Little story for you all.

[Matt]

My friend is in a band and we went up to Norwich which is about 100 miles away from myself to see them play, we were sipping on some rather lovely cocktails and quickly became slightly inebriated so decided to dance.

Ladies were loving it of course and I danced around like a lunatic generally looking like a tit but alcohol hey!

So anyway got talking to a gentlemen and when I said my mate was in a band he went ape shit and we were chatting away with him and what I thought was his missus.

So, he brought me some drinks and I was most happy at this and was getting more and more inebriated.....This was going very well until the bloke tried grinding on me...I in horror asked him what he was doing and turns out he was gay, thought I was gay and was trying to chat me up!

At this point I would have told him despite having no problem with gays (There generally nice blokes in my experience) I didn't fancy dancing with him, but he offered to buy me another drink to say sorry.

Long story short it's four am and he was still buying me drinks and I told him I was bi and apparently came very close to kissing the bloke when I couldn't stand I was that drunk but my mate saved me.

So, apparently get some drinks down me and I'm anyone's.

 

[Kaeb]

Oh Matthew.

You are bound for hell.

And I'll see you there.

 

[Ser Gregor]

I knew this was gonna be a Matt story the minute I read the thread's name.

 

[Blaxican]

I don't get it.

 

[BLADE]

Was the dude good looking? No judgment.

 

[Brandon Rhea]

This confirms my longstanding theory that you'll **** anything that moves.

 

[Matt]

Was the dude good looking? No judgment.

I got a phone call the next morning from one of the girls we were out with and after she finished crying with laughter she gave him a high 6.

I can deal with a high 6.

And yes bac, my friend's opinion on my standards are ''He'll shag anything with a pulse and a fanny''

Well there clearly wrong on one count! Pfft!

 

[Nameless]

Get enough drinks in anyone and they're anybody's. It's a basic law of the universe.

 

[Kaeb]

The last time a gay gent came on to me was in a place called "The Dragon" in Dublin City, ****ing hilariously fun gay bar with great gigs every weekend.

Any way, long story short, after allowing all advances, until he tried to snog me. I gave him a hug, bought him a drink and we ended up going to see an indie movie the next day and now we're great mates.

I should give him a ring actually.

 

[BLADE]

I guess the only question now Matt is whether his story is little or big.

 

[Kaeb]

Hiiiiighhhh ooooooohhhh.

 

[Matt]

I guess the only question now Matt is whether his story is little or big.

 

[BLADE]

<3

*Inserts filthy emoticon... heh inserts*

 

[Phil]

Have you ever thought of going into stand up business, Matt?

Seriously, I love your stories.

 

[Kaeb]

I'd be the first drunk to heckle him.

 

[Jaqen H'ghar]

Not if I can help it hollow!

 

[Black Noise]

I can see you in the standup comedy business. I can also see that placing you in more situations with gay guys :D

 

[Endling vas Precious]

My favourite Matt story is the one where he shat his pants.

Or when he accidentally ate his gf's birth control pill. That was a good one too.