Star Wars: Episode I - The Chosen One

Brandon Rhea

Brandon Rhea

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From the second saga...
Star_Wars_Episode_I_The_Chosen_One.png



thechosenonebackcover.png

Cover art by Victor Dorantes, 2009. See below for full sourcing.
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Star Wars: Episode I - The Chosen One is an Alternative Star Wars Saga novel written by me that re-imagines the films Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace and Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. Currently incomplete, the novel has been in the production process since November 2007, and is currently being released chapter-by-chapter as each one is finished on Star Wars Fanon, TheStarWarsRP.Com and TheForce.Net. Although nearly twenty chapters had been written, I went back to the drawing board and have been rewriting this for a couple of months now.

The novel is set during the Invasion of Utapau, based on the canonical Invasion of Naboo, and deals with the discovery of Annikin Skywalker and the beginning of his time in the Jedi Order. Although Annikin does not believe he will fulfill the Prophecy of the Chosen One as he is told he will, he is surrounded by those that do believe in the prophecy, as well as those who do not. The novel also focuses on a mystery surrounding the Mandalorian Clans, the possible return of the Sith Lords and the beginning of the Clone Wars.

Table of contents
These chapters will not actually be posted here on SWRP. Instead, they are being posted as .PDF documents in eBook form. This was done specifically for SWF to avoid it being placed under the GFDL copyright licensing, which says that anyone can redistribute it without your permission. I didn't want that, hence the .PDFs. If you have any issues opening the documents, I would be happy to send the text to you.

One thing you will need to note is that there have been some name changes in here. Utapau, the planet that is given the most focus here, is basically the canon Naboo with a different name. I changed the name because the original name for Naboo was Utapau in the first few drafts of The Phantom Menace. I've also changed character names to things like Jar Binks, Annikin Skywalker and Mace Windy. The latter of the two are also based on original drafts of the first Star Wars movie. You'll also see a number of characters that appear or are mentioned, such as Veruna Arcadia, that are based off of canon counterparts (Veruna for the aforementioned character, for example).

Anyway, I will continue to update this thread with each chapter as the chapters are released. Please also use this thread to give me feedback. Feedback, critcism and all that good stuff is ALWAYS appreciated.

Special thanks
Although I did give thanks in the stuff before the prologue, I also want to thank Solus for continually serving as my editor, as well as Ols for also serving as an editor and a consultant. Finally, I want to thank all of the members of SWRP, because without you I never would have gotten to the point where I could do something like this.

Cover sourcing information
Character images from Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones; N-1 starfighters from Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace; Acclamator 1-class assault ship images from The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia; planetary background from the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA); all images edited into cover and text by Victor Dorantes.

Feedback
As mentioned earlier, please provide feedback in this thread. Be honest. I don't need you to sugar coat anything if you don't like it, but all I ask is that you be specific in your criticism, cite certain parts you don't like, etc. I will say, though, that I'm not looking for feedback on spelling and stuff like that.
 
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Storm

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From what I read some time ago, it's pretty good. Although I'll have to read up on the newer ones.

Ataru given it his verdict, yet?
 
Johnnysaurus Rex

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Brandon Rhea said:
Psh, they're biased trash anyway. :p
Click to expand...

How dare you! I find their reviews to be direct and thorough. Now my opinion was formed after I read that particular review, but let's not get caught up on the details. :CStern:
 
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Wing

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These revisions were an excellent idea. I liked how you used Ussej in the prologue section of The Chosen One. The settings descriptions were very well done, and I like how the Neimoidian species was redone. Great work!
 
Brandon Rhea

Brandon Rhea

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Maverick said:
These revisions were an excellent idea. I liked how you used Ussej in the prologue section of The Chosen One. The settings descriptions were very well done, and I like how the Neimoidian species was redone. Great work!
Click to expand...

Yeah, I liked how Ashlan Four turned out. I was a little hesitant of doing that at first, since the Whills are something that have always been big in my storyline but have never been shown up until now, but I think it came out rather well. I do also like the angle I took with the Neimoidians, with them being slavers. That said, I will give credit where credit is due and say that I got the idea after watching MagnoliaFan's Balance of the Force, where the taxation of trade routes as the basis of the invasion was changed to a slavery issue.

The difference, though, is that while Balance of the Force seems to allude that it's slavery throughout the Republic, I changed it to slavery being used by Republic corporations outside of Republic territory. The idea of slavery still existing in the Republic until only shortly before Episode I kind of irked me, so I steered clear of that.
 
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Captain Awesome

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!!!!

We totally need a Sith academy on Dathomir! Just as soon as we get Sith'd.
 
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Captain Awesome

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In your pdf, you mentioned an abandoned Sith Academy on Dathomir.

Beast!
 
Brandon Rhea

Brandon Rhea

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I'm aware of that, but your comment makes no sense.
 
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Ser Gregor

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So, for the prologue. Aside from the choppy (for lack of a better term) word use in a paragraph or two, I enjoyed it. Regardless of my jabs at Jesus Patrick Sebastian Bach, I quite like the character (partly because of crazy blue eyed crack addict, but it's a genuinely interesting character), and I'm happy to see you weave him in to a story set roughly 3,000 years after his 'death'.

On to the specifics: I enjoyed the ending more than the beginning. I personally felt that it had a little of a jarring start, with your repetition of certain words a little excessively in the beginning paragraphs.

It quickly becomes quite fun to read, seeing little E.T. observing the Battle of Yavin as it plays out Canon wise, and then going on to how what we observe is objective (a coy way to insert your AltSaga in to EU canon) and jumping in to the awesomeness of the Witches of Dathomir, and the fateful crowning of Darth Sidious as Dark Lord of the Sith.

All in all 7.75/10 and I look forward to Chapter 1 (when I get to it).
 
Brandon Rhea

Brandon Rhea

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Thanks for your feedback. Some of it has been added into the Reception section of my current revision of the TCO article. Can you, however, give me some examples of where you felt words were repetitive? Also, in regards to crowing of the Dark Lord, there is nothing in the text to suggest that this is Darth Sidious. ;)
 
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