Joke

[Jaqen H'ghar]

Mummy, Mummy, can I go to the toilet?


Yes Johnny, I'll take you in a minute....


Can Granny take me?


Why?


Her hand shakes.

:CShock:

 

[Sovereign]

Poor little david!

Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, policeman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, etc. David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so he teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money." The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little David aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?" "No," said David, "He works for the Bush administration, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

 

[Emma Lou]

Poor little david!

Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, policeman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, etc. David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so he teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money." The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little David aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?" "No," said David, "He works for the Bush administration, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

I am pretty sure that this is one of the best

 

[Lavi]

Poor little david!

Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, policeman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, etc. David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so he teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money." The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little David aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?" "No," said David, "He works for the Bush administration, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

:CHappy:

 

[Jaqen H'ghar]

Poor little david!

Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, policeman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, etc. David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so he teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money." The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little David aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?" "No," said David, "He works for the Bush administration, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

Hah! you get a bucket full of win.

 

[Tsar Fire]

Poor little david!

Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, policeman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, etc. David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so he teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money." The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little David aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?" "No," said David, "He works for the Bush administration, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

funny...

 

[Cailst]

"France" didn't exist back then, it was Gaul. Neither did "Britain", it was Britannia. Also, that was not funny at all.

I didn't really find it funny either, I guess I got it a bit when the originator of the joke explained that it was based off soccer terminology in England.

I found another one.


Plato, Aristotle, Socrates and Pythagoras met up in Athens and got into debate about knowledge, and whether with their necessarily finite experience they could validly reach any conclusions about anything. Eventually they decided to broaden their experience, each spend a year exploring the world and meet up again in Rhodes.

Plato set off to the north, wandering around more or less at random as he sought new information and experiences. Aristotle headed east, again travelling fairly aimlessly but always open to new things. Socrates went south, bouncing around from place to place without any destination in mind and Pythagoras west in much the same style.

Eventually a full year later they made their rendezvous in Rhodes and resumed their debate, comparing notes and arguing long into the night. Eventually they realised what they had learned from their random wandering, all roams lead to Rhodes...

 

[Sovereign]

I didn't really find it funny either, I guess I got it a bit when the originator of the joke explained that it was based off soccer terminology in England.

I found another one.


Plato, Aristotle, Socrates and Pythagoras met up in Athens and got into debate about knowledge, and whether with their necessarily finite experience they could validly reach any conclusions about anything. Eventually they decided to broaden their experience, each spend a year exploring the world and meet up again in Rhodes.

Plato set off to the north, wandering around more or less at random as he sought new information and experiences. Aristotle headed east, again travelling fairly aimlessly but always open to new things. Socrates went south, bouncing around from place to place without any destination in mind and Pythagoras west in much the same style.

Eventually a full year later they made their rendezvous in Rhodes and resumed their debate, comparing notes and arguing long into the night. Eventually they realised what they had learned from their random wandering, all roams lead to Rhodes...

That's the worst joke I've ever heard. It's incredibly depressing.

 

[Jaqen H'ghar]

Plato, Aristotle, Socrates and Pythagoras met up in Athens and got into debate about knowledge, and whether with their necessarily finite experience they could validly reach any conclusions about anything. Eventually they decided to broaden their experience, each spend a year exploring the world and meet up again in Rhodes.

Plato set off to the north, wandering around more or less at random as he sought new information and experiences. Aristotle headed east, again travelling fairly aimlessly but always open to new things. Socrates went south, bouncing around from place to place without any destination in mind and Pythagoras west in much the same style.

Eventually a full year later they made their rendezvous in Rhodes and resumed their debate, comparing notes and arguing long into the night. Eventually they realised what they had learned from their random wandering, all roams lead to Rhodes...

I want the 4 minutes of my life that it took me to read this then re-reading it hoping I missed something funny, sigh, then type a responce, and I want it now. :CWat:

 

[The Lionheart]

"All Roads Lead To Rome"

"all roams lead to Rhodes."

...heh. You inspired a 'heh' from me. ;-)

 

[Cailst]

Yay, my joke wasn't completely worthless (Actually, I took it from this other site)

Though how did it take four minutes just to read a joke and formulate an opinion on it?

 

[Matt]

Good god Calist.....

So, a daughter in the cellar, and an axe murder in the closet.


I can't help but feel the Austrians are taking the game of Cluedo a little too seriously.

 

[Epic]

What's the difference between a Jew and a Muslim?

Virgins like Jews better.

 

[Incubi Priest]

This rich man walks into a bar, and he says to the barkeep,

"Gimme a glass of 12 year old scotch."

The bartender does, and the rich man drinks it and spits it all over his face, yelling,

"You bastard thats 10 year old scotch! Fine, give me a glass of six year old bourbon."

The bartender does, and once again the man spits it out,

"Thats 4 year old bourbon! Fine, if nothing else give me a 20 year old gin."

Once again, he drinks what the bartender gives it to him, and he spits it out everywhere saying that its an 18 year old gin.

Well, this drunk at the end of the bar stumbles over and hands the man a shotglass and says, "Here, if you don't like what the bartender's serving drink this."

The rich man downs it and pukes, looking completely shocked as he says, "What the hell! Thats urine!"

The drunk grins and says, "Yea, now tell me how old I am."

 

[Phil]

Mmkay, I don't know if this one was told yet, but here it goes.



A man walks into a bar, and there's a guy playing a piano with a little monkey on his shoulder. The man goes to the bar and orders a drink, and the little monkey runs over to him and sticks his nads in the drink. The man yells "Hey, that monkey just stuck his nads in my drink!" and the Bartender gets him a new drink, and the monkey sticks his nads in that drink. The man complained again and the bartender told him to tell it to the Piano player. The man goes over to him and says "Hey do you know your monkey keeps sticking his nads in my drink?" and the Piano man says "If you can hum it, I can play it."

 

[Incubi Priest]

Lol, delightful.

VGs are like VDs: they can be difficult, time consuming, and no matter how bad you want to pull away from them at times, they're usually stuck with you.

 

[Regret]

Lol, delightful.

VGs are like VDs: they can be difficult, time consuming, and no matter how bad you want to pull away from them at times, they're usually stuck with you.

I was there when this was forged. :3

 

[Epic]

Dubya.

 

[Incubi Priest]

I was there when this was forged. :3

I was there when you were forged.

...

Speaking of which, tell you're mother I said hi.

====

Totally different topic, Yo Mamma jokes!

Yo momma so ugly, that your dad takes her to work with him just so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

 

[Epic]

Your momma's so ugly, the Crypt Creeper wouldn't even tap that.