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Breaking in the Broken (Xasha Fen's training)
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The girl was standing in the dimly lit chamber, waiting for him. Little did she know that Nescius Caedo had slipped in behind her, watching, observing the young changeling. She just seemed to stand, lost in thought perhaps, or frozen by fear, or anticipation. Nescius was utilising his skills an assassin as he watched, silent movements, quick in the shadows, the force making him invisible, using the shadows to keep Xasha under the impression she was alone. He slowly, carefully, approached the girl so he was mere metres from her, facing her head on. And he materialised, appearing as if from nowhere.
"Xasha Fen," he said, "you were brought, apparently, because you have potential. I fail to see your worth, potential or actual, myself. Give me a reason to bother training you, and not simply rid the galaxy of your presence right now."
"Xasha Fen," he said, "you were brought, apparently, because you have potential. I fail to see your worth, potential or actual, myself. Give me a reason to bother training you, and not simply rid the galaxy of your presence right now."
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"It'd be nice if you did what I just told you to do, before I lose patience and actually carry out my threat - you know where I said I'd rid the galaxy of your pitiful life," he said, slightly annoyed that she seemed to have completely ignored what he had said, "and get up. You look like a fool lying on the floor before me like that. It's not endearing, just weakness."
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"Stop bowing!" he said, unimpressed. He exhaled, "You'll learn I suppose," he said, more to himself than the girl. He sighed, "I don't want you to do anything for me. The entire point of this, you being here, me being here. It's all about you. If it were about me I'd be enjoying a glass of firewhisky in the most expensive bar on Coruscant, or adventuring after lost secrets of ancient, long dead masters of the force. Not training a changeling with no self worth."
"I have a feeling the first stage of our introductory lesson will be quite easy for you to grasp," he said, as though turning a page, "it's something that a life of servitude and unfairness will hammer home. We live by a code here, the first line is No peace, only suffering. You know more than most inductees here that it's true. I trust I don't need to demonstrate that it is," he was not just waiting for her accordance. He would want more than a simple yes or no.
"I have a feeling the first stage of our introductory lesson will be quite easy for you to grasp," he said, as though turning a page, "it's something that a life of servitude and unfairness will hammer home. We live by a code here, the first line is No peace, only suffering. You know more than most inductees here that it's true. I trust I don't need to demonstrate that it is," he was not just waiting for her accordance. He would want more than a simple yes or no.
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"You're right, in a way," he replied, "at least if you're suffering you know you're alive. Peace isn't just death. peace is inconsequential. Peace is laying down and hoping that everyone else lies with you. Peace is standing above the struggling masses of Nar Shadaa and pretending you can't hear their suffering. Peace is something afforded to a privileged few who don't live in reality. To live is to suffer. To embrace life, that is to find some peace of mind in your suffering."
He finished his explanation and turned his back to the girl, walking to the far wall. He bent down, picked up a warm cloak and tossed it to the apprentice, before picking up a larger one and putting it on himself.
"Follow."
He reached the wall and pushed one of the slabs of stone in a few inches. With a rocky crunch, a section of the wall slid away to reveal a doorway, big enough for a gamorrean, leading out to the vast icy white wastes beyond. Nescius raised his hood and pulled his cloak around him, folding his arms beneath the warm material and began to step out into the bittter cold. His boots crunched on the ice as he walked away from the temple. He stopped a few paces from the door.
"This, is Ando Prime," he said, "a frozen wasteland that we call home."
He finished his explanation and turned his back to the girl, walking to the far wall. He bent down, picked up a warm cloak and tossed it to the apprentice, before picking up a larger one and putting it on himself.
"Follow."
He reached the wall and pushed one of the slabs of stone in a few inches. With a rocky crunch, a section of the wall slid away to reveal a doorway, big enough for a gamorrean, leading out to the vast icy white wastes beyond. Nescius raised his hood and pulled his cloak around him, folding his arms beneath the warm material and began to step out into the bittter cold. His boots crunched on the ice as he walked away from the temple. He stopped a few paces from the door.
"This, is Ando Prime," he said, "a frozen wasteland that we call home."
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Fair question, Nescius thought. It was one he had not considered the answer to for a very, very long time.
"Well, there's a number of reasons," he said, cryptically, beginning to walk off into the patchy snow, away from the temple, ushering for her to follow. He was glad she asked that question, it brought them to a good starting point for the next stage of the lesson, "Why do you think we do?"
"Well, there's a number of reasons," he said, cryptically, beginning to walk off into the patchy snow, away from the temple, ushering for her to follow. He was glad she asked that question, it brought them to a good starting point for the next stage of the lesson, "Why do you think we do?"
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"It's secluded nature is quite handy," Nescius replied, "when we settled here, when I was still but an acolyte myself, I remember my master explaining that such a planet as this was perfect for those who did not wish to be found," he paused a second, slowing his gait so they walked side by side, rather than with her in his tow, "but there are other reasons that make this suitable, not that you would be aware of this, on certain planets there are great nexuses of force energy. We, force users as a whole, are drawn to them like moths to the flame. They appear on several planets, the Jedi temple on Ossus and the derelict one on Coruscant were both built over great focal points of these nexuses. And the same has occurred here." He took a few more paces, "another good reason for this planet is the harsh environment. For a group such as the Bogan, to pride themselves on building strength and power, being on the doorstep of such conditions is very handy for separating the truly strong from the pretenders," his last sentence seemed to linger in the air, serious and sinister.
He waited a few seconds to allow that to sink in, and then said, flitting deftly back towards the obvious lesson, "The second line of our code is No knowledge, only instinct. What do you suppose this means?"
He waited a few seconds to allow that to sink in, and then said, flitting deftly back towards the obvious lesson, "The second line of our code is No knowledge, only instinct. What do you suppose this means?"
"In a manner of speaking, yes you're correct," he replied, "but don't brush off the value of knowledge itself. In combat, in negotiation, in life it's very useful to know things. To know your limitations, your skills, and those of those around you, it can give you an edge, perhaps a vital edge. But as in your analogy, simply acting, decisiveness, that is a large part of this line's lesson. Knowledge is useful, but don't prize it above action: hesitation has been the downfall of many great and powerful people."
He continued walking through the whitish wilderness, patches of snow and ice making many paths and routes trecherous.
"I can feel frustration seeping from you," he said, feeling out his apprentice in the force, trying to see why, "Frustration and...confusion," the last word even surprised Nescius a little as he said it, pushing further, trying to let the force tell him the reason, "You're confused and agitated that I'm treating you fairly? You expected me to be like the master of a slave? To laud about above you because I can? To grind you down and beat you because I'm stronger? I suppose at least you're holding on to your emotions..."
The journey was becoming ever harder, the snow harder to walk on, the ice patches more slippery. Nescius did not break stride, and continued at the same pace he had adopted to be level with her. But as the walk became harder, as they walked further from the temple, she would have to work harder to keep up.
He continued walking through the whitish wilderness, patches of snow and ice making many paths and routes trecherous.
"I can feel frustration seeping from you," he said, feeling out his apprentice in the force, trying to see why, "Frustration and...confusion," the last word even surprised Nescius a little as he said it, pushing further, trying to let the force tell him the reason, "You're confused and agitated that I'm treating you fairly? You expected me to be like the master of a slave? To laud about above you because I can? To grind you down and beat you because I'm stronger? I suppose at least you're holding on to your emotions..."
The journey was becoming ever harder, the snow harder to walk on, the ice patches more slippery. Nescius did not break stride, and continued at the same pace he had adopted to be level with her. But as the walk became harder, as they walked further from the temple, she would have to work harder to keep up.
"For a walk," he replied cryptically. He took a breath, hearing her thoughts projecting in the force. He would teach her to lock down her mind. Just as he would teach her to do a great many things. While she was in his presence, with him teaching her, it was far from pressing to teach her that particular skill, however. He would continue with his first lesson, and they would lose themselves in the emptiness of Ando Prime. He noticed when she gashed her ankle, and her persistent stumbling and tripping to keep up. And he ignored it.
"What's driving you to follow me?" he asked, "you've done everything I've told you without hesitation. You've got a painful gash on your leg, you'd be more comfortable to slow down and you'll tire soon. Why not ask me to slow down? What's pushing you on?"
"What's driving you to follow me?" he asked, "you've done everything I've told you without hesitation. You've got a painful gash on your leg, you'd be more comfortable to slow down and you'll tire soon. Why not ask me to slow down? What's pushing you on?"
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"It is what you assume I expect of you," he replied, "I don't know what to expect of you, I've known you the length of this conversation. I can feel in the force, understand your potential, read feelings, understand emotions. I can see physically how you cope with something and slowly, over the course of the training, I can build expectations of you. To assume I already have expectations, and to assume those expectations is that you can match my pace on fairly difficult terrain, in harsh weather is a little far fetched. Especially considering I'm a lot more used to this terrain than you, I'm physically larger and more able than you."
He took a few more paces whilst contemplating his apprentice's stance on the matter. She was certainly someone of few words.
"You've not questioned anything other than our destination. You're looking to the future. You don't seem bothered by the here and now. You just do what you think I 'expect' of you in the hope that...that will make you a better Dark Jedi Acolyte. Whya re you so driven to obey 'masters'? Fear? Respect? Adoration?"
He took a few more paces whilst contemplating his apprentice's stance on the matter. She was certainly someone of few words.
"You've not questioned anything other than our destination. You're looking to the future. You don't seem bothered by the here and now. You just do what you think I 'expect' of you in the hope that...that will make you a better Dark Jedi Acolyte. Whya re you so driven to obey 'masters'? Fear? Respect? Adoration?"
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He stopped dead and turned to face her.
"I have you walk next to me and I speak to you because you're not my servant or my slave, but my student. If I forced you to walk behind me, if I hurt you when you misspeak, if I hurt you when you act wrongly, if I ground you down, sure you might stop misspeaking, you might never act wrongly, you you might revere me, but that achieves nothing. You'll stop misspeaking because you'll be scared to speak. You'll stop acting full stop. You'll revere me because you'll be scared not to. But if take your role at my side, as my apprentice, you'll stop misspeaking because you'll have learned what to say, you'll have learned what actions you must take, you'll learn to revere me because of my accomplishments, my power and what I'm teaching you."
He turned back around and began to walk, beginning to feel the effort of the journey in his legs. They had a long way to go yet.
"And never be afraid to show emotion. Never be sorry for it. It's what separates us from the Jedi. It's what keeps us alive. The third line of our code reads: No serenity, only passion. Your passion stems from your emotion. Do you understand?" He asked a simple question, but again it was open ended enough for her to explain what the line meant to her, what it indicated and even what she could learn from it.
"I have you walk next to me and I speak to you because you're not my servant or my slave, but my student. If I forced you to walk behind me, if I hurt you when you misspeak, if I hurt you when you act wrongly, if I ground you down, sure you might stop misspeaking, you might never act wrongly, you you might revere me, but that achieves nothing. You'll stop misspeaking because you'll be scared to speak. You'll stop acting full stop. You'll revere me because you'll be scared not to. But if take your role at my side, as my apprentice, you'll stop misspeaking because you'll have learned what to say, you'll have learned what actions you must take, you'll learn to revere me because of my accomplishments, my power and what I'm teaching you."
He turned back around and began to walk, beginning to feel the effort of the journey in his legs. They had a long way to go yet.
"And never be afraid to show emotion. Never be sorry for it. It's what separates us from the Jedi. It's what keeps us alive. The third line of our code reads: No serenity, only passion. Your passion stems from your emotion. Do you understand?" He asked a simple question, but again it was open ended enough for her to explain what the line meant to her, what it indicated and even what she could learn from it.
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He ignored her thank you, breaking the brief silence with the continuation of their lesson, "You came to the Bogan by chance, or at least that is how it seems to you. The entire universe seems to function of chance. The fourth line of our code addresses this aspect of the galaxy at large. It reads No harmony, only chaos. Discuss."