Ask These Are Your First Steps

[Sevrin Valtiere]

“Your eating habits are your own, padawan,” Sevrin reassured with a slightly raised brow. It was always difficult to tell when the boy was serious or joking, Sevrin’s own brand of humor quite dry.

“It has to be both,” Sevrin answered the boy, “You can’t blindly wait for the Force to tell you what to do with every swing, it has to be deliberate and practiced. However, you must trust in the Force to come when you call upon it,” He explained. It would take years for Shaw to perfect saber combat, but now was the time to commit a lot of the movements to muscle memory.

Sevrin drew up a stick of his own, meeting Shaw’s horizontal slash with a vertical one in a perpendicular hold. He swiped Shaw’s stick to the side, using the Force in his left hand to gently nudge Shaw’s exposed torso back with the Force, “That could have been a Sith’s lightning,” Sevrin explained, “Never leave yourself open. If your opponent bats your blade away, make yourself a smaller target. Drop into a crouch, move with your blade, pivot on your foot, anything to avoid leaving your torso or flank open to attack. Most Sith you meet will alternate blade swings and Force attacks.”

Sevrin circled around Shaw, waiting for him to engage again. They would be at this for the whole day, “Adaptability is more important than any form, but the form I will teach you..” Sevrin paused, gazing into his padawan’s eyes, “Was crafted by a man that used to be a Sith that was later redeemed to become one of the greatest Jedi that lived. It is called Form X,” Sevrin explained, “The original intent was to be aggressive, but what I will teach you from it are the adaptability and opportunistic methods of fighting. When combined with techniques such as sun djem, you will become a formidable combatant on the field.”

He knew the terms would mean nothing to Shaw, but that was precisely why Sevrin was teaching him. The rigorous training for the foundational steps continued. Each day Shaw had to do that same hike and use the Force to keep objects elevated. Each day Shaw had to do intense training exercises for dueling.

After a month of practicing the basic steps of Form X, they were back at it again with sticks. This time, Sevrin took the band off Shaw’s fingers.

“We will run through a duel today,” Sevrin said, holding up his own stick across his torso, “Remember to weave the Force into your fighting. If you perform admirably, I will teach you disarming techniques.”

@throwitintothefire

 

[Shaw Amaris]

In the days that followed Shaw would learn through trial and mostly error that learning how to wield a lightsaber was a process, not a destination. It wasn't an ability he would learn over a night, over a month, or even over a year. It would take years, possibly a lifetime, of dedication, discipline, and devotion. So in other words: practice, practice, practice. The three words his piano teacher had tried to convince him of back when his mother made him take lessons. Before both teacher and mother had given up on him because he couldn't focus. And it hadn't been for the same reason he couldn't focus when Prani tried to teach him to play the hallikset. Not the same reasons at all.

"Who was that?" Shaw asked, interest piqued. Whoever it was must have been pretty special for Master Valtiere to call him one of the greatest Jedi that ever lived. Form X was mostly a one handed form from what Shaw understood. It was all about adapting to the situation and your opponent's fighting style. Never overextending, always looking for an opening. Shaw intended to do some more reading on the form outside of practice hours with Master Valtiere. He didn't want to let the sephi down.

There were the stirrings of something like hero worship for Space Legolas within Shaw, though he would never admit it out loud because he felt like Master Valtiere probably wouldn't approve and would give him a lecture or something. "Is this the form you use?" He hadn't forgotten how adeptly the sephi had wielded his lightsaber (or sometimes sabers) on Kashyyyk and the battlefields of Corellia. That was what Shaw wanted to be able to do one day.

Gotta perform admirably... gotta perform admirably... was the summation of Shaw's thoughts as he stepped back from the sephi. He adopted one of the form's basic opening stances, like muscle memory to him now, with his right foot in the back and his lightsaber held vertically at his side. Never extend, always look for an opening... but Shaw's youth and eagerness to prove himself would get the better of him, and he would make the first move. Lunging at Master Valtiere in an upward slash sloping from right to left toward the sephi's center. @Sreeya

 

[Sevrin Valtiere]

“Corvo Vis,” Sevrin explained, “Was a leader of the Sith sometime after Andraste’s reign,” He said, “He was ruthless, but a very gifted duelist. He met his match when he dueled a Jedi named Shae Litorra. Over time, the two fell in love and Corvo Vis willingly came over to the Jedi on a path of redemption after Shae was with child. He was imprisoned for the first few years within the Jedi out of caution, but he showed great reform and was eventually allowed to stay among the Jedi and with his family. Together the two killed Sith Emperor Malon,” Sevrin said, “And their daughter went on to become a Grandmaster.”

The story was one that sounded like the stuff of epic fantasies, but it was all true, “Corvo Vis passed his invented saber form down through a holocron. While it was originally for the Sith, it has since been modified for any duelist. It is the form I use most frequently, though I am partial to dual wielding,” Sevrin answered.

As the swing from Shaw came, Sevrin used his stick (his right hand) to slash downwards in a counterclockwise fashion. This was an attempt to stop Shaw’s swing from completing with the goal being to have the boy’s elbow jutting up awkwardly stuck mid-swing. Unless Shaw adapted quickly, Sevrin would use that moment to tap Shaw’s elbow with his left hand to demonstrate a Sith offensive move into an unprotected limb.

@throwitintothefire

 

[Shaw Amaris]

Shaw had no idea who Andraste was either, but it wasn't the names or the faces of long passed legends he wouldn't recognized that mattered. It was the story itself, the way it made you feel. Faces or no faces, Shaw still felt like he could picture the story unfolding. "That sounds like a plot to a holomovie," Shaw said. Not sure if Master Valtiere had ever actually seen a holomovie, he elaborated, "It's beautiful."

Not really a word a guy like Shaw threw around either. He thought about the story Prani had told about her grandparents, about two lovers torn apart by circumstances and creed. It didn't always have to be that way. Love really could win out in the face of adversity. Litorra and Vis had overcome everything to be together. They hadn't allowed anything to come between them. Anything to stop them. It was inspiring really, and Shaw had never even met them. Separated by hundreds, maybe even thousands of years, but their story still lived on. He was glad Master Valtiere had chosen to share it and hoped it wouldn't be the last story he got to hear.

Stick batted away, Shaw was left standing there with his elbow exposed. He felt the tap of Master Valtiere's stick. So much for performing admirably! "Uhhh mind if I try again?" If the answer was yes, Shaw would resume his former opening position. This time he would remember what Master Valtiere said about weaving the force into his attacks, using two fingers to attempt to knock the sephi off balance. He would swing from right to left again, a basic horizontal attack. Nothing fancy because Shaw didn't know any fancy moves yet. @Sreeya

 

[Sevrin Valtiere]

Sevrin nodded as Shaw asked if he could try again. He was barely getting into stance when Shaw managed to surprise him by pushing him back with the Force. The Sephi stumbled back, bringing up his stick to catch the incoming swing with his makeshift weapon in a vertical position, “Good,” He called out as he pivoted on his right foot to spin into Shaw’s right flank. Because Sevrin’s stick was layered above Shaw’s, it positioned the padawan’s weapon harmlessly away from the Sephi and left Shaw’s right side exposed.

If Shaw didn’t adapt and quickly roll and move away in time, Sevrin’s left hand would come up to tap against Shaw’s ribs on his right side.

“Always keep moving, padawan,” Sevrin called out regardless of where the fight went, “Whether it’s to press the offense or play defense until you get an opening, always keep moving. Always make yourself a small target.”

@throwitintothefire

 

[Shaw Amaris]

Shaw gaped when Master Valtiere stumbled back. "I can't believe that actually worked!" the padawan grinned, surprised that any part of his attack had worked, even if the sephi had caught Shaw's stick without any trouble. Then Shaw remembered his master's words back on Corellia, amidst the distractions of the battle all around them. 'Be here, apprentice.'

If it hadn't been for that reminder, Shaw would have continued to be distracted by the small victory and been struck a second time. Instead he rolled forward, narrowly avoiding the tap against his ribs. It was a slow roll, and he kinda lost control of it when he felt a rock against his shoulder, but he popped back up a second later a few feet behind the sephi and to his right looking a little frazzled.

He hesitated, stick still in hand. "Is this a press the offense or play defense moment?" @Sreeya

 

[Sevrin Valtiere]

Sevrin was silently impressed when Shaw dropped into a roll, his would-be strike to the ribs hitting empty air. As the Padawan sprang back up, he would realize Sevrin spun with Shaw and was now facing him. Before Shaw finished his sentence, Sevrin already brought his stick down to conk Shaw over the head.

“Always have your guard up or the only thing you’re playing is dead,” Sevrin responded. Was that a joke from the Sephi? Shaw wouldn’t have a chance to appreciate it before the Sephi was on the move again, this time opening with using the Force on Shaw’s legs to make him topple backwards on the ground.

“You are not a sack of potatoes,” Sevrin explained as he practically glided around Shaw, “Even if your opponents yank or drop you, you can still attack. They take your legs out from beneath you? Force push or blind them with a flash of light. They push you back? Bear down and stand your ground with the Force to root yourself in place,” The Sephi explained.

After Shaw was back on his feet again, Sevrin would continue engaging him in combat. The fighting would go on for hours before the Sephi finally paused.

“Sun djem,” Sevrin explained, “Is a disarming trick. There are many ways of using it, but I use it with an unarmed hand because it always catches the opponent off guard. While you have your enemy in a saber lock, you can use your free hand to channel the Force and slam down into your opponent’s hilt to break it,” Sevrin said, “The strike can either break the hilt and render the saber temporarily useless or hurt their fingers and make them drop the weapon. The goal is always to disarm and hopefully cut the fight short.”

He pointed to a slab of rock nearby, “Concentrate the Force into your hand and strike the surface to crack it,” This was always one of the toughest techniques to master and Shaw would bruise his hand in the attempt, but it was the price of learning such a devastating trick. This could also be used for more powerful strikes in unarmed combat if Shaw mastered it.

@throwitintothefire

 

[Shaw Amaris]

Face to face with the sephi, Shaw just blinked and reached a hand up to rub the spot where Master Valtiere had bopped him on the head. It didn't really hurt, he was just trying to process. Master Valtiere had been facing the other way when he rolled, and then he was facing him. Now Shaw was lying on his back staring up at the sephi and the open sky. It had all happened so fast. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised. He had seen firsthand in the shadowlands of Kashyyyk just how swiftly the sephi could move when he wanted to. Space Legolas just kept getting cooler.

"Po-tay-toes!" Shaw couldn't help but laugh as he got up, thinking of a line from a famous fantasy holomovie. Kinda ironic coming from Space Legolas... "Boil em, mash em, stick em in aaa—" He cleared his throat. Now probably wasn't the best time to crack a joke. Master Valtiere was trying to teach him an important lesson. One he obviously needed to learn since he had just gotten knocked on his rear end. Again. It happened a lot.

Approaching the slab of rock that Master Valtiere had pointed out, Shaw would glance between it and the sephi and then back again. "You mean with my bare hand?" That was what he meant alright. Right. Free hand, so that meant his left since he was right handed. Taking a deep breath and attempting to channel the force into his left, non dominant hand, the padawan would bring it down in one fluid motion that ended with... nothing.

The slab sat there unharmed and unbroken while the padawan's left hand pulsed with severe pain. Back turned to the sephi, Shaw tried to act like it didn't hurt that bad. But when seconds stretched on and Shaw hadn't attempted it a second time he wasn't fooling anybody. He just liked to think he was. He didn't want Master Valtiere to think less of him.

"Just uhhh... catching my breath!" Was that a lie? Not really, right? Come on, you can do this... he told himself, taking another deep breath and striking the stone. Again—nothing. Shaw waved the injured hand around, as if loosening it up would somehow ease the pain. It didn't. He could feel the blood rushing to his fingers when he tried to move them.

Shaw glanced over his shoulder just long enough to catch a glimpse of the sephi's silver gaze. It was the push he needed to try again. Not giving himself another second to dwell on the pain, he would strike the rock again and again. Each blow in rapid succession, afraid he might lose the courage to try again if he allowed for even a second's hesitation. One failed attempt after another until Shaw had lost count, biting back tears when the stone slab finally split in half with a crack. @Sreeya

 

[Sevrin Valtiere]

“Well, I suppose at least I don’t feed you nothing but lebmas bread,” Sevrin muttered dryly with an unmoving expression. The delivery was nonchalant to where Shaw would almost miss that the Sephi did, in fact, get the references he was making. He may have been disciplined and aloof, but training countless padawans kept him up to speed on most trends and pop culture media.

Sevrin didn’t answer Shaw’s question after that, opening a bag of fruit snacks to nibble on them while the padawan struggled. When Shaw explained himself about catching his breath, Sevrin stared blankly, “You don’t get extra points for looking tough while attempting this, Padawan, there is no girl here for you to impress,” The Sephi added tersely.

He remained largely unfazed as Shaw continued to bruise his hand, but he could appreciate the dedication, “Remember not to draw from your pain and frustrations to empower yourself. That is a path to the Dark Side. Keep doing what you have been doing and trust in the Force as an ally. It will come to you.”

Sevrin finished up his little bag of snacks by the time Shaw finally cracked the stone. The Sephi walked over to inspect the slab, observing the fissure. He gave an approving nod, “You will do this again tomorrow till it does not harm you,” Sevrin said. He took Shaw’s hand and waved his own over it, a warm sensation suddenly filling the Padawan’s palm. After a moment, he would find his pain mostly alleviated. Sevrin didn’t do a full heal - Shaw needed to appreciate the hard work this technique took - but it would allow Shaw to keep using his hand and rest.

The Sephi took a seat in the grass and tossed Shaw some snacks. The sun was going to set in just an hour or two and another full day of training was passing.

“Close your eyes and center your mind,” Sevrin said, “The meditation techniques you learned at the academy will be critical for our next lessons. We’ve gone over trusting in the Force thus far. Tomorrow you will be fully placing that trust in your abilities,” He said without revealing much more.

“Keep your eyes closed and tell me what you see. What you perceive.”

@throwitintothefire

 

[Shaw Amaris]

Thank the moons for that. It was embarrassing enough to struggle like this in front of Master Valtiere, brown eyes glassed over with unshed tears, without having a girl standing around watching him. It would totally kill his standing with the other padawans.

"How do you know about lebmas bread?" Shaw asked, raising an eyebrow. He almost gave in to the urge to add Space Legolas but thought better of it. That nickname was better left to the safety and privacy of his own thoughts for forever and a day.

Sitting down in the grass across from Master Valtiere, Shaw played with the bag of snacks but didn't indulge quite yet. He was staring down at his left hand, wondering how long it would take him to split the rock tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that. "Is it normal?" he asked, tilting his head toward the split rock behind them. "For it to take that long?" He had lost count after the tenth or twelfth attempt, but it had felt like an eternity.

Then, hoping it would make tomorrow's attempt easier, "What do you draw from? Is pain and frustration always a bad thing if it motivates us? Pushes us to try harder and do better?" He wasn't trying to argue with his master. He was just trying to understand.

Shaw closed his eyes but not before chewing and swallowing a few of the fruit snacks Master Valtiere had given him. He had struggled with meditation from day one, but over time with some great advice from another knight, a breakthrough on a hike, and Master Valtiere's coaching, he was getting better at it. "I feel... warmth. In my left hand." He opened one eye before closing it again. "Thanks for that by the way." As was often the case, Shaw's problem was focus. He was easily distracted. It took him a few minutes to let go and focus before he could give Master Valtiere a proper answer.

"I see my connection to the force. It feels like..." In a word? "The wind." Like it always did. Back on that jungle planet with Nash, back on Kashyyyk. It felt like an undying wind, brushing against his skin and running through his veins. That could carry him as far as he wanted to go, as far as he allowed it to take him. He opened one eye again. "Is that what I'm supposed to see?" He just wanted to double check because this definitely felt like another test. @Sreeya

 

[Sevrin Valtiere]

Sevrin said nothing in response to the lebmas bread question. He would keep his secrets.

The second question got a calm stare from Sevrin, “It never takes too long nor too little time, it happens precisely when it is meant to,” Was this Sevrin quoting Ring of the Lords again? Or was it something he would say normally? Shaw was left guessing and thrown into a loop.

“You draw from your strengths,” Sevrin explained about the pulling the Force, “It is very easy to lean into pain as fuel, but it often brings with it thoughts of destruction and inflicting the very pain you suffer on others. Darkness finds a window in and manifests as a result,” He said, “Instead lean into your will and determination to achieve your goals and the Force will answer instead of you violently commanding it to execute your will.”

Sevrin remained silent as Shaw asked his question, letting the boy delve into the realm of the Force. He would soon experience the life around him and the presence of woodland creatures or even Sevrin’s Force signature. The Sephi was a brilliant beacon in the Force, his commitment to the Light powerfully manifesting in the Force.

“It is different for everyone,” He said finally, “But you are seeing more now than you ever have before,” Sevrin reminded Shaw. Likely the boy didn’t even realize that he never actually saw anything when he meditated in the academies. Many of his fellow classmates probably accidentally fell asleep. Instead, he tapped into an entirely new universe now.

“You have come a long way, Padawan,” Sevrin said after a few minutes, “I am pleased to have taken you on.”

@throwitintothefire

 

[Shaw Amaris]

"Did you...?" Shaw started to ask, wondering if Master Valtiere had really just quoted one of the opening lines from Ring of the Lords or if it was just his own overactive imagination at work, but the question died away. Who was Shaw kidding? It wasn't like the sephi would have answered it anyway. He couldn't be sure, but he felt like Master Valtiere was actually messing with him. The first crack (wise or otherwise) in the sephi's closed off, detached personality in months. It brought a smile to Shaw's lips.

That answer made sense. It had just taken a little bit more explanation for Shaw to understand. Pain and frustration did make great motivators because they were easy motivators. Not because they were good motivators. The path of least resistance was more often than not the wrong path—a lesson he had been learning the hard way over the last few months. "What makes the dark side so bad?" Shaw asked. That was probably a dumb question to ask when you were a Jedi, but he wanted to hear Master Valtiere's answer. Not the news cycle's. Not what the Jedi text books hold him. What Master Valtiere had learned from his own personal experiences. Growing up, Shaw had always just seen the Jedi and the Sith as two sides of the same coin.

Slipping back into mediation, made easier by the sephi's close proximity, Shaw would feel a connection to the force and by extension experience a connection to everything around him like he never had before. Eyes closed, he could see a spotted fawn at the edge of a stream of water, tongue lapping at the cool, flowing liquid. He could feel the satisfaction that washed over her as she drank the rainwater, felt the panic set in when she lost sight of her mother, and finally the relief when she spotted her mother just across the way. Further down the stream he could see two horned frogs, males fighting for dominance and grappling for the right to mate with a nearby female frog.

There was one presence stronger than the rest, a beacon of light so strong and so overwhelming it threatened to eclipse even the sun's warm rays. "I think I see you," Shaw would speak up, amending, "Your presence I mean. Or some kind of expression of it. It's... bright." The brightest light the padawan had ever seen, impenetrable by even the darkest of night. "Can you see me too? My presence I mean?" Or was it only the really strong Jedi who manifested like that?

Master Valtiere's monotone voice caught Shaw's attention, and he opened his eyes and just stared at the sephi. Did he really just say he was pleased to have taken him on as a padawan? Shaw couldn't believe it at first, but slowly the words and the weight of them sunk in. This was one of the best moments of his life. He had never felt so proud of himself. Even Shaw, sixteen and clueless, realized that this was... a really special moment. A memory that he would carry with him forever. Of course he had to go and ruin in by opening his mouth. "Do you really mean that? I mean—" Of course Master Valtiere meant it. Since when did he just blabber on? When he said something, he meant it. "Lowkey kinda want to hug you right now." @Sreeya

 

[Sevrin Valtiere]

Sevrin wasn’t asked why the Dark Side was bad nearly as often as he hoped. The question drew out a few twitches of his ears, perhaps the only indication that he was pleased with the query, “Intent is the crux of the issue with the dark side,” Sevrin said, “For centuries the Sith Pureblood have used the Force. To them it was not considered the Dark Side, simply their way of using the Force. In the Sith Order or among Jedi, the Dark Side is the name for a perversion of the Force. If you intend to harm others and rely on festering and negative emotions like rage to cause grievous offenses, that is the Dark Side. The reason it is bad is because the users become enslaved to it,” Sevrin explained, “I am telling you now to trust in the Force, but once you surrender to the Dark Side, the Force makes you its puppet. It can become deceptive and lead you to your own destruction. Leaning into the Light means looking to the Force as an ally,” Sevrin paused before he continued, “Generations of Sith think they are controlling and mastering the Force, when really embracing the Dark Side is becoming a victim of manipulation.”

Sevrin looked at Shaw, “The Force itself manifests differently when you surrender yourself like that. You will note Sith have bled crystals and a red blade. That is a tortured, perversion of the Force where rage and hatred is poured into the kyber to create the blade.”

Sevrin waited till Shaw returned from the realm of the Force, “Everyone has a presence, Padawan,” He explained, “Even regular civilians have a faint presence,” He said, “Take a moment at the end of each day to center yourself and meditate. It is your time to forgive yourself of any hardships you witnessed that day, any regrets that weigh on you, any mistakes you’ve made. It is a moment to cleanse your mind and remember to trust in the Force and yourself.”

He allowed Shaw his moment after his admission, the boy blurting out words seconds later. Sevrin stared at him, “I will embrace you myself when you pass your trials,” He said, his ears twitching the slightest bit in amusement, “Get some rest, Padawan.”

Sevrin stepped away, walking down a path where his muscle memory kicked in. He didn’t even have to properly see to know where he was going, finding himself at the foot of a particular path. Sevrin had returned here more often than he cared to admit. He could have meditated instead, he could have followed the advice he just gave his padawan, and followed the discipline that was so important to him. And yet, as he gazed up at the brilliant stars above, he couldn’t help but allow that bittersweet agony to briefly wash over him. He thought of the time he was here with Amariel and one of the only moments where they stole away from the galaxy together. They briefly shed their titles and duties, finding sanctuary on this planet. It was a memory he would keep alive no matter where his life went and no matter how devoted he was to the Jedi Order.

Death was a part of the Force and she was immersed within it. And yet Sevrin would have given anything to see her once again, to feel her cool skin under his fingertips, to see her amber gaze, to finally tell her those three little words he never dared to utter while she lived. The words she so badly wanted to hear and he knew he felt in his heart.

It is your time to forgive yourself, his own words to his padawan echoed in his thoughts. And yet he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not just yet. Perhaps not ever.

@throwitintothefire

 

[Shaw Amaris]

Shaw considered Master Valtiere's words. It was hard to imagine Nash or Krel as anyone's puppets, much less puppets of the very power they harnessed and wielded. He couldn't picture them perverting and torturing the force to their every whim, not when both of them had saved his life and done him a good deed when they didn't have to. One hand absentmindedly wrapped around the bear tooth necklace that hung from his neck without even thinking about it. Maybe they just didn't know any better. Or maybe they didn't realize. Or maybe... maybe they were different. The few that stood apart from the rest of the Sith Order. Corvo Vis, the Jedi Master Valtiere had mentioned earlier, he had once been a Sith, hadn't he?

"Is that why the Sith become slaves to the dark side?" he asked suddenly, "Because they try to manipulate the force? Is it some kind of punishment?" He was curious just what being a slave to the dark side really entailed, but perhaps that was a question for another day. It was a lot of information to process, contrary to everything he had been taught as a child. It only gave him more questions—about the will of the dark side, if Sith had a mind of their own or if their identity was entirely consumed by the dark side, if the dark side manipulated their every waking thought and decision, stuff like that. But they would keep for now.

Right now he just wanted to bask in Master Valtiere's appraisal. 'I am pleased to have taken you on' might have seemed like a pretty basic thing that anyone would say to their new apprentice, but coming from Master Valtiere? After months and months of training? It was just about the nicest thing anyone had ever said to Shaw. There had been moments when he was afraid that the sephi regretted taking him on as his apprentice. Hearing him say that was a relief. "I won't forget you said that," Shaw called after his master, the sephi's tall and slender frame moving deeper into the jungle. "Expect a real long bear hug!" That was a guarantee.

Once the sephi disappeared from view, Shaw would begin gathering wood to start a fire, following the example Master Valtiere had set one of those first nights after they had arrived. He tried to use the force to make a flame but didn't meet with any success, so it was one of the lighters from their packs that did the trick. Alone with his thoughts, Shaw would lean back against his sleeping roll and watch the flames dance. He thought about everything Master Valtiere had said about the dark side of the force, about how much had changed in the last few months, and about the pain that lingered in his hand and how he might do better tomorrow. Falling into meditation was a natural progression after that, cleansing his mind and reminding himself to trust in the force before falling asleep.

The next morning Shaw was up early—a first for him. Usually Master Valtiere had to wake him up. He still hadn't beat the sephi up, but Shaw was beginning to wonder if he actually ever slept at all. Shaw didn't know how he did it. Once camp was packed up, the padawan set off in search of his master. Master Valtiere had promised that today he would be fully placing that trust in the force in his abilities. Shaw was nervous but couldn't wait to see what all the sephi had planned for today. @Sreeya

 

[Sevrin Valtiere]

“Sith get consumed by the drive of power,” Sevrin said, “It is easy to get lured. Sith get a lot of powerful, offensive ways to use the Force that the Jedi do not wield. However, it all comes at the cost of corruption. It always hurts them in the end,” The Sephi said before they parted ways.

The next morning, Sevrin was surprised when Shaw showed up earlier than usual. He had been in the middle of practicing some of his own forms. The Sephi was shirtless, a saber in each hand as he was mid-training. Shaw would notice right away an intricate Force Lightning scar that spanned his entire torso. His body was marred all over with old saber wounds, a tapestry painted of a lifetime of combat amidst the lean muscles.

“I wasn’t expecting you for a few more hours,” Sevrin said dryly, though amusement glinted in his silver eyes. He stepped off to grab his tunic and put it on.

The Sephi walked over to grab a training droid, handing Shaw a blindfold to put over his eyes, “You have practiced extensively enough to rely on your reflexes. Today you will run through simulations that resemble real combat,” He explained, handing a training saber to Shaw, “Remember to focus. You will not rely on your eyes, but you know how to tap into your other senses and still see. The droid will fire stun bolts at you from different sides and you must hit them with your saber,” If Shaw missed one, it would stun the limb it hit or immobilize him. While it wouldn’t cause actual harm, it would certainly sting and numb him. Stun bolts couldn't be deflected, so they would safely dissolve if Shaw hit them.

“Are you prepared?”

@throwitintothefire

 

[Shaw Amaris]

What Regina and some of the other girls wouldn't have given to swap places with Shaw right now. Regina was just one of the many padawans he knew that wore Master Valtiere's face on a t-shirt and had posters of the sephi slapped up all over the walls of their dorm rooms along with some other Jedi Shaw had never met and really didn't know much about. Shaw, on the other hand, he just wanted to know the story behind each of the scars. He wanted to hear about the battles, the duels, and the tales of derring do behind each scar. In particular he wanted to hear the story behind the scar that stretched like lightening across the sephi's torso.

"All those scars," Shaw said while his master put his shirt on, "Did a Sith give them to you?" Scars were cool and all, but it hadn't been until he had said it out loud that he realized that as cool as the scars looked now, Master Valtiere must have experienced a great deal of pain and suffering at the hands of his enemies upon receiving them. Was that what the Sith were capable of? What they would do to Shaw and any other Jedi that crossed their path if given the chance? Shaw swallowed.

Apparently there were scars that not even the force could heal.

Stepping forward, Shaw took the blindfold and made a lame joke about, "Isn't this a little kinky?" but the joke fell flat, so he just cleared his throat and tied the blindfold around his head and pulled it down over his eyes. Everything was dark. He couldn't even see the glow of the purple training lightsaber Caul had given him.

"This is kinda like hit the piñata—ouch!" he yelped, jumping and clutching his back where a stun bolt had struck him. Distracted again. "So is it gonna be moving or—oof!" Another stun bolt struck his knee. That answered that question. "Good thing that thing is set to stun, huh?" he started to laugh when a third stun bolt hit his side. Okay, enough talking.

Adopting one of the basic opening stances of Form X, Shaw would quiet his mind, letting go of every distraction, and focus on the force that binds all things together. He would wait for ripples in the force, for that feeling of imminent danger, and then block a plasma bolt for the first time. It dissipated and disappeared. @Sreeya

 

[Sevrin Valtiere]

Sevrin nodded in response to Shaw’s query, “All from Sith,” His gaze briefly flicked down to his own chest, “This was from a Sith Lord,” He explained, entirely unbothered by discussing the scars, “I have many stories to share if you are curious,” The Sephi said with his usual, even tone. Sevrin made peace with most of his past, the only remnants being of Amariel.

The lame joke from Shaw received no response, nor did the subsequent blabbering. Sevrin decided to let Shaw discover for himself what distraction felt like. The bolts struck him from all angles and the Sephi observed with calm silence. When Shaw finally hit a bolt, Sevrin wondered if it was from sheer luck.

Focus, padawan, His voice would echo not audibly, but through the Force within Shaw’s mind. It was a reminder to leave the physical realm behind and concentrate. Shaw would have no time to celebrate the first block, several more bolts coming at him from all sides. He would be forced to duck, roll, deflect, and have his practiced forms committed into muscle memory.

“No one plays by the rules in a real fight, Padawan,” Sevrin explained as he circled the boy, “No one follows the forms and the steps perfectly. Adaptability is the only thing that will let you survive a fight,” He said, “There are many Jedi better than you and I that fell to the blade because they followed every disciplined movement instead of varying their defense.”

After Shaw had enough rounds with the bolts, Sevrin still didn’t let him take the blindfold off. The Sephi stood before him and Shaw would hear a training saber ignite. Without warning, Sevrin rushed at Shaw with his right handed saber, swinging it diagonally from Shaw’s left shoulder to right hip.

@throwitintothefire

 

[Shaw Amaris]

It appeared that Master Valtiere didn't have an issue with discussing his scars, going so far as to offer to tell Shaw a few of the stories behind the wounds. Shaw perked up at that. The story about Corvo Vis and Shae Litorra had been exciting, but getting to hear stories about Master Valtiere himself would be even better. Even after they had spent months together, at first briefly on Corellia and now here, in the middle of the jungle where they were only the two souls for miles and miles, Shaw still felt like he really didn't know his master. Not really.

The sephi with the silver eyes and a hundred scars was a mystery. Maybe he always would be, but Shaw wanted as many pieces to the puzzle as Master Valtiere was willing to give him. To say that Shaw looked up to him was an understatement. "Really?" Shaw asked, one of his generic responses that kinda just filled up space and time as he thought of what to say next. Most people wouldn't want to talk about stuff like that. It might bring back painful memories best left in the past, but Master Valtiere was willing to reopen old wounds. Shaw appreciated it.

"I'm super curious," he said, "Was it Raze?" It was a stab in the dark. That just happened to be the only dark lord he knew, so he threw it out there to show that he at least knew something. I mean, who didn't? But especially when it was his abominations that had overrun Shaw's homeworld. No matter who it was, the teenager wanted to hear the whole story.

Just when Shaw was finally starting to get the hang of it, relying on the muscle memory of Form X that Master Valtiere had made him practice every day, the sephi decided to change things up on him and throw a wrench right into Shaw's groove. A lightsaber, actually. Shaw sensed him coming, raising his training lightsaber across his body to deflect the diagonal strike, but he didn't have time to plant his feet. When their blades met, the force behind Master Valtiere's swing sent Shaw stumbling back a few feet. Backpedaling, he slashed wildly at the sephi's lower legs just to try and hold him off until he could regain his balance, ducking to his right first chance he got. @Sreeya

 

[Sevrin Valtiere]

Shaw would miss the way Sevrin stiffened at the word Raze. It meant that Sevrin had to swing his sabers down to guard instead of jumping away. To his delight, Shaw took to hear the lesson and darted to the right and Sevrin’s counter met empty air, “Excellent!” He called out, swinging another attack now at Shaw’s legs.

“It was not Raze,” He spoke as they fought. Did Shaw realize how easily he was adapting to this while holding a conversation? Sevrin began to understand the way to get the best from Shaw was to keep him occupied and not let his self-doubts creep into his thoughts. It was no different than the boy floating the fruits at the very beginning of their training.

“It was a Sith Lord named Asminys, but I later learned he was associated with Raze,” Sevrin said as he dodged another swing from Shaw, “Do not forget to use the Force, Padawan,” He reminded right as he used the Force in an attempt to knock Shaw on his back.

With time, Shaw’s combat was no different than if he had no blindfold at all. Yet even at the end of the exercise, Sevrin did not permit him to remove it just yet.

“What do you make of the split between the Crusaders and the traditional Jedi, Padawan?” Sevrin asked, genuinely curious, “And is there one you are partial to than the other?”

@throwitintothefire

 

[Shaw Amaris]

"Never heard of him," Shaw replied. But that didn't mean anything. He could have been Darth Raze's right hand man, the conqueror of a hundred worlds, and Shaw still wouldn't have heard of him. He was having to play catch up as far as galactic news and the histories of the Jedi and Sith Orders. "Did you kill him?" He assumed the answer was yes since Master Valtiere had lived to tell the tale and was standing there talking about it now. Or perhaps it had been a draw? Or the Sith Lord had escaped? Was imprisoned? What would the Jedi even do with prisoners? Curious, Shaw just asked. "Do the Jedi keep prisoners or do they offload them to local security or something?"

Master Valtiere reminded Shaw to use the force, knocking the padawan onto his back with a single push. That was as good a reminder as any. Shaw rolled out of the way to try and dodge the sephi's following attack, jumping to his feet and using the force to hurl a rock the sephi's way. If it was anyone else Shaw might have been worried about the stone drawing blood or something, but come on. This was Master Valtiere. No way it was gonna hit him. So Shaw could throw it without a guilty conscious, which felt kinda nice. It felt good to use the force and not feel guilty about it. To not feel ashamed, like he had done something wrong. A lot had changed in the last few months.

"The split?" Shaw took a few seconds to gather his thoughts once their sparring match had finished. "I don't really know if I'm being real with you." The truth? Shaw didn't know much about the split. Just the bits and pieces he had picked up here and there from other padawns, and he would know better than most that padawans didn't always know what they were talking about. "I've never really thought about it. Can you tell me about it? The split, I mean?" Then he thought of a better question. "Which side are you on?" Was he on a side? Did every Jedi have to take a side? @Sreeya