Omen of Woe

[Noire]

Galtea. Outer Rim Territories.

Caden Ansgar had spent a fortnight largely in the confines of his personal living space in the Hidden Forest on Galtea. He had used the time mostly to recover from his injuries; but he had also meditated often, something he could never have seen himself doing so frequently just a few months ago, but now engaged in more than ever. He found that he actually had time to reflect on his life thus far and even ponder what he'd been taught were universal truths - and decide for himself if they were. The war being waged across the stars was still at the forefront of his mind. He wanted nothing more than to be aiding in the effort against the Imperium, and he was beginning to become impatient. The more time he spent doing nothing at all is time that could be spent helping save the galaxy before there was nothing left to save. It was more than just a young man craving battle, or thrills, it was what he believed in. He also was beginning to feel the need to become stronger again; but only so he could help those who couldn't help themselves. Growing in power would only be act of selflessness, as the Jedi taught. He'd promised himself that. But despite this, he couldn't help but to become rather accustomed and even begin to enjoy his rather idyllic life on Galtea. It was relatively calm and had allowed for him to become more deeply attuned to the Force. Master Gwenelda's people never bothered him anymore either, having ceased stopping by once he had fully recovered. So he'd been left to his own devices, and he liked it.

Caden was currently sitting in the center of his small room with his legs crossed and his eyes closed. But his meditation session was coming to a close. There was a presence nearby. An unwanted presence. Caden stirred from his trance; slightly confused. But then his eyes snapped open and he unknowingly clenched his fists as he stood. Dusting off his Jedi robes as he rose to his full height, Caden glanced at his lightsaber, which lie on his sleeping mat, to ensure that it was nearby. He wasn't taking any chances this time around. He hadn't seen Nakoma or Fang in a while, nor any of the other Padawans. But there was one Padawan Caden had made a note of to never interact with again. Kai. He had attacked Caden and attempted to kill him just two weeks ago. He'd nearly succeeded. And now Caden could sense his presence drawing nearer and nearer. He didn't know what to expect, but he was prepared for the worst. He coughed to clear his throat and stepped forward and out of his tent; folding his arms as he did so. He looked about, seeing no sign of the other Padawan, but didn't step back in. He closed his eyes for just a moment and inhaled deeply to center himself. He wouldn't do anything rash or act out of anger. Or spite. If Kai was in fact near, he'd wait for him to reveal himself before he made a move of his own. Then he'd deal with the situation from there.

 

[TwoSidedHeart]

His hair had grown quite a bit since arriving on Abra. It was no longer the rather well kept style it had been as a padawan living within the enclave but instead had grown into something of a mess around his head. Not exactly long but any means but just messy, sort of shaggy black... nest. It was a nice change. Of course alot of things had changed since they had come to this hidden away planet, one of them being Kais relationships with those who had accompanied Nakoma to Galtea. They had become strained to almost breaking point due to Kais inability to keep his emotions fully in check. He had also been changing. He was becoming less and less concerned with the well being of others and how they felt towards him. He just couldnt be bothered with it. Of course, this was a sort of defense mechanism so that he did not dwell on his regrets and anxieties. Keeping his concentration here and now where it belonged rather than trapped in the past.

He had been training after he had awoken from his trip to the cave, back in his tent with Rhoda fussing about as usual. He was focusing on his body yet again rather than the Force. But for some reason, he could feel the Force more easily now. The life on the planet even within the trees. It was such a strange sensation but he couldnt understand why it had suddenly become so potent. Perhaps the cave had effected him in more ways than just mentally. The boy wasnt certain. On this day he was training his endurance through bouts of sprinting through the forests, his aim to evade Rhoda who had in fact been created for combat, speed and precision. Not an easy task to evade one such as her. He wore his sleeveless training robe with loose fitting pants and his travelling boots. His weapons were strapped to his belt around his waist and his right bicep was bandaged due to an inury suffered when Rhoda had broken through his defenses during one of their training sessions.

He had not realized he was so close to Caden until it was too late to turn back and as he stopped to take in the males camp not far from his position, Rhoda took the initiative and sprang from above, diving down and slashing with the training saber she held towards his head. Rolling out of the reach of the droid, he sprang up onto his feet and grabbed for one of his own sabers but was forced to dodge another slash from the droid. He was swiftly pushed further and further backwards, towards the males camp. Before he knew it, Kai was being knocked onto his ass a few feet in front of Caden with Rhoda chuckling and deactivating her weapon before filing it away and addressing Caden.

"I see you have recovered for the most part from your injuries, Padawan Ansgar. I trust you have learnt well from them. A disadvantage of sentience is being so... weak in structure yet the advantage is being able to grow stronger from the pain you suffer from."

"Shut up Rhoda. Stop acting like you envy him when we both know you're more than happy with your current state."

"How true."

Kai chuckled and stood up, brushing himself off and turning to face Caden. There was not a hint of guilt showing on him but there was no light in his eyes. He looked the other male over slowly before speaking once more, his tone seeming to be... reluctant. As if he was only interacting with the male because he had to.

"How are you, Caden?"

 

[Noire]

Caden was still somewhat shrouded in the shadow of his tent and didn't bother to step out of it as Kai stood up and dusted himself off. He almost didn't bother to answer what sounded to be a forced question either. He simply didn't feel as if he had the time for it. Furthermore, he was sure that the both of them had better things to do than attempt to talk as if there wasn't problems that had yet to be solved between them. As if Kai hadn't tried in earnest to murder Caden only two weeks earlier. But it wasn't the Jedi way to hold grudges, and Caden knew this. That didn't mean he still couldn't dislike the other Padawan though. And although Caden didn't feel like being bothered with whatever personal demons Kai had yet to solve, he had a burning question of his own. One that he had been curious about since the "cave incident". This was his chance to find an answer. He eyed the droid companion Kai had brought along with him briefly, then returned his gaze to the other padawan. He would keep his eyes on Kai; he didn't trust him. He'd found out the hard way that he was more than dangerous.

"I'm alive." Caden said, finally. "No thanks to you. But I've been wondering, Kai. Who was it that you thought I was? When you were trying to kill me, I mean."

 

[TwoSidedHeart]

So Caden was still annoyed at him. Great. Couldnt they just move on with their lives. It wasn't as though he had actually MANAGED to kill his fellow padawan as the other seemed to feel the need to point out. Kai had just been thinking of turning and leaving when the other spoke and frowned towards him, his eyes shifting to the tent behind the male, then to a nearby tree and finally to some kind of small birdlike creature flying overhead. Everywhere but Caden in other words. He didn't particularly WANT to explain to the other why had had gone off hi nuts and entered full kick ass mode. But then, what was the point in not telling him? It wasn't as though he hadn't just proven which of them would win in a fight and considering Caden didn't look fully recovered whereas Kai was pretty much back in the game, it should be even more obvious. The way the dark skinned male eyed him however slightly unnerved him. He seemed to view him as a threat more than anything and that wasn't the best situation all things considered. After all, that meant that not only did his own master feel wary of him, two of the other Jedi with them did as well. Hardly an ideal situation.

With a long, drawn out sigh which was then followed by a yawn, Kai looked the other male directly in the eyes, his purple hues showing no remorse despite how he actually did feel about it somewhere deep down. His tone seemed to echo this.

"I could see a cloaked figure. He was slightly taller than you with the eyes of either a Sith or someone deeply immersed in the thrall of the dark side. He repeatedly taunted me with words among other things. And..."

He stopped short and bit his lip. He wasn't going to tell the other male about his mother. That wasn't the part that involved him in the first place so it was irreverent, at least where Ansgar was concerned. After a moment, he continued with a careless tone this time.

"It doesnt matter. All that matters is that is in the past and we can move on, right?"

 

[Noire]

"You think you saw a Sith?" Caden asked; even slightly shaking his head in disbelief. He stared doubtfully at Kai for another moment before moving outside of the shadow of his tent and into the sunlight. Caden watched as an animal leaped from branch to branch above them as he still pondered over what his fellow padawan had told him.The name itself ran through Caden's mind and brought forth a host of emotions, namely hatred. But something about the admission seemed more than off to Caden. It wasn't that he flat out didn't believe Kai but he was more than skeptical of him. If he had in fact seen a Sith, that would bring up several questions that demanded an answer. Most importantly, when had Kai interacted with the Sith in his past? He would have had to, right? Caden's own vision had been of his father, someone he'd interacted with in reality, before going into the cave. Someone that had had a negative impact on his life and someone he needed to face before he could a move forward. But if Kai had in fact seen a Sith, what could it mean? Kai's last statement brought Caden out of his thoughts and back to the present.

"You've had interaction with the them then? If your past, I mean." Caden asked.
"And no, we can't leave this in the past. Whoever you saw could represent a lot of things. Dangerous things. If it was a premonition, the Sith might know where we are. It could be a warning. And what was it that he used to taunt you? Must've been something powerful," Caden said; watching Kai's expression closely. He wasn't one to snoop around in another's past, but the small chance that there might've been something in Kai's worth dealing with here and now was all the incentive Caden needed to attempt to dig further. And plus, it wasn't as if he still had the same general respect for the other Padawan any longer. They were more or less...rivals in Caden's eyes. Not friends, but not quite enemies yet either.

 

[TwoSidedHeart]

"That is none of your concern."

The truth was Kai didnt know if he had interacted with the Sith in the past. He had recently come to realise that some of his memories were locked away somehow and seemed to resurface in times of extreme stress or emotional trauma. It was possible he had interacted with a Sith in the past but aside from when his mother was alive, there were very few times in the past where he spent much time outside of a Jedi controlled area. But there was a possibility he had in fact come across one in his time and somehow repressed the memory. But, his true fear was that this was a premonition of the future like his fellow mentioned, but not one that involved a Sith from across the Galaxy. No, he believed it was a look into his own future. Which terrified him. His curiosity of the Sith ways was just that, curiosity. After seeing what this male or himself was capable of, both in terms of manipulation and the general aura around him, it was not a thought he wanted to entertain. Aware that Caden was studying him intensely, Kai did not show any change in his attitude on the outside. It was something he was rather good at all things considered.

When Caden finished his speech, Kai stared at him for several long moments in complete silence. So this wasn't a forgive and forget situation huh? Not that he expected it to be in all honesty but then it was always worth checking. He contemplated the others words before replying. He was liking Caden less and less as time went on. When they arrived, he had believed they could have been friends, but that seemed to be a route closed to him now.

"You're theories are most likely incorrect. If the Sith knew where we were, we would have been made aware of it already. It is not as though we pose a great threat to them and if anything, they would focus on finding Knights and Masters. Unless you're unaware, Nakoma and Fang are offworld for some reason. As for what he taunted me with, again, that does not concern you."

 

[Noire]

Kai was right, it wasn't any of Caden's business what the apparition taunted him with, Caden wouldn't deny that, but he was still curious nevertheless. It was something that Kai just wasn't admitting. Something personal, maybe. That could explain why he was so reluctant and defensive about the situation. Caden weighed his options carefully. He could press the subject further and demand an answer, which probably wouldn't work, or he could try something that would've been more "Jedi" of him to do. He walked over to a tree stump and sat down, calling his lightsaber to his hand as he did so. He studied the weapon carefully; tracing his fingers alongside the hilt and weighing it in his hands. He looked up at the other Padawan and then to the droid.

"My vision was of my father." Caden said.
"My adoptive father." He admitted. It was something he immediately regretted even speaking on in the first place. He felt like a hypocrite. He frowned as he replayed the words of the apparition in his head over and over again. His rage began to slowly bubble to the surface and he could feel his anger surging through his veins once more.

"He only "adopted" me because he thought I was strong for a boy. I had been surviving on Nar Shaddaa by myself as a kid and he admired that. My real parents," Caden paused for a moment; his voice trailing off into silence. He shook his head and exhaled slowly. His real parents weren't something he thought about often; he preferred to think about his future. But when he did, it always brought evoked powerful emotions and memories to the surface. But he wouldn't allow for Kai to see any emotion on his face. So he remained stoic, his gaze once more focused on his lightsaber. He did, although subconsciously, briefly touch the pendant around his neck.

"My parents were killed by some Cartel mercs. I'm not looking for any sympathy, trust me, but I had it rough as a kid. But my father didn't allow me to have it easy life once he picked me up off the streets. He made it harder. Every. Single. Day. He taught me power and strength were the most important things any man could possess. And although I was able to defeat my vision of him in the cave...I still believe it. And as a Jedi, I know that I should have already wiped that from my mind. But it's simply a...universal truth. My vision was of the past, I know that for a fact, but it's not of my future. I decide my own future. That's how I was able to defeat it. Whatever the hell it was. But, you weren't able to defeat it. And if you can't overcome whatever it is on the battlefield for instance, or even off of it, you're putting your life and everyone else's in jeopardy. At risk. That's why I'm asking you. What is it of your past Kai? Or your future?"

 

[TwoSidedHeart]

"You believe Im weak because of this..."

Kai looked at the other male and frowned at this, his thoughts racing for several moments. He had stood with his arms crossed throughout the other males tale, taking in each aspect with admitted interest in the subject. Rhoda meanwhile was off somewhere doing something away from the Jedi. Coming to a conclusion, Kai decided it was his turn to divulge information to the other male. it was only fair after all for him to tell Caden what had happened in the cave after his fellows story. He would however leave his mother out of this. The memory of her was filled with both joyous memories and sad once and was the constant source of his nightmares lately. Her death had scared him and he just couldnt seem to move past this despite counseling from several older Jedi.

Moving toward Caden, he dropped into a cross legged position on the ground in front of the other male, letting his body get used to the position before looking at the other male and speaking. His tone seemed somewhat reluctant, but he pressed on through his own tale regardless.

"I believe it was of the future. Its no secret among us that I stray dangerously close to the darkside in the first place, which wasn't helped by... events in my past. The reason I believe that it was me however was the voice. At the time it seemed so familiar yet it seemed as though a complete stranger was addressing me. But it wasn't just that. He knew things, things that others do not. The familiarity, the consistent confidence in every word spoken... After thinking on it, I have realized that it was most likely an older version of myself. I dont know how this could have been possible as I have never shown much skill in premonitions and other visions of the future. I assume it was the caves work. But then, you're likely wondering what he did say to me. It is none of your business..."

Each word seemed to simulate a crack in his emotional defenses and by the time he trailed off there was clear emotion in his tone. Sadness. Fear. Regret even. He knew he did not want to let this other male in, to know the details of his own 'adventure' in the cave but he was caught in the moment. The words were just flowing out and would not stop until he had revealed all.

"He taunted the loneliness I feel each passing second of the day. Not in the sense that I am actually alone for I always had the Order. But... when I was 7 my mother died from a sickness that had been draining her for years, and I did not even know it. My grandparents took me in but they did not truly care for me. Always on the lookout for a way to rid themselves of their daughters problematic legacy. I was kept shut away until Ze'kyre arrived with promises of a better place. Yet like my mother, he is now beyond my reach. Even Nakoma seems to be drifting from me, in light of recent outbursts... this figure, my future self played on this with glee, repeatedly stated I wasn't good enough and then when he finally disappeared, left me with a statement that has haunted me."

Kai closed his eyes somewhat to compose himself. His tone had grown shaky and he realized this was the most vulnerable he had appeared to... well ANYONE in quite a long time. The fact he was letting Caden see this side of him was infuriating and somewhat humiliating. He looked down, away from the gaze of his fellow, letting the statement of the 'Cloaked Figure' leave his lips as the last statement he would make regarding this tale.

"Now that you've let the darkness inside little padawan, it is never going to come out."

 

[Noire]

The dark side.

That phrase alone always carried such weight, such resonance, that it was enough to make Caden hesitate. It was enough to make any Jedi hesitate. Caden had, on numerous occasions, given much thought to the nature of the dark side. Especially the supposed power that the Sith claimed it had over the light side of the Force. He didn't believe in it. Or maybe he didn't believe in their way of using it, which was for destruction and chaos. If one was to make use of their more aggressive emotions to achieve a goal, why not make that goal one that would better the galaxy? Bring peace and put an end to the war? Kai admitted that he believed the premonition was of his future. The other Padawan suspected that the dark-sider he saw in his vision was an older version of himself. That was concerning. Caden turned his head and looked at Kai directly, setting his lightsaber down on the ground before he spoke.

"Not weak. But troubled. We all are. I've never had a premonition or a vision before either. It was the caves, trust me. You're about as likely as I am to turn to the dark side. Turning is more than just not having a firm grip on your emotions, in my opinion. Turning represents a corruption not only of the mind, but of the heart, body, and the soul. You're far from that. You should just watch yourself, Kai. Control yourself. The past is past. You haven't had an easy one, but it shouldn't control your life. But if you let what you've seen dictate and become your future...the Jedi will be your enemies. I can't promise that if you become a Sith I'll show you any compassion. I won't hold back like I did in the caves." Caden said.

He hadn't intended to give advice to the other Padawan, but in the same breath, he wouldn't want to see any of his fellow Jedi become Sith and supplement the armies of the Imperium. And they had something in common, as well. Caden's biological parents were dead and Kai's were too. But Caden was curious about one thing, what about the boy's father? What had happened to him?

 

[TwoSidedHeart]

Kai looked at the other male as he spoke with raised eyebrows, surprise clear on his face. He had not expected the other male to sound so... wise when speaking to him about this which once again proved how far behind in the way of the Jedi Kai actually was. Of course, it was expected that the older male showed a greater sense of maturity and connection to the Jedi order. There was a reason after all, that Nakoma seemed to favor Caden more than himself in the young Naboo natives eyes. And then there was the... threat? That Caden would show him no compassion if he fell to the darkside. And if that was Cadens opinion... it suddenly occurred to him that there were several other Jedi on the planet with him. Even if he WERE planning to turn to the darkside, doing it on Galtea would not be the most thought out plan in the first place. He thought on his elders words for a few moments, letting them sink in before nodding and responding.

"I will try to better myself and control my emotions better."

If not for myself then for my mother... the words remained unspoken but they rang out in his mind clearly. Even to this day, he found it incredibly difficult to move on from the pain of his mothers death. And then there was the troubling blockings of memories within himself that he really felt he should address with someone, but not Caden. While he could respect the other male to a point and acknowledge his 'wisdom', he did not see the boy as a friend. Or an enemy. Just a lingering presence. And a rival. Looking up into Cadens eyes, he noticed something in them. An unasked question? Without hesitation he spoke, his tone returning to the less emotional and more calm one he usually incorporated.

"There's something else you wish to know...?"

 

[Noire]

"I will try to better myself and control my emotions better." There was a pause. Caden took that as a cue to mean that their little "chat" was over and done with. He nodded towards Kai and stood up; dusting off his robes. He called his lightsaber to his hand and grasped it firmly as it followed his command. He had already begun his short walk back towards his living quarters when Kai asked his last question. Intuitively. But the other Padawan was right. Caden did have one final question to ask. His only hope was it didn't stir up any more unpleasant memories in the other Padawan.

"You said your mother passed away, and then your grandparents took you in, and then the Jedi. But what of your father?" Caden asked.

"Was he never around?"

 

[TwoSidedHeart]

Kai stood up as Caden moved away, believing the other male was going to leave his own inquiry unanswered. But as he stood and prepared to find Rhoda, the other male spoke, making him freeze up. His father? The correct answer to that would be WHAT father? After his birth his mother had been with several men but she had claimed each time that they were his father. He did not know if any of them in fact were, nor did he know where the male was now. Clenching his fists, he released a long breath before looking over his shoulder at the other male. This time his tone seemed empty although his body language revealed some amount of anger within it.

"I don't have a father. Ill be going now."

He headed off in the direction he had came, assuming Rhoda would catch up to him. His pace was slow, almost casual as he moved through the trees, his thoughts revolving around the conversation, however short it had been, with Caden. It had revealed quite a few things about the other male he hadn't picked up on before which troubled him. He was usually so good at reading people. One thing was clear to him however. He needed to change. Be it his attitude or how he related to his past. Something needed to change if he was to stay on the path of becoming a Jedi.