Ask Yavin IV Holistic Healing

[Varyn Atrix]

Per my new OP template, thread is death enabled​

Varyn was lucky that he had been extracted back to the medcenter during the "golden hour." His wounds - although quite severe - had been stabilized, but he'd been assured he would be out of commission for several weeks at least.

When Varyn had finally woken up after surgery, bacta, and all the rest, he was surprised to look over and find Altair in the bed next to him. So much for space HIPAA. The fact was, the two of them... hadn't really talked much. Not since he had told Altair that he was a Jedi. Even with the death of the Jedi Councilor and the preparation for Yavin everything had just been strictly business. He knew that the information had hurt Altair, and he wondered - hoped, really - that this may have been the step to mend up the hole that had grown in their friendship.

Did we win? he asked, his voice coming out far more raspy than he'd expected after not having talked at all for... however long he had been down. Truthfully, he had no idea what had happened or even where precisely he was other than "medical bay." If it weren't for the fact that he had been in the Yavin medical bay before, they could have been there. Probably a Star Destroyer... if he had to guess?

 

[Altair Din]

Altair was sitting up in his bed, actually in the process of eating an ice cream cone with his left hand. His right shoulder was heavily bandaged. Star Guardians being neutral meant there were more than a few volunteers that had taken a liking to him for whatever reason. One of them snagged him a treat and he was enjoying himself while reading reports about the battle. This was a clean invasion - the only targets had been military. Civilian casualties were minimized and there was no mass slaughter of children or any other sadistic nonsense. It was exactly how he wanted this assault to play out.

He glanced over when Varyn spoke, the tiefling in the middle of licking the ice cream with his abnormally long, studded tongue. Some of it was already beginning to melt over his fingers thanks to his higher than normal body temperature.

“Naw, bruh,” Altair said grimly, “We died and are waiting to be processed to see if we can become Force ghosts or not.”

The tiefling swiped through a few more of the reports, “You got fucked up a pretty bad,” Altair said, “Prolly lost your spleen, liver, kidney and some other shit,” He said matter of factly, entirely unhelpful when it came to words of comfort, “But we won,” Altair said finally with a grin, “Want an ice cream? The nurse been real sweet on me and can hook you up.”

 

[Varyn Atrix]

Varyn felt his gut drop when he heard Altair say they hadn't won. It didn't connect in his brain that his entire attitude, demeanor, and even the way he said it was far too relaxed for if they had actually lost.

As the joke unfolded, though, he got the impression that was his real answer. He almost didn't hear how badly he'd been messed up in favor of having heard those three sweet words.

But we won. That was what had mattered, that was what they had accomplished.

He flopped backwards even further into the bed (if that was possible) and let out a sigh of relief. Yeah, that guy tried real hard to kill me, he finally said, referring back to how badly he had been messed up. He'd taken injuries before - blaster shots as a Jedi and that confounded Killik centipede on the shardship - but this was a whole different level. It was the closest by far that he had come to death.

His head turned back over to look at Altair and his ice cream cone and the tongue that was doing multiple laps around it.

Dude, kriff yeah, he said. He could definitely go for some ice cream right now.

Looks like you got banged up, too, he said, motioning with his chin towards Altair's assortment of bandages. Varyn hadn't really been lucid enough to see how the fight with the other Jedi had ended, but at some point along the way, it seemed Altair had picked up his own damage.

 

[Altair Din]

Altair nodded, “I ain’t surprised. That dude gets sent on every damn battle. I dunno who he pissed off to keep drawin’ the short stick,” He snickered as he licked his ice cream, “That was the third time I seen that dude in battle,” Altair shook his head, “I’d wanna kill someone too.”

He pressed the button to call over the volunteer. The girl from before came by, smiling entirely too brightly when she spotted Altair. He smiled back, “Ayo can you hook up my buddy here with a treat too?” She looked to Varyn, eyeing him for a moment, “Um…I’m sorry, due to his condition-”

“Oh yeah, I forgot, he’s missing a bunch of his bits,” Altair snickered, “I’ll take a second one on his behalf, Ami.”

“You remembered my name?” She asked breathlessly. Altair said nothing, blankly staring at her as he quietly ate his ice cream. Eventually she got the hint that she needed to leave. She cleared her throat, gave Varyn a fidget spinner as a consolation prize, and shuffled off awkwardly.

Altair got to work on his two ice creams. He grinned when Varyn brought up his injuries, “You should see the other guy,” He said as he glanced over, “I thought he was dead before I called over help for all three of you KO’d fucks on the field,” Altair shook his head.

“Well, Varyn,” He said quietly after a moment of silence, “I figure you gotta be way off your rockers to get almost Maul’d and still be a Jedi,” Altair chuckled quietly, “I trust you, brother,” He said as met Varyn’s gaze for a moment.

 

[Varyn Atrix]

Varyn recognized a lot of the things in the man he had fought out there, and hearing that he'd been across the battlefield from Altair so many times, it just started to make sense why he had become as submerged in the darkness as he had.

He was still thinking about this when Altair called the girl back into the room. He really shouldn't have been surprised that he already had a girl who was sweet on him here, but it still never ceased to amaze him.

He groaned as he heard that he wasn't allowed any ice cream and was instead handed a fidget spinner. Thanks, he said, with all the excitement in his tone that this face showed.

I'm surprised he wasn't dead, Varyn said as Altair mentioned how the other guy looked. Frankly, in the exchange between Varyn and the other Jedi, he was pretty sure that he, himself, had not come out the winner. Well, he did have his arm, so maybe it was hard to say.

The next words, though, struck Varyn deep in his heart, and it very nearly brought a bro-tear to his eye. But that was too wussy, so he definitely didn't let that actually happen.

I... he paused a moment, not entirely sure what to say. Another apology wasn't going to help and there was no reverting what had been done. Really, from Varyn's point of view, there was only one thing to say.

I'll have your back through the fire, he said. It was a promise, and one he intended to keep.

Well, actually, I guess you're a Tiefling so you don't really need my help in the fire, he said, adding a bit of levity to the serious moment as well. I'll have your back through the frozen wastes of Telos. Because I'm sure we're going to get sent back there eventually, he said. Or at least, I will. Do you even get sent places anymore Mr. Big-Wig Commander, he said.

 

[Altair Din]

Altair snickered at Varyn’s long drawn out version of a sappy comment. It was just like Varyn to either say nothing at all or go over the top if he did. Varyn would simply see Altair staring back at him with a goofy smile, fingers coated with melted ice cream.

“And I will have your back through fire,” He said quietly to Varyn, not at all ashamed of being a sap. The tiefling went back to double fisting his ice creams.

“Everyone still gets sent places,” Altair said as he paused for a moment, “I been gettin’ in good with Trelain I think,” He glanced over at Varyn, “Said I’d be a Moff after I came back from Yavin.”

The tiefling was scrolling through the mission reports with a pinky, “Feels good to have hard work actually rewarded. Don’t imagine the Jedi do that very often.”

 

[Varyn Atrix]

Varyn smiled at Altair's comment, glad to have his friend back again. It had only cost him half a liver. He could only imagine what it was going to cost when he told Vahl. Which was another topic he still needed to broach here and there... oh joy.

Trelain? he said, sucking in air through his teeth. She was the kind of person that made Varyn nervous. Cold, calculating, and ruthless. I guess I can't really say anything against her. She didn't have me killed when reports about me presumably came across her desk, he said. He was sure the Inquisitor who had come to "talk" to him had filed a lengthy report advising more torture than the Empire had had time for.

A Moff, though. Man, congratulations! he said. Altair was certainly having a meteoric rise through the ranks, though Varyn would have been lying if he said it wasn't well-earned.

Nah, Jedi aren't big on having... things, he said. Which I guess doesn't really bother me all that much. I never really thought about earning ranks or titles until I came to the Sith, he said, though as soon as he said it, he wasn't sure that was true.

Well, actually, I don't know. Meh, he finally said. He wasn't accumulating titles quickly, that was for certain.

How's my ice cream? he asked, grumpily, looking over to see Altair now with twice the number of ice cream cones. I wonder if I can just get some more of these painkillers instead, he said, thinking they were making him considerably more relaxed than he would have been otherwise.

So, I want to tell Vahl. She's going to find out sooner or later anyway with this whole invasion thing. It's going to bring up questions, he said. He didn't think that Altair would object at this point, but he wasn't interested in keeping secrets from his friend anymore.

She'll probably rip out whatever organs I have left, but if she and I are going to... well, I don't even know if she and I are going to anything, he said. It had been a constant source of... conflict within him.

 

[Altair Din]

“Deeeeeelicious,” Altair said emphatically as he downed the cone. He awkwardly wiped those fingers off before going to work on the other ice cream. He paused for a moment as he looked at Varyn.

“Did you…have friends here?” He asked curiously, “Does doing all this eat at you?” He often wondered if Varyn was doing all this to prove his loyalty and it actually killed him on the inside. Altair finished up his other ice cream by the time he began to talk about Vahl. The tiefling stiffened a bit, the topic always awkward between the two. Altair knew how Varyn felt about her, and he also knew the complications that existed between himself and Vahl. He silently surveyed him for a few seconds.

“A word of advice…quit waitin’ on her hand and foot,” Altair shook his head, “She’s not into the over the top savior or clingy types. So if that’s been your thing, you need to cut that shit out yesterday,” He wiped his hands clean, “And… if you wanna tell her, I can be there to tell her I forgave it. That way she’ll feel like a dick if she doesn’t forgive you and if she tries to take your head off, I’ll interject,” He rolled his eyes, “And I’ll make a slick exit to give y’all a chance to "make up".”

 

[Varyn Atrix]

Varyn thought about what Altair said about Vahliri, and he could sense the vague discomfort coming from his friend. Or maybe it was coming from Varyn. How in the kriff did he get into a weird love triangle with the only other two people he talked to?

He knew Altair was right about his tendency toward trying to be a protector, and he had butted heads with Vahl about it plenty of times, but never to the point of keeping her from doing what he would do himself, right?

He was genuinely shocked by Altair's offer, and the thought hadn't even crossed his mind. He spent a moment thinking about it in silence.

Thanks, I... I really appreciate that. I think I should probably tell her on my own, but maybe you could put in a good word for me after because I'm sure she'll be upset for... a while, he said. Varyn had a strange sense of honor that could simultaneously allow him to stab someone in the spine on a battlefield without them ever seeing him or assassinate them in their bed at night, but that prevented him from hiding behind anyone else when taking responsibility for his actions.

It occurred to him that it was probably a bad sign of another guy had to put in a good word for him, but this wasn't exactly a normal situation, and this... was something he had to tell her simply if they were going to be friends, not... anything else.

I'd say that maybe I'll do a better job of telling her than I did you, but that's probably a lie. I have a tendency to just spring things on people. Maybe I can do a bit better job of bracing for it this time, he said. Well, he had narrowly survived telling Altair.

As Altair asked about the attack and if he had friends here, Varyn just thought for a moment.

I didn't have a lot of friends in the Jedi, he said. A couple here and there, Crix, a knight who died on Korriban and Zanna who... kriff, I don't know where she is now. I hope she wasn't here, he said.

She and I were both there the night of Ajan Kloss. That night, I did watch friends die, but we weren't slaughtering younglings and Padawans here, he said, his voice far more somber now than it was before. It was different and the same all at once.

 

[Altair Din]

Altair laughed to himself, “Sure I’ll put in a good word. We gotta check in on her anyway,” He remembered, “She and Celeste were fighting here too,” Altair had too much on his plate to worry about every individual friend, but he figured Vahliri and Celeste could handle themselves. As Varyn spoke about his time as a Jedi, Altair paused for a moment.

“Zanna…” He repeated quietly, “Is…she a blue twi’lek?” Altair asked Varyn. If Varyn confirmed, Altair would shake his head sadly with a fond smile, “My best buddy Cairo was sweet on her, I think. Tried to keep it under wraps. I was pretty sure he woulda gone to the Jedi for her,” He said as he temporarily stared off in a different direction. Were they all snared by women in the end? Clove had almost pulled him from his path, Varyn probably left the Jedi for Vahliri and Cairo…who knew what happened to Cairo?

“Padawans count as soldiers. Seriously, they got paddies in their 20s and 40s and I ain't gonna treat 'em like innocents. But no younglings or civilians will be harmed if I’m leading the battle,” Altair said after a moment, “I wanna do things differently. Keep it focused on warfare. I ain't trynna be some comic book villain.”

He looked at Varyn, “Be honest with me,” He said, his face serious again, “Did you leave the Jedi for Vahl? Would you have switched sides if not for her?” Altair couldn’t help but think back to Trelain. The seeds she planted were taking root and he couldn’t shake off the unsettling feeling that came from it.

 

[Varyn Atrix]

Varyn felt a twinge of anxiety wondering if Vahl was okay, but he hadn't felt some monumental shift in the Force to indicate her death, and... well, what had Altair just said? He needed to mellow a bit.

As Altair asked if Zanna was a blue Twi'lek, Varyn sat up a little straighter and then immediately winced as pain shot through his graft sites. Yeah, yeah, she is. You know her? he asked before receiving his answer. Varyn didn't think he'd ever met Cairo, and he found himself wondering silently what happened to him. Probably dead if Varyn had to guess. That was how this war seemed to be going.

Some do, he agreed. Certainly a forty-year-old did, but seriously, why? But my friend Zoy was... what, ten when Kloss got hit? he said. He'd just been trying to evacuate when he'd seen Zoy shrivel and die in front of him. He shook his head. No, no matter what path Varyn chose, he wouldn't be about that sort of violence either.

Good, me too, he said, and that was probably part of the reason he liked the Tiefling so much. He was just a normal guy fighting for his Empire. He wasn't out for slaughter or even really power per se.

The next question caught him off guard, and he took a moment to think about it. She played a role for sure, but so did you, and so did the missions I did for the Empire, he said.

Honestly, there's a lot that went into it that I could talk your ear off about. Shot version: Vahl was a catalyst for a lot of other reasons, he said, not sure if he'd really answered the question satisfactorily or if Altair wanted to hear the long version.

If she died now, I wouldn't be going back, but if I'd never met her. Well, I don't know, I spend lots of time thinking about "what ifs" but nothing ever seems to come out of it, he said with a snorted laugh.