Ask [Life Day] Concerto Solaris

[Willa Kanz]

-Theme-​

This event was meant to be the biggest underground concert the galaxy had ever seen. Musicians, artists, dreamers had come together for this event. Switter announcements had been posted, the bars were opened. A full warehouse had been rented out, and it spilled into the streets. A runway for aspiring fashionistas had been hastily set up for those whose arts were textile, and a full-suite DJ booth and stage were given for songwriters and other underground artists to show off their skills. Overseeing it all, hidden in the catwalks, a lone figure perched.

She gripped the crystal from Max's lightsaber, which she held still tied around her neck. Sometimes, she could almost swear she could feel the weight of his grief at how she had fallen, but it didn't matter.

The dead weren't here to haunt her tonight.

A figure stood on the platform with G. Wiz's mask on; her double would provide music all night, leaving her free to mingle unafraid. Her heart thundered beneath her outfit, and not for the first time, she had to wonder if her Master was looking for her. She hoped he wasn't. She hoped he wouldn't come close. She had someone new to train her, so she hoped; the answers for Crix's disappearance and death were almost in her grasp. And no one would stand in her way to get them, not even her old Master.

Dressed in a gold dress that hugged her curves, a slit ran from ankle to the upper of her thigh and covering arms to her wrists. A gold mask covered all but her eyes, wrapping to the back of her head. Hair was tightly braided, and capped in gold, nails touched in gold as well. Who would make their debut here, and who would want to buck tradition to dance, anonymous and free, in this nightlife? The music began to pulse in her blood, and she began to sway to the beat, arms raised and eyes shuttered closed in her quiet corner alone.

 

[Haldir Eressëa]

Good Night, Moon couldn't believe his luck that he would be debuting in the biggest underground concert the galaxy had ever seen. He started out as an independent musician, putting up his songs on social media platforms handled by his closest friend who doubled as his manager. The singer-songwriter would have kept his music to himself if it wasn't for Meriwell's intervention, the meddling bastard having uploaded his recording on Switter. Of course he had been a little mad, but when he saw that the positive feedbacks drowned out the negative ones his confidence skyrocketed and he'd agreed to share his music to the galaxy under one condition.

"Smile!"

Good Night, Moon let out an amused chuckle at the female Twi'lek's exclamation, one hand rising to mimic the young woman and her friends' hand gesture as the camera's flash bounced off of the surface of his helmet. Though the attire Meriwell had chosen from him were mostly drab black techwear sans his shoes, his demeanor belied the funereal color theme as he freely mingled with the crowd, childish energy touched by endearing shyness bleeding in the way he moved. He waved goodbye at the giggling gaggle of girls as they thanked him for the photo.

"I bet he's cute behind that helmet!"

"He's so tall~!"

"Cute? Sis, I bet he's a full-course meal! His voice is so sexy--"

The girls' voices were soon drowned out by the background music and the crowd's cheers. Good Night, Moon absentmindedly covered his already concealed face with embarrassment at having been called cute and sexy, nudging Meriwell with his shoulder in mock anger when the latter laughed at him. It didn't help that he was already feeling nervous given that he would be the next artist performing on stage. His friend led him to the backstage, helping him check his music file and making sure that everything he needed were available. The new musician couldn't help but glance at the dj booth, pale blue eyes behind the cover of his helmet staring intently at the masked visage of G. Wiz.

He had been observing her the moment she stepped in the dj booth with narrowed eyes, analyzing her every move. If it weren't for his helmet someone would've already been creeped out with how much he was staring. Only Meriwell was aware, and even then the blond did nothing to stop the musician. They both knew the real reason why they were here in the first place, and how Good Night, Moon wouldn't become an actual musician if it didn't ultimately serve its purpose. It was not to become famous in the music industry nor make a name for himself, let alone share his music to the galaxy and gain fans.

"Good Night, Moon?" the pair heard one of the staff call the singer-songwriter. "You're up, the band's ready!"

Meriwell shot him a smirk that felt out of place amid yellow braided hair, an attire that screamed gangster, and youthful appearance. It suited dark long hair and traditional outfit of their clan more. The blond mouthed one word at him, earning the former a grateful smile hidden by the helmet that wasn't out of place in a gathering such as this. There were artists in attendance who chose to keep their real identities secret, and while it fit Good Night, Moon's condition about concealing his face it did more than that.

It helped Haldir Eressëa blend in so easily, and creating a new persona was child's play to someone who was raised to a clan of spies.

He shot the disguised Chie a look, the Erennor pair bumping fists before Haldir strode towards the stage. For a moment he felt overwhelmed as the crowd cheered and screamed, the Knight incognito standing frozen in front of the microphone as the weight of the why's and how's of his presence here floated to the forefront of his mind. How he concealed his presence in the Force to avoid detection, even more so alerting the person who was the sole reason why Good Night, Moon came to existence in the first place.

Gaze fixed on the crowd and deliberately ignoring the figure of G. Wiz, Good Night, Moon lifted a hand to snap his fingers, signalling the band to begin. With that same hand he pressed a button on the left side of his helmet, glass and metal shifting to partially reveal his mouth and chin.

MUSIC

"How do I talk to you, talking is so unnecessary.
How do I write to you, none of my tones they will carry."​

Body swaying to the beat and hands flying to create gestures both meaningful and not, Good Night, Moon found himself lost in his music, drowning out everything else as he sang his heart out. His night was just beginning, and he would be singing more of his creations until he hit the one he meant the most - and until it reached the one it was meant for.

@Killa Ree

 

[Willa Kanz]

She was lost to the music.

Like a nimbus, a nebula floating alone in the starry depths of space, she floated alone on the catwalks poised above the crowd, gold silk rippling around her legs as she began to shift her hips, arms flung up to the air. The music changed, and burnt umber eyes glanced down. Sighted and blind eyes drinking in the newcomer.

Something of his build, his mouth, brought a prickle of something. Like a cool brush along her spine, a ghost of an awareness. Like gravity, pulling her in, dragging her forward almost without thinking. Pressing the comm wired into her helmet, she asked about the new song artists. Good Night, Moon.

Somehow, some way, she couldn't pinpoint it, but...

Could it be him?

She leaned against the railing, staring down at the figure on the stage. Her heart curiously lurched with the words, and the graceful movements. Somehow, some way, she would have to verify. Reaching her hands out, something curious would begin to reach out to Haldir. A tremulous Song, one of longing, of fear, an exultation and an echo of grief. A clash of desire and desperation. An unspoken communion, like the dance of stars. Just as swiftly as she reached out towards the masked figure, the communion was cut off, and she suddenly whirled away.

Must get away. Must disappear.

She began to sprint towards one exit, a dancer's suspended circle left abandoned for a future act. She leapt for it, gripping the silk to descend. Voices exclaimed, pointed and gasped in amazement as she descended, mistaking it for part of his music. His music.

A sick feeling began to throb in her chest, and she was so close to ground. The warm rush of tears slid behind the mask, burning in her throat as she finally made it to ground, and then began to try to melt into the crowd, to escape him if she could. She'd hoped to avoid him, at least until she was strong enough to face him.

The double for G. Wiz was still at the booth, swaying on their feet to the music and seeming to be completely unaffected by the newcomer's song.

@Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Hera "The Joyful" Albion]

Leaving the order wasn't simply turning off and walking away. When people disappeared, their friends and peers tended to notice. Under normal circumstances, a padawan's master would pursue their lost student. Additionally, the master would be questioned as to why his padawan was driven away from the order. However, Hera found herself in the midst of a puzzle that begged to be solved. Concealing her presence in the Force ever seen arriving on this world, Hera began her work.

The master of Willa Kanz was not an easily found Jedi, apparently, even their facial appearance wasn't a well-known factor. That immediately raised a red flag for the Justicar. Then, Willa Kanz was known to have taken the death of Crix Aran fairly hard. Crix was a padawan that Hera had briefly trained, then, during Hera's temporary absence from the order, Crix passed away. His death was a stain on her conscience, and now it seemed to attract other Padawans to seek the wrong way out.

It wasn't difficult, knowing of the information the order had on Willa Kanz, to see that the Padawan was an avid fan of music. The biggest underground concert the galaxy had ever seen was an obvious first target for Hera to search. Her search might have also, fortunately, turned out to be short. She could sense an attuned Kyber crystal like a beacon of light in the Force, an unconcealed item through the Force. Even if the owner was not Willa Kanz, Hera's duty was to investigate this nonetheless.

Then, from below, she sensed the crystal moving. It, and the being who wore it, leaped from an upper balcony and onto a dancer's hoop, utilizing it to descend into the crowd. People gasped, pointed even, and made Hera's job even easier. The Jedi Knight followed closely behind the woman as she reached the ground and began moving towards what Hera believed to be an exit. The redheaded Jedi, still clad in armor concealed by a dark cloak, gripped her lightsaber hilt as she moved.

Hera made sure to never take her eyes off the woman as she followed closely through the crowd.

@Killa Ree

 

[Haldir Eressëa]

Lost as he had been in his music, Haldir could still easily pull himself out of his self-made trance with a simple reminder of why he was here on this stage, on this event. He moved in time with his lyrics, at one point turning to face G.Wiz, the woman behind the helmet, to see if she had somehow recognized him. With their time spent as Master and Padawan he was bound to recognize and memorize how she moved, even more so how she sounded in the Force. The figure behind the dj booth swayed to the beat like his Padawan did, but there was a vital trait they could never hope to replicate.

He had been studying this person the moment he laid eyes on them. There was enjoyment held in their form, in their movements, as they provided the music and as they listened to his own in return. There was no hint of a supernova to be found in the Force, no Star singing... if this was the real Willa then she hid it well, but the moment their concealed gazes met he could feel no recognition coming from the dj.

The Knight's eyes narrowed. If Willa was actively avoiding him, then she was doing a pretty good job. Had his own ways rubbed off on her? If so, then he was more proud than frustrated. It was another proof that she didn't need him as her mentor any longer, that she had become a capable Knight and that someone only needed to bestow upon her the title she deserved. Pride would have filled his entire being at the realization, but sadness overpowered it still. She left, and he wouldn't be here, wouldn't be a person he had crafted out of dire necessity, if it weren't for her.

So he tore his gaze off of the impostor and continued to sing, pale blue eyes scanning the crowd. He knew the risks of reaching out through the Force. If she felt that he was here, he was sure that she would run away. Hadn't she told him in her parting message not to look for her? But here he came looking. If Willa - by some miracle or her own perceptiveness - recognized him she would run and hide, and he would be back to square one.

He couldn't afford to go back to the start. If she ran he would just have to chase-

The Arkanian Offshoot heard her before he felt her, that familiar singing Star he had come to know so well. He heard her longing, her fear, her grief. A sorrowful tune in the Force, offset by the crescendo of desire and distraught whispers of desperation. In a heartbeat Haldir identified who was reaching out to him, knew how the Force shifted in her will to reveal the person behind the name Good Night, Moon. The bond forged between Master and Padawan was not so easily broken, even more so when one felt that the bond was more than that.

The communion was cut off as soon as it came, but it was more than enough for Haldir to pinpoint where it came from. He followed the trajectory of that broken thread, and it helped that Willa's attempt to leave wasn't so subtle. Pale blue eyes locked on a figure clad in gold, gaze following her descent from the catwalk. The crowd's reactions didn't help conceal her from his sight. She had recognized Good Night, Moon for who he really was, and with his cover blown Haldir didn't bother concealing his presence to her through their bond.

"Nothing gets broken, nothing gets stolen!"​

He didn't mean for his voice to rise with the final note, but as Willa slipped further away as she weaved through the crowd Haldir couldn't help the panic that bled past his lips. The Knight let go of the mic stand without waiting for the band's ending notes, tearing himself off of the stage in a hurry. All sense of subtlety shattered as he hurried through the crowd, ignoring the hands that patted him and the words of admiration thrown his way. Haldir reached out to Willa, hints of distress lacing his voice when he sent out broken words to her in desperate pleas. He had searched high and low for her, nearly neglecting to take care of himself in the process because every moment spent tracking her down was more important than the hours he spent sleeping-

Please.

Stay.

Talk. I'll listen.

I'm here.

Please.

Willa...!

He moved forward, gaze trained on that shimmering gold, unaware of another following after her.

@Killa Ree @Black Noise

 

[Willa Kanz]

She should have known better.

She should have just let her double run the night, and found a quiet place to settle. But almost before her feet touched ground, she knew she was being followed. Sith, other Jedi, it didn't matter. All that mattered was she had to vanish again. She wanted space, to grieve, to deal with herself, to be alone, and they wouldn't let her. And yet...

Frustration pulsed in her veins as she began to duck through the crowd, seeking her door.

What, did you expect he'd listen? a quiet voice asked in the back of her mind. Or that he'd hunt alone?

Of course not. She'd seen enough of the Erennor clan to know this would never be simple. Though a part of her ached to see him again, to talk to him and to understand why she felt so broken--

A part of her didn't want an audience for this.

Gritting her teeth, she ducked beneath and around a tall, broad Devaronian, clearly drunk, who would sway into the path of Hera and obstruct her vision, if only for a few moments. Long enough that she would see the moving woman seem to duck past open curtains, to move for the backstage. She had to focus, to gain some space to break away. But she would simply wind up closer to Haldir, who moved so much faster than she would have anticipated.

Haldir's words didn't fall on deaf ears, rather, it was this that directed her focus. He wanted to listen? He wanted to hear her?

Fine, he could listen. And then maybe, maybe, she could finally be free.

She stopped abruptly, turning to face him. And yet, Haldir would be able to sense it from her. The sudden onslaught of disappointment, edged with anger at being pursued. She left the Order, why couldn't he expect that? Did he expect her to put on a brave face, put aside her emotions and just let it go?

"Why couldn't you just give me space enough to grieve?" she muttered, but even Hera would hear it. The former Padawan didn't bother concealing her voice, but instead turned to look at him directly. She was tired of hiding, tired of running, when she knew that they wouldn't ever stop. Even music, her haven, wasn't safe anymore. Clutching the crystal, she began backing up, her focus then on Haldir squarely. He could see the tears glinting in dark eyes, but she shook her head.

"Why couldn't you just let me go?"

@Forsythe Crowholde @Black Noise

 

[Hera "The Joyful" Albion]

The movement of the drunken Devaronian did little to stop, or even slow down, the pursuing Jedi Knight. A single sloshed body in the sea of sentients was easily pushed aside, and Hera's eye contact was immediately reacquired. Her keen eyes watched the tail end of the woman as she disappeared backstage. Hera followed seconds after. Close enough that Hera still heard the Padawan speak. Was she talking to Hera?

The Knight entered the room as Willa Kanz began backing up, coming closer to Hera once more. The Knight stepped forward, making sure to keep Willa within a few feet as she spoke once more- to another being? One of the headlining acts was backstage and clearly the target of Willa's question. Hera stood in the room with the pair, quiet and watching them both. How did they know each other? What was this about letting her go? Was this musician a friend of Willa's? Something more?

Regardless, Hera approached the situation with a bit of empathy at first, "Willa, please, let's talk about this. You matter to us."

@Killa Ree @Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Haldir Eressëa]

As expected, things spiralled out of his control. One of the possible outcomes he'd anticipated, and yet no mattef how intricate nor straightforward his planned responses were, the moment one result exploded right in front of his face any and all preparation Haldir had crafted were immediately blown to smithereens. He knew he was better than this, he had survived living and breathing under the guise of his twin brother while working as a Sector Ranger, fought Darksiders and evil beings almost without batting an eye and managing to adapt smoothly to any challenge, and yet...

And yet...

Some woman, his father had called his Padawan. But she wasn't just some woman. She was Willa Kanz. Someone Haldir found easy to trust and confide in regarding his family's secrets, the real him. He had opened up to Elidan, surely, but Willa–

The Knight continued his chase, not once batting away the anger, the disappointment, but instead accepting them and taking them all in. The walls he built around himself all torn down as he embraced the emotions she sent his way. He was her Master, it was his responsibility, his sworn duty, to look after her as his Padawan. But more than that he was her friend, someone she could trust – but even then that trust was now compromised because he chose to ignore her request to be left alone. Selfishness, the first of two times Haldir would commit such a thing in this game of cat and mouse. There were few, precious things he desired, and finding her, hearing her voice and listening to her heart counted among those things.

He followed her, ignoring his surroundings in favor of focusing on her and her alone. He knew not to let his guard down, and yet he was once again doing one of the many things his clan prided themselves on. Haldir stopped when she did, dimly aware that they were granted the privacy of the backstage. Chie was nowhere to be found, and knowing his cousin the dark-haired Erennor must have been made aware of the chase between the two Jedi on one way or another and deemed it wise to leave so as to give Master and Padawan the privacy they deserved.

Her words, her emotions, struck him more than he had anticipated.

"Why couldn't you just let me go?"

The tears in those dark eyes only added salt to the injury.

But Haldir had hurt her more, so he swallowed his pain and opened his mouth to speak. No sooner than his lips parted another voice broke the silence in response to Willa's words. Through their connection the grieving Padawan would sense Haldir's genuine surprise at the sudden appearance of one Hera Albion. He knew that face from the Order's roster. Still, the Justicar's appearance was a factor Haldir had never thought to anticipate. The masked Knight stood frozen gaze flitting between his heartbroken Padawan friend and the Justicar.

Damn.

The only help he had asked for were Councilor Vanloa's when he reported Willa's disappearance, and his brother Hasebe and cousin Chie. With Hera's appearance, Willa was bound to assume that Haldir had enlisted her aid in his search. But he didn't, no, he didn't–

The Justicar's approach to the situation was steeped in empathy. Haldir had so many things to say to Willa – maybe actually a few that really mattered – but to have a third party hear what he had to say, to witness what he had to show?

Pale blue eyes settled on Willa. No, he couldn't let this sudden turn of events derail him. His desire to see her again far outweighed his self-doubts and apprehension. He might never see Willa again after this (he hoped and prayed this wasn't the case), so the Knight dropped everything he had been taught by his clan, along with his fears and pride, and chose to be truly selfish for the second time in his whole life.

One gloved hand rose to his head, fingers curling along the rim of his helmet. His thumb brushed along the button that released the lock in place, and succeeded by the hiss of metal was the helmet smoothly sliding off of his head and falling to the floor with a loud thud.

Snow white hair fell to his eyes, pale blues she first saw on Dxun. He refused to keep his gaze downcast, and met her tearful gaze.

"You matter to me."

The response might not be something she wished to hear, but it was something Haldir wanted to tell her every single time he set out to look for her. And the most important part?

He meant it with every fiber of his being. The concept of words coming straight from the heart was new to him, and right now he knew that he truly meant it in that regard. Haldir refused to be frozen where he stood any longer and took a step forward, booted feet bringing him closer to Willa so he could – if she wouldn't shy away, if she would let him – wrap his arms around her.

@Killa Ree @Black Noise

 

[Willa Kanz]

Two of them.

Two of them followed her here. She gritted her jaw, and felt her fists ball hard, hard enough for it to hurt. She had been trying her damnest to outrun them, to finally be free, and he called the goddamned cavalry. Haldir would feel the hurt, compounded by frustration, and a restrained sense of anxiety. Hera's words only added to it.

Giving a bitter laugh, her gaze snapped to the redheaded Knight first. "Give me a break. You care?" She took another step back, then a second, gripping the crystal so tightly it felt like it would cut into her palm. "When? Did you care when a Knight went missing?" She tensed her shoulders, glaring openly now behind her mask. "Did you care when they burned your friends, when they took younglings and left nothing for us to mourn?" Her heels clacked as she took a step further onto a rise, tense and shaking. "How are you not bent double with grief every time you lost someone you 'cared for'? Because it's not the Jedi way? Well then, I'm a shit Jedi," she snarled, and yet even with those words, there was no anger, only sorrow. "Because I refuse to burn or bury another person I love."

Still, when Haldir approached, she froze again, as though preparing to flee. But her exits were quickly narrowing; she'd have to move fast if she even had a prayer to escape--

The hiss of Haldir's helmet gave her pause.

You matter to me.

Not to the Order, not to the bond between Master and Padawan. To him. She ached to run, legs tensed, and yet she couldn't. When the helmet thudded to the ground, her heart ached. He looked tired. Had she done that to him? Did it really matter that they lost one measly, lousy Padawan? One who left, just so she could properly bury her best friend. If she went down, she wouldn't take anyone else down with her, didn't they realize that?

Still, her throat thickened, and she shook her head slightly. If he touched her, she would truly come undone. All that restrained rage and fury, at herself for not finding Crix until it was too late, for being complacent when Maxims passed, at the Sith Empire for daring to take both of the few people that she would have traded her life for in a heartbeat. All the rage that fueled herself for revenge that was long in coming, that would sustain her to her own death.

When he reached her, he would feel her shaking, sense her struggle to flee frozen with the shock of seeing his face again. Her revenge was so close, her goal near enough to feel it, but he stood in her way. How dare he unveil himself in this way. When his arms circled around her, she would remain stiff, quaking with the desire to lash out clashing with the desire to surrender.

After a few moments... she crumbled.

Mask buried into his shirt, her fingers gripped into his jacket. Hard enough to bruise, to hurt, as her knees gave out. The floor creaked and groaned beneath them, masked mostly by the music still brightly playing in the background by the next act, ropes and wires quaking as the floor juddered, then went quiet.

"Why? Why do you care?"

@Forsythe Crowholde @Black Noise

 

[Hera "The Joyful" Albion]

Hera stood frozen as she watched the two of them, listened to the two of them, sensed the two of them. A non-force sensitive could have felt the tension of the two's relationship in the air of the room. However, the Justicar had an insight that any regular sentient would simply not have access to, Hera had the Force. She could sense the energy and emotion welling up in the musician to her side, and it finally clicked for Hera.

This man was Haldir Eressëa. He was Willa's master. He knew everything. A sickening feeling began to pull at Hera's mind as Willa laughed bitterly, snapping at the older woman with her anger and sorrow. For a moment though, as Willa spoke, Hera didn't look at her. She looked to Haldir, and her gaze was not one of approval, but horror.

"How are you not bent double with grief every time you lost someone you 'cared for'? Because it's not the Jedi way?"

Willa's words stung Hera, cutting to her center and retching a hot white core of anger from the red-headed Jedi. But Hera did not act on it, instead, allowing the emotion to pass over with a long, gentle breath. She stayed quiet for now, letting Willa get out the sadness in her heart. Hera could take on the swelling emotions of the Padawan's pain, that was her duty as Willa's senior, as a knight.

Then, when Willa finished speaking, Haldir took off his helmet. White hair, mimicking Hera's natural color, spilled about his face as he uttered those fateful words, "You matter to me." And at that, the Justicar's stomach turned. The older male knight stepped forward to embrace Willa, and she reciprocated. Willa fell apart into Haldir's arms, asking again why they cared. 'No, not why we care,' Hera thought, 'why he cares.'

At that, Hera had enough. Stepping within 5 feet of the pair, Hera finally let her voice speak the thoughts that boiled in her mind. "Are you kidding me? How long has this been going on? How long have you been planting these seeds in her mind, Knight Eressëa? How long have you groomed her for this moment?! You're supposed to be her master, her guide on the path of the light, her teacher, and her defender. You're supposed to help her become a full Jedi! Not turn her into your girlfriend! You have been in a position of power over her for so long- you still are! This is blatant manipulation whether you see it that way or not!"

Then, without hesitation, her righteous indignation turned to Willa, "Padawan Kanz of course I care! I pursued you the moment I heard you left the order, I wanted to make sure you were ok!" Hera was shaking now, her own emotion welling up, but not blinding her, "I feel that deep grief, just as you. It cuts to me to my core every time a friend is lost, every time a young life's chance to grow is cut short unfairly. And I cared for Crix as well! I requested his body be returned to the temple, it's already on its way back now so that we could have a proper ceremony!"

'Breathe, Hera, breathe,' she thought to herself. Calming down, she finished speaking to Willa, "You may leave the Order if that is your solemn wish. But do not say that it is because we do not care- we have always cared."

@Killa Ree @Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Haldir Eressëa]

He never expected for her anger, her grief, to carve deeper more than he anticipated and yet Haldir found it easy to accept them, to let them wound him without the need to retaliate. He had failed her when he hesitated to talk to her, to give her counsel after Crix's death. He had failed to comply to her request, putting his desire to track her down and listen to what she had to say face to face than respecting what she wanted. He had failed her, invading her space, desecrating the safety she found in music. Haldir Eressëa had failed Willa Kanz as her mentor, her Master. But above all Haldir failed Willa as her friend.

Her anger, redirected to Hera, hurt him as well. He remembered Padawan Arctus Friers' grief in the aftermath of the failed Yavin invasion years ago, more so the Corellian's heartbreak at losing the Younglings he swore to protect. That had left a mark in Haldir's conscience, then. The death of Thelian Lsai was another mark, the Padawan's life spent in defending a planet from the Sith. Elidan's hatred for the Empire was yet another burden the Knight carried. So many Jedi losing their lives in their war with the Sith, so many innocent lives trampled by the galaxy's cruelty. He understood Willa's anger and grief because he felt the same, so he let her lash out, let her say what she needed to say. He shot Hera a sad look before his arms circled around the heartbroken Willa Kanz.

The Padawan shook in his hold, and Haldir simply held her close, keeping her upright and supporting her when her knees gave out. He didn't flinch from her iron grip, nor did he relinquish his hold as her emotions influenced the outside world. He was her Master, but more importantly he was her friend. It didn't have to be his duty to come chasing after her even if she didn't want to be found. His former Master had opened Haldir's eyes to what friendship meant and right now the Arkanian Offshoot hoped to be the friend Willa needed in her time of grief. That was why he didn't come here as a Knight, let alone a Jedi.

"I'm sorry," he told her, sincere yet sad. "I'm sorry for disregarding your message, more so your feelings. I know it's foolish of me to track you down, to corner you like this. But–"

Crix wasn't just a friend to her, was he? The half-Zabrak was someone she held dear, someone precious to her. Her best friend, and maybe even more?

At this point, Haldir came to a complete understanding of the full extent of Willa's heartbreak.

A melancholy smile crossed the Knight's face when she asked why he cared. Well, that was both easy and difficult to respond with. But Hera had spoke first before he could answer, her words and accusations causing a spike of an unknown emotion to swell in Haldir's chest. His head snapped up, gaze locking on the red-haired Knight, eyes wide with a mixture of shock and disbelief.

"What did you say to me?"

The question was, at first, poweref solely by utter confusion. Maybe he misheard her? But then she went on about grooming Willa to be his... girlfriend? That he had been manipulating his Padawan, his friend, of all people. Perplexity morphed into anger. He wanted to ask where all these accusations were coming from, but he kept his mouth shut, watching the other Knight almost with sick fascination as she spoke one accusation after another.

He didn't understand where it was all coming from, if he was being honest. Manipulating Willa, let alone groom her, never crossed his mind. The accusation was so brand new to him in the context Hera was implying, and yet it brought out feelings of resentment for his own family he had been keeping under lock and key. Haldir was manipulated and forced into joining the Jedi. He had been groomed at a young age to serve his family and their own interests. He had been on the receiving end of those things his fellow Knight were accusing him of despite the obvious differing context, and despite Hera's lack of knowledge about Haldir's past it didn't fail to prompt feelings of utter disgust from the Arkanian Offshoot.

Still, Haldir tried to be logical. He tried so, so hard. Maybe it was something he said, something he showed, that made her think that. Maybe his desperation to find Willa came across as odd, confusing. Hera didn't know, so Haldir tried to be logical about her accusations, he really did try–

Calm down, Haldir. Calm down–

The disgust, the anger, pushed logic aside.

He stared at Hera as she rounded on Willa, glacial anger burning in his pale blue eyes. Even then he tried to tamp down on the anger and disgust glinting in them, if only to spare the Arkadian and her sincere desire to help Willa. But he couldn't, though, her accusations searing through him. Frost bloomed on every reflective surface as he redirected his emotions away from the two women, his anger through the Force more evident than Willa's. For a moment he debated about loosening his grip on his friend, but fear kept him from doing so. She would slip away the moment he let her go, and he would be back to tracking her down again, this time with no hope of ever finding her again—

This is blatant manipulation whether you see it that way or not!

Though the jabs were meant for him, he couldn't help but feel angrier as he placed a comforting pat on Willa's shoulder. He was sure it wasn't Hera's intent, but in a way she had indirectly insulted Willa. Did the Arkadian think that Willa Kanz was too gullible, too weak, to be groomed, let alone manipulated? The Padawan was smart, sometimes too smart for her own good, and she even managed to recognize Haldir's attempt at subtlety, not hesitating to use the Force to verify her suspicion. Even in her moments of weakness she remained strong, smart, wise... Dxun could attest to that. Master Tionson's teachings could attest to that. And Haldir–

His voice came out quiet when he next spoke. A memory he never wanted to share with another soul, no matter how close he held them. Anger and disgust turned inwards so the two women wouldn't sense them any longer.

"Why would I subject someone to those things when they have been done to me since childhood?" he asked, knowing full well that Hera wouldn't understand. Maybe she never would. She had come to a conclusion that Haldir had been manipulating Willa, so why would understanding cross her mind right now? Haldir's profile in the Order were kept underwhelmingly brief for a reason, and for a reason he kept it that way. He was so desperate to find his friend that it didn't even cross his mind that another Jedi might be looking for her. And then that same Jedi questioned Haldir's integrity.

His hatred for his own parents, for their clan's stupid tradition that he couldn't even shed, grew tenfold.

His father told him that emotions and attachments, friendships and bonds, were liabilities and would only make him weak. Those things he ignored blatantly, and when he had followed his feelings and chased down a heartbroken friend, his desire to help and support her were seen in the most hideous ways possible.

He wanted to answer Willa's question, to tell her why he cared. But Hera would only probably see it as some kind of manipulative tactic. Haldir could only hold his Padawan, his friend, close, but even the warmth of his embrace was slowly being sapped away by the Arkadian's words.

Spoiler: A certain eavesdropping former Ranger

Chie, who had been leaning against the wall a few feet from the backstage door, could barely hear anything behind closed doors amid the beat of the music and the crowd's cheers. He had been watching from his perch when Haldir began his performance on stage, and the moment the chase for Willa began the former Sector Ranger had removed himself from the backstage. Call it instinct or something, but he had anticipated for the chase to end someplace private and the backstage was the closest thing his cousin and his Padawan could be free to talk. He had been mentally cheering for Haldir, but when he heard the raised voices and the accusations from a feminine voice he didn't recognize Chie's expression darkened, one hand itching for the concealed blade tucked in one of his boots.

Haldir, grooming Willa and manipulating her? If the accusations were thrown at Chie he would have laughed at them, maybe even agreed to the insulting words for the shits and giggles. Chie was a slimy, disgusting, manipulative bastard if it served him or his purpose. He had known Haldir since childhood, and hearing this no-name stranger hurl insulting accusations at the Knight made his vision turn red.

Immediately the former Ranger removed himself from the premises, leaving Haldir to deal with his own shit. Any second he spent there any longer would undoubtedly end with blood smeared against the walls – preferably from whoever it was who insulted his cousin who only ever looked out for his friends with kindness and sincerity their clan never taught them.

@Killa Ree @Black Noise

 

[Willa Kanz]

Being held by Haldir should have felt like home, but it wasn't.

It was bittersweet, that the thing she thought would be something to bring her comfort instead felt like a cage. Still, hearing Hera's words did not bring comfort, but...

Neither did Haldir's.

Finding her feet beneath her again, she pushed him away. With considerable effort, she drew herself tall. She would let them argue it out. It's funny, a month ago those words would have made her sick with fury, but now she could only watch dully as Knight Haldir reacted. She didn't even seem to react when Hera's indignant words were flung her way.

Taking in a deep breath, she willed her thoughts to gather. So many words burned in the back of her throat, aching to be let out. She didn't know why Haldir had acted the way he did. She knelt, picking up his helmet, and held it absently, turning it over and over in her head before holding it out to her old Master.

The time for tears wasn't over, but she was done crying in the dark.

"I have no idea what you mean by him making me his girlfriend," she stated flatly, but both sighted and blind eyes focused on the Arkadian's face with a sudden, clear calmness. Her body still trembled, but she tried to will her racing heart to stop thumping so painfully, her hands to stop shaking. "But I can assure you, he couldn't make me do anything he would want me to do, even if he tried with the Force." She fixed her eyes on Haldir next, and clenched her jaw.

"Pull yourself together."

It was a front; she was still two steps from falling apart, but she had to rein this in. Giving a sigh, her eyes closed briefly. Though they wouldn't see the rest of her face, they could see her shoulders lose their tension, and when her eyes opened again, the shaking had stopped.

She wasn't running now.

She looked at Hera again solemnly, then cocked her head. "How generous of them to return his body," she spoke, a note of sarcasm underlying her words. "That act won't bring him back. Nothing ever will. But I refuse to sit by complacently, trusting in the Light, taking false comfort that he has 'joined the Light', or whatever bullshit the Grandmaster wants to parrot. I will take down the Sith Empire. From the inside out. And I will not rest until I know for sure that they will remember their place is only where it should be; in the shadows." There was no longer any anger or fury in her voice, but neither was there joy or exultation. Flat, hard words, but beneath them a wall of strength, a solemn vow.

"Call it a leave of absence, then, if you wish it. I will return. And when I do, I will be coming back," she looked to Haldir then. Took in his face once more, before taking a deep breath. "...As a Shadow. And with your permission, I will complete my trials. I cannot delay any longer."

Turning away, she snapped her fingers. The sound of the crowd dulled to silence around them... a perfect bubble of their own private silence. An ability of the Force she had recently learned about. One she had been finessing since before Crix's death, now come to life.

"Forgive me. I have a concert to run. But if you seek a private audience later," she glanced over her shoulder at the Knights, "Then contact me. But otherwise, I have nothing more to say. Enjoy the festivities Knight Albion..." She paused.

"Knight Eressëa."

She picked up a microphone, and tossed it back to him over her shoulder, stalking towards the exit.

"Finish your set, Good Night, Moon. And then we will share drinks and host a proper memorium." There was so much to unpack from just a few moments; she was shaken, so much she felt ill to her core. They found her after all. And she wasn't sure if she could escape them; if they persisted in lingering by her side, she would have to entertain them. And that was daunting enough to do. As she left, she snapped her fingers again, and the normal noise of the crowd would come roaring back.

@Black Noise @Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Hera "The Joyful" Albion]

Hera couldn't believe her eyes or her ears as she watched the two of them. Haldir's face seemed to flash a thousand different emotions as he processed everything that Hera spoke to him. It was as if he thought a thousand and one things about her words. But the only response he seemed able to muster was a meek, "What did you say to me?" Hera almost wanted to respond with 'you heard me,' but such a childish retort would not help the situation, so she kept her mouth shut.

With her free hand, Hera tapped on the comlink at her hip, a silent call to reinforcements. Her other hand remained firmly on the hilt of her lightsaber. However, while she moved, Haldir spoke the words that struck Hera deeply, "Why would I subject someone to those things when they have been done to me since childhood?"

"Then you should know better," Her response came quick and cold, the reactionary emotions she held earlier having been pushed away with her breathing, "The only thing that I can see is that you haven't processed your trauma, and that puts you in no position to teach another." There was anger in the Justicar, but she did not act on it, that would not be acceptable. How could they not see the inappropriateness of their relationship? How could they deny what Hera thought she could so clearly see?

Then came the words of Willa Kanz. Hera's attempted to keep their face emotionless, to show no changes as the younger woman responded to the Justicar. Her words were laced with cynicism, sarcasm, and defiance, and Hera couldn't help but feel immense pity for the Padawan. They knew so little and had been taught so little. Willa Kanz had been failed by her masters, and it was nothing more than pitiable.

"Finish your set, Good Night, Moon. And then we will share drinks and host a proper memorium." At that, Hera finally spoke. "You may step away now, Willa, but I will be waiting here for you to finish. But not for you both to finish. Haldir, you will be coming with me to speak your peace to the council, they will be briefed on what I have seen and heard here. You will be given your chance to speak to them as well, but we will be going back together.

If you choose to walk away before that, Willa, then Haldir will face the council alone. If you choose to come with us, then you may intercede on his behalf. However, there will be no returning to the Jedi if you leave before that. Your master has no authority to name you a shadow, nor can he administer your trails yet." Turning directly to Haldir, she added, "Let's go, we can wait for Willa in the backroom."

@Killa Ree @Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Mako Krim]

Mako hadn't been sure where Hera was, only where she was heading. The Justicar had confided in the Pyke Jedi that she was going to be seeking out a wayward Padawan before she left. Mako had had one of those feelings then, the moment that she had left. That pull... that made him think that where he was wasn't where he should be.

He had followed Hera, though he had no idea where she was. He only knew where she was going and who she was chasing. She had shared a little bit of her thoughts before she left the temple, enough to give Mako an inkling. It was from there that the Jedi only had the force to guide him.

A graffiti advertisement, a colorful poster slapped on column at the spaceport had led Mako to the underground music festival. Whether it was the force or Mako's own selfish desires... The Jedi didn't know for certain as he bobbed his head to the beat of the music. Whatever was going on he didn't feel like he was needed and he could enjoy himself freely. Right up until his comlink buzzed in his pocket.

His thought was to ignore it, but instinct had the Jedi pulling the device from his pocket, bumping the hilt of his lightsaber under his clothes. There wasn't much to the message but Mako turned his head away from the stage and closed his eyes. The crowd was high with emotion and energy... and drugs. The lively festival was a maelstrom of exhilaration, joy, anxiety and a crowd of other emotions that threw a blanket over everything.

Mako cut that all out. The noise faded away to silence. The crowd of souls was filtered out as Mako sought his fellow Jedi out. It didn't take him long, the flame of righteous anger that she carried in her burning among the general chaos of the concert. Mako opened his eyes in surprise. She was a lot closer than he had thought she might be. The Pyke Jedi didn't linger on the thought too long however as he started to make his way through the crowd in Hera's general direction, a gentle hand parting his path as he steered any obstacle shaped concert-goer's out of the way.

@Black Noise @Killa Ree @Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Haldir Eressëa]

He had slipped, said something he shouldn't have because it didn't matter, and in the process he seemed to have pushed Willa away. Haldir fought the urge to sigh, to roll his eyes, and even show further overt hints of frustration as the situation further slipped out of control. Still, he couldn't blame Hera, even more so her accusations and presence, and yet he still acknowledged that the Justicar's presence only served for Willa's trust in him to dwindle. Who could blame the heartbroken Padawan to think that the Arkanian Offshoot brought down the whole cavalry upon herself, and for that doubt to remain strong regardless of Hera's misunderstanding of the relationship between Master and Padawan?

And how could he let false accusations get the better of him? The Knight knew he was better than this, better than the person his own family tried to shape him into. He had come here as a friend, no more than that, and yet...

With the bubble of silence Willa had provided came the realization Haldir never once thought to anticipate as he listened to her speak, then to Hera. His Padawan, his friend, once felt sorry for the Sith - and now she wanted to destroy them from within. The woman whose strength and character he had come to admire was beginning to thread a path he could not follow. If only he had been more present, if only he had reached out the moment news of Crix's death reached them. But there was no turning back time, nor was there any use crying over spilled milk. She was his Padawan, but at the end of the day she was her own person, following her own choices and will. Haldir wished they could've met under a different circumstance, without the scrutiny and scorn of another who didn't know the bond of friendship between him and Willa. Maybe then he could've said words he meant the most, words that wouldn't be twisted just because for the first time in a long while he allowed himself to care too much.

Shoganai.

Detaching himself from the situation, from his feelings, was too tempting and easy. But Haldir had become too stubborn, had learned that his feelings were important unlike what he had been taught. He kept his mouth shut for the whole duration of Willa and Hera's exchange, for once fearing that whatever he would say might further earn him his friends distrust and doubt. He let her go reluctantly, hanging onto her word as he took his discarded helmet and caught the mic thrown his way. He glanced at Hera, offering her an acquiescing nod.

"I'm afraid I have a set to finish," he told the Justicar, tone mild and devoid of any negativity she might be expecting. With one hand he put his helmet back on, his gaze still trained on her. "I came here as Good Night, Moon, after all. I'll return as soon as I'm done."

He had no reason to run away and even if he did, he wouldn't. And since Hera had practically stripped him of any authority over Willa as the Padawan's Master, then the Justicar could do all the work in trying to wrangle one Willa Kanz back to the Order with them. But just because he could be sentenced to relinquish being the Padawan's mentor didn't mean that any bond he had made with her would be severed so easily. Haldir, after all, still hadn't asked Willa to dance.

Without waiting for Hera to respond the Arkanian Offshoot immediately slipped out of the backstage and into the main stage when his stage name was called again, not giving the Justicar any chance to stop him. What had just transpired would've prompted him to change his set list entirely, hells, he would've lost all will to continue had he followed his fears and detached himself from his emotions. Willa seemed set on not running away any longer given her words earlier, and Haldir would be a hypocrite and a fool if he himself ran away from all of this. So he stuck with his songs, even if it created further misunderstandings from Hera's part, even if the lyrics implicated him from the Justicar's false accusations.

He didn't give a shit anymore as long as he reached Willa. As long as he spoke his heart out.

Song after song he poured his heart out, letting the crowd sing with him. The band followed through from one piece to the next, and when his last song began to play Haldir wasn't as lost in the music as when he began his set.

Spoiler: stuck in an old, empty dance hall

​

@Killa Ree @Black Noise @Arcangel

 

[Willa Kanz]

The ridiculousness of it all made her want to laugh and cry. It made her want to rip off her mask, to show that she was already slipping. That she was already gripping onto a crumbling ledge that yawned into an abyss? And yet, they had the audacity to... no, the nerve to lecture her on loss. Who had Hera clung onto to grieve? Who had she lost that made her want to fall?

Falling was the easiest choice to make when there was no one left to catch you.

Perhaps she was right... led by her attraction to Haldir, the forbidden thrill of seeing his face, hearing his voice, and knowing that she could affect him now.

She couldn't deny there was a part of her that thrilled to see him finally emote.

Once all is said and done, am I your fall?

There was no remorse left for what she had done. She had left the Order, yet they had the audacity to track her down, to tell her they cared. Well, where the hell were they when Maxims Tionson had died? Or when Crix vanished, or Hans died? Only one person bothered at all to reach their hands out and drag her back. Only he did it again, in all the wrong ways. It was all the wrong, twisted, ways, but in its' own, wasn't this beautiful?

She would either do this work with the sanction of the Order, or she would do it alone. But if they tried to imprison her, she would have to have a backup plan. A way for her words to echo across the galaxy, once and for all. They talked about rebelling against the Dark, but what did they really do? They lost a loyal Knight, Masters, and all they would do was placate with empty words and the smoke of burning bodies.

She clenched her fists again, hard enough to bleed. Hard enough for the crystal to slice her palm.

She knew what she had to do. So what if they brought back Crix's body? It wouldn't change anything. If anything, it strengthened her resolve further. But first, she would have to push Haldir away once and for all. He could stay with the Order if he wanted to, or if he persisted, she would have to face him again.

This time, she wouldn't crumple to her knees, bowed and broken by grief. Everything would be sealed, closed off and buried. Perhaps eventually, she could let it all go... but not today. She would have to face the Order, tell them why they left, and officially leave. They could keep their bloody pity.

//End Thread

 

[Hera "The Joyful" Albion]

Hera said nothing in response to Haldir, nor did she speak in response to Willa as the former Padawan made her choice. It seemed the Arkanian Offshoot was making his choice as well. His music took priority over the Order. His manipulative relationship with his former Padawan took priority over the Order. His passions guided his every action, overriding logic and basic decency. Hera's only consolation was the familiar feeling of another Jedi entering the concert hall.

Mako was here, after their escapade on Maltha Obex she could not mistake him. He would hear the music, the same as Hera. Would he come to the same conclusions as the Justicar after she briefed him on the situation? Hera shook her head, quietly sitting down in the back. She would wait for Haldir, what else was there? Go out on stage? Ignite her blades and force him to come with her immediately? A ridiculous thought, an action ruled by passion. Hera did not think herself ruled by passion.

So she waited. The council would have to decide all their fates now.