Ask Just a Little Bit

[Darth Tiamat]

Of course he would ignore her question and she eyed him with disdain. She knew the look that had earned her extra punishment before, but she did not care. The emotional whirlwind was now finding its cracks and she was finding it harder to contain it inside, the turmoil she had felt last night were more than lingering, they were unresolved and were going to find their exit in one way or another.

"That's...that's not what I asked." she stuttered over her words, trying her best not to just scream. She rested her palms on the table, her finger tips digging into the wood's surface as she tried to look for the inconvenient pain to bring her back into focus and to deal with it later. But seeing his face, his gaze, his silver eyes and still no answer as to if they were going back to Eriadu?

"That is not what I asked you!" she now yelled, "I don't understand how you cannot just answer a question. Is this some game because I don't know if I can keep on playing it." she slammed her hands down on the table in her tantrum, the Force crashed against her, the cup holding the caf beside her cracked. Her body tensed with her anger as her insecurities, doubts, and fear tore through inside her core. She knew she was drawing attention, she could feel visitors turning to look and others who decided to take their breakfast to go this morning. It didn't stop her, the idea of wanting to be invisible was irrelevant now, she wanted him to see everything, to feel everything.

"You just don't get it!" she continued to yell, now his caf cup cracked, "I don't get it, I don't understand this." she waved her hands, indicating she was not understanding him, "What's the catch? What's wrong with me?" By now Lyra was standing, arms thrown out as though she was welcoming for others to confirm her flaws, however, the sharp motion reminded her of her gashes and she gave pause.

"Am I undesirable? Soiled? Damaged?" she fell into her seat, her head bowed into her palms, "I just want to go back to Eriadu, Master. I don't want to be here any longer." her voice was a lot softer now, "Also, I forgot to collet the krayt venom." she suddenly remembered, but nothing at the moment was allowed to stay inside her mind, the gate was open and she wasn't ready to close it. He treated her so different from others, she didn't understand it; it was hard to believe it was entirely because of the apprentice-master bond, but there was something else that she couldn't find.

@Sreeya

 

[Emryc Thorne]

Emryc felt the rage coming on just seconds before it happened. He let the tirade wash over him as he often did when people had tantrums around him. The gaze was always unwavering, the steely eyes always calm and frosty. He sipped from his caf a few times throughout it, listening to each and every word. Patrons stopped what they were doing, several people turning to look and whisper.

He remained seated where he was, preparing to set the caf down when the cup cracked in his hand. Some of the hot liquid poured on his hand and there was the slightest twitch of his jaw from the burn. He quietly picked up a napkin and began to dab away at the liquid, still listening.

Her line of questioning was strange to him. He had praised her for her accomplishments the day prior and now she doubted her self worth? Emryc replayed his own actions inside his mind while she finally calmed down and mumbled about going back to Eriadu and then, for some reason, about krayt venom.

Emryc cleaned up his hand and silence hung for a minute. Others whispered, but most began to resume what they were doing, some glancing over. He looked at her again, calm as always.

“We will be returning to Eriadu,” He said flatly, eyeing the spilled coffee, “I’m...admittedly a bit puzzled at this question of your capabilities considering your triumphs yesterday,” Eyebrows furrowed slightly, confusion visible on his face in a very rare instance. His face relaxed after a moment, however, and he blinked before staring at her, “Are you upset because I did not sleep with you?” He asked bluntly, as was his specialty.

@GABA

 

[Darth Tiamat]

He was entirely calm and collected through her storm and she just felt entirely defeated by her own outrage. Eventually he spoke, and she felt some relief hearing they would return to Eriadu. Though his bewilderment to her behavior still did not sit well with the acolyte as she curled her fingers into her palms, digging her nails into her flesh, looking for some way to keep grounded. She wasn't sure if the defeat of the krayt dragon could compare to her ego and the crushing sensation she had when he abruptly left last night. His next question though would reveal the bantha that had been in the room the entire time.

Lyra looked up in surprise that he would just come out with it, but realizing who just asked that question, his bluntness was expected. She could talk around her answer, play his same game of side-stepping the full truth and lead to further unanswered questions, but she did not. Instead Lyra looked up at him and nodded, "Yes, I am." she said, "I am beyond just being upset." her voice hardened with anger.

"I feel like an imbecile, and then you saying that maybe I had too much to drink ..." Lyra scoffed and shook her head, avoiding looking at him directly, afraid she would lose her temper again, "Slapping me would have been less painful." Lyra glanced at his silver eyes, holding his gaze with her own; she opened her mouth to say something but stopped and looked away. There was silence that settled before she spoke again. She wasn't sure how to tell him she still enjoyed his touch and how he did not take advantage again and again much like those she did trust in her life growing up.

"My triumphs are just not mine you know, I could not have them if was not from your training." she pressed to shift the topic, picking up the two halves of her caf cup, "Can we leave soon?"

@Sreeya

 

[Emryc Thorne]

Emryc silently watched as she admitted to it, more of her emotions spilling forth. It was curious to him, though the impassive mask never budged. He was who he was, and very little could ever change it. He was a rock that constantly had waves crashing against it. The rock was overwhelmed, but in the end it remained standing as the water slowly receded away. However, even then the moisture clung for a while before drying entirely.

If she was done sidestepping around questions, so was he. She would learn the crucial lesson then that he only dodged questions he didn’t consider worth his time. He picked and chose what he addressed. If she opened the dialogue with directness, he would meet her head on. She would learn very quickly that a direct approach sometimes worked best.

“I desired it,” He said curtly, beginning with three simple words that would hopefully brush aside the self decrepitating mewling. Silence hung for a moment before he met her gaze with the cold, steely eyes. They had both been mere teenagers when they met, and he knew she hadn’t really developed any meaningful connections in her life. She was always in the shadows, always in the corner, always a wallflower.

Emryc couldn’t deny that he had grown to care for the girl, perhaps in ways that his gods would frown upon. He had winced a bit too much when the krayt had struck her, and he knew he had to hold himself back if she were in danger.

“I have trained you and worked with you for the greater part of over two years,” He spoke quietly, not shifting his gaze from hers, “During that entire time, I never bothered asking your name. When I spoke to you about training, you asked me how you can surpass me - a path that will likely involve your attempt on my life. A path that I have since set you on. In all that time, I have felt your hatred towards me almost as much as you've felt it towards yourself,” He slowly leaned into the table towards her, glancing at her with a piercing gaze, “Do you truly wish for me to be the first man to make love to you?”

Emryc let that linger for a moment before addressing her other question to make it clear he wasn’t brushing anything off, “We will leave after I shower and change.”

@GABA

 

[Darth Tiamat]

There was comfort in his directness. Her mind swarm with retorts, but she kept quiet eventually meeting his cold gaze as he reminded her of who they were and where her path would take her. Though she did not say anything, she was listening. The acolyte remembered that evening years ago, asking if she would surpass him and very early on she learned that path would perhaps some point, involve challenging his own life. He did well to ensure she would hate him and at the same time, it was true she grew to hate herself. Though there was plenty of self-loathing prior to meeting him, Lyra's struggle to see what she has accomplished, instead focused on the hate she had for her conflicting feelings.

Accepting her triumphs would mean she could not stay in the shadows.

Others would take notice and if she were to pass him, what did it mean for him to be below her?

The acolyte wished not the bother with such thoughts currently. After all, it was easier to hate.

Lyra felt herself leaning back as he leaned forward, questioning if she really desired desired for him. Her answer of course currently would have been a solid no. Though, Lyra was frustrated enough she could have sworn off any intimacy, it was not making things any better for her and it was as dangerous as she suspected. The girl turned her head away, breaking from his gaze, trying to focus on something else instead of him as he informed her they would leave after he cleaned up.

Even once he left, she sat in stillness, fighting with her own emotions and thoughts and the scowl she carried on her face, made curious onlookers quickly avert their gaze. She reached into her pack, grabbing her notebook, but couldn't find the motivation to distract herself with her work. Her thumb flipped through the pages, finding the pace of the pages soothing as she cleared her thoughts, readying herself for the ride back.

She was at least lucky enough she did not have to worry about him talking to her on their journey back.

@Sreeya

 

[Emryc Thorne]

He came down after a while, back with his nice cologne and gelled hair. She hadn’t said anything, and he hadn’t offered anything in turn. Emryc had let her know where they stood. No doors were closed, but it was her choice to step through or not. He had his bag slung over his shoulder again as he came downstairs jutting his chin to tell her it was time to leave.

Emryc walked for a bit before he thought of her outburst earlier. He hopped on the bike, waiting for her to get on. Instead of going towards the ship, he went a different direction. He didn’t say a word as he went, taking her towards where he had trained earlier. It was away from the locals and bustling crowds, a wide valley nestled between a canyon.

It was almost a half hour of driving before they finally arrived and Emryc pointed out an open space for her. He reached into his bag, pulling out parts that would make up a saber hilt. He handed them to her, “You will construct your saber now,” Emryc said curtly as he stepped back and sat down.

“Use your emotions to corrupt the crystal,” He explained. She was still reeling from raw anger and he fully planned on making her harness it. He was right back to being her teacher, sitting cross legged on a rock in front of her.

@GABA

 

[Darth Tiamat]

He returned and they left, though there was a moment of hesitation to get onto the speeder again, but she did not waste any more time than she needed and climbed onto the back. She held onto Emryc as he took off, but carefully not to lean into him as she felt the need to be as physically distant as she tried to emotionally cut herself from him. Unfortunately, he smelled wonderful while she instantly felt she smelled poorly of rage and spilled caf.

It became clear they were not going back to Eiradu yet and she felt herself becoming annoyed, kicking herself for falling for the half-truth. Instead though, they were going back into the desert and into the canyons where they were the day before. She was not about to slaughter another dragon for him, but they ended in a valley and Lyra was quickly feeling the heat of the twin suns beat down on them. No breeze, no creatures, just sand, sun and them.

Lyra had followed where he had pointed, her curiosity now piqued as she almost wondered if she finally deserved to be dropped off in the middle of the desert and left there. Emryc pulled out pieces that would create a hilt from his pack, instructing she would construct her saber and corrupt her crystal. Lyra opened her mouth to protest, but stopped and took the pieces, watching him get comfortable on a rock. They could have at least found a place without so much sun, she always burned so easily.

Lyra found a spot and sat down, laying out each of the individual parts neatly, arranging them in a semi-circle around her before removing her pearl and setting it before herself. She sat in silence, studying what she had laying before her to ensure nothing was missing; much like a jigsaw puzzle, she made sure each piece looked like it belonged with the other. Reaching into her pack again, she took out her tool kit and started to work.

With each turn of her screwdriver, it felt like the heat thumped with it; each wire aligned, she could feel the sweat drip down her face and evaporate before it touched the sand's surface. Eventually she ended up removing her tunic to just sit in her tank, but it would offer no relief. The acolyte inspected each part, there was perfection in her work, even when it came to the pins that held together the plates of her device, they had to be turned a specific direction, otherwise, she would remove them and screw them back in until they were all uniform. She was deep in focus on her work, never minding Emryc who observed from his throne.

The twin suns begun to move behind her, telling them the day was ending, but she continued, not interested in stopping. She believe work such as this was not possible to break from and come back to later, and therefore she continued under the moon's light.

It was only when the hilt was finished did she stand to feel its weight; it was currently useless, but she checked to ensure it would fight correctly in her palm as she moved. Only when satisfied, she sat down, laying the hilt in place of the pearl; she held up the sphere looking at the orange sheen in the moon's light, admiring its beauty, its flawless surface, and perfect symmetry. Though as gorgeous as it was on the outside, inside held something more powerful and for a moment Lyra felt herself compare to the pearl. Outside she was beautiful, there were those who wished to hold her as a simple object for her projected flawlessness, unaware of the imperfection and power that rested on the inside.

Lyra exhaled and closed her eyes to focus. The pearl left her palm and begun to hum its tune; the kyber crystal locked inside sung to the Force, calling for its owner and Lyra answered. She gasped, feeling the light and warmth that was nothing like the desert suns of Tatooine. It called for her and the acolyte opened her eyes.

She was no longer in the desert.

Instead she sat in the bottom of a dark, cold ocean, swimming among the kelp forests, watching the fish move between the large slim leaves and the colorful anemones swaying from the turbulent waves from up above. The only sound she heard were the movement of bubbles and whooshing of the body of water. She remembered this place from childhood and she knew she needed to go up for air. However, the closer she got to the surface, the further it seemed to be, it did not feel like she was moving regardless of how hard she kicked her legs. She looked back down in a panic, her lungs were stinging from the lack of air and she could no longer see the bottom of the ocean and no longer could she reach the surface.

Lyra inhaled and the inky waters filled her lungs and she was overcome with pain as she took in another deep breath, the dark water continued to fill her, she could feel it like ice through her veins as her heart pumped it throughout her body. Slowly she sunk and continued to sink, feeling her toes touch the sand until her entire body was laying on the bottom. The surface held the glint of the moon as she tried to reach for it, but the sands were rising until it engulfed her entire body. Sinking still, her world spinning until she felt herself rising, a light warmed her cheeks and she could smell the fresh air.

She opened her eyes to find herself standing calf-deep in the dark, still waters; she could hear the buzz and chirps of insects as she looked around, but no matter in which direction she stepped, there was no sight of the shore. She heard her mother's calling and her father quickly followed, echoing around her. "Hello?" she called out, but her voice fell flat and no response came. She felt entirely alone and wrapped her arms around herself. It reminded much how she used to call out in the morning and no one would be home, her parents worked many hours, their duty as Rangers came first, she was always second.

"Hey!" she yelled out again, and nothing. Lyra closed her eyes and then opened them seeing herself suddenly in the embrace of her ballet master. She felt cold fear wash through her body, her blue eyes widened as his hand slid down her front. She tried to scream and no voice came, she tried to push him away and he grew stronger. She was sinking into the waters with him and there were others, their faces protruding as they tried to break free. They were those who went after her on the ships she rode, their hands and claws covered in the black water as they covered her, grabbing at her hair, arms, legs and clothes while she struggled to free herself. Lyra gasped and mustered her strength to yell for help. She saw the glint of light in the pearl above her, a sliver of hope just within reach, but the darkness that covered her body, the pain that coursed through soul made her unworthy of its light.

Too scared...fearful...weak! Whore! Spoiled! Pest!

Too much hate...

The Light of the crystal echoed and Lyra felt her heart shatter. The rejection of something so great was overwhelming and Lyra screamed in rage. There was a shift in balance, her world swirled with the waters around her in a whirlpool as it sucked her down, not before she grabbed at the light though, holding it in the form of the pearl. The Force bellowed, its pain and anguish reverberated as she poured her suffering into the crystal.

She could feel it try to escape, but Lyra held on, the dark side seeped from the acolyte into the crystal. It attempted to free itself from her dark grasp, it warned her this was not the path and it would help her find the Light, to find balance. Promises Lyra had heard before; the promises of help and love, giving her hope and it all ended the same with everyone tearing it away from her. No longer would se believe such things; there was only herself and she would be a fool to believe it to be anything different.

The acolyte felt herself suspended, her hair floated around her face as she grasp the pearl closely to her chest, together they would bleed. The hands that groped at her seemed to dissipate in the waters along with the faces and the bodies, the voices, the yells. She couldn't tell if the water was falling or she was rising as she neared the surface, but the bleeding continued; her self felt weaker as her own blood spilled, but the crystal held its new power. Looking up, she saw her dark reflection until their foreheads touched and the girl closed her eyes as she rose above the surface.

Snap-hiss

The blade screamed and the crimson saber glowed against the acolyte's skin. She stood silently, feeling the chill of her own darkness seep into the hot Tatooine sands around her.

@Sreeya