Ask Under-Qualified for Everything

[Trace]

Trace's studying was getting exhausted. On one of the upper levels of the main hall, she had found a small, cushy bench and was full on laying on her back. Her hand was resting on her datapad and to most people it might look like she was napping, but in reality she was absorbing the data from her electronic device. Another weird thing about being Miraluka (so she'd been told), but ultimately, it meant she didn't have to do the whole "hold a datapad above your face and accidentally drop it on yourself" like so many people did.

The problem was she had nearly dozed off three times in the last thirty minutes, and ultimately decided she needed to get up and move or she was going to fade altogether.

She sat upright, turning her head slightly as she felt a familiar presence in the Force. She set the datapad down next to her and reached up to the sky, stretching out her arms and back like she'd just taken a long nap. She wished...

Maybe it's caf time, she thought to herself as sensed Ailis approaching.

How's it going? Fancy running into you here, she said, grabbing the datapad and slipping it back into her backpack.

 

[Ailis Drast]

Ailis was stressed. It was nearly the end of the semester and she was bombing droid engineering. Being holed up in her dorm pouring over textbooks for days on end wasn't doing her any good and she really needed a breath of fresh air. Maybe a bit of a pick me up, though she knew that was a bad idea if she wanted to get any serious studying done.

Instead she found herself in the library, which of course she would. Going from one stack of books to another apparently. Maybe she needed some new insights into droid engineering. She didn't even know why she was in that class. She had requested chemistry but apparently she didn't have all the prerequisites, as if the growing lab in her bathroom wasn't enough of a qualification. Oh, right. The administration didn't know about that.

She radiated anxiety as she wandered into the library and made her way to the technologies sections where she found a familiar face. One without eyes however. "Oh. Hey... Trace right?" She paused while she tried to remember the girls name. She wasn't the greatest with names. "Yeah fancy... Uuugghh I'm so stressed." She tried to maintain her composure and do the small talk before groaning into her hands and turning her head towards the ceiling. She paced a few times before sitting down next to Trace on the bench.

"It's this Droid Engineering class, its killing me!" She threw her hands up before flopping down along the length of the bench to rest her head against it. Laying there Ailis pouted and asked. "You're good with tech, right? I can't handle another all nighter trying to comprehend this shit." She looked up at Trace with her best help me face.

@Phoenix

 

[Trace]

Trace sat back harder, leaning against the wall behind the bench. Distress radiated off of Ailis like heat off an engine and it didn't take long for those thoughts to start coming out in words as well.

Ugh, Droid Engineering, she said. Yeah, I'm pretty useless for actually building an fixing droids outside using the Force for it, she said. She'd avoided taking droid classes during her time here, preferring more physical classes or Force-based training.

Come on, caf will make everything better, she said, swinging her backpack over her shoulder and heading out. And some fresh air. Have you even gotten out since you started studying? she asked.

She headed back and down the stairs. The room was bustling with people, students here and there, guards. Here, Trace didn't have to have her lightsaber hidden, and it bounced against her hip as she descended.

Alright, hit me with what you're working on so I can officially tell you that I don't know anything, she said.

@Arcangel

 

[Ailis Drast]

Ailis sat up as soon as Trace revealed that she was useless at droid engineering outside of the force. The Force. That's what she was missing. "Yeah? how do you do that?" She had no idea. Everything the school had taught her on the force had been theoretical and not practiced. She needed to start learning outside the curriculum is she was gonna learn anything. Useless academy.

"I really shouldn't..." Ailis started as she thought of the looming deadline. She had calculated out the hours to time spent studying and just this short diversion to the library was going to cost her. Why she had wasted time on the calculation she couldn't tell you, but she had the math and... "Yeah. Let's go. It's not like I'm going to pass anyways." She laughed mournfully and got up to follow.

"I haven't slept in THREE days!" She held up three fingers and shook them as she walked and talked. "I have eight months worth of shit for six classes I have to complete and turn in by the end of the semester, while also trying to keep up with current coursework that I have little to no foundational knowledge from the earlier lessons, because I'm trying to complete those in my free time!" She looked up at the ceiling and pressed her palms against her eyes in frustration as she punctuated her rant with a loud groan.

"You telling me you're as useless as the rest of the staff here?" Ailis looked at Trace trying to hold a serious face before her face cracked into a grin. "Joking. I'm sure there's something in one of my classes you could help me with, even if its not Droid Engineering... Which apparently is an essential pass to continue on to the real stuff! It doesn't make any sense! What the fuck does a Sith need to know droid engineering for?" She shook her head, looking at Trace for answers before realizing she had been ranting and shouting, with half the people in the hallway looking at the two of them. She was glad to escape the stares down the stairs to the next floor.

Great, more stares. "I just don't know what to do. It's like they want me to fail." She said with a defeated tone as they walked out of the building. Maybe it was best if she did. Then she'd be able to do everything from the start, but then she would be behind everyone else and that would be embarrassing. Maybe if she failed they would just kill her. "Fuck, are they gonna kill me if I fail?" She looked at Trace as she asked quietly, concerned.

@Phoenix

 

[Trace]

Trace chewed on her lower lip as she listened to Ailis's... well, it was a rant, let's call it what it was. She was ranting, and the revelation that she hadn't slept in 3 days made it make much more sense why.

Okay, well first off, you need to sleep. Your brain's going to be worthless to you if it's running on empty. That's probably why you're stuck, she said. There were plenty of times during her days in the academy when they weren't allowed to sleep, but those were usually on simulation ops or actually externships. Usually going for days with sleeping while doing conventional studying was ill advised.

Have they actually taught you... anything about the Force? she asked. She should have gotten at least some exposure by this point. Even if it was initial tapping in, but that may have been at the start of the year, too. Because meditation can help with that, too, she said.

As she called Trace useless like the rest of the staff, she turned toward her and started to go on the defensive. Well, if you don't want my help then you... but she stopped as she felt something in the Force shift. Oh, it was a joke. She cleared her throat and turned back toward the caf line.

Anyway, they won't kill you for failing droid engineering, she said. Maybe some other classes... particularly high level classes, externships, and combat courses, but not Droid Engineering at least.

She got up to the front of the line and ordered herself a PSL and swiped her ID badge to tap into her student account.

Alright, so have they taught you how to meditate yet? she asked. Because you need some rapid rejuvenation.

@Arcangel

 

[Ailis Drast]

"I think I've forgotten how to sleep." Ailis chuckled lightly to herself, but it made sense. Everything she'd read, every equation, every everything she had studied in the last three days felt unreachable, like it had gone in one end and out the other. She shook her head to the next question.

"The basics where at the beginning of the year. They're already covering advanced techniques and I don't even know the basics." She grumbled. She did notice Trace start to snip back at her joke. So sensitive. "I sure hope not, otherwise I'm dead for sure." She stood behind Trace in line as she fumed and worried. She felt extra irritable today.

"No." Ailis replied as she produced a couple Imperial credits from one of her pockets for her own order. Spotting a table in front of the caf shop, Ailis led the way, sitting down and crossing her legs as she leaned back against the chair. "You think it would help? I read some about it a few weeks ago but my brain feels so frazzled, I can't remember much of it." She sighed, sipping her caf.

@Phoenix

 

[Trace]

She shrugged as Ailis asked if she thought it would help. Well it'll at least help you with your other classes, she said, taking a sip of her latte and smacking her lips together a few times.

Look at it this way. If you stay this tired, you won't pass. Meditating... might help you get some rest a little faster. Might, she said. She wasn't here to promise any miracles, and she liked to set expectations real low and overdeliver rather than the other way around.

Alright, close your eyes and empty your mind. That thing you feel in your mind. Look further in. Yes, that one, she said, knowing she would be able to feel it. To find it in herself. It was what had brought her here in the first place. She was a Force user.

She waited a moment longer, sensing what Ailis felt, gauging wether she thought she had found the string that would pull to unravel the mysteries of the universe. At least someday.

Now follow that down. Keep going on, she said. It would bury to deep within herself. A flow of memories and thoughts that she would feel like she had no control over went rushing by like a ship through lightspeed, and then she would drop out, and she would see the tendrils that connected the universe. The spider web of being that connected everything living and dead, animate and inanimate. She would truly see the galaxy for the first time.

@Arcangel

 

[Ailis Drast]

Ailis was willing to give anything a shot at this point so she nodded to Trace, wondering if she could see it for a moment before remembering that she indeed could. Miralukan's. It still unsettled her a little. "Well if it can help me remember how to sleep then I'm in." She said, a joking tone in her miserable voice.

Ailis set her caf down and closed her eyes under Trace's instructions. With a sharp exhale, she tried to clear her mind. Let go of all the textbooks, all the pressures. All the distractions. It wasn't easy and she sat there for a goooood loooong moment clearing out the clutter of her mind. But she got there.

There it was. When everything was clear and empty, there was a little string in her mind. A string that he could pull on and unravel the universe if only she knew how. Trace's voice penetrated the emptiness and with her encouragement, Ailis reached for the string. She gave it a tug.

It felt like she was being pulled through a maelstrom of memories as she delved deep into herself. The ones she saw terrified her. Flashes of memories that shed light on her soul. Violence, recklessness, heartbreak and betrayal. Each memory hurt worse than the last, all the more so because she knew the cause of them all. She recoiled from what she saw inside, gasping as her eyes shot open

"No no no no." She muttered to herself as she looked at her hands before looking wildly at Trace. "What the fuck was that? What the fuck did you do to me?" She spoke accusingly before taking a deep breath. This wasn't Traces' fault. Exhale.

"Sorry... I don't know why I..." She apologized for the kneejerk reaction. She knew exactly why. She moved past that. "You didn't see any of that, did you?"

@Phoenix

 

[Trace]

Trace could feel the waves of anxiety, fear, and anger flowing through Ailis as she delved deeper into her mind. It wasn't always a smooth or positive experience, and if she was going to learn the Dark Side, she would need to find a way to harness that in order to rise above.

No, I couldn't, she said, letting Ailis have a moment to recuperate and potentially have a little freak out before continuing.

Try it again. Get past all of that. Harness it, and focus that energy into what you want to accomplish. Remember: passion yields strength, she said. Passion can take a lot of different forms, including anxiety, fear, anger... don't run from it, use it, she said. Or at least that was what they were told. Even she didn't have that much anger, but she had her own passion. Her own desires, aspirations, and dreams.

 

[Ailis Drast]

Ailis breathed a sigh of relief as Trace confirmed that she hadn't seen a single one of the memories that had danced through her head. She buried her face in her hands in shame for a moment, waiting for it all to fade again, but it all seemed too real now. She breathed and sat up, shaking it off.

"Okay. I can do this." She reassured herself as she closed her eyes again, listening to Traces' words as she talked about passion. Fear, anger, anxiety... She certainly had plenty of those, especially that last one. "Don't run from it, use it." She whispered to herself as she tried to clear her mind again and searched for the string.

She tugged it again and the floor dropped out from under her.

Fear coursed through her as she faced her demons, even if she was just passing by. She latched on to that rising feeling of disgust in her throat, wielding it like a bludgeon to batter past the memories and into the multiverse. It was eye opening. Her world seemed so small before as she beheld the strings that held it all together. The hum of life from the streets around them. The flow of power through city lines. The little thoughts and beats of all the little unseen creatures that surrounded them.

"I see it." She whispered, nearly losing grip on the new reality that existed shakily in her mind.

@Phoenix

 

[Trace]

Trace could feel her try again. She couldn't see the memories, but she could feel the emotions. Waves of anxiety and panic initially gave way to a quiet determination and finally perhaps a hint of shaky confidence. A belief that she could do this.

Good, now let it flow into you and through you. Become one with it. It's a literally unlimited source of power. Let it fuel your body and your mind, she said. They were words that she wondered if the other girl would even really understand.

And then just exist within that space. Let it mix with your memories. You... you give way to it controlling you, but also you controlling it. It's a... a symbiosis, she said. They were difficult concepts to describe until one actually experienced it.

@Arcangel

 

[Ailis Drast]

Ailis heard Traces' words drifting into her mind as if from a faraway place. And she did feel far away from it all. Far away from the tapcaf and the Taris Academy. Far away from her problems and insecurities. Far away from all of it. It was almost peaceful if not for the noise.

She listened, and tried to hear and understand. Letting things flow, becoming one. Unlimited power sounded really great. Unlimited power and unlimited fuel.

Her shaky foundation solidified as she gained confidence in her meditation, clarity in what the Force could bring her. Was this how the Jedi and Sith controlled the Force, wielding great power through symbiosis with this space. She was in awe.

"So cool." She whispered as she tried to find oneness with it, becoming the humming lights and chittering rock bogs. Becoming the hum of repulsor engines and the mindless chatter of the surrounding people. She soaked in it and it soaked into her and as it did she felt a gentle thrum of power in her chest. A thrum that felt as if it could turn into a roar with a bit of stoking.

"I did it!" She exclaimed as she opened her eyes and stared around her. "I did it I did it I did it." She overflowed with excitement, and turned to Trace. "I could feel it, all around me, in the people, in the bugs, under the street, in you." She grabbed Traces hand, speaking fast. "Thank you so much I don't know what I would do without you." She rambled before realizing she had the girls hand held tight in both of hers. "Sorry, personal space." She reminded herself as she let go of the other acolyte's hand. She was just so excited to have finally felt a piece of what everyone else at the Academy basked in daily.

@Phoenix

 

[Trace]

Trace could sense things within her shifting and could feel that she was changing from the inside out. The sudden wave of excitement as she snapped back to reality caused a wide smile to sweep across Trace's face.

Welcome to the Sith, she said. It was the first real step that Trace had seen the girl take. Not that she had been there for every part of the other woman's training.

She waved off the other girl's apology with her hand, still smiling as she did. It's a great feeling, isn't it? she said.

It does take longer than just that to recover yourself, but you've taken your first steps on the path, she said, reaching over and taking another sip of her caf.

I've got to return a book to one of the Instructors, she said, pointing toward her backpack. You're welcome to come with unless you're too busy, she said, not offended if she declined.

She grabbed her caf and backpack, tossing it over her shoulder and heading out to her next destination.

@Arcangel

 

[Ailis Drast]

Ailis grinned a big cheese as Trace welcomed her to the Sith. It was the first time she felt as if someone had said it and meant it.

"It's amazing," she nodded enthusiastically, "Walking through the door... Was a bit of a trip though." She admitted, scratching her neck and looking down at the ground a some of the memories rushed through her mind again. She shivered. She knew she did some wild stuff when she was letting loose, but some of that stuff she had seen....

She didn't know if she could look at herself in the mirror the same.

"It definitely is. How long would you recommend meditation for a full recovery? Or partial?" She asked, pulling out her phone to jot down notes and record how long Trace suggested.

"Sure! Ailis jumped at the chance to hang out with the girl more and maybe get a glimpse at some of the more advanced classes. She would grab her backpack and caf, sipping it quietly for a moment as they walked.

Attending Sith Academy had been surprising to her in more ways than one. On one hand it reminded her of her old school, or more accurately the failings of it. Even if the grounds and facility were neat and new it seemed like nobody cared about anyone else there. In some ways that reminded her more of the lower city streets than it did a school.

"Why are you being nice to me?" She asked quietly after a few moments of walking in silence. She had been so excited to finally have help and to make some sort of breakthrough that she has almost forgotten the nature of the school she went to. What might this help cost her?

@Phoenix

 

[Trace]

Trace shrugged at the question about how long to meditate for. Until you feel better, she said. It wasn't the most insightful answer, but the reality was that she was still an acolyte as well. There was a great deal she was still learning, and that thought was terrifying. Soon she would graduate the academy as a Champion and be expected to function independently and have the answers.

Trace walked out into the shining sun of Taris, heading in the direction of one of the Instructional office buildings. She took a deep breath of the fresh air and felt the heat of the sun on her face. She silently wondered to herself what it looked like for what had to have been the thousandth time.

When Ailis finally asked her why she was helping, she was silent for a long moment. The answer to that question was far from simple, and not particularly pretty.

I don't know what answer you're looking for, she said, her voice no longer quite as chipper. I'm sure you've figured out how this place is already. It hasn't cost me anything to help you, and it never hurts to have allies, she said with a sigh. It wasn't a nice answer, but it was the truth, and in a place like this, it was more valuable to have an honest answer than a nice one.

She came to a stop and turned toward Ailis. There was, of course, no eye contact, but she'd discovered that facing people was an important thing for most other people. Look, I'm not planning to stab you in the back, but you shouldn't trust anyone here... not really. Or at least not until you get to know them really well. Even me, she said. In truth, she didn't know if she would stab another Sith in the back. She was competitive, but that had never really been her style. But this place was different... it was almost expected of you.

But if I can give you a leg up when you're stuck in a crappy situation, then why not? she added. She had no idea how Ailis would respond to that or if she'd simply leave altogether, but with that said, she started heading back in the direction of the office building.

@Arcangel

 

[Ailis Drast]

Ailis didn't know what kind of answer she was looking for when she asked. Didn't know what kind of answer to expect. What she got was... Well it wasn't exactly unexpected

Most important though, it sounded like the truth.

"I guess I should have expected that." She said a bit grimly as she kicked at the street and walked, only a little bit bummed. The sun shone on her face and she frowned at it. Sun wasn't exactly common where she was from.

"You're right though, I shouldn't trust anyone. That's what I get for hoping." Hoping what? That someone was actually kind here? That someone actually cared. That was probably what hurt the worst, going from one cruel and uncaring world to another and expecting it to be different. At least she knew what to expect now.

"Still... I appreciate it." She said, both in response to Trace claiming she wasn't going to stab her in the back, and her willingness to help a stupid lost under city kid way out of her depth. Ailis only hoped that when a time came along for her to stab Trace in the back... That she'd have the presence of mind not to. She was plenty used to stabbing people in the back... But she usually had the luxury of being free from the guilt of it in dreamland.

She didn't leave Trace's side as they walked. The girls words were disheartening but she wasn't about to let that stop her. Besides, Trace had helped her, even when she could have left Ailis to flounder and fail. She still might fail though.

"Is there... Do you think there's room in the Sith for friendship? " She asked a bit nervously, almost uncertain of why she even asked. Why would there be? She was probably just being naive.

@Phoenix

 

[Trace]

Well, that had cast a nice pall over the situation. They both walked along for a few moments, slightly awkward, but still sticking together.

Yeah... she said as Ailis thanked her for helping. It was something, and really nothing had changed from a few moments ago except that it was out in the open now.

I don't know... maybe. Hopefully, she said. She wanted to get ahead and win, but... she'd like friends too. She was sure the Sith wouldn't appreciate that sentiment, but she needed to be her own person, right? Just regurgitating what the instructors say wasn't going to get her to the Council some day.

She sighed and shook her head. Look, we've helped each other out so far regardless of what you want to call it. Let's not let this cast a raincloud over everything, she said, taking another big swig of her caf and hoping Ailis would agree.

What do you think of Taris? she asked, deciding to change the topic altogether.

@Arcangel

 

[Ailis Drast]

The awkward silence prevailed for a moment as they walked, neither of them making to leave the other's side. Ailis looked at Trace when she mentioned helping each other out. And rainclouds. "You're right." She nodded before thinking for a moment. "You know... I don't think i've ever seen a raincloud." Ailis said after a few moments of thought. Not exactly like it rained in the under city. She glanced at Trace's blindfold before looking ahead again. She guessed that maybe it was something they shared in common.

"Taris? Honestly it just reminds me of home. But I'm topside now!" She said happily as she skipped a few steps ahead and spun, raising her arms to gesture to everything around them. There was sun on her face. There were trees and plants in little planter boxes all over the place. Everything was so clean.

"I always dreamed of living topside as a kid. Thats more than one thats come true now I suppose." Maybe she wasn't doing so badly after all. Things were looking up. "What about you? What's it like compared to your home?"

@Phoenix

 

[Trace]

Not a lot of rainclouds or raining on Taris, she said. Like Coruscant, it had machines that controlled the weather conditions and made sure that things were always the proper temperature. At least topside.

Yeah, the Empire doesn't mess around with its schools, she said. They had been given prime territory after the takeover, and she wasn't unfamiliar with the times that Acolytes had been sent into the bowels of the Lower City and even the Under City to deal with criminals, monsters, and all sorts of other unsavory things. "Combat preparation" it was called even though most of the time it was combat.

I'm actually from here, she said. Few hours away, she said. She knew that Ailis was from the under city of Coruscant, and Trace was from the Upper City here. She knew there was plenty of animosity to go around between the different classes, and she half expected some unsavory reaction to the revelation.

Never been to Coruscant, though, so I guess you have me beat on that one, she said. Most of her life had been spent along the Hydian Way around Taris, and she'd never gotten in to the Core Worlds.

Though, I hear it's just the Core version of Taris, she said, though most would say that Taris was the Outer Rim version of Coruscant.

@Arcangel

 

[Ailis Drast]

"No kidding?" Ailis affirmed when Trace confessed that she was a local. That meant they were both city girls. And she had only lived a few hours away from the Academy. A few hours away. Ailis face tensed and she glanced down and to the side away from Trace for a moment as she did the calculations. Came to realizations.

Trace was a topsider.

"Yeah? Must have been nice." Ailis tried to keep any of the resentment she felt from leaking into her voice, only halfway successful, as she looked around at all the luxuries of topside. What would it have been like to grow up with trees to climb. Sun on your face. Wind in your hair. She shook it off and stuffed it down though. Nobody picked where the were born.

"You're not missing much, it's a shit hole just like this place." She scoffed at Trace's claims of never being to Coruscant. As if that meant anything. "More like Taris is the knock off Outer Rim version of Coruscant." She laughed before she realized she was being the same kinda bitch she assumed Trace was for being a topsider.

"Sorry. Taris is nice. Its a lot cleaner up here than I'm used to." She said as they passed a planter box and she ran a finger on the panelling. She held it up for Trace to see before remembering, right. Instead she inspected it herself. "Not a hint of grime." She grinned, her tone a little sarcastic. Had she been at home the finger probably would have came away black. Not that they had planter boxes.

"You ever been anywhere else?" She asked, her tone dropping back to normal. She'd never left the dim streets of undercity until she ran away from home to Taris, which of course was just more city. Her only experience outside of that was her little field trip to Namadii where she had met Trace.

@Phoenix