Broken Ghost

[Endling vas Precious]

Spoiler: The Library

In spite of the heat a fire popped and flickered in the fireplace.

'Six hours, twelve minutes,' the pages of the book spilled onto her lap. 'That's actually about par.'

Referring to how long it took her to complete the book she had been reading earlier, she smiled gently to Tuesday and closed the dusty tome.

She was in the shabby but comfortable library lined with threadbare rugs and lit by candles and firelight. Andelka realized that the temple must be larger on the inside than it was on the outside; it was also a lot cooler-the atmosphere was that of a nice, chilly fall evening. Books overflowed the bookcases and stood in wobbly stacks in the corners and even on the mantelpiece. The furniture was distinguished but mismatched, and in places it was severely battered. In between the bookcases the walls were hung with the usual inexplicable artifacts that accumulate in ancient 'clubs'. Ancient masks, dreary landscape paintings of the planet's past, retired ceremonial daggers, glass cases full of maps and old flasks and the deteriorating corpses of exotic moths that had presumable been captured at great effort and expense. Andelka felt overheated and under-dressed but mostly just relieved to be inside.

There were a few other people in the library. Tuesday was scanning one of the bookshelves and acting like he hadn't noticed them yet. He seemed to be trying to make a serious argument about Force theory, but nobody was listening.

The pas six hours went by beneath a grey watercolour wash of quasi-military vigilance. The squabbling Acolytes she had heard earlier disbanded quickly, and she felt no desirable need to seek them out and demand what all the noise was about. She sank back further into the large chair, idly twirling her fingers through Tuesday's fur.

'Shut up, already. No one is listening about your theory. It's stupid, it's lax. It's probably already been written down somewhere so there's really no point.'
She yawned. 'That was brash?' Tuesday sighed, which sounded like a musty, wormy sack of leather filled with air being squeezed.

Andelka yawned. She had wondered where they had run off to, the people in the hall, or where ever they were. Voices carried like dust on the wind in this place.

We've been in here for the past six hours. You've done nothing but sit here and read and I'm getting quite tired of it. Studying. You should be studying The Force, how to channel it, how to become stronger. Aren't I supposed to be the voice of reason? Yet here you are, and if my observations are correct you're being nothing but unreasonable.

'--both what they half create, and what perceive; well pleased to recognize in nature and the language of the sense, the anchor of my purest thoughts, the nurse, the guide, the guardian of my heart, and soul of all my moral being.' Andelka stopped, pondering what Tuesday had said. She placed the small book down. 'Were you saying something?'

Andelka inspected her hands as if they were the most amazing things in the universe. 'Could kill, with these,' she said quietly. 'Or paint.' She chuckled absentmindedly.

 

[Jake]

Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

If you want my future forget my past,
If you wanna get with me better make it fast,
Now don't go wasting my precious time,
Get your act together we could be just fine

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

What do you think about that now you know how I feel,
Say you can handle my love are you for real,
I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try
If you really bug me then I'll say goodbye.

Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

So here's a story from A to Z, you wanna get with me
you gotta listen carefully,
We got Em in the place who likes it in your face,
we got G like MC who likes it on an
Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady,
and as for me..ah you'll see,
Slam your body down and wind it all around
Slam your body down and wind it all around.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta, you gotta, you
gotta,
you gotta, you gotta, slam, slam, slam, slam
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
Slam your body down zigazig ah
If you wanna be my lover.

 

[Endling vas Precious]

A boy, so unsure of himself and his misconceptions that Andelka instantly noticed him when he entered the area. He inspected the various copses of archaic architecture, lingered on the spider corpses, and relished in the musty antiquity of forgotten tomes.

She was resting her free hand on Tuesday's back, looking and feeling like she'd just washed ashore on a raft that had been gently, limply deposited by the surf on the beach of a silent deserted island. The milky-white afternoon sun filtered into the room from the large skylight. The remains of a game of chess, a sloppy, murderous draw, lay on a nearby table.

The young man was behind her, and had slid a book from the mantelpiece. A deep, thick silence hung in the still air, like stiff white sheets on a clothesline. They were in lotus-land. She whispered something into Tuesday's ear. A small, delicate secret that would be tucked away.

'I have many names. It depends on who you want to know,' she finally said into the deafening silence. She was still reading. 'But most call me Andelka.'
She wondered if she had ever met him, for he seemed oddly familiar. At this angle she could not make out any features. She wondered what had brought him here, to Korriban. Though like a desert, it did have some stunted, twisted traces of life, if you dug for them.

'And you?'

She closed the book and shooed Tuesday away, using the free space on the small table beside her to rest the book down. Her see-through feline was currently batting at an elegantly curled-up spider and she smiled to herself.

 

[Jake]

Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

If you want my future forget my past,
If you wanna get with me better make it fast,
Now don't go wasting my precious time,
Get your act together we could be just fine

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

What do you think about that now you know how I feel,
Say you can handle my love are you for real,
I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try
If you really bug me then I'll say goodbye.

Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

So here's a story from A to Z, you wanna get with me
you gotta listen carefully,
We got Em in the place who likes it in your face,
we got G like MC who likes it on an
Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady,
and as for me..ah you'll see,
Slam your body down and wind it all around
Slam your body down and wind it all around.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta, you gotta, you
gotta,
you gotta, you gotta, slam, slam, slam, slam
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
Slam your body down zigazig ah
If you wanna be my lover.

 

[Endling vas Precious]

Andelka watched, generally perplexed, as shadows crawled and danced up her limbs, forming letters in her book.

Casimir.

'Well. An elegant trick, Casimir. A pleasure to meet you.' She smiled warmly at him, although on the inside she was far from happy. She would sketch out her feelings later. From the corner of her eye she could see Tuesday, stretched back on his perch. Andelka looked back to Casimir, soaking in his features as she reached into her pocket. She produced a marble from her pocket, and immediately she made a series of rapid, business like gestures over the glass orb. It looked like she was doing sign language, or assembling a cat's cradle with invisible string. Her unfussy manner was the opposite of Casimir's slick, show-offy style. Andelka stared at the marble intently, expectantly. Her eyes went a little crossed. Her lips moved, though no words escaped her mouth.

The marble floated precariously in the air and then began to glow red, then white, becoming opaque, an eye clouding over with a milky cataract. A slender undulating curl of grey smoke rose up from the sphere. Andelka rubbed her hands together.

'It takes a minute for my fingers to become impervious.'

Cautiously, as if she were retrieving a hot dish from an oven, Andelka plucked at the glass marble with her fingertips. It was now molten from the heat, and it pulled like taffy. In four quick, sure motions she gave the marble four legs, and then added a head and a slender tail. Removing herself from her seat, she strode over to the mantle, the glass animal floating behind her. Setting it down on the mantle she watched Casimir intently. When she took her hands away and blew on it the marble rolled over, shook itself once, and stood up. It had become a tiny, plump glass cat. It began to walk across the mantle, towards the other Acolyte. For a while, the only sound was the soft tik-tik-katikkatik of its pointy glass feet on the stone mantle.

Andelka could feel The Force bristling at her fingertips, and it glowed like a beating heart within the crude glass duplicate of Tuesday. It stopped beside Casimir.

'I usually come here to study Sith Alchemy. That was a crude example, but I'm getting better. That was hardly a representation of evil.' She nodded to the glass figure. 'But, I come here to unwind, too. I spend most of my time here. It's my fortress.' She leaned against the mantle, crossing her arms over the chest, watching Casimir's expression. 'I'm terrible with a lightsaber and hardly have an understanding of The Force,' she began. 'But a pastiche usually grows into a symphony with time.'

She turned her head, looking at Tuesday who in return squinted his brilliant red eyes at her. She smiled.

'What about you? One doesn't come to a library only to admire the eight-legged corpses that look like shiny black gems.' She laughed quietly, to herself. A private joke. Tuesday was laughing too, remembering the secret she had shared with him.

 

[Jake]

Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

If you want my future forget my past,
If you wanna get with me better make it fast,
Now don't go wasting my precious time,
Get your act together we could be just fine

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

What do you think about that now you know how I feel,
Say you can handle my love are you for real,
I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try
If you really bug me then I'll say goodbye.

Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

So here's a story from A to Z, you wanna get with me
you gotta listen carefully,
We got Em in the place who likes it in your face,
we got G like MC who likes it on an
Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady,
and as for me..ah you'll see,
Slam your body down and wind it all around
Slam your body down and wind it all around.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta, you gotta, you
gotta,
you gotta, you gotta, slam, slam, slam, slam
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
Slam your body down zigazig ah
If you wanna be my lover.

 

[Endling vas Precious]

That was the wonderful thing about strangers. They were big blank pieces of paper, you could draw whatever you like on their impressionable surfaces. She wondered what she could draw on Casimir, what she could paint on him.

'What makes you tick, Casimir?' She asked. 'For me I find relief in poetry. Always learn poems by heart. They have to become the marrow in your bones. Like fluoride in the water, they'll make your soul impervious to the world's decay.' How right that the body changed over time, becoming a gallery of scars, a canvas of experience, a testament to life and one's capacity to endure it. She wondered if this was true for Casimir as well. As she thought this, she was half a planet away, floating in a turquoise sea, dancing by moonlight to a sunken piano.

Suddenly, he started to do something quite unexpected, and Andelka watched in horror as the glass figurine hovered between his hands. Just when she thought she could not feel more alone, the universe peeled away another layer of darkness. She wanted to lunge at him, beg for him to stop, to put her glass shell of secrets down, but she could only watch, fascinated, as Tueday's innards were splayed out in front of her. It was like watching a rainbow being slowly cut with a hot knife, and watching the colours seep out like a grotesque, bleeding painting. Her whispers of insecurity she had locked away in the glass figure flashed in Tuesdays eyes; he was watching intently, almost mocking her stupidity.

She watched as the droplets of glass splashed to his feet like explicit pearls of mercury.

'Don't turn over the rocks if you don't want to see the pale creatures who live under them.'

How easy you are. Like a limpet you attach yourself to anyone who shows you the least bit of attention.

She glared at Tuesday momentarily before returning her attention to Casimir. Her work, beautiful? Andelka chuckled softly.

'Thank you.' It was a lie. She wanted to tear Casimir apart and demand that he piece together the glass cat, patch together her inner self and give it back, because she was livid, although she did not look the part. That was her edge. Her secret weapon. She looked like she didn't give a shit.

'You are talented,' she said quietly, studying him like he was a secret message in a complex puzzle. The young Acolyte wanted to run and hide, to find a large canvas and angrily assault it with paint, but like a frightened rabbit she stood, insides quivering. Panic was the worst thing. When she panicked, she couldn't see possibilities. Then came despair.

However, there was something comforting about Casimir's presence, as if displaying her inner turmoils to her locked away in a glass animal was helping her. As much as she wanted to slam his head into the mantel, she wanted to learn more about him. Perhaps he could help her realize Tuesday wasn't real and she was secretly lying to herself.

Don't you dare--

'I've been trying to find someone more adept to teach me Sith Alchemy. I haven't been very successful. Perhaps we could study together, sometime?' She smoothed down the creased folds of her sweater, watching her feet shift uncomfortably in her socks. Tuesday had slinked over to her side, and like a seductive whisper his tail coiled around her ankle, reminding her he would always be there. She was not used to being cruel, but he had taught her how. She didn't know the difference, now.

 

[Jake]

Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

If you want my future forget my past,
If you wanna get with me better make it fast,
Now don't go wasting my precious time,
Get your act together we could be just fine

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

What do you think about that now you know how I feel,
Say you can handle my love are you for real,
I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try
If you really bug me then I'll say goodbye.

Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

So here's a story from A to Z, you wanna get with me
you gotta listen carefully,
We got Em in the place who likes it in your face,
we got G like MC who likes it on an
Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady,
and as for me..ah you'll see,
Slam your body down and wind it all around
Slam your body down and wind it all around.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta, you gotta, you
gotta,
you gotta, you gotta, slam, slam, slam, slam
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
Slam your body down zigazig ah
If you wanna be my lover.

 

[Endling vas Precious]

‘Constancy
(as) with (and yet)
antithesis’
-Goethe​

Lately, the world felt fragile, like a blown egg, as if it might shatter beneath a careless touch.

Andelka cocked a pale eyebrow at his display. Was he playing some sort of of strange game spun from illusions? If he was, it was an interesting web she wished to be in the middle of. She was like a shiny black spider, caught in his trap; a spider caught in sticky strands. Ironic? Tuesday shook his head. He knew just as well that Andelka was playing a card game too--catch twenty-one or lay down a royal flush?--but the outcome remained unclear.

She watched with curious intent as he shifted his eyes to the ground, focusing on the puddle, the raw, liquid material rising to make shapes and cords of strange flesh. She let a small chuckle pass through, smiling at the words of his future he so carelessly let slip out. His eyes flicked up to meet hers, intense, the flames licking up the side of his face, illuminating planes of green in which she could see truth. Hers or his? Tuesday looked like he had an answer, but he was too busy watching Casimir's counterfeit man.

Andelka inhaled sharply, and the distance between them, millimeters only, the space of a breath, opened up and deepened, became an abyss at whose edge she stood.

His fingers on her cheek--was she imagining this, another projection of silent contempt?--felt like ice, and yet the fire sputtered like a coughing beast, elucidating his flesh. He was speaking, words flowing from his mouth: Foam of a serpentine tongue. She found herself caught in his coil, he was squeezing, forcing ambiguity to bubble from her fractured axiom.

'...bleak territory of the heart,' she said, eyes fleeting. Andelka gave him a small smile.

Her torrid, unpredictable flight-path, like the crest of a wave. Her emotions (lack thereof). The way she could assess a situation and embark on the most unreasonable path. Was this what he meant?

'Of course, being what we are, you can't take my words at face value-' A pause. It was a moment made up of a thousand different things- 'But in time I will prove them to you. In time you will know me and I you.' Andelka looked up at Casimir, surprised. Andelka was not used to ‘carrying her heart on her sleeve’, but it was all she could do, one last defense against the tumult of wild dogs. And then a hand, cautiously cool and firm on her shoulder; another, too, joined in. His hands pulled her shoulders into his frame and she wished she could stop time, only for a few seconds more. It was the touch she had been waiting for, the touch she had longed for during the sleepless and lonely hours, small figure pressed up against a cold window, eyes becoming acquainted with the night. She exhaled. The weakest cry for war.

When he released her, his eyes, like thick panes of green glass, were looking down at her pace. She could see her own viridan eyes in his, and she did not like what she saw. It was like looking into a warped mirror, her form disfigured and mouth bubbling red froth like a freshly killed animal. He was ubiquitous. It was like he was floating around, and filling up the little cracks inside of her that she didn't know existed. But then those cracks would get too filled, and eventually she'd break open again. Her heart, everything else, would be laid out on the table like some grotesque display and suddenly she'd be scrambling to fix herself.

A fear Andelka had transformed all these years, like a gifted alchemist, into anger and emotionless rebellion.

'I'm like the fire bird from Earth's legends,' she began, not even realizing she was speaking, 'but instead of rising from the ashes, I'm burning. I'm on fire,' she said, almost in her normal voice. 'I didn't think-I'm burning.' She didn't know who she was talking to. Andelka walked back towards the small table beside the weathered armchair, and retrieved her sketch pad. She turned her back to his, drawing, making sure he couldn't see, making sure he couldn't see her removing her physicality. What was she drawing? A rock? Something underneath? She would leave it up to Casimir to interpret. 'I have yet to turn to salt and ash.'

Andelka handed him the piece of paper. It was a like a secret; a void space that held only a crux of thinly veiled nuances.

'I look forward to studying with you as well,' she began, slowly, quietly.

'Our cloak-and-dagger.'

Her mind had become a loopy parody of itself, stretched thin as taffy, translucent as cellophane.

'Our cryptic, hush-hush, clandestine, unpublished, abstruse--'

Something unspeakable had happened, but she couldn't keep a hold of it. Somehow the world as she knew it was no longer there. She'd managed to find a reasonably soft, sandy patch of floor to recline on-it was thoughtful pf Casimir, really, to have brought her to a room where the sand was so deliciously fine and cool. Although it was a shame that this clean white sand was now almost entirely saturated with blood, hers and Casimir's.

'--secret.'

It was still hard for Andelka to grasp. It would take time, and patience, but eventually she would unwind him, pick him apart and categorize every action and phrase and meaning; place them in neat little jars and bury them away for later use. There was a start, a middle, and a an end: It was a pastiche of sorts. Andelka didn’t know where she was now but the algorithm she in envisioned was long. It would be hard work but she would crack the code.

She wondered when they would start their studies? Tomorrow? Today? In the next thousand years? In all honesty, Andelka didn't feel like she was ready to face the crucible of combat.

She was not Andelka. She was a righteous destroying angel. She was blue and nude and wore an expression of irrepressible hilarity.

 

[Jake]

Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

If you want my future forget my past,
If you wanna get with me better make it fast,
Now don't go wasting my precious time,
Get your act together we could be just fine

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

What do you think about that now you know how I feel,
Say you can handle my love are you for real,
I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try
If you really bug me then I'll say goodbye.

Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

So here's a story from A to Z, you wanna get with me
you gotta listen carefully,
We got Em in the place who likes it in your face,
we got G like MC who likes it on an
Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady,
and as for me..ah you'll see,
Slam your body down and wind it all around
Slam your body down and wind it all around.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta, you gotta, you
gotta,
you gotta, you gotta, slam, slam, slam, slam
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
Slam your body down zigazig ah
If you wanna be my lover.