Ask The Burden Of Power

[Emryc Thorne]

Emryc wasn’t surprised when she broke away from the gaze. He had a tendency to make others feel as if he were unraveling them simply by looking their way. While it was intentional at times, this was not one of them. He kept looking in her direction, her words lingering between them for a moment before the winds carried them away. The bat creature made itself comfortable on one end of the summit, its eyes closed as it snoozed.

He instinctively reached for a cigarra and drew it out, but he paused. The air here was far too nice to pollute with smoke, and even he couldn’t bring himself to do it. The cigarra was neatly packed away and the box went back on his person.

“Why not?” Emryc asked bluntly, “I don’t think I provide you with any measure of comfort,” He mused aloud as he followed her line of sight to take in the lands. While it wasn’t in his nature to ask such questions, they had been around one another for several years by now. She had changed in that time and was far from the naive girl he had first met.

 

[Renfry]

Where once he would have easily felt a swirl of emotions within her at a question like that or a line of conversation like this, there was a level of control now that she didn't used to have. Whether it had come about during the conquest or before wasn't clear, but she suspected a bit of both.

She had a momentary, almost-melancholy smile as she looked out to the horizon. After a moment, she turned back to him, the moment's sadness fading as she looked at him and moved over toward him. She reached a hand up to his face and kissed him gently on the lips for a moment before pulling back.

I think we both know the answer to that question, she said, moving over and taking a seat at the edge of the cliff, her legs hanging over the edge of the sheer drop below. And yet, the question made her think all the same. She had told him some time ago what she wanted from him, he had told her even before that that he could never give it to her, and yet she was left asking herself why it was that she... loved him.

A part of her wasn't sure. He was infuriating and had done more things to anger her than probably anyone else she had ever met, but there was something undeniable about him that was like a magnet. He had an aura that drew her in and left her always wanting more.

She sat in silence for a long moment as she thought about this. Their relationship had been complicated from the start, and much of it had been based in the physical. She realized she didn't want a misunderstanding from her gesture.

I think we both know that I've loved you for some time, she said finally. She didn't say it in a manner that expected him to say it in return, nor did she let it linger for long.

Even when you showed up here and I was... furious, you... she looked for the right word for what she wanted to describe ...you were never disingenuous about who or what you were, she said.

That was a part of the answer to the question, wasn't it? She trusted him. Perhaps she was an utter fool for doing so, but she did. She liked who she had become because she knew him. He had changed her in many ways. She was drawn to him, and it wasn't just about the physical.

She took a deep breath and let it out. She had no idea if he'd speak or what he'd say, but she knew if she let her thoughts linger on what she'd just said for too long she'd begin to be uncomfortable.

Anyway, we should probably get back, she said, beginning to get back to her feet and pulling her hair back into a bunch to prepare to bind it up somewhat. She'd heard all the spitting and gagging on the flight here and decided she'd spare him that again.

I'm sure the senators are getting bored doing nothing while waiting for you to make your next move, she said with a smile.

 

[Emryc Thorne]

Emryc turned to look as Renfry closed the distance between them. She kissed against his lips, and he let her, but he didn’t quite return it. His thoughts were entirely elsewhere and focused on analyzing her. There was a strange sense of tranquility about her that he hadn’t seen there before. When she spoke next, his eyes widened just the slightest bit.

There was nothing but silence between them as she sat and gazed out and he stood next to her. The words were heavy, and they made the air heavy. In some ways he had known, but he never knew what to make of it. They had been intimate many times before, but he was as guarded as ever, and not always on purpose. There was no chaos within her mind that he could sense, just simple acceptance of their reality and her own feelings. Perhaps it was liberating for her to say it out loud.

Emryc exhaled as he moved over to sit down next to her. His own legs dangled over the edge, and he gazed out towards the vibrant sky and the birds in the distance. The air was comfortably warm, and it brushed against his hair and skin. Renfry moved to get up, but he interjected then, “In a bit,” He said as he glanced at her. The setting sun reflected brilliantly in his eyes, adding a tinge of fire to the normally placid silvers, “It’s nice up here.”

He gazed forward again, his left arm wrapping around Renfry’s waist to pull her closer to him. He didn’t pretend there was any true loving emotion behind the gesture, and she would know his heart was still locked away and beyond reach. But Emryc would remind her that he still valued her, and that alone was a rarity for him.

“I will come here to escape.”

 

[Renfry]

Theme​

She was thankful that he handled her confession with grace, not expecting him to return her words or sentiment. Even if he'd wanted to love her - a big "if" - she wasn't sure he was able to. He had told her that himself, and as she'd just recalled, he wasn't dishonest with her.

He stopped her as she rose, his eyes burning with the Dathomir sun as he looked at her, and she stopped. He moved to sit next to her, even pulling her closer to him. If he let her, she would rest her head against his shoulder. She wasn't a fool, and she knew that it wasn't "real" but it was nice nonetheless. Being valued was... something. Enough? Perhaps not, but that would remain to be seen. It was something.

It is, she agreed as she sat there, but she closed her eyes. She'd seen Dathomir a million times. She'd awoken to it day in and day out, she loved her world, but right then, she didn't want that. She let the moment wash over her, her mind going to a world that would never exist. A time and place where she could never go. She felt his body up against hers, the smell of his cologne, the feeling of his arm wrapped around her and whispering of things that would never be. She could feel it when he spoke and she still didn't open her eyes.

I'd like that, she said, content for all the galaxy to just exist in that moment.

 

[Emryc Thorne]

He wasn’t entirely sure how long they sat there in silence, but the skies had gotten dark and the stars emerged above. Emryc didn’t always need to meditate to find himself at peace. It was oddly comforting to simply sit there with his arm around her, her head against his shoulder. Silver gaze remained fixed ahead, his thoughts an entire galaxy away.

It was a while before he finally moved, gingerly easing his arm away from her. He didn’t get up, however. He laid onto his back, gazing up at the stars while resting his head on an arm. There was nothing but silence here, no sound of industry or machines. He could hear the cries of creatures in the distance, but there was nothing else.

“I envy you in ways,” He said quietly, staring up at the stars, “You have a place where you belong. You have those you call your kin,” Emryc never really gave thought to his own origins, but it did bother him at times to remember that there was really nothing to his name.

“I would have destroyed it all if you hadn’t arrived when you did,” He exhaled slowly, “It’s not me when I wear the armor.”

 

[Renfry]

Renfry didn't know how long the moment would last, but she didn't stir or move the entire time they sat there. When she finally felt him gently stir, she eased her head from his shoulder and sat up a bit straighter in order to extricate himself and lay back.

The nights on Dathomir could cause a chill, but they were typically quite temperate and this one was no different. She had spent countless nights out under the stars, and knew the creature that every one of the sounds around them belonged to.

She turned to look down at him as he spoke. She could sense there was a pain there, well covered and controlled in that way he controlled all things about himself, but a pain nonetheless. First he spoke of his envy for her, and she was surprised in a way. She'd always seen him as one who needed no one else, and it was sobering in a way to hear him say it. She found herself wishing she could fix the pain, but she knew she couldn't, so she listened.

As he spoke of what he would have done if she'd not arrived, a chill went down her spine. She knew it was true, and she knew he would have killed her just as easily. He truly scared her when he was in the armor, and it was likely he knew that already.

I guess it's a good thing I got there when I did, she said. And yet, she seldom truly heard him open up like this. More than usual she found herself not wanting to say the wrong thing. It was unusual from her tendency to simply blurt things out.

What's it like? she asked after a moment more. She knew what her own darker side was like, but it was still quite different from what she'd seen out of him. Her question was for both of their sakes. It was an opportunity for him to speak further and an opportunity for her to understand how best to interact with him when Raze was at the fore.

 

[Emryc Thorne]

What was it like? Emryc wasn’t sure he could truly describe it. It was exhilarating and empowering, and he relished every bit of it. Mentioning all of that wouldn’t prove worthwhile in this case. Renfry had seen what he could do, and she knew he enjoyed it. Emryc, whether he was Raze or not, never apologized for who he was. Others could accept him for it or get out of his way.

“Like sitting in the passenger seat of a speeder,” He said after a while, “You have a general idea of where it’s going, but you’re not driving it,” Emryc stared up at the stars for a moment, “And you trust that driver more than you trust yourself. Because that driver is focused strictly on getting where you need to, where you may rethink the routes and take detours.”

He would always welcome Raze, it was a part of him. Emryc grinned at the sky, “You love Emryc. You can never love Raze,” He said flatly. It was difficult for others to handle that side of him, and he was perfectly content with that. Emryc was silent as his thoughts took him back to the space station. There had been a time when Raze never existed. Raze was fashioned and created unnaturally, but he couldn’t imagine being any other way now.

 

[Renfry]

She listened to what he said, and she'd been correct. It was quite different from what she experienced. From the outside they appeared the same or at least similar, but they were monumentally different in so many ways. As she listened, it began to make sense to her why Raze was the way he was. There was a bit of understanding, even if only on the very surface.

And yet she knew him well enough to be able to tell he felt no regrets over it. He enjoyed it in its own way, and she wondered if it would eventually swallow him completely. She hoped not.

She didn't expect him to be so blunt with his final statement, but then, she wasn't really surprised. He didn't shy away from things like that, and he... was he smiling about it? She thought for a moment about what he said. Was it a true statement? There was a certain amount of draw she'd had in the early days to that darkness, but there was no denying that he scared her now. Seeing him fully unleashed was something that she didn't think she wanted to see again any time soon.

Maybe, she said finally. It wasn't an attempt to be cryptic or anything so dramatic, it was simply that she didn't know where she would end up going. She'd already changed so much over time, but she also knew he was likely correct.

I'm still here anyway, she said, and had no intention of going anywhere.

Though I'd like to avoid getting in his way... or your way... or whatever, she said. It felt odd, but it almost struck her as possession in its own form, except the origin was him. She realized it was both fascinating and terrifying.

 

[Emryc Thorne]

Silence hung in the air after Renfry spoke. He considered the words, and he replayed their strange dynamic in his mind. He thought back to the very first day they had met right on this planet. He was still coming out of his teen years, and she was hardly older. Those days seemed forever ago now, and he wondered how much he truly changed since.

“If you’re afraid of me, it’s because you’re supposed to be,” He said after a moment. He didn’t look down on fear - it was a survival instinct after all. Emryc closed his eyes briefly, focusing on the planet around him. It was vibrant and alive in many ways, and he could sense it in the Force. The energies here were different from the darkness that hung around the Force nexuses that he created, and yet they were just as powerful.

“You won’t get in my way anymore,” He declared. Perhaps she didn’t have that faith in herself, but he saw something different in her now. He at least knew there would be far less sitting on the fence and far more conviction.

 

[Renfry]

What he said gave her pause. She didn't want to be afraid of him, but then, he was him. He stated with confidence that she wouldn't get in his way anymore, and she realized he was probably right. She had changed a lot.

She turned to look out into the black void beneath her. The stars didn't cast a great deal of light below, and although she knew what was down there, it was chilling to look at it. The black void. There was probably some analogy in there somewhere about the "dark side" as the Sith called it. She still didn't really follow with the terms that were commonly used. She wondered how she'd come so far in the sect. In many ways, she barely felt like a Sith at all. Or perhaps she simply wasn't one in the mainstream.

She pulled her mind from that train of thought and back to where she was. Dathomir, heart of magick, and now her domain.

I noticed you picked up some new tricks from my grimoire. If you haven't copied or recorded it yet, you should, she said. What was hers was his. That was something she'd already decided upon and she didn't intend to alter that.

You seem to have a knack for magick, she said. He'd had a bizarre connection to Dathomir from the first day they'd met. Maybe later I can show you some more tricks while you do that thing you do, she said with a smirk, thinking back to the "first five pages" of her grimoire last time.

She was silent again after that before deciding to ask something that she'd wondered for a while.

What's your vision for the galaxy? she asked.

 

[Emryc Thorne]

Emryc rolled his eyes at her commentary about his knack for magick, “Always the tone of surprise. Maybe one day you’ll get it through your head that I don’t make things up as I go,” The delivery was deadpan in spite of the words being cutting, “I’ve known what I was before I ever returned to this planet so you'll do well to believe in the same things your people do,” He tilted his head to look at her, “I don’t do nifty tricks to validate me to myself,” Emryc thought back to the Clan Mothers that believed in it once they saw what he could do. His tricks were to bring others to heel as it was far less tedious than taking the time to wipe them out till he had obedience.

He was silent as she asked a rather profound question. Emryc almost considered not answering at all, but it did get him thinking. He closed his eyes for a moment, exhaling softly, “Ask the Sith Council questions like that and they will be happy to pontificate,” Emryc opened his eyes as he rose to sit up. The air grew cooler now, and the winds were chilly.

“Don’t worry about my grand vision,” He said with a grin, “I’ll let you know when you need to play a part in it,” He said simply as he rose to stand, dusting himself off. Emryc glanced over towards the giant bat creature.

“It appears,” He stated with a tone of utmost displeasure, “That our friend has left us.”

 

[Renfry]

That's... not how I meant it, she said, but she'd already put her foot in her mouth again. She had a knack for doing that, and she was starting to think she should shut up more often. She sighed quietly in a defeated manner.

He also didn't answer her next question, which was a tad bit disappointing, but he at least didn't appear to be annoyed about it, so that was a plus. She supposed she wasn't shocked, though she did note a point for clarifying.

Yes, and if I were half as loyal to them then I might ask them, she said, honestly. It was not something she would have said were they not alone because she knew how dangerous the words were, but they were true.

He got up and made to leave, before commenting on the disappearance of their ride. It wasn't shocking to her, after dark the creatures had a tendency to beginning hunting, but she wouldn't have left them up here without a means of getting down.

Wilds will be wild, she said with a groan as she pushed herself back to her feet. She moved over to the center of the mountain and knelt down, her hands blazing green as she spoke, her voice carried away on the night air.

She placed her hand against the ground and a green flash like a beacon fired into the air. It would be only a few moments before it arrived.

Well, when you need your witch-queen, you know where to find me, she said. There was a screech that pierced the night air and with a sudden gust of wind, their ride returned, and Renfry thought she could make out the faint smell of blood in the air. They'd interrupted the poor thing's dinner.

She climbed upon its back once again and waited for Emryc to do the same before taking off into the inky blackness, an almost more-unsettling trip than on the way here.