Moonlit Crucible

[TweedPawn]

On the ash covered planet of Coruscant, pale moonlight blanketed the world in silver. Gaunerei, sat at the edge of Ebberla's bed. He was invited to her room these days. A bond he never saw coming, or maybe it had been set forth all along. He couldn't see the threads anymore. The window he watched had shadows cast on the room.

A pale snow covered mountain. Two hated enemies at eachother's throats. Eons of spite that nearly drove the world mad. It was going to happen again. Gaun looked at the sleeping Ebberla Daw. A part of Gaunerei wanted to use her. She would be a perfect direct line to codes, dirty little secrets, and escape routes. That was the part of Gaunerei that was buried under mortality now. A darker God, used to dark dealings.

The mortal Gaunerei was almost a slave to her. Her trickster champion. A dancer above the chaotic waves that threatened to consume them both.

seer of time, have you seen your death?

He had seen his death thousands of times, in hundreds of ways.

are you not afraid?

He was terrified. But he had encountered something worse than death many times over.

and you seen what was worse than that, haven't you?

Gaunerei shook that memory from his mind. The way the moonlight rested on Ebberla's face betrayed that she was not sleeping well. She always had nightmares. In the old days, a talisman would have been recommended. Now, they had medicine. But Gaunerei was neither of those things.

He laid back down next to her. The ability he had was neither light nor dark. It simply was. It was one of the most ancient of the Force's gifts. He slipped from reality like diving into a clear pool. He emerged in her nightmare, clouded in mist and starlight.

Where are you? he asked. It would flutter to Ebberla like a bird.

 

[GABA]

Ebberla stood alone in her forest, the gnarled trees went on for miles around her and no matter where she turned, she could not find her way out. When she looked up to the sky, she could no longer see the stars, the branches climbed so high, it blocked the night sky, or at least she thought it was night. There was a light that seemed to still glow around her and it left the Corellian confused.

This wasn't the first time she was in this forest, she had been in it many times before, but she wouldn't recall such fact as she continued to press forward, looking for a sign of an end. Her feet sunk in grey snow as she walked, she was cold, but couldn't tell if it was herself or the air around her.

Ebb heard something behind her, and turned, only seeing a cloud, but was quick to dismiss as her mind brought her back to her goal...though she couldn't recall her goal, or why she was here, or how she even got here. She reached out and touched the dark bark of a tree, recognizing its roughness, but as she pulled her hand away, it was covered in blood.

The woman stared at it for a moment, but felt nothing, no shock, no sadness, no remorse, she was simply there, experiencing what her tormented mind wanted her to feel: nothing.

"/I am here.../" she felt herself speak in Olys Corellisi, not sure who she was calling out to or why she was even doing such an action. She looked at the blood on her hand and wiped it on her pant leg. She looked back up, startling herself as she looked into the eyes of a padawan who was long gone. Ebberla didn't know her name, but all she knew, she didn't want her around and Ebberla turned around heading in a different direction.

 

[TweedPawn]

The forest was similar to one on Sacul. Even to the blood moss that coated its trees. Fragments of the subconscious moved like electricity through the trunks. Their torsos were like a deer's, with slender forked legs dancing erratically on the forest floor. Their long, velvet necks were adorned with flat faces that flickered with images. Sentient beings, created by parts of the mind so deep that they were independent of their creator. They turned to Gaunerei, trying to entice him to be long in their puzzles of shifting color, sound, and shapes.

But these creatures were common in the dreamscapes. They were forgotten memories, the faces of strangers, and music lost to time now mixed into chaos. Gaunerei knew not to look into them for long. They continued on from Ebberla's new memories as they churned into the mind. They were intrigued by the Rabbit's intrusion. He was familiar and a stranger to them.

One of the creatures turned into a padawan, gaining power from being seen only to flicker back into abstract when she looked away. Others turned into and out of the trees, their faces and limbs becoming branches.

Gaunerei would follow, his own form changing and shifted between the abstract and the concrete. He would finally choose the form of an owl. Its starry-white coat illuminated the forest. Its feet grasped the blood-branches.

See me. Follow me.

He sat high in the trees, but was clearly visible. Four creatures of the Forgotten watched him from below, slowly stretching their impossible necks to bring their faces closer to him. They ignored Ebberla Daw, and kept their distance from the intruder.

Every thing here, is a shape of another. And then another. And another. Until, at the very end, they are merely the firing of your biology trying to make sense of the impossible. Of existence.

 

[GABA]

A part of her wanted to stop and think, but another part wanted to keep moving. She had forgotten where she was going, but all she knew she had to keep moving. There was a still breeze, the air moved passed her with the screams of those who died on Anoth, the trees shivered, but she was still, her hair and clothes undisturbed, only leaving a sicking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

However, she felt the need to look up seeing the owl in the trees. It stood out from the rest that surrounded her, and for a brief moment it brought her peace until she heard the screams again.

"/Quick, I have to go, keep moving./" Ebb felt her legs freeze in place as she raised her arm, offering the owl to perch, "/If we don't move, they'll come, I can't be caught, you don't want to be caught either.../"

She went to take a step, but her legs felt like they sunk into molasses. It felt as though time sped up as she was slow to move, but through her willpower, she pushed through, able to continue through the ashy snow, "I'll protect you..." she told the owl and felt herself grip something in her hand. There was the distinct hum as she held up a lightsaber, she knew it didn't belong to her, especially being a blue beam, nor did she know where it came from, but the woman knew she could use it effectively.

Another wind blew with screams and it made Ebb's stomach turn again. The lightsaber disappeared from her palm and legs turned to lead. She felt an overwhelming panic and felt the urge she needed to wake up, "I don't want to see what is coming, I know the end, I need to wake up!"

 

[TweedPawn]

The owl rested on Ebberla. The Forgotten that made the scream jerkily moved behind Ebberla. Its face wavering like ripples in a pond. Its legs rapidly moving, yet staying still. It did not chase Ebberla, but moved like a ghost.

turn around

The owl stared at Ebberla fearlessly, with unblinking eyes. It extended its wings.

you have meet them before.

The Forgotten was not hostile. It simply was. Others stood by in between the trees. They silently watched. They reflected their own assortment of sensations. They were like specters in a home.

you know it, and you know me. All of this is you. Your memory. Your nerve cells.

The lightsaber's color reflected on its starry feathers and the rippling face of the Forgotten. Already, it was shifting. Its face also stretching unnaturally towards the owl. It was investigating it, trying to match its sounds to the owl.

 

[GABA]

There was an explosion behind her, she could see the flashing lights of blaster fire pass her, orders being shouted as troops crossed through the forest. Ebb felt the lightsaber in her hand again and she looked at the owl and turned around, feeling a familiar trust emit from her companion.

She couldn't feel the bolts as she was hit repeatedly as faced behind her. The Forest cleared, but what remained was debris and dust and the continuous war that not only haunted the galaxy, but invaded her dreams also.

"I have to stop it, I have to end it." The battle raged around her and the owl, she pulled the bird close to her and kept moving forward, but paused as she heard a distinctive 'Mama!' cry out behind her. Ebberla turned around to see Vida running towards her in a plum sun dress and her heart fluttered with joy. The war still continued around them as Ebberla held Vida in her arms, hugging closely, memories of how daughter smelled seeped into her dream.

Ebb started to realize she was dreaming, she would never let Vida on the battlefield, she would be safe and far from it all. Ebb was aware she wanted to wake up, but was also aware she could change what could happen. The Corellian looked down to realize Vida was gone, her lightsaber now in her child's place.

"My memories as so painful," she quickly turned, looking for the owl, "I want it to go away, I don't want to live this over and over again..."

 

[TweedPawn]

then see them.

The owl tumbled onto the ground. It turned once more into a man made of mist and starlight. His form more clear now. He stood strongly in the battlefield. He had smiled at the sight of Vida, growing so big and strong. The battlefield did not phase him. Maybe that was a flaw of his. He was jaded to war. He had seen too many. Too many different endings.

Tell them to me. You can not change your past. You can not change your memories.

He now reached out, weaving like he was creating some sort of invisible web with his fingers. He began to exercise control now.

tell me what you see. How it makes you feel. A web of light in a circle appeared before the starry man. He began to press the web onto Ebberla.

And know...that you are not alone. Even in your dreams. The mist fell from the man, the stardust formed into the shape Ebberla would know: The Prince of Rabbits.

 

[GABA]

Ebb watched the starry man, hearing his words in her head as he manipulated the environment around him. Her curious instinct reached out to him, her palm raised as to touch what he was making. "/I tell myself I am not alone...but it just happens.../" the stars feel from the misty figure and his image was that she indeed recognized, leaving the Corellian only to grin as he allowed him to press the web into her.

She reached to grab his hand and frowned, "/No...you can't be here.../" she whispered continuing to speak in her Corellian old world language. She looked down to see where the web had gone, but her attention was pulled to the rising gnarled branches of her dead forest. Ebb pulled Gaun close to her as the trees rose infinitely into the dark sky. "/This place is only death./" she told him, burying her face into his chest. She closed her eyes tightly, hoping to shake herself awake, but she was unsuccessful.

"/The trees used to be beautiful, but now they drip with the blood that rest on my hands.../"

 

[TweedPawn]

The Web would vanish as it went into Ebberla. With it would reveal truths about the dream. Her regrets, her sorrows, her self-blame manifesting itself in the shapes, colors, and patterns.

you can change it. He would only allow her to embrace him. He kept her asleep. She had to understand. She had to see. Since she was the cause of it, she could be the change.

I can not change your memory, Ebberla Daw. I can only reveal to you the truth of your dreams. Everything in this world is your mind trying to make sense of what happened to you. The nerves in your brain are trying to piece together the events of your past, even to this day. Everything here is a fragment, even the forest you have seen before. It makes manifestations of your abstract thoughts and tries to create images from it.

He reached to a nearby tree, dug into its trunk as if it was make of of cake. Blood covered his fingers, yet he tore away the tree to reveal a clean, pure patch of trunk. At the edges, small fires of electricity zapped.

Your guilt grows this moss, your sorrow feeds its darkness, yet under it all is your joy. Your trees still live. They find hope, even if you can't when you are awake. he held up the blood soaked tree mush. It began to wither in his hand, drying out.

Look at your guilt, Ebberla Daw. You can not change the past. You must use it. You must decide the lessons that others will learn from it. Yes, Others. For they are the ones who will be watching. They will be the ones waiting to see what will become of you. What will they learn?

Will they learn that you allow grief to manipulate your nightmares? That Ebberla will allow her neck to be weighed by stones to drown her? Or will they learn to fear you? Because instead of your story being about falling, it is about rising? It is about how Ebberla Daw ripped the moss off of these trees, threw it at the ground and saw sunlight again?

the darkness fear those who can face their guilt, accept it, and use it to help others find their way. It teaches ideas. Ideas that help farmer boys destroy space stations and Emperors.

 

[GABA]

She woke up from this nightmare nearly every night, she never wanted to see how it ended and now her thoughts were fighting to keep her present. She pushed away from Gaunerei, "/No, I'm going to wake up!/" she cried out, "/There is not a happier ending!/"

It was as though a vacuum engulfed Gaunerei as Ebb's subconcious pushed him out of her mind, the former Grand Master catching her own thoughts, bringing herself to the reality of where she currently laid in bed. She snapped up, sitting up in bed, feeling a panic and fear leave her lips as she gasped for a breath as though she had been underwater for an uncomfortable long time.

Ebberla pinched herself, feeling her pain, and taking a moment to think her own thoughts instead of the scripted world she was just pulled through. She gripped her sheets and looked to see Gaunerei was beside her. The Force flowed through her, locking up and burying the memories of her nightmares until she would fall asleep again. Quickly, the Corellian looked for something to fidget with to release the anxiety of sleep and her past.

 

[TweedPawn]

Gaunerei knew he only had seconds to escape from the vacuum. He reached out to his own tether, giving it a solid tug to simulate his brain into the sensation of falling. One that would help wake him up.

"Crap!" he panted as he also woke up. He gave his body a good shake, making sure that everything was awake and fully functioning. He felt Ebberla trying to draw the Force into herself, and he instantly knew why.

"Nope!" He pounced on her, pinning her to the bed.

"You are not going to fall back asleep! Not This time! I won't let you!" He barked. His hands griped her wrists.

"I'll wake you up so fast. I'll shove every memory back in your mind until you scream! But we are going to have a nice little chat about what you're burying!" He growled. He was still panting. His heart still pounded. He was used to this sort of thing, but it was easier without a pair of lungs attached to it.

 

[GABA]

Ebb was certainly the individual who didn't like being told what to do, nor was she one who liked to be pounced or confronted about her own personal matters. He had growled at her and she gritted her teeth right back at him, her stare so sharp it could pierce the hid of a rancor.

"It is none of your business." she hissed, "When I have time, I will deal with them then!" she wiggled, trying to get of his pin, the Force quickly whirled around her, giving her an extra boost of strength to throw him off of her and onto the floor. Ebb quickly moved, almost as swiftly as she did in combat, landing on her feet on the floor beside him.

"Stay out of my head, you wouldn't want me to stir up what is lurking in your own." she threatened.

 

[TweedPawn]

"ow..." Gaunerei winced as he landed on his tailbone. She was a lot more quick than he imaged her to be. Well, he was quicker than he was. He was going to have to start laying off the Bantha burgers. Seeing Ebberla standing over him was a pretty typical day for him, at least at the Jedi. Now she was much more angry, and a lot more sithy stabby-stabby.

"Yes, how about all the time in the universe eh? Why not just one Universe? Why not all the time in infinite universes to bury that issue niiiiice and deep? I wonder what you'll turn into? A hawk? A fox? Sure, I can help you there lady." He spat. His own frustration getting the better at him. Why couldn't she see that he was tryign to help her?

 

[GABA]

"At least if I was a fox or a hawk, I can devour pesky, nosy rabbits who invade my thoughts." Ebberla snapped; she shook with a quick shiver and grabbed her robe, quickly covering herself. She scowled at him for a long time, letting the room fall silent, the echos of the dark side could be heard outside her door in the halls of the temple.

"If I needed help or wanted to talk, then I would ask or speak, but now is not the time, nor do I wish to be bothered with sentimental offerings." she explained, "My memories are full of death and hardship, its only natural for me to dream of such; and until this war is over, it only seems appropriate." there was a pain in her tone that only would be picked up by those who shared it. She walked away from Gaunerei and hopped onto her bed, sitting with her legs crossed and her eyes closed as she prepared to meditate.

"In the meantime..." she spoke softly, "I just won't sleep, I can accomplish the rest I need through meditation, since my mind refuses to let me rest." she explained to the rabbit.

 

[TweedPawn]

"And you think mine aren't?" He replied gently. He rubbed the sore spot he landed on. He sat back on the bed. He started fiddling with illusions to create smoke with his fingertips. He studied it for a moment. His mind also playing back memories he wanted to forget.

"But the war's never over, is it? Not really. No matter what timeline I looked at, what Universe I opened. It was never over...But they all converge...".He used the smoke to recreate the nodes and webs that Ebberla had seen in Gaunerei's mind before. There was one node, smothered in dark clouds and ash. And all of the lines converged to it.

"This is where we are. Right here. This is where I can no longer see into the future, even when I was immortal. How many seers do we have in this age? Maybe one? Two? In the past, even those who were deaf to the Force could hear it through dreams. But not anymore."

He made the illusion vanish.

"So what does it mean? Who knows? Maybe it's my death. The galaxy gets eaten by a black hole. A Cyborg alien race kills us all. Or we all turn to stone. But I know one thing. There's been no better time to enjoy what's left. To face your past. To resolve."

remember that one timeline where you kill us all? That was hilarious!

"I just want to enjoy and share, what could be my final days. With a person that will do the same with me."

 

[GABA]

Ebb continued to scowl at him with a loop-sided frown, eventually quirking an eyebrow to his last statement as she had listened to him speak.

"Don't be so mellow-dramatic. Final Days? Who do you have a death wish with?" she waved her hand at him, dismissing his dark thoughts, "Just because the future is clouded doesn't mean out days are limited. The future is always changing, perhaps its a way of telling you to stop watching and live in the present, don't worry about tomorrow until it comes present." Ebberla explained feeling a touch of her Jedi self return, but she was quick to push it away, jumping onto the defense.

"Besides, I don't know why you're in such a big worry about what I dream about at night, they're just dreams, nothing more, not realities, not fantasy, just my brain trying to reason." the Corellian gave a shrug as though she was physically brushing off the remnants of what her mind had concocted just moments earlier while she had slept.

"I don't need anyone to worry of me, I can take care of myself, I've always had." Ebb spat, a distaste bubbled in her throat as she wanted to continue on about when she allowed for others to care for her and the betrayal that came with it. "So when I say, I'll deal with it later, I will deal with it later." she stated, emphasizing she was no longer interested in the topic.

 

[TweedPawn]

That was that, wasn't it? Ebberla Daw closed herself off again. She spoke like a mortal who knew no mastery over herself. Gaunerei fell back on the bed next to her. He waves his hand in front of him, hoping to amuse himself in the illusions he could conjure. In the wisps, rabbits danced, word bubbles appeared, and strange sentients Ebberla would never see in her lifetime frolicked.

"My people are a very social type. We make families outside of our blood. We bond over our struggle for survival. I suppose, it was a bit presumptuous that a coriellian would be similar. I had hoped..." He sighed. If she refused to open to him, he would open to her.

"I had hoped that you would understand me. I was once a chieftain, then I became a trapped god. I watched the Snamreg, my people live and die under the madness of the hound. My champions have been few. Yet, I pushed my own people away. For who of them could ever follow my path?"

"You say to live without knowing the future. It's a hard habit to get into, but I'll adjust. I just want-" he reached out to her hand. He didn't finish his statement. She knew. She knew that he longed for understanding. He desired closeness. Had Ebberla gone into his own mind, she would have seen a leader who carried out struggles darker than hers. She had seen the old blood altar, the sould of the sacrificed that were trapped there. Gaunerei had been unable to save them in time.

And she still didn't know so much more. The Boar tribe that went mad and had to be driven to the cliff edge into genocide. The Belle Dame that ate the hearts of children to replace the infant she lost. Her own heart long corrupted by a crystal shard she had found after Gaunerei destroyed Iya's lightsaber. Cults of Death, Cults of Shadow, Cults of Blood that danced at the edges of civilization, threatening to revive the Hound. Gaunerei disposed of them all with swift vengeance and cunning.

Lurking in the sadness and anger
The only ones who know your true heart are the forest spirits
Only the spirits, only the spirits...

He had been condemned to loneliness, and he would be damned if Ebberla fell to that as well. Even if that meant that she kept her secrets. Who was he to judge?

He started to softly hum, his fingers gently stroking her back. If that was all she wanted, that would be what he gave her.

 

[GABA]

Ebb didn't look at Gaun as he fell on the bed beside her, she kept her focus forward, her thoughts slowly passing in her mind, Gaun's voice seemed like miles away even though she heard him as clear as a whisper in her ear.

"No, Corellians like to be independent, opportunistic, rocket-fueled loners..." she told him, feeling him reach for her hand. Ebb didn't flinch, she didn't pull away, in all honesty, she felt nothing as her walls strengthened to keep her feelings and emotions at bay. She fell silent again, listening to Gaun hum, feeling his fingers along her back.

"But it seems fitting...the moon sits alone in the evening sky, the stars are all so far away and those who watch her have to do it from afar. Not necessarily a choice, its what it has to be." she spoke, she knew what Gaunerei was trying to do, he knew not only her strengths, but her weaknesses too. He knew her more than she had realized. Though the Corellian was tired of the pain, she didn't want to hurt, nor did she want to drag him into the pain also.

Ebb fell back on the bed also, turning her head to look at him and letting her hair fall along her cheek bones. "What you want, I may not have." she told him.

 

[TweedPawn]

"There are places where the rabbit fell in love with the moon. He leaped from the ground and into the sky to join with her and keep her company. When Meadowheart wrote his poetry, I thought of his strange writings as a symptom of going mad from his visions. Now I know he was just kind. " When Ebberla laid back, she managed to pin his arm under her.

She was in so much pain, and Gaunerei began to wonder if she would repeat the mistakes his made. She probably would. Yet, he would still be enthralled by her. She looked at him. Her eyes studying him.

"I want to be mortal. In all meanings of the word. I want to feel closeness to others, a family to care for, and to feel the sensations of being alive." He studied her. When he relaxed, the weight of his age pressed the air like humidity. Once more, but gently, he pressed against her. His hands touched her face softly.

"Your secret heart...belongs to the world...of the things that sigh in the dark...of the things that cry in the dark..." he hummed gently, his eyes never leaving the sight of her face. His skin was still tinted from the paint, as was hers. He leaned in, to feel her breath against his skin. He kept humming gently.

"if I can not help you, then can I help Vida?"

 

[GABA]

"Being mortal sounds generous. You don't have others groveling to you, placing you on a pedestal and worshiping you." Ebb looked away and smirked, "I always just wanted to be who I was, but no one seems to welcome it." she explained.

"And all I wanted was for Vida to live as normal as a life as possible, no scavenging for food, no cold nights alone, giving her all the opportunity to have a childhood while in the midst of war. But its hard, especially all I ever known was life was a struggle." Ebberla paused feeling suddenly frightened and shocked, "By the Force you think I am a terrible mother?" she questioned him, a spark of anger ignited in her belly.

It was a thought that no mother in the galaxy wanted to hear or even think about, especially given Ebberla has only poor mothers to compare herself to in the end. She pushed him aside gently to look him in the eyes. The Force subtly moved around her, waiting for his response, sensing if he would lie to her or not. "Why does everyone think I would hurt Vida?"