Mind Games

[Casimir Goetschl]

The rhythmic sound of the heart monitor filled the otherwise quiet room with sound. Hypnotic in nature, the sound gave an overall sense of the current state of the man the monitor was connected too. The figure lay in the bed, his upper torso lifted in a slight angle as the back of the bed brought him into a near sitting position. His legs remained beneath the sky-clue bed sheets, however, straps belonging to Velcro restraints emerged on both sides of the bed and remained firmly attached to the metal frames. Beneath the straps, the ankles were kept in a restrained position, refusing to allow for much movement. The man wore a typical hospital gown, the bed sheet itself folded neatly across his waist. Looking at the mans arm’s, they in similar fashion to the ankles, were restrained, though the restraints were situated at the elbows. His wrists were securely wrapped in thick white gauze. It was not a sight that many people would have expected to see in a hospital. They were facilities of hope, of life. They were meant to help people, not keep them locked down. In this instance, by securing the man, they were helping him.

A hand knocked on the hospital room door, which drew the patients attention. “Mister Casimir.” A voice broke as the door opened, “It’s time for your check up but I also bring an update with me.” The figure that entered was a Doctor, and a right pain in the arse if anyone asked. He was in his sixties, his voice deep and commanding, yet subtly holding the same charm a mall-santa would when dealing with children. Though his face was aged, his appearance increasingly gastly, his eyes held the stare of a man with a life time of intelligence and a man whom knew exactly how to use said intelligence. When it came to medical issues, this Doctor was one that most others avoided having debates with.

Goetschl turned his head back to the window in which he spent the majority of his recent days staring out of.

“Not in much of a mood to talk then?” Doctor Reichman asked, “You know, I am here to listen if you want to discuss what happened.” Though it was a statement, it came off with the allure of a question. Still Goetschl made no acknowledgement to the man, even as he approached the bed to take a look at the various monitors and i.v. drip that was hooked up to the Jedi Padawan. “Everything looks stable, though I need to have a nurse replace your antibiotic.” He explained as he pressed the small iv bag, and writing a bit of a chicken scratch note on it with a black sharpie marker. “I’m going to be looking at your wrists.”

Even though Goetschl was restrained, suicidal patients were treated with absolute caution. Though Casimir had not lashed out at anyone in anyway since arriving at the hospital, he still needed to be treated just like everyone else. Quietly the doctor began to remove the bandages, rolling the guaze quietly. “I thought I should give you a heads up. You have a visitor.”

It was that statement that caught Goetschl’s attention and forced the Jedi Padawan to finally turn face towards the physician.

“A Jedi. You and your family seem to be in a bit of a rift. Instead of inconveniencing you, the hospital contacted the last person you did on your datapad.” Goetschl immediately knew whom was called. “The Jedi Temple of Alderaan. Quite interesting. Almost immediately after leaving a message with a Jedi there, we got confirmation that one would be dispatched to Dantella IV.”

Casimir’s eyes narrowed in irritation before returning to the window. What Doctor Reichman did not explain was that the hospital planned to release the young man into Jedi care. The Jedi could be the ones to reveal that to him; Reichman was not about to irritate his patient more than he already had. Before finishing the unrolling of the wound on Goetschl’s wrist, the nurses station buzzed through the wall-monitor, “Message for Doctor Reichman. Your guest as arrived. Again, message for Doctor Reichman. Your guest has arrived.” Immediately the Doctor rerolled the wound. Typically he would have finished this examination but it was most apparent that this guest needed to be addressed. “I’ll be back in a few.”

Quietly the Doctor made his way from the room, quietly closing the door and adjusting the sign which read SUICIDE RISK – CAUTION NEEDED before making his way down the hall and towards the Nurses station. As soon as he turned the corner, his eyes fell to the first immediate Nurse whom handed him Casimir Goetschl’s medical file before falling to a woman whom stood patiently waiting to be addressed. “Thank you for coming on such short notice. My name if Doctor Alfred Reichman, and I do apologize, the Order stated someone would be coming but did not say who. May I ask whom you are?”​

 

[Empress]

There was a brief moment of frustration that fluttered though her body as Sal-Devra had received the message. The Kiffar Master had attended a meeting, then took a nice walk to admire the night air, and reminisce over her youth before retiring to the Coruscant temple to pack for her mornings journey to the ruins of the Bogan temple on Ando Prime.

Here she was now, unable to rest, and her fatigue showing as she found her way into the First Republic Medical complex several blocks from the Senate plaza. With much of the order a buzz with activity the Kiffar was the easiest to get a hold of, her compassionate nature dictated her to see what she could do to aid, the Padawan in question. Her initial briefings were sparse, saying the medical units would be better equipped to explain in full detail.

Having stripped from her cocktail dress hours ago she for once appeared in traditional cut robes of black and violet, quite different than her typical body glove. She felt it would be wise given the situation, to appear the role she was asked to fill. With her arms folded over her full chest the dark hued woman waited patently outside the lobby. Once addressed Sal kept words to a minimum allowing herself to take in the full situation first.

" You summoned me?" she asked upon seeing the doctor approaching. The Masters breath becoming deep and controlled as she tried to put on the most relaxing presence she could.

 

[Casimir Goetschl]

She avoided the Doctors question asking as to whom she was. Apparently Jedi did not give out there names as easy as people did candy to children. Had this been any other sort of situation, had he been dealing with any other sort of patient, he might have pressed her for identification. Instead, he would let it slide. "Yes," Doctor Reichman said, "I am currently watching over a patient whom was brought into our care after a suicide attempt." Gently he tapped the file on his hand as he motioned for the Jedi Master to follow him. There was still more that he needed to explain to the woman before he would even attempt to release Goetschl into her care.

"He is currently under a suicide watch. We fear that if we allow him outside of his restraints before proper care is administered, he will just perform another attempt. When we discovered that he was a Jedi Padawan, I thought it best to contact the Order." He tried to answer her possible questions before she had a chance to ask them. "We thought of family but the young man's family has outright refused to come to his aid. Apparently there is some internal strife occurring within his kin that has resorted into him being labeled an outcast. With no family, I went to the next best thing." His gaze turned to the woman.

"You."

They rounded the corner and began a pace down the main hallway to Goetschl's room, "If he is truly a Jedi Padawan, then perhaps your Order would be the ones to best serve in his recovery. I'll be honest, I do not know a lot about your group or your hocus pocus abilities, but I do know from stories that you all stick together." He paused for only a moment, "Do you know of a Casimir Goetschl?"​

 

[Empress]

Sal Devra listened intently as she paced along hearing the details. She had no urge to interrupt the good doctor, though found it odd that he seemed so removed from basic knowledge of the Jedi Order. However Sal had to take the moment to reflect on this fact, she herself was so often buried in her own work and research that the events of the galaxy seemed to slip by.

" What do I know of him?" she asked, responding to the question a thoughtfulness to her voice as she tried her best to go through the lists of names in her mind, and conversations of recent students. " I'm afraid to say not as much as I should, Our order sees millions of potentials tested a year, and thousands of new student in that time, many of us scattered all across Republic space " With a heavy sigh Sal half shut her eyes. " And that is what I find troubling" she stated, her tones becoming hushed. " The Path of the Jedi is one that requires a peace, to be able to take any thought, any emotion and understand it, to be mindful of out thoughts, our feelings, to know when to let go, to live our moment and be perfectly in balance with the tapestry of the Force....To hold such troubles as to be self destructive to this extent is more than alarming, not only is it a danger to him, what one may do to themselves, it's what they may do to the others and the susceptibility to what we refer to as the dark side..." Sal Devra knew she was rambling to a point, but felt it best to illustrate her reasoning.

" The Light side teaches peace, and harmony of one's self. It is the constructive side of the Force from which all Love, compassion, and understanding originate- it is the essence of Life. Those who are at peace with themselves can learn to harness the amazing powers of the Force....
The Dark Side is the counterweight to the light. The dark side springs from the negative, and destructive impulses of all living things- Anger, and hatred are its symptoms, Death and War are its byproducts. It is dangerously Seductive to those who lack the ability to control, or understand their emotions, and passions. The end result is always suffering, for themselves, and countless others. "

The young Kiffar master simply waved a dismissive and as it to remind herself to save the speech...The Doctor didn't care to hear this and lacked the ability to fully grasp the implications. If the long known battles between Jedi, and Bogan, the massive destruction down to this very city, and a major part of the current war had not reached his attention, none of this would. In a way Sal found the ability to indulge in self imposed ignorance as a thing of envy, however did not let that fancy take hold.

" I can see however what I can do...Padawan's should be under the eyes of a Master or in one of the academies... how one could slip so far with no notice...." Again she cut short her words. They were no longer needed. The young man here was the focus of concern, not a potentially serious problem within the order. Talzea would hear of this personally once it was over.

 

[Casimir Goetschl]

wheThe Jedi were far more complicated that the Doctor could have imagined. Light side, dark side, the force, training, testing, it all flew over the top of his head. He had been trained and tested through his own education but it had been routine and basic. What the Jedi did, exactly, was unknown to anyone outside of their Order but n she spoke, she spoke with a near fire in her voice. Her descriptions showed a passion for the people she served and that simply reaffirmed his belief that he did, in fact, call the right people. The only concern Doctor Reichman had was in how this woman would deal with Casimir? She mentioned that Jedi needed clear, peaceful minds. From an employment standpoint, it sounded like Goetschl was about to be canned. Nothing like getting fired while still in the hospital.

He could have been wrong.

He did not think he was.

"I've dealt with dozen of suicidal people in my time. When it comes to a level of intellect, most suicidal people do not have a chaotic mind, so to speak. Think of a humans minds like an empty bowl. When you put in water, oil, and other various items, they don't mix, it's layered. Its the same with a thought process. The problem occurs when those thoughts try to mix. When you try and stir water and oil together, it doesn't work. They fight one another for control and to separate thus re-layering. Its during a moment of mental chaos in which a person hits their breaking point." Doctor Reichman explained. "What causes the chaos is depression and/or grief but what causes depression could be one of three things; a sudden psychological shock, mental chemical imbalance, and a genetic issue. Casimir has the psychological shock but I have not tested for the other two issues yet."

How did one test for chemical imbalances? They simply gave someone a variety of drugs and waited to see if they got better. Testing genetics was so much easier. "I put a call into his family's physician but I have not gotten a response yet. I want to see his childhood and teen medical issues. We could be dealing with someone who has suffered chronic depression." His voice was almost empathic as it finished that last statement. Finally the two reached Goetschl's hospital room door, Reichman giving a quick look in by means of the tiny square window in the door.

"He simply sits there. Not uttering a single word. He's not spoken nor said anything since arriving." Reichman spoke, "I've not seen anyone like this before."

Goetschl, himself, remained as he was since Reichman had earlier left, completely frozen on his bed, his attention simply to the window that led to the outside world.​

 

[Empress]

Sal simply tipped her jaw in thought. Her mind racing over not only probable causes, but the fact that somehow something so serious would be unnoticed by potentially hundreds of force users of any skill level. " Chemical unbalances may be the least likely" she stated bringing her thumb to her full lip. " typically a routine blood test would show imbalance in the hormone levels lack of dopamine, melatonin levels, their conversion rates, and low levels of 5HTP would be readily known. Further more Typically a change in diet, rest and exposure to vitamin D can correct this naturally..."

Her sapphire eyes narrowed as she continued to ponder. " Physical trauma is a possibility. a serious concussion, or any other head injury that may have damaged soft tissue or disrupted the synapses can cause sudden shifts in personality, as could strokes or clots....those could account as to why nobody would have been aware of his conditions. Emotional trauma... " the Kiffar paused her thought for a moment to take a deep breath and ease herself " Those too can be late onset...a suppressed memory, something recent, perhaps shell shock... serious enough in non force users... but to one who is in touch with the force it can be catastrophic. I'll just have to be careful, I doubt it wise to try and touch is thoughts before he invites me to do so...."

Shaking her head the Jedi's mind finally snapped back to the moment of her own actions, and the sudden realization that she never introduced herself. Most of her night up until this point was spend in such formal climates, that she allowed herself to relax from the social norms too much. " I'm sorry, I utterly forgot to give proper introduction... I'm Dr Sal-Devra Quithmaren, Jedi Master... " she said finally putting a hand to her side.

 

[Casimir Goetschl]

"Pleasure to meet you Master Jedi." Doctor Reichman replied, a bit relieved to finally know the womans name. It was hard speaking to someone without knowing a piece of their info, not even their name in the least. What was a bigger relief was the fact that the Order sent another Physician. That was absolutely wonderful. Another medical mind, and a well educated one at that. Had she been a few decades older, or he a few decades younger, he might have made a pass at someone so intellectually stimulating.

She was also showing some civility when speaking of the Doctors patient. A remarkable trait Jedi were rumored to have and one that he was nearly ecstatic that everything he knew of Jedi was slowly being confirmed. He took another momentary glance back into the room, before turning his face back to the Master Jedi, "I'll give you two some privacy then. Just press the button on the wall behind his bed if you need me or a nurse. I'll be back at the nurses station."

Quietly the Doctor knocked on the door, alerting Casimir within to someones presence before opening the door and allowing the female physician to enter. "Hopefully you can get him to say something." The Doctor mumbled before turning his attention over to Casimir, "You know how to reach us if you need us, Mister Casimir. Play nice you two." The Doctor let out a light, playful chuckle as he shut the door.


Casimir took his eyes off the window and allowed them to have a much needed blink. They fixated on the woman, though only in a passing glance, before turning back to the window. His nostrils flared slightly as he let out a prolonged breath, exhaling deeply. His body, still restrained, tensed slightly at the arrival of this Jedi, or supposed Jedi. Still, he was not dealing with some over-zealous Santa Clause of a Doctor. He was not dealing with some over worked, under paid Nurse. He was not dealing with family. He now had a full Jedi in his room. Most probably some Knight the Order thought should come out here for a quick pit-stop before continuing on.

"Hello." Goetschl finally spoke, his voice raspy and dry.​

 

[Zen]

The Shade Master Sho’Flo Had arrived shortly, After the Jedi Master, His patience was full, and he was a bit tired, From the Work of His Grandmaster. He had walked in shortly, And felt two things force users, One being A weak and of need of help the other, Like himself strong. His eyes flicked, around examine, Then eyed the rooms and the patentees slowly. And Begun to go inside the main room, to seek out more emotion, His Legs enhance and he begun to move in a blur like state to find a door with the patience. Searching nearly all the rooms and finding nothing of the like he had come across, A Sign in the room. He sighed and had hoped for the best. He had tried to open the door if usefully he would, slowly close. It and speak.."I came to help the weak.” He stopped in his sentence, as He saw the Strong Force wielder. And the weak one.."I did not know you had company, I will leave, And wait outside if you wish, And then I may Help him out? My Apologies, I am a Shade Master from the Shade Order, greetings?” He said with a question.

 

[Empress]

Sal-Devra Quickly shifted her demeanor to a more relaxed, and empathic one. Her thoughts reaching out to the fabric of the universe flowing about the room to transmit a soothing atmosphere, hoping to take any discomfort her presence may have had triggered.

" A good evening to you Casimir." she said. Her tones soft and light. There was already a hint of compassion to her voice. They were genuine tones, not born of professional need, but spoke of a true care for those suffering on a greater level.
" I am Master Quithmaren, However if it makes it any easier you can just Call me Sal." The copper hued Kiffar moved slowly to be a few paces to the side of Casimir, allowing him a comfort zone. Hiking her robes, Sal knelt against the wall, her weight shifting to the balls of her feet. " I understand there was something bot...." Sal's words fell short for a moment as she noticed a shift in the Force's balance.

In the minds eye of the force there was what best could be depicted as a dancing candle flame of the Padawan, the faint sparks of the average individual, and the sudden blooming of a small wildfire of mottled hues, Light and dark swirling in a fairly even balance...the trademark of a rogue force user, a Shade most likely. Sal personally had no real opinion of the Shade herself, however her instinctual mind quickly told her that any negative energies at this moment may be more trouble than not. The chance of overwhelming the boy seemed high, and the Kiffar was unsure still how receptive he would be to such conflicting presences.

..." that there was something bothering you?" she continued, her senses now on alert, however her focus remaining firmly on the young man, with almost a Maternal instinct.

 

[Zen]

He had leaned on the wall, Quietly, And listened to her last sentence, he did not mean to cause trouble. But it seemed that this Lady, was worried like, the force was something both to like and there was always the uprising sensitive in what to found or not to. He quietly, Slide down and sat on the floor. Watching and hopefully she would let him Stay in the room so He may treat the boy. And besides, After this was done he needed to Found the Jedi. So he may speak with them. He looked at the child he was more concerned about the child, Then the troubled Woman. He felt helpless at this time, Knowing he can help but could not do it yet, Unless told.

 

[Casimir Goetschl]

His mind was already racing to answer prospective questions that had not been asked. The women returned his greeting with a more formal line. Her tone was unassuming yet almost cautious. The tension in the room seemed to lessen ever so slightly but it was still apparent that invisible egg-shells must have been about as both Casimir and the woman seemed wary of how to continue. He was not going to say anything and simply allowed silence too take hold. That silence, however, did not last long as she continued on. She identified herself as Master Quithmaren and stated that he could just call her Sal. Obviously she had not a clue about Casimir, as his own… err… former Master learned the hard way that Goetschl did not refer to anyone by Master, regardless as to whether or not their rank was justified or by mere symbolism, such as the Knight that had started Goetschl’s training. As she moved over towards his side, the man took a moment to actually check the Jedi Master out.

She was a race that Goetschl was unfamiliar with. Growing up amongst humans, in a ninety-nine percent human populated planet meant contact with other species was rare. He met a Twi’lek… once. Every other alien species he only observed on the holo-television or read about in books. This was the closest he had ever been to a non-human. She was beautiful yet held a posture of a woman with authority. Interesting yet deadly combination in the galaxy. She was attractive and perhaps it was here that any other man in Goetschls position may have put out some cheesy pick up line or suave wink and grin. Goetschl had none of it. Intimacy to him was overrated and relatively unneeded. Why ever risk putting oneself in a position to be hurt by another? Sticking to themselves, a person had the ultimate protection; did they not?

Sal began her next scentence but was cut short. Almost immediately her attention seemed to drift elsewhere and within seconds, it was revealed why. A new man appeared, a guy who had instantly proclaimed that he was here to help the weak. Who the hell did he call weak? Casimir? Goetschl cracked his neck in irritation, turning his attention immediately back to the window. The man rambled on about waiting outside if it was deemed so. Why was he here anyway? Perhaps the fact that Goetschl turned his head on the man would have been sufficient in telling him that his presence was not wanted. What the hell was a Shade anyway? Where the hell did he get off on calling Casimir weak? Again the Padawan cracked his neck.

The man had not fully left the room, to which Goetschl finally addressed him. "Please make your leave." Still, his face remained fixated towards the window. Once he had heard the hospital rooms door shut and once the two were alone, he heard Sal finish her statement. Amazing that she could ignore him in such a manner. Finally he spoke, “Yes.” He replied. “I’m strapped to a hospital bed for starters. Mind removing them?” He jerked his elbows upwards, shaking the beds metal frame and revealing the Velcro strap that kept him pinned.​

 

[Empress]

Sal's eyes flashed to the shade for a moment before returning to the young man, her mind so gently reaching out to touch Casimir... not in a probing way, nothing was looked into, the sensation was more that of a soft caress , and the whispered thoughts that danced beyond the ability for others to hear " ~ he is not with me. ~"
" We may be able to do that in a moment or two" Sal continued. her tones still soft and embracing. " I don't like seeing it, but I can have those removed if YOU take the moment to help me with something as well..." Sal knew full well that he would pick up on the game of trust. It was hoped her tones would give voice to the true caution for everyone involved in what was at the moment a fairly blind moment. Sal knew little of the root of the problem, He had no reason to tell her anything yet, and she would never force it from him. He had to make the choices here. The Kiffar was naturally more than able to deal with any problems that may rise, but she did not want to make those choices, This was Casimir's choice on how this played out, she was here to support, not fix, or aid unless desired. She could feel his shifting annoyances, his urge to break his restraints, She would gladly do so, she just needed to know for sure that he was ready for that.

 

[Zen]

The Man eyed the boy, And Nodded, he stood up and exited the room. He closed the door, and waited outside slowly... He seemed to not take notice of his troubles. But knew of them, And that other one the female who was she. He eyed the door, as it had said the Suicide thing, and then would simply. Focus by closing his eyes, To allow a certain part of his body to hear low pitch noises, but not enough to go through the door, but enough to Hear what others were saying, in the the halls, He was 1200 years of age, Still a Teen in the Neti race. And Had a lot more to live for. He stood quietly, and patiently, waiting.

 

[Casimir Goetschl]

His eyes widened as her word’s filled his mind. That was a trick he knew about but had not been taught just yet. Perhaps it was for the best. No one needed Goetschl speaking into their minds; especially when he was in such a state as he currently was. Relieved ever so slightly, that the Shade was not her surprise guest, Goetschl loosened his muscles.

Then she mentioned that she needed help with something in return for the Velcro straps to be removed; a symbolic you scratch my back – I scratch yours. He knew what she wanted. He knew that she was curious, who wouldn’t be? It was not every day that someone came across a suicidal man. “I’ve been here too long.” Goetschl spoke. “Life itself seems almost meaningless. Think about it. What is the point of living? You wake up, you eat, you train, you eat, train some more, help some people, eat, wash up, sleep and start the day over again. Each passing day, each passing week, month and year, all of it is nothing but simple chance. When you wake up tomorrow, if you wake up, you were lucky. You were lucky to survive another day in a galaxy at war, a galaxy full of disease, famine, abusers, rapists, terrorists and the like. What’s there to live for when you can’t protect anyone?”

He was frustrated and though it sounded like uneducated ramblings of a mad-man, Goetschl was trying to formulate his explanation. It was proving most difficult.

“Do you know what it’s like to live in a family where you are raised to believe that they are everything. You’re loyalty is to them. You’re life dedicated for them. The advancement of your family and the continuation of a new generation are the driving for behind the name? Could you imagine living in something like that?” Goetschl wasn’t complaining. “It’s marvelous. You feel a sense of belonging, you feel safe and secure. Do you know what happens when you remove yourself from the familiar? The theoretical shit hits the fan.” His voice grew blunt. “Now imagine what would happen when you failed to protect one of those family members… imagine the guilt?”

In a huff, he allowed his head to hit the back of the bed, a breif woosh sound of air escaping the feather filled pillow as the cranium flattened it with ease. "A humans mind can only deal with so much; especially one that is genetically screwed up because of family antics from the onset."​

 

[Empress]

Sal Devra listened intently, taking in every word said and nodded as he went, her expression one of compassion, not as much the concern of a medical professional, but on a level of humanitarian, there was no pity, there was just a woman, feeling for the plight of another person.
" Those who see worldly life as an obstacle to living see no living in everyday actions; they have not discovered that there are no everyday actions outside of life." she stated, rising her full height " That is at least how it was taught to me once upon a time." Sal simply offered a warm smile as she eased closer. " Cass..I can't say I have lived exactly as you have, but yes those base thoughts, memories, fears....May not have developed from the same seed, but they still produce trees that bear the same fruits. I have lost people...however. It's worse because of my Species, and one of my abilities...I've witnessed countless slaughters, accidents, wars as if I was there, and it can happen anytime I touch an object, I live it's memories... "

Taking a seat at the edge of the bed the Kiffar lowered her head and again offered a smile. "You are right about the training though....that is quite a dull time, I snuck out quite often just to break the pattern... Master Keldrommas was often furious... She's a hard ass, always has been."

She let her eyes slide to the side as she recalled the memories, a slight chuckle passing her lips before turning back to the boy, her hand sweeping across the air infront of her, popping the restraints free with unseen hands. Patting the bed besides her Sal encouraged hi to sit with her and talk. Her posture was one of ease, she was just a woman here...not a Master, nor a professor, she was just Sal-Devra.

" a few times I managed to vanish for days...oh naturally I would wonder back, Or my Master would drag me back after finding me...More than once she had to bail me out of bad situations I had gotten myself into. But there was always something to learn in my times out..."

The kiffar folded her arms over her chest once more keeping her eyes on the padawan. " The thing is....Life...is not always nice, it's true.. there is always suffering...the suffering of the self can spread to the suffering of another, then to many others. It's what one chooses to do with such suffering. Do we ignore it? does that really help anything , for the others OR ourselves ? if we keep it bottled would it not only grow over time anyway?. We can try to run from it, but again, the end result will be the same, even 'ending' once own ability to feel suffering does little more than put that guilt, and blame on others, magnifying their own suffering. Or lastly do we understand it? to we accept it, and let it fall to the side allow ourselves to move past it to not only help ourselves, but others? Things can be ugly..but there is also amazing feats of compassion, and beauty out there, one needs only to want to look."

" lemme ask you... when was the last time you were able to just....be in the moment? free of all thoughts, with the aim to go nowhere and do nothing...concepts of time fall away, you are not then, nor 20 seconds from now, just...in that second, able to perceive things in a heightened sense, to just....drink in everything in it's true forms?"

 

[Casimir Goetschl]

"I don't live by the moment." Goetschl replied bluntly. "Life may be cruel and harsh, and honestly we may have little impact on the environment or those around us but there are moments when we are given a chance to plan out our future." Goetschl's personal planned had involved maiming himself. Extinguishing the flame that was his soul. Unlike many other suicidal people, he planned his attempt. It was not spontaneous. It had been planned, manipulated and set. He knew of the ideals that were the light and dark. He understood the problem that Jedi faced on a daily basis. He also understood that his training was one of a few unique cases. The man was twenty-three, a Padawan. He was already behind the eight-ball on almost every front. He was more susceptible to being lured away from the path of the Jedi than other people.

Sal had told him a story about her time as a Padawan, how she often snuck out and did her own thing but then she mentioned how she had to be saved at times. Goetschl did not like the feeling of dependency. Even when training, the man avoided any real bonding with his Master. Why grow close to someone? Why give anyone that sort of trust?

"Beauty and compassion are two feelings the galaxy does not have enough of." Goetschl agreed. The Master was right; the galaxy desperately needed an enema of compassion shoved up its rear. "But those are feelings that I honestly don't need at the moment. Feelings are useless." He was not arguing, he was simply trying to convince himself yet it was these sporadic and unfocused statements that were simply doing more harm than good. He needed to calm his mind. Where was the doctor with his damn medications?

What was Casimir suppose to do now? He failed in his attempt at claiming his own life. Either by random chance or by some unseen force, Casimir had been found in the tub and saved within minutes of his wrists being cut. "And to be quite honest, I did not do this to myself to end the suffering... I did it to stop myself from doing something I would probably regret later on." Did a Jedi seek vengeance? "Has anyone even told you about the situation surrounding this?" He raised his wrists, the white gauze needing a desperate change.​

 

[Zen]

Sho’Flo looked around the halls, then his focus shifted towards, the room he was inside before, his Mind had flicked and he begun to feel, the emotions running, the 1200 year old Neti, Hummed quietly but loudly enough for the two to hear from the other side, those emotions both running from, the Boy, and even the female. Did not trouble. Only brought back his own lost forgotten mooneyes.

It was the day he had turned 100 a happy day of his Neti, Life. Till he had to enjoy his study and read books every time, trouble some. Yes, Harsh at times, but having an radically amount of time to live, he had to study to learn and have knowledge of the world.

Not only that, but he speculations in broadcast careers, something the human brain or mind would dream of holding but the brain would eloped if held so much knowledge… His eyes, Flicked towards where he stood, he smiled and He then, softly entered the mind of the Female hopefully she will allow to enter and not fight his will. HE would not search her mind, but speak slowly.

Jedi Msaster, I assume that is your rank, I wish to help the boy. Overcome this thing. If he allows me, I hope for the sake of the Jedi World, and the World around us, that he can live to see another day. And that both yourself and myself helped him, at this current time. I will not enter unless the boy wishes me or if you wish for help in this method you are performing, Although I hardly know the boy, I care about every living being good or bad, They have a choice to make. So what do you say, Miss err?

At the end of the Telepathic message that was sent and sent only to Her Mind, not the boy’s so he will not be able to hear him talk. Not only was he offering help, but He gently asked the Jedi master’s Name.

 

[Empress]

The Kiffar nodded in acknowledgment as the young man spoke, and doing so with a serious manner. She wondered if he had spoken this way often, and how often it was responded to with a pat on the head, or simply let go of never to be spoken of again. noting the need for changing his dressings. " No, Nobody has told me the tale of what has been happening...but you know, now is as good as any if you like." Her words were soft, and caressing, pure in her interest.

She gave him a moment as she slipped off the bed for a moment, moving to a small cart neat the foot, there she gathered antibiotics, and new dressing before returning to the mans side. " Don't worry" she cooed, holding an open palm to him inviting her to allow her to changes the wrappings. " I am trained medically to a degree. I bet they itch like mad as well...I can take care of that too, if you let me."

The Kiffar master did not let it show on her face, or her thoughts that the Shade had been speaking to her, though she was aware, and toiled over her response to him. She knew that, in large the Shade knights were often good in heart...however they danced with the darkside just as much as the light. There was always a balance, light cannot live without dark, nor can dark be without the contrast of light. However the Shade played a dangerous game. Her main worries that the conflicting ripples of force energy about would prove a distraction for the boy, or a catalyst that awakens darker thoughts. ' Let me speak to him some more,' she returned the thought. ' let him become more open to the moment, and see how he feels.'

 

[Zen]

He looked out and went back into her mind speaking.Understood. He said in a calm chilling voice that would mean friendship, he hang out outside patiently, waiting for a call for him to come in.


(Sorry, for the small post.)

 

[Casimir Goetschl]

"I can still see her face. The smug yet oddly complacent gaze she gave me when I entered the room." Goetschl closed his eyes as the memory of the day returned to him. "I had been on Alderaan, trying to train when I got an odd message from my family back home. It was a rammbling message about a variety of things but from what I gathered, someone had broken into two of my family member's homes; as part of a wider crime spree in the area. They did not tell me if anyone was hurt so I left the Enclave. In route, I was informed that my Aunt had stopped on this trash heap of a planet and was asked to check on her. Since it was on my way, I agreed."

It was an odd feeling; the grief process. There were, in fact, five stages of the process. Denial was the first and Goetschl felt that almost as soon as he came into the home. "It was so strangely quiet in her apartment." Goetschl explained. "She always had some form of music playing in the background. Always. I think thats what raised my nerves. When I went through the place, I called out to her but with no response. As I entered the bedroom, I found her laying on the floor. Her eyes had this glazed over look of confusion. " He paused as his jaw clenched. "I just... couldn't believe it."

The next stage had been anger. "When I glanced at the window, a fiery red head in a black body suit was in the process of leaving. Her smug appearance and that wink she gave him caused my face to flush in heat. I had only ever been so angry once in my life. I charged but by the time I made it, she had already plopped into a waiting speeder and sped off." Third was bargaining. "Have you ever held a dead body?" Goetschl asked as his eyes finally reopened. "Its so weird, how a body can get so stiff, so still when all you remember of it was the person that made it mobile. I pleaded with myself to find some means of revival but the trauma too her chest had deflated a lung and it appeared, based on the amount of dark blood, that she had been stabbed in the liver. She died within minutes of the attack."

The fourth feeling was depression and that was what pushed Goetschl over the edge. "I explained everything to the investigators and explained the woman to them. They informed me that the robberies and thefts back home were not related to this case and that this incident matched the calling card of a professional theif that had been on the run for years. So I went to a hotel, unable to fully process everything, got into a tub and slit my wrists. Who would have thought that law enforcement would come looking for me. I guess I gave them some weird vibe when I spoke with them earlier. Sure enough... they found me. I woke up here a couple days later, in this exact bed."

Goetschl was entering the stage of acceptance, or starting too. The problem that currently rippled through his genetically fudged up mind was if and when he found this woman, and one day he would, would the motivations be justice... or revenge?

As far as Sal's earlier statement about wanting to help his wounds, "No thank you. The scars will always be a reminder. I do not fear death; if a man can try and claim his own life with little fear, what makes someone think that same man will be intimidated if someone else tries to extinguish it?"

"Why was it you that came?" Goetschl asked suddenly. "A Jedi Master coming to the aid of a Padawan? I thought that a Knight would have been the one sent on this errand." He was honestly curious. His first Master had vanished on him and recently Goetschl had been taken up by another. Why neither/or came was a good question but what was more intriguing was why this Jedi Master, why Sal had come. Weren't there more important things she could have been doing?​