Cregan Sets The Galaxy Straight

[Kano Taes]

Dear Cregan

So, I haven't had the chance to talk with a jedi in a long time, everytime I encounter one we end fighting, so, I have to ask you this.
Are the jedi as boring as I remember them? When I was a jedi I didnt get to have any kind of fun, most jedi arent like you, they dont do anything besides fighting and exiling people, like that overgrown toad that seems inmortal.
How do you not die out of boredom?

Best regards,
-Haunting looking guy

 

[Darth Evandrus]

Dear Cregan

So, I haven't had the chance to talk with a jedi in a long time, everytime I encounter one we end fighting, so, I have to ask you this.
Are the jedi as boring as I remember them? When I was a jedi I didnt get to have any kind of fun, most jedi arent like you, they dont do anything besides fighting and exiling people, like that overgrown toad that seems inmortal.
How do you not die out of boredom?

Best regards,
-Haunting looking guy

Dear Haunting Looking Guy,

Well I'm always happy to try and fill gaps in people's knowledge when it comes to the Jedi! Just ignore Evalyn shouting in the background about how wrong I am - she's a bit of a buzzkill like that.

If you're reading this - Love you Evalyn! You're like my disapproving big sister!

The short answer? Yes and no.

Yes - because most of them are hyper focused. Just like some of the Exiles are boring because they're so into the killing or the blood or the weirdness or whatever, many Jedi are focused on books and drinking tea and meditating.

No - because quite a lot of them are actually a lot more like me than you realise. Sure, they put their 'game faces' on when facing down Exiles but quite a lot of them are just as interested in sex, booze and having some fun as I am.

I cannot comment on any toads, overgrown or otherwise, due to as of yet not having my beloved's permission to ruin their minds with some sexy pictures.

So the final answer? I don't die of boredom for several reasons;

• Romance
• Wedding planning
• Outside interests - Pod racing is fun to watch
• Friends outside the Order
• Interesting friends inside the Order
• Holovids are amazing - golden age of holo right now guys
• Writing poetry
• Writing a children's novel about Blasto the Bombastic Bothan
• Finding terrible music to swap for the meditation music used for Youngling meditation hours (Sample 1 -- Sample 2 -- Sample 3)

I'm afraid it's going to take more than boredom to kill me!

Kind regards,
Cregan "Uglier on the Inside" Doldan

 

[Abeos Sarquas]

Hello There
​

Speaking from Jedi to Jedi, I admire your work, you really are amazing. Cregan, you are truly a one of a kind, but I have a couple of questions if I may.

• What is your preferred color of robe? I like to settle in a nice comfortable Brown or Green
• Can you stop fights with your mind?

Sincerely,
ABEOS SARQUAS△

 

[Wyck]

Wyck @MasterWyck10 ・ 2m

Replying to @CreganDoldan and @SmellyKalVox

#Blocked

 

[Darth Evandrus]

Dear Abeos,

Well you're going to be giving me a swelled head at this rate but thank you very much! I appreciate it!

1. Robes don't tend to be my thing honestly - I tend to be undercover or at least pretending not to be a Jedi when I'm out and about in the Galaxy. When I am at the Temple though? I prefer a light brown robe with lighter colours. What robes you wear isn't NEARLY as important as what you wear beneath them however; the correct answer is as little as possible. Jedha gets hot man.
2. As in can I used the Force to stop fights? I guess I could. Do you mean can I stop fights with my thoughts alone? No, because that'd be way too Over Powered. If you mean, 'Can I stop fights without resorting to violence?' then I'd like to say I can. Chatting with people tends to make them a lot less violent.

Hope this has been useful my friend!

Kindest Regards,
Cregan

------

BTW - Anyone had any messages from Wyck recently? I feel like he's been really quiet recently on the holonet. We should probably get some dogs on the case or something you know? Old green toad has probably become one with the Force while on the fresher or something.

 

[Eivor Vivas]

Dear Cregan,

Can you please ask @Wyck if this is him in his younger years:

I feel like they are one in the same.

<3 E

 

[Darth Evandrus]

Dear Cregan,

Can you please ask @Wyck if this is him in his younger years:

I feel like they are one in the same.

<3 E

Heya there Wayward Little Sister!

I have to admit that I didn't expect to hear from you but the fact that I heard from you only to use me to ask about Wyck? Now that's just cold little Sister! Cold I say!

That being said...

There is kind of a resemblance isn't there? I'll see about bringing it up with Evalyn (@Valen Pelora ) and the rest of the council you know? Got to check of Wyck (@Malon ) really ever was that young go better!

Hopefully he is... the Jedi could use a nice Swamp to use I think.

Lots of brotherly (And definitely non sexual) love,

Cregan

 

[Dennys Waszylla]

From: [email protected]

"HEY, CREGAN! I'VE BEEN HEARING OF THE EMERGENCE OF A POSSIBLE NEW BADASS IN THE GALAXY. YOU HAVE BEEN DEEMED WORTHY OF ATTEMPTING THE BADASS TRIALS OF BADASSITUDE ON THE PLANET BADASSIA. ACTUALLY ITS JUST JAKKU, BUT MY NAME IS BETTER. IF YOU'RE AS MUCH OF A POTENTIAL BADASS AS THEY SAY, YOU SHOULD HAVE NO PROBLEM PASSING THESE TRIALS AND TAKING THE MANTLE OF PROFESSIONAL BADASS. IF YOU'RE INTERESTED SHOOT ME A REPLY AND WE'LL GET THIS MOTHERKRIFFER STARTED.

WHAT? YES, I'M DRUNK. YES, I TYPE WHAT I SAY EVEN IN VERBAL CONVERSATIONS. IT'S AN ENDEARING CHARACTER TRAIT. WAIT, WHAT YOU DO MEAN I'M TYPING IN ALL CAPS, THE CAPSLOCK ISN'T whoops

Message sent

 

[Darth Evandrus]

Dear PapaWaszylla,

I feel like we may have met... also I feel like this may be spam but then again, you haven't offered to enlarge my penis or ask me to send money to a rich prince on Nar Shaddaa so I suppose you're really not spam.

Badass things sound rather badass I'll admit!

Name the time and the place and I'll be there! I'm going to be the very best, like no one ever was!

The best, around,
Cregan "No One's Ever Gonna Keep Me Down" Drast

 

[Bayani Isko]

Greetings Master Jedi.

It is so wonderful to know that there someone of your order willing to answer questions here online. You see I am a knowledge seeker, traveling the galaxy to learn more about life and it’s mysteries. The Jedi Order has always been an inspiration to me even though your group has dosen’t always have the best reputation with other people. My question deals the Force itself. According to my studies the Force is repeatedly described as an energy field that exists all in living things and binds the universe together.

If that is the case why does the Force only manifest in certain individuals and things but why not everything else? Wouldn’t the galaxy be in a better state than it is now if the Force can be felt and used by all living entities?

Sincerely, Bayani Isko.

 

[Darth Evandrus]

Hello there!

Taking some getting used to, being a Jedi Master I'll admit! People keep saying 'Master' at me and I have the strangest urge to start calling them 'Sub' for some reason...

But anyway!

I'm glad to hear that you're enjoying your quest for knowledge! Knowledge is a very important thing and I'm glad that you're looking for answers to the bigger questions. Admittedly I'm probably not the 'Best' type of Jedi for you to ask this but that's fine - I'm always happy to help anyway.

The way I see it... sometimes people are born different. Sometimes the Force itself Wills that one creature be able to sense it, be able to use it's power. Usually this is because they have some kind of higher purpose in the future according to the Force itself. BUT. It is entirely within your power, as a self-determining sentient being, to forge your own path regardless of the Will of the Force - you will keep the ability to manipulate the Force despite not following it's Will because of your own right to determine your own destiny, in my mind.

As for why it wouldn't be a good thing if everyone could use it - ask yourself this. If you could Will something to happen just by thinking it, how many actions would happen without you really meaning it? How many people would you hit with the Force for annoying you slightly? For cutting you off in traffic? Every bar fight would have the very real possibility of destroying the building, ever demonstration turns violent a city would be levelled.

So no, I think it is, surprisingly, better to have Force Sensitivity decided upon by the unknowable Will of the Force itself, rather than trusting everyone to use it responsibly.

Hope that helped because that was the most serious question I ever answered!

Much peace and love,

Master Cregan Drast

 

[Casta Mere]

Wow another self-righteous Jedi trying to solve all of the galaxy’s problems. Ha good luck with that. I must admit though your approach is amusing if anything else. Though it will never change the fact that you and your so-called brethern are nothing more than miserable failures. All the same I demand an answer to a certain question of mine.

Do you Jedi scum get lightsabers stuck up your asses before or after training?

Your Order must do it considering how messed up your Exiles are. As far I’m concerned all of you, Jedi and Exiles can go frak yourselves! I look forward to collecting your lightsaber should we ever meet and piss on your grave afterward. LOL!

With not so kind regards, Casta Mere.

 

[Darth Evandrus]

Hello there Mr. Sourpuss!

Did someone step on your tail or something and now you blame it on Force Users? Don't worry - it's pretty common in people who's backstories from from Fanfiction.holonet and I hear that's where all the cool kids hang out!

As for the lightsaber + ass question, I'm afraid I must decline to answer. After all, a Jedi's lightsaber is his life. And if a Jedi, or Exile, wants to spend their entire life up their own ass? Well that's up to them and it's not out place to judge alright?

Now run along little kitty cat and remember - if you come at me I will neuter you over the course of several days, until you beg for death.

Then I'll just leave you to slowly die of infection in some cell somewhere.

Ciao!

Cregan Drast

 

[Dwight Antilles]

You are interesting... and good looking.

Hit me up on SpaceHarmony or stop by at the Senate building after business hours. Yes, I know that's not a question

- Sincerely
Senator Dwight Antilles of Alderaan

 

[Darth Evandrus]

You are interesting... and good looking.

Hit me up on SpaceHarmony or stop by at the Senate building after business hours. Yes, I know that's not a question

- Sincerely
Senator Dwight Antilles of Alderaan

Hello there Senator Antilles!

I see that you are also rather interesting and good looking - shall we form a club? I think we should. But first, where are my manners? Would you care for a nude, dear Senator?

While I'm always looking to meet up with new and exciting people, I'm afraid I might have to say no to your spaceharmony suggestion! I'm a bar scene kinda guy, not really big on the whole relationship via the holonet kind of thing you know? But I don't think we're gonna bang buddy.

I'm not the kind of guy who wants to be on the holonet as a thot, for senators with lots of money you know?

With regret,

Cregan Drast

 

[Jinlo Halan]

Good Afternoon Master Drast,

Just 'transfered' to the Jedi Temple on Jedha and was wondering if you had any recommendations on where to source council approved attire that's not from the quartermaster, holodisks and Coruscanti food capsules?

Also Just moved into the my dorm and the built in holonet terminal seems to have an admin log in for Wookieleaks, Is that something to be concerned about?

- Jin

 

[Darth Evandrus]

Good Afternoon Master Drast,

Just 'transfered' to the Jedi Temple on Jedha and was wondering if you had any recommendations on where to source council approved attire that's not from the quartermaster, holodisks and Coruscanti food capsules?

Also Just moved into the my dorm and the built in holonet terminal seems to have an admin log in for Wookieleaks, Is that something to be concerned about?

- Jin

Well hello there Jin!

Please - call me Cregan! Mentioning my wife's last name tended to get the council angry at me for some reason and I'd like to go at least one day without Evalyn throwing me through a wall.

Pretty sure the reconstruction costs are huge...

But anyway! Yes, your question!

I'm not so good at clothes I'm afraid - just see this outfit I met Eivor in for the first time. The locals told me that tight leather trousers and leather belts for a shirt was a local gang uniform but I'm beginning to have doubts about whether or not they were just trying to invite me to their sex dungeon.

But as a rule of thumb? Jedha is hot as hell so be sure to get something their either breathes really well or leaves a lot of skin exposed so you can chill!

Plus showing abs seems to make Wyck (@Malon ) forgetful. Just flex your abs a bit and he goes real quiet and trails off a little bit... that might just be because he's like right on eye level with my crotch and I have this like V thing that just seems to go down but that's getting off topic.

Nope.

Just avoid the DeviantHolo pages - they're got some dirty, dirty shipping pictures on there.

And if it's my old room please ignore all of the pictures of different Jedi Masters on the computer.

Thanks!

Looking forward to meet you,
Cregan Drast

 

[Rask Vahnal]

Hey baby, what are you wearing right now? Because I just got out of the shower and-

...

...Okay so this isn't my girlfriend's holonet address. Just forget that first part and the picture attached. As long as I'm here I guess I'll ask a question or whatever. What's the craziest, just the wildest farking thing you ever did drunk? I wanna see if I'm still record holder for the galaxy's best drunken antics.

 

[Darth Evandrus]

Hey baby, what are you wearing right now? Because I just got out of the shower and-

...

...Okay so this isn't my girlfriend's holonet address. Just forget that first part and the picture attached. As long as I'm here I guess I'll ask a question or whatever. What's the craziest, just the wildest farking thing you ever did drunk? I wanna see if I'm still record holder for the galaxy's best drunken antics.

Huh.

And I thought Wookies were furry.

Not entirely sure what to do with this photo if I'm honest... I think I'm going to pass it onto a friend if I'm honest. See if you take his fancy. That cool with you Mikko (@Insalius)? Just think of the size difference!

But the stupidest thing I've ever done while drunk?

You assume I need to get drink to do stupid things - I threw Andraste, Lady of Darkness and Exiles, over a short gap in the floor because I forgot that we were both Force Users and could easily clear the gap in a small jump. But there was this one time with a zeltron, a vacuum cleaner and zucchini... I'd say more but my holonet activity is being monitored by the Order and I'm still technically wanted on Onderon for how that whole situation climaxed.

I mean, ended.

Think you might still win! I'm not a guy who needs alcohol or drugs to enhance his enjoyment of life!

Remember kids - hugs not drugs.
Cregan Drast

 

[Blythe]

Blythe @sparkleprincess220 ・ 49m

Messaged @CreganDoldan

Omg cregan i just got the biggest clothing haul of my life. i found the cutest red and green plaid skirt ever and it fits me perfectly. Next time you visit we should totally like go clothing shopping together. are you into wearing skirts? i think you'd look totally cute in one.