Dating a foreign girl.

[Matt]

Anyone done it? I mean a completely different culture as I've just got back from an amazing date with a Lithuanian girl, other than sounding like Borat I'm wondering what I should steer clear off.

 

[Nameless]

Bah, nothing to steer clear of really. Other than her parents, but that's normal when dating girls from different cultures. They tend to resent the fact that you aren't the nice -race/nationality applicable- man that their daughter should be with.

 

[Kaeb]

A few times.

If anything, it just made things more interesting/fun trying to get to know each other, because of the supposed difference in culture. I reccomend dating outside of your comfort zone to everyone actually, taste the rainbow and all that shizz.

 

[Padmé]

Whatever you do, remember to respond with "yes, sir" and "no madame/ma'am" AND wrap it up. Though I would advise you to wait>.<

 

[Vencu]

Just stay away from Puerto Ricans.

 

[Kaeb]

Embrace her culture.

That always works for me.

 

[Rom]

Just stay away from Puerto Ricans.

Where were you with this piece of wisdom 5 years ago??

 

[Vencu]

Where were you with this piece of wisdom 5 years ago??

You must have found out the hard way. Where were you when I decided to marry one?

 

[Mistress]

Not going to get into it, but your Soulmate is 100% just like you, not 100% opposite you.

 

[Rom]

Not going to get into it, but your Soulmate is 100% just like you, not 100% opposite you.

So a human being? I guess I can deal with that... Though when I was 5 I was convinced me and my gold fish that I won at the fair would be life companions for ever

When we flushed him a week later I cried for hours.

~~~~

Also - that's a horribly bigoted thing to say or believe.

 

[Rom]

You must have found out the hard way. Where were you when I decided to marry one?

Falling in love with a Mexican.... I never learn

 

[Padmé]

So a human being? I guess I can deal with that... Though when I was 5 I was convinced me and my gold fish that I won at the fair would be life companions for ever

When we flushed him a week later I cried for hours.

~~~~


Also - that's a horribly bigoted thing to say or believe.

Rom, I believe she meant *in like* with you, not *sexual orientation.*

 

[Mistress]

~~~~

Also - that's a horribly bigoted thing to say or believe.

So your not just a smart ass, you're a psychic who can tell me everything you feel that I need to know about myself.

There is nothing bigoted about what I said at all.

 

[Rom]

Bigotry isn't just in relation to sexual orientation, Padme. She's essentially saying in the context of this threads conversation that if you're not from the same culture nothing can ever work out because "soul mates" are your fellow cultural norm followers living in a space separated from other spaces by old men years ago with lines on a piece of paper.

To paraphrase Dr Ian Malcolm, love finds a way.

~~~

Lutomi - then go into it. Explain your position. Don't make a statement like that in a thread about cross-culture dating and not expect to get called out on it.

Edit; I am not and have not called you a bigot. I said that what you said was bigoted.

 

[Padmé]

You'll be surprised once folks open up.

I'll defer to Lutomi, as I don't know what she meant by her recent response.

/

 

[Kaeb]

In fairness, Lutomi's response just plain doesn't make any sense at all.

 

[Mistress]

I retract my smart ass. I'll see if it continues to stand.

You should not need to change one thing about yourself to please anyone else, if this is your soulmate. Once you change yourself, you live a fantasy. You won't be happy in the long run, and you risk that dreaded day when you stop pretending to be someone else, revert back to whoever you once were and want to be, and you both look at one another and wonder who the heck they are or have been all along.

 

[Kito]

I didn't know anyone had problems with people from other cultures when dating.

Do what you would do with someone of your own culture if you like them date them or if you are after something else well thats on your grounds. Culture has never stopped me getting with someone although as a Scot when I do go with someone English I do like to mention if she ever has a kid it must be born north of the border.

 

[Kaeb]

I retract my smart ass. I'll see if it continues to stand.

You should not need to change one thing about yourself to please anyone else, if this is your soulmate. Once you change yourself, you live a fantasy. You won't be happy in the long run, and you risk that dreaded day when you stop pretending to be someone else, revert back to whoever you once were and want to be, and you both look at one another and wonder who the heck they are or have been all along.

....what the **** are you talking about?

 

[BLADE]

Lutomi: Look, I've been with my wife for twelve years now, and one thing I've learned is that relationships are about compromise and learning what to work on and what to let go. I don't believe in this idea of a soulmate, though if I had to be mushy, I guess I'd describe my wife and I this way. The truth is, some people are compatible. Some of those people are very compatible. And then some of those very compatible people have the emotional maturity, financial stability, and luck to make a long-term relationship work.

Work. Rewarding and often fun, but a lot of relationship-building is work.

@OP:

My wife and I come from very different backgrounds, and we each certainly had to learn different things (I learned about Buddhism and Japanese culture, and my wife learned Portuguese, and Ashkenazi/Sephardic Jewish culture.) There are differences, sure, but the commonality of the human experience is a pretty powerful thing. We still have different tastes, different opinions, and sometimes marked disagreements. But nobody else understands me as well as she does, and vice versa. It's a meeting of the minds. The cultural difference is simply an element that can add both challenges and rewards.