Corrupt A Wish

[Derath Quinton]

Granted, but they don't appear until my deathbed.

I wish for wookiee cookies.

 

[Tristar]

Granted. Those cookies murder you brutally as you attempt to eat them.

I wish Jar Jar Binks never existed, or the Ewoks.

 

[Rathenmedus]

Granted. Because Jar Jar never existed, the Palpatine was never given emergency powers, thus the Empire never got to start. The Jedi and the Republic win regardless.

I wish I had my own Death Star that did not have such a blatant, exploitable weakness.

 

[Tristar]

Granted, you have a Death Star that does not have a blatant exploitable weakness. It now has multiple weaknesses that can lead to a combined chain reaction if someone uses the coffee machine and ordered a bear claw from one end of the Death Star.

I wish arguments were settled with legal lightsaber duels that does not lead to death or incapacitation.

 

[Slamdingo]

Granted. However due to a horrible oversight in the design process, in your first ever duel you are disemboweled and decapitated.

I wish happiness and success for the person who posts after me.

 

[Ender]

Granted. I'm given the task of tracking down and killing you for 25 million.

I wish for infinite sheldon.

 

[Slamdingo]

Granted, Sheldon Cooper is cloned an infinite number of times, to the point that he fills the world, and strangles out all other life including yourself.

I wish I was rich and famous.

 

[Pureblood-Sin]

Granted, rich in manure and urine as a result of being a merry old Farmer.

I wish opposite day applied to physics.

 

[Fang.]

Granted, due to the fact that physics makes all matter stable, all matter becomes unstable and rappidly detiriorates or combusts. The universe ends.

I wish I had a better understanding of computer science.

 

[Rathenmedus]

Granted. You've been selected as a test subject in an experimental program where they hook up your brain to receive and put out electronic information. In the process, all animal instincts as a typical human functions cease, to the point where all emotion become irrelevant, unmeasurable data to you. Your mind allows you to build machines around your husk of a body, but now you are forever more a machine.

I wish acts of karma were immediate and were much more potent.

 

[Pureblood-Sin]

Granted, the last time you sneak a bit of food literally bites you in the a**.

I wish the world was one giant mosh pit.

 

[Murdock]

Granted, the world becomes a mosh pit but everyone goes deaf from the loud music. No more musical art is created as no one can hear. Robbery and vandalism is now the norm because no one can hear what is going on. The world is plunged into chaos and villainy.

I wish I could be best friends with Robert Downy Jr.

 

[Ender]

Granted. But you have a falling out and he becomes your life's fixation

I wish that wars were fought in pillowfights

 

[Murdock]

Granted, but soon pillow's advance into more powerful killing machines, then the Pillow Bomb, which fills an entire city with giant feathers, and suffocates everybody. There is pillow fallout, the world is now fluffy all the time.

I wish I had a really cool and awesome super power

 

[Miz]

Granted, but it only gives you the power to take away other people's powers

I wish I gets all the pretty woman.

 

[Pureblood-Sin]

Granted...all of them have teeth in a certain place though.

I wish all Humans were hermaphrodites!

 

[Black Noise]

Granted, but no one on Earth can reproduce anymore as a result of everyone becoming a hermaphrodite. Therefore Earth's entire human population dies out in less than 100 years.

I wish I had eyes in the back of my head.

 

[Slamdingo]

Granted. But now the shadows following you know you see them.

I wish light sabers were real.

 

[Rathenmedus]

Granted. You cut off your own leg in an attempt to use one.

I wish I could use the Force in it's entirety without the harsh bodily effects that come with it.

 

[Slamdingo]

Granted. Your psyche breaks under the strain and you fall into insanity.

I wish it wasn't so cold outside at my work right now.