of arbitrariness that makes it meaningless.

 

[Cassanova]

A glance is (as defined by Google almighty) a brief or hurried look. I would qualify glancing at someone a perfectly acceptable thing to do in public. Probably encouraged. Otherwise you'd walk straight into them!

Staring, Ogling, Cat-calling - unacceptable.
Glancing - required to function in a public space.

No need to nitpick for no reason, Blaxican.

 

[Blaxican]

Do you really consider that to be nitpicking, though? I mean, let me ask you.

Can you provide an objective argument for why glancing at someone and making them uncomfortable is more or less okay, but staring at them and making them uncomfortable is not?

I think glancing at someone is okay too, for the record. But then I also think that ogling at someone until a sheen of sweat forms on the dome of one's balding head and a string of saliva drools out of their open mouth and into their neckbeard is also okay, "okay" in the sense that it's the type of act that I would shake my head at in disappointment if I ever saw in person but wouldn't think it was worth giving a response to greater than that.

This is leading up to a shitty "where does one draw the line" rant btw, if it wasn't obvious. I suck at this.

 

[Liam]

I sometimes say a polite "Hello" or "How are you?" to people I meet, regardless of male or female. This video was pretty hard to watch, though. I wouldn't really be outraged if the men were just greeting her, but the fact that one of them walked alongside her for 5+ minutes was just creepy. No one should ever be greeted by a stranger with "DAMN!", regardless of gender.

 

[TwoSidedHeart]

One guy just said Good morning. -_- The only time I seen harassment was when people actually started following her and going on to her. There must be some type of problem in the world if people lose their shit over someone saying hello... >_>

Also, I think the last guy was gay. XD I say hi and have a nice day all the time to people... and they tend to smile and say hi back. And Honestly, if someone was calling me hot and sexy, I'd just take it in my stride. XD There are limits though.

 

[Kaeb]

Just imagine yourself in the same situation, every ****ing day and night of your life and imagine that during these instances, you are living in a culture in which your body is incessantly commidified, sexualised and objectified. In a culture in which you are told that your value should be based on these traits as well.

Glancing is not harassment, staring and objectifying someone is. You can't avoid something if you don't notice it first. It's pretty ****ing easy guys.

What's important here is agency and consent. Put yourself in their shoes, occupy their space and show some compassion for their situation. Street harassment is just another cog in the machine that perpetuates instances of a sexually objectifying culture for women and too a large degree, men as well, in some pretty subtle and sinister ways.

 

[Brandon Rhea]

Just imagine yourself in the same situation, every ****ing day and night of your life and imagine that during these instances, you are living in a culture in which your body is incessantly commidified, sexualised and objectified. In a culture in which you are told that your value should be based on these traits as well.

Glancing is not harassment, staring and objectifying someone is. You can't avoid something if you don't notice it first. It's pretty ****ing easy guys.

What's important here is agency and consent. Put yourself in their shoes, occupy their space and show some compassion for their situation. Street harassment is just another cog in the machine that perpetuates instances of a sexually objectifying culture for women and too a large degree, men as well, in some pretty subtle and sinister ways.

Preach it, sister.

 

[Latte]

So, additionally, Derath, I'd love to tell you to "shove it" as far as your sad view on things, and point out that "wrapping yourself like Muslims do" wouldn't work in the first place. Muslim women wearing Burqas still get raped all the time. People will look regardless of how you dress, so no, dressing a certain way doesn't mean a woman "asks" for it. Nobody, regardless of gender, deserves to be catcalled, followed, stared at/ogled, or greeted with "damn!" by anyone. It's pathetic behavior.

 

[TWD26]

This whole thing of men objectifying women pisses me off to say the least, a lot of people have no common sense, my girlfriend is fairly tall and we're both 6 foot, but the amount of people that blatantly tell her to her face that "This bitch is tall" (someone really said that) guys will call out to her all the time where she lives and it's happened a few times when I'm with her. The thing is that a lot of guys (I have to admit when I was in high school I saw it somewhat this way, but I fortunately grew up and got out of the phase) see women as property (due to how the social constructs are set up mostly) and believe that every woman has to owe them to go on a date, ect. and it needs to stop.

But, the problem is I know a lot of the older guys at school would pretty much teach the under classmen that the only thing you want is just to get into a woman's pants, and you know when you look up to these guys on your team it sort of makes you think that way, but I learned to grow out of it and I've had a much fuller and fulfilling relationship because of it.

 

[Kaeb]

Exactly.

Living in a culture of sexual entitlement is extremely dangerous and it as an ideology needs to be destroyed.

 

[jpchewy01]

People need to ****ing grow up.