Ruler of the Hill

[Beanie]

Your death metal is no match for the power of funk!!!
I get Victor Wooten to lay down a funky fresh line that causes Toki and you to commit suicide out of pure jealousy.

my hill.

 

[Viggy]

I call Terji Skibenæs. I tell him I'm a big fan, and politely ask if he can take some time out of his busy day kicking asses and taking names to help me get my hill back. He shows up and melts the faces of both Beanie and Victor Wooten with a deadly folk metal guitar solo.

Then I get his autograph and we rule the hill together.

 

[Lobster]

I summon King Arthur, he wows Mr. Skibenæs with his amazing knowledge of Swallows and Swallow migratory patterns.

Meanwhile I find a witch to turn Terji Skibenæs into a harmless Newt.

I turn viggy into a vassal state, loaning the lower part of the hill to him and his family, and his family's serfs, and their sheep, and their cattle, and their rolling fields of grain, grapes, lettuce, and breakfast cereals.

 

[Beanie]

My avatar eats everytthing, (except me.) including the hill. My grassy plain.

 

[Jiang Winters]

I walk up to Beanie and hug him. Then I blow myself up and take him with me straight to hell.

I get a ten-second delay penalty for suiciding, then I respawn atop a new hill, made up of skulls. I strap a block of white play-dough to my chest, stick some random wires in it, then run around screaming, 'I r gnna bl0w u up! lololol!!' like one of those random n00bs you see on Youtube.

 

[Viggy]

I put a sniper bullet in Hakim's head from two hundred feet away, then fly in on my jetpack and claim the hill. I snipe anyone who approaches my hill.

 

[Jiang Winters]

I respawn at the base of the hill, then hack the game and spawn in an autistic crippled baby, complete with downes syndrome. I charge up the hill, miraculously dodging all of Viggy's bullets, then proceed to clobber him silly with my autistic crippled infant. After knocking out the Vigster and reducing the downes baby to a bloody pulp, I disguise myself as Viggy by stealing his skin and run as king of the hill.

 

[Ares]

My invincible Twi'lek lover/bodyguard walks up to the hill and kills all of you with her dual blaster pistols. She quickly resurrects me, and I claim the hill as mine, and it is ruled by a King(me) and his bitch.

You guys were killed by this:

=3

 

[Jiang Winters]

...

...

...

...

You know, that's really not a bad way to go.

But, as I must capture the hill, I sic an army of T-600's and H/K VTOL's after you after being resurrected as a cyborg. The result: You and your lover are perforated by a hail of minigun and pulse cannon fire.
Thus, I become King of the Hill, ruling from my ultra-awesome underground Skynet bunker, complete with armies of T-800's guarding me.

 

[Ares]

We flee from the onslaught of weaponfire, and you kill two decoy androids that look identical to us... When you enter the Bunker, the Twi'lek is waiting... in your bedroom

She seduces you(even though you're a big, furry, cyborg feline), and some X-Rated stuff follows. Eventually, she decides to finish her mission.

She strangles you with a thong, and tosses your corpse into an ray-shielded closet. I break in with a portable Ion Cannon, and destroy all of your droids. I have an X-Rated celebration with her over your dead body.

Burn.

 

[Beanie]

I send in a gay guy who is a fshion designer and can't be seduced and bores you both to death talking about.

"OMG I loooove those shoes, you know, I get all mine at Payless... Blah Blah Blah.."
My hill.

 

[Viggy]

(Might not want to stereotype gay guys, we have several here)

I march in with an army of Mutant Nazi Lawn Gnomes, we blitzkrieg the hill and I become der Fuhrer.

 

[Ares]

I send in my Eviscerating, Vampiric, Incan Lepis(scientific name for rabbit) infantry- EVIL for short, and they obliterate your forces. I then SEND IN THE FEMBOTS!!!!

They kill you, and I take up position of Chief of Chiefs, and I rule the Hill with an aluminum fist...

 

[Beanie]

I get Rosie O'donnel to sit on the hill and squish you all. Then I kill her and take the hill.
I also defend the hill with the Master Cheif. Boo-Yah!

 

[Viggy]

I activate the Halo rings and destroy everything. But the Hill is still intact, for it is invincible, and I claim it as my own.

 

[Ares]

I grab my forces, temporarily retreat to my private dimension, hop back into your dimension onto the hill, and unleash my Sangheili Honor Guardsmen on you. One stabs you with his Energy Stave, and as you die, I let loose the Twi'lek Dancing girls, and a general orgy follows on your dead body.

I rule the hill.

 

[Beanie]

Damn, how come I never get the Twi'lek orgy?
In a hope to get some, I join the guardians of Ares' hill.

 

[Viggy]

After respawning, I join Ares' Twi'lek forces as well. o.o

 

[Adam]

I grab my forces, temporarily retreat to my private dimension, hop back into your dimension onto the hill, and unleash my Sangheili Honor Guardsmen on you. One stabs you with his Energy Stave, and as you die, I let loose the Twi'lek Dancing girls, and a general orgy follows on your dead body

I followed you into the demension where the HILL was located at. Along side me were my proudly 6 packed ab spartan guys following close behind me while I screamed at the top of my lungs "THIS IS ADAM'S HILL!!!" Then gave you a bloody enormous kick to the chest making you fall into the pit of death where hell awaitsd you........

 

[Ares]

I followed you into the demension where the HILL was located at. Along side me were my proudly 6 packed ab spartan guys following close behind me while I screamed at the top of my lungs "THIS IS ADAM'S HILL!!!" Then gave you a bloody enormous kick to the chest making you fall into the pit of death where hell awaitsd you........

Um... I'm not in that dimension. I said that I hopped back into the normal one where the hill was... Sot you're post is Null and Void. =)

I kill you anyway, award Beanie and Viggy ten Twi'leks each for their faithfulness, and continue the orgy on my Hill.