I Am Become Death

[Demiurge]

Exodeus no longer heard the anger in her voice. It wasn't there anymore. Even though she still carried the tone of being unsure, he could sense her state of mind to be clear, not unlike an epiphany coming over her. Yet, it bewildered him, her state, which was once despondent, suddenly replaced with insight, stirring a tempest of unrest and emotion within her.

Before, Exodeus had remained silent as he always had. She spoke and screamed at him with the antics of a little child, not even knowing what it is she was seeking out of him. And nonetheless, Exodeus had stared about her as if he were still dealing with a girl he heard, but refused to listen to. And again, like before, she took her pride with her, and commenced walked past him again.

However, this time was different. She'd stopped, and uttered the words that he could no more remove from his mind than he could his own shadow from the light. It resonated in his thoughts, festering like a disease, like an inescapable echo he could not ignore, and that would never die out. And then, finally and without moving to face her, Exodeus' eyes widened reflexively as he spoke to her in a tone unlike either he'd ever taken with her.

"What... did you say to me?"

 

[Sreeya]

Andraste was trembling, and she hadn't noticed when it had begun. Her words resonated within her mind repeatedly, and she still had a difficult time believing them. For a moment she wondered if she had actually uttered them. Exodeus hadn't said anything for a few moments, and she began to wonder whether it was all in her head. It took her a long moment to remember how to breathe again. However, that was when he finally spoke. His tone sent a chill up her spine.

"I..."

She had made a bold statement. Too bold. He thought she was a fool. He would punish her for her insolence. How could she make such an accusation? Andraste cursed herself inwardly, her face heating up instantly. Her heart pounded against her chest. His question lingered in the air like a dark cloud. It wouldn't disperse unless she faced it. Andraste finally calmed down, relaxing her breathing, finding a way to rationally think through this. She finally summed up the courage to face him and was given yet another shock as she found herself gazing into his wide eyes. There was a look of pure surprise there, something she almost never saw upon his features.

"I said..."

Her voice was weak, pathetic. She could do nothing. Andraste could not look away from his eyes, which suddenly betrayed so much. His expression was impossible to read, but his eyes were windows into his mind. Andraste absentmindedly stepped closer to him. Her left hand reached for his right, her nimble fingers entwining with his. She gently pushed the saber hilt out of his grasp, letting it fall noiselessly into the soft ground below. Andraste kept her eyes locked with his, moving towards him till she was mere inches across from him. She felt the heat between their bodies so close together. Andraste finally lowered her gaze, tilting her head downward till her forehead pressed against his chest. She kept her fingers locked with his. Though she had been intimate with him before, none of it compared to this simple gesture. This seemingly innocent moment. Andraste closed her eyes, sighing against the plating of his armor.

"Do you want me to stay?"

 

[Demiurge]

For the first time, Darth Exodeus truly did not know what to fully expected from Andraste as an answer. A full entourage of expressions perhaps, or even only a short collection of words, still seething in antagonism. Would there even be words? Would it be speech heard only through the Force, and through bonds such as theirs? Whatever the case was, nothing bewildered the Dark Lord more than her stuttering words... her broken speech and hesitating nature.

Her boldness and harshness vanished, replaced by mellowness, as if the former two had depleted or be done away with. Her stance, which had been before, so upright, firm and defiant, was now soft, almost wanting. And her eyes... locked into his just as his did into her, when they first saw each other's eyes, when it seemed as if he were somehow seeing his destiny through her eyes... or perhaps hers through his. It may have been that entrancing stare, or the captivation of the moment that was so short, yet seemed so long, that took hold of him in a way even the Force never had... never could.

Her hand reached down his, and without any gesture of resistance on his part, his lightsaber, which had been in his right hand, fell down to the ground, replaced by her fingers intertwining her hand into his. Her forehead met his chest, as he felt her body lean against him... as he heard her ask the question that had been weighing on his mind, as well as hers. And without a word uttered, Exodeus brought his arm around Andraste's back, and for the first time, held her... held her close to him, held her so that he could feel her warmth, feel her heartbeat as it raced... held her in a way he never would have before - never could have.

And yet, all the while, Exodeus' eyes stared off, betraying an expression of nescience yet determination. His mouth remained loose, as if he could not speak, nor firmly close it. And then, slowly, the Dark Lord lowered his head, staring down at the dark brown hair... and brought his head down over it, staring upon the crown of her head. Finally, Exodeus took his right hand, which had been mingled with Andraste's, and slowly took it away, bringing it too around her upper back, while his left arm held her lower. And still, his expression of unknowing and resolve, remained, never changing even for a moment.

"Why do you ask the question... to which you already know the answer?"

 

[Sreeya]

---​

Andraste twirled a flower between her fingers, looking into the petals. It was mesmerizing, the red spiral drawing her in. Her hair fell around her in a dark cascade, spilling onto his chest. She said nothing for a long moment, the sounds of birds and insects erupting all around them. It was close to evening now, the air slightly chilled. However, oddly enough he exuded warmth, and she laid against it. His Force energy entwined with hers, enclosing her in a warm grasp. She heard his heartbeat beneath her, taking note of the odd four beats instead of the two normal for humans. She could fall asleep here, but knew that he didn't have forever to waste time like this.

"You know those visions you and the other Sith Lords had? Years ago?"

She tilted her head up to look at him, gazing into his eyes which didn't have the malice and hatred they usually held.

"..I don't think that's me. I don't think that's my future, my destiny. I think.."

She trailed off. Andraste wouldn't put it into words, she couldn't. It was a feeling, a very odd feeling. She shifted slightly to look up at the sky, at the first sign of the moon. Andraste remained silent after that, deep in thought. It was too far into her mind for him to penetrate, but it encompassed her thoughts.

 

[Demiurge]

Exodeus never before had simply stared up and saw the sky, the sun beaming down over him. Even as his eyes were open, his vision was that which pursued, watchful and cautious. But now, there, he simply saw, saw what was there, and forsook what wasn't. One of his arms lay in the grass as his fingered curled in and out, taking in what little sensations he could through his calloused skin, while his other arm lay around her, just over hear waist, near to her back. Even as she spoke, he never moved at all, as if he were stuck in that instance, as a moment of time.

"I know what it was I saw that day when I found you..."

His arm around her back tightened down slightly, pressing her against him.

"Even now, I continue to see it. There was no mistaking it - it, this... fate, that the Force has sewn into you. When I saw the vision, I saw a woman. And there is not a single doubt laying in my mind that that woman was you."

After that, his head rose a bit, as he stared down at her, his voice slightly more stern.

"Your thoughts are disturbed... what troubles you?"

 

[Sreeya]

"It was me but..."

Andraste sighed, attempting to put her words together carefully. She herself did not understand it. She got hints only by feelings and emotions, nothing coherent. She thought for a moment.

"It was me and it wasn't me..it was a part of me..Ugh!"

She grew frustrated at her inability to put it into words. She shifted once again, moving to sit up. Andraste looked down at him, confusion clearly etched across her features.

"The power. Think back to it. It's not mine. Did you not sense that? Think! You must have felt it!"

She knew she sounded insane. After a moment, she attempted to quell the questions, putting her hysteria aside. Andraste sighed and leaned closer to him. It felt strange, being so relaxed around him. It was even stranger to see him out of his armor, outside. Though for a moment it felt like they were the only two on the entire planet. She smiled slightly, moving closer to kiss him on the lips. It was an odd sensation, for them to linger like this afterwards. There was no aggression, no anger, but simply existing. Andraste finally pulled away from him, looking down at the flower in her hand.

"..Do you think perhaps our bond does not end with us?"

 

[Demiurge]

For many, clarity was something earned, something that one worked their entire lives to achieve. Often it took wisdom, accumulated knowledge. However, from his perspective, Exodeus was born with such power. Even as a young child, he knew what he was, what he could and must become. It's what made his strong - the strongest, in fact. He understood what others didn't, he saw what others couldn't. But now, for the first time, however minor, he did not.

As she spoke her words, trying to relate to him what was in her mind and heart, her speech bubbled forth like one losing their sanity. He knew she wasn't, he'd seen this from her before in the way that she spoke. But further than that, he did not know himself. He could sense what was there, the hurricane-like upheavals within her, as if her mind were lost, then would suddenly be within the eye of the storm. As Andraste moved forward to kiss him, Exodeus brought his hand up to the back of her head, and returned it, indulging himself in her just as she did with him, until finally she pulled away and spoke again.

"Strange words, coming from you."

His eyes then narrowed as he stared at her, not with anger or suspicion, but with yearning, the desire to know what he couldn't sense clearly from her.

"What do you mean by them? Do not think or dwell on what it is you'll say, only speak your mind as it comes to you."

 

[Sreeya]

Andraste did not look at him as he spoke, sighing.

"It's the thoughts in my head that are incoherent. They are not thoughts at all, but feelings..it's as if trying to convey a color to someone that has never seen before. It is difficult."

She tossed the flower aside, letting the subject rest for now. Andraste turned to face him again, surprised to find him so relaxed still. In the past when she had confused him, he had lashed out with anger. There were no traces of anger within him now, and it exuded even from his energy. Any underling Sith would have a difficult time realizing who this was, so casually resting on the grass. The thought caused her to grin at the absurdity of it. She did not move to dress yet, the evening breezes gentle against her skin. Andraste stared ahead at the pyramid they had emerged from. The coming dusk caused it to glow eerily, the golden apex shimmering through the darkness. It was such a small sliver of light, yet it pierced through the vast amount of darkness around it. She looked back down at Exodeus, who looked so strangely peaceful.

"Do you fear your humanity? Are you afraid..of this?"

She traced her finger along his hand as she spoke, curling her fingers into his hand and entwining their fingers. She was still not used to the sensation. For once, she knew he was treading a path he had never crossed. It was a place she knew, but he did not. Andraste looked back to the pyramid.

"You hide it well. A single rose within a swamp.."

 

[Demiurge]

Exodeus' eyes remained opened and stark, but there was something about them that had changed. As Andraste spoke to him, the exhilaration he felt diminished as the tempered hatred again crystallized his spirit. It was not rage directed, aimed like a weapon. Simply wrath bubbling forth to the surface, like a cancer laying dormant, only to reemerge. His anger had no source but his own will, it was simply there, simply existed, however controlled and however withheld.

"My humanity...?"

Exodeus then stood up. His eyes had returned to their glowing red, burning like embers.

"I was born a man. I cannot fear what I once was. Hate, for being enslaved to it... disgust, for not knowing to control it... and pride... pride, for rising above it. It is simply a part of me - one part of many. But even as it is, it is enslaved to my will, not mine to its."

Exodeus then promptly walked over to his armor and began to reapply each part, from his vambrace to his boots to his breastplate, until all that was left was his lightsaber on the ground, and helmet in his hand. His back was turned toward Andraste then, and even while she made her final remark to him. Without a single word, Exodeus recalled his lightsaber to his one hand, mounting it onto his waist, and then holding his helmet with both hands, fastened it over his head.

"Ready yourself. We leave, now."

 

[Sreeya]

Andraste had to grin at his words. She had struck a nerve, whether he cared to admit it or not. She watched him dress, putting all his armor back on. She herself made no move to get dressed or even get up. Andraste simply stared at the flower between her fingers, spinning it between them.

"Your will...is one wrought of humanity. It is more than a mere part of you. It pierces through everything. Its existence is small and fleeting, but resonates powerfully. The galaxy would be different if we understood this."

She finally rose to her feet, looking at him. Andraste did not walk closer, or make any indication of leaving. She knew he had gone back to his old self. The time they shared, the man he was just a moment ago had fled, and he was back to being Exodeus. Back to being the Dark Lord. Andraste sighed at the realization, finally casting the flower aside.

"I do not wish to leave. What do we return to? More chaos. Why not at least appreciate the beauty of what is around us before destroying it?"

She feared her own words. They were not the words of a Sith. She wondered when her mind had begun to wander down this treacherous path.

 

[Demiurge]

"My will is everything, and it is borne from more than the nature of sapience, the flesh and bone of a man. That is merely a single root of a tree, a single stone, in the foundation of a tower."

As Exodeus' eyes became engulfed in the omnipresence within his mask, his true persona reemerged. That of the Dark Lord of the Sith, the Emperor of the New Sith Imperium. Darth Exodeus. And with it, came his other attributes, his inner malice, his clarity, the remembrance of his purpose.

"No... we return to destiny."

His words were cryptic as always, speech with interpretation reliant on each one's own mind and reason.

"Here, we stand over the graves of the dead, a massacre hidden by time. Is even your beauty built on the back of devastation? Chaos and destruction - that is not my will. The galaxy, now, is indeed in chaos. This war is a necessary one, to bring this universe to order. And through it, there shall be marked a new beginning. That is what I shall return to. And you, beside me."

 

[Sreeya]

"The new beginning..wouldn't that be built upon the back of devastation?"

She blurted the question out before stopping herself. Andraste was slightly surprised he hadn't lashed out at her notions of beauty. It was something he had punished her for countless times when she was young. However, she could tell her personality had come to grow on him, and he simply brushed her strange character flaws aside. Andraste walked towards him, though she kept her eyes on the ground, surveying the flowers and the grass. It was true, the land was stunning considering its bloody past.

"What gives us the role...what gives us the destiny to govern the galaxy? Why do we decide to bring about its destruction? How do we know whether it needs it? Why is it our concern.."

She sighed. Andraste never understood why the Sith were so hellbent on destruction. She never understood her own desires for it. However, it was a desire she could not deny. Andraste bit her lip, deep in thought. She was silent for a long moment before finally gazing up at him, looking into his eyes.

"I...trained as a Jedi after I ran away from you those years ago. I learned from them, I lived with them..I grew with them. I spent my time there before returning...I saw the other side of this war."

She wondered how he would take the confession. She had never told him anything about her absence before. However, it was insight into why her thoughts were so deviated from the tunnel vision most Sith had.

 

[Demiurge]

"Of course it is!"

Exodeus suddenly turned around, and for the briefest of moments, let his rage emanate from his words. Just as surely as her words slipped from her mouth, his words did from his.

"Disaster is the natural part of evolution! Look to the history of the galaxy -- a government -- a civilization -- a spark of life... destruction carries forth illumination! It even breaths between the the Light and Darkness, which exist as a balance. Yet by their very nature war against each other just as surely as followers of their power do. The Dark Side even embraces it -- it's what forges us! Tempers us and makes us stronger!"

Exodeus paused for a brief moment, regaining his composure as he spoke again.

"Every new era... at the dawn of every beginning... ended the old from a war. The Ruusan Reformation, and the New Sith Wars. The Clone Wars and the New Imperial Order. The rise of the New Republic and the Galactic Civil War. The beginning of the Triumvirate, and the end of the Sith-Imperial War. The Great Jedi Purge gave birth to the stronger New Jedi Order, the Yuuzhan Vong War gave birth to the stronger Galactic Alliance. This is the way of things... this is the way of the galaxy."

Exodeus then remained silent a moment, letting the gravity of his words sink in.

"Destiny is not a privilege... not a gift, nor a right -- it is a responsibility. The Force guides all things - that is the one truth shared by our antitheses. Guides events, figures, even the lowliest of people to prominence to take the galaxy on it's necessary path. Fate is nourished by lives such as ours, and you and I are here to feed it."

Exodeus then turned around as Andraste continued to speak. This time, he said nothing in excess. The seconds turned to minutes, that seemed to turn to hours, until finally his electronic-mingled voice broke the silence.

"I have melded within the inner most parts of your spirit, seen images you've seen, heard what you've heard, felt what you've felt... did you not think I knew? That I couldn't sense those embers of Light within you? Faint as it is, it resonates within you at depths even I hadn't always been able to see... You've not seen the other side of the war... you've only seen the future. And that future, is our victory. The Jedi are a dying light that grows stronger when the wind ceases its howl. I will not make the mistake of those of the past, no contentment, no premature satisfaction. I will scour every star - every world - until even their name has been extinguished..."

After that, Exodeus began to walk off. His war... it wasn't only against the Jedi. No, it wasn't as simple a matter as that.

::All Light must die::

 

[Sreeya]

Andraste watched him turn to leave. She remained where she was.

"Then where does your love for me fit into your evolution?"

She knew those were words that would make him pause. They were like knives that would pierce through any armor, cut through any barrier and strike him at his core. She wouldn't be able to see his expression beneath the helmet, but she didn't need to. Andraste slowly walked towards him.

"Do you know what it is? It is a light. It is an insufferable, tiny light that persistently exists despite the chaos and hatred around it. You can try to thwart it. You can force your will on it. You can culminate all your hatred into it. But it withstands all of it. It may not encompass a vast portion of you, or even a fraction..but it is there, is it not? Does destiny tell you to love me? Does destiny tell you to allow me to exist as your vulnerability?"

She finally stepped into his path, looking into the faceless mask.

"So it is with the Jedi. You will not win by simply snuffing out the light. When there is cause to fight, there will be those that rise to the challenge. You cannot be blinded by your desires to dominate the galaxy. It will destroy you. You do not understand the Jedi. You only know the Sith. You do not understand the light. You only see it. That will be your undoing."

 

[Demiurge]

"I told you once before... didn't I?"

Exodeus slowly lifted his hands and pulled his helmet off, this time staring directly into Andraste's eyes.

"I believe in destiny. That all of this - everything that we do - is a part of that ultimate destiny. From the smallest of actions, to the greatest of achievements... to the ones we hate, we slay, to those we preserve, or protect... or even love."

After that, Exodeus reached out with his hand, and placed his two fingers, his index and middle, beneath Andraste's chin, curling them to support her head up so he could stare more directly into her eyes.

"You... are not my vulnerability, woman.... nothing is. If anything, you give me strength. For if anything should befall you..."

At that, Exodeus dropped his hand from her chin and placed it at the back of her head, and his other arm to her back, bringing her close to him as his lips came to her ear, and spoke almost in a whisper.

"...the entire galaxy would burn."

After that, Exodeus suddenly pulled his lips away from her ear, and pressed them against hers, passionately kissing her. His fingers ran through her hair at the back of her head, caressing her as he indulged himself once again in her.

 

[Sreeya]

Andraste was surprised at his reaction. She half expected him to lash out at her insolence, at her words of doubt. However, his every reaction thus far shocked her to no ends. Andraste almost stepped back as he lifted her chin up. She looked into his eyes, the fiery gaze that pierced right through her every time. His words were chilling as they were enticing. His admitting of her role in his life was surprising, something he had denied for years. As he kissed her, she returned it, tilting her head to deepen it.

She closed her eyes, bringing her hand up to cup the side of his face. Andraste remembered once, years ago, when she had kissed him as an act of mockery. It had been to spit into the face of everything he had taught her. It had been to throw humanity into his face as an insult. And now, today, he was the one drawing it from her. He was the one invoking it, drinking in the passion induced by it. She didn't deny him, tasting him once again. For a moment, her earlier thoughts melted away.

Andraste pulled away only when she felt a drop of moisture on her head. She looked up in confusion, only to have several more drops of water fall on her. It took her a second to realize it had begun to rain. For a moment, she closed her eyes, tilting her head back. She smiled up at the rain, letting it wash over her nude body. Andraste begun to laugh, grasping a hold of his wrists as she gazed up at the darkening sky. Thunder rumbled above them, the storm hitting fully.

"What happens if we abandon destiny? What happens if we let it go? What happens if we choose? If we choose.."

Andraste looked back at him, still smiling. She almost appeared crazed, her wet hair matted to her face.

"What if we stay like this forever.."

 

[Demiurge]

Even as surely as he continued to listen to her there, in the rain, when there was only the two of them, together where the rest of the galaxy didn't exist anymore, Exodeus could not help but muse at himself and Andraste. At every point, they were two sides of the same coin. He saw destiny where she saw free will. He saw fate where she choice. He was death where she saw life. And yet, the bond that formed between them was like nothing else he'd tasted before. Like two lives forever linked, forever connected down one path.

"Choice..."

Exodeus then leaned his forehead against hers lightly, before speaking again.

"Whatever comes our way... whatever battle, strife or conflict raging within us, we always have a choice. There are many roads leading off to wherever the Force guides it. It's the choices that make us who we are... it's the choices that carve those paths for us, and we can always choose to accept or deny our destiny."

After that, he then moved in for another kiss. The rain felt like a mist on his skin, soothing and cool.

"And if destiny calls us to stay... they so will it be."

And again, Exodeus pressed his lips against hers, letting his mind wrap and intertwine with hers just as surely as their connection to the Force did through each other. His hand at her back pressed against her bare skin as his arm brought her in closer. She was his own. She was his equal. She was his opposite. She was his match. And as sure as it was true, his mind focused only on her. Only on Andraste.