Corrupt A Wish

[Mirdala'runi Beviin]

Granted, but the radiation is exponentially higher and you get leukemia with a single text (organ failure with a call over four seconds, roaming rates apply).

I wish the everlasting gobbstopper was real

 

[Chairdor]

Granted. It is real, but it's waaaay out of your price range

I wish that I could juggle

 

[Aaron Corinth]

Granted, but you must always juggle chain saws and you aren't very good.

I wish I had an alternative source of energy that would power my car and house until the end of time.

 

[Canora Sabresong]

Granted. Every day, your house absorbs a single carbon atom from your body and splits it. The radiation kills you.


(Granted, but the radiation is exponentially higher and you get leukemia with a single text (organ failure with a call over four seconds, roaming rates apply). Actually, in the game trauma team, That accellerated Naiomi's sickness so it would anyway.)


I wish that minecraft apples tasted better.

 

[Darth Tak]

Granted! Steve likes them so much he gets fat, then when he's eating, well... *boom*.

I wish Skyrim was real.

 

[Canora Sabresong]

Granted. the giant boss kills every noob and the real world runs out of new player funding.


I wish that creepers were tameable via training and an operation that removes their exploding capeabillity.

 

[Darth Tak]

Granted! But as you will know if you saw the Creeper Anatomy, that would kill them, and the would evolve out of it immediately. They kill you. You no longer can have a Creeper Pet because they are now Creeper 2.0 in short.

I wish I could hatch the Enderdragon Egg and train it and fly it.

 

[Canora Sabresong]

Granted. Touching it deletes you as a mob and replaces you with an inventory item. Your hex code is invalid, so you simply are substetuted with a zombie pigman egg. Close enough, right?



I wish that creepers could be bred with ocelots, resulting in some sort of awsome, fire-bretheing, semi-sentient tameable being that didnt explode.

 

[Darth Tak]

(Players aren't mobs)

Granted! But it's so scared of itself it takes every occasion to kill itself.

I wish Lightsabers where a item.

 

[Endling vas Precious]

Granted, albeit anything you touch will turn into an ignited lightsaber. The risk of disembowelment is inevitable.

I wish Quarians were real.

 

[Saul Perth]

Granted, but they live in a galaxy far, far away.

I wish there was an IQ requirement to breed.

 

[Tribunal Power]

Granted, but they live in a galaxy far, far away.

I wish there was an IQ requirement to breed.

Granted. The human race is now extinct.

I wish my fingernails would stop growing so fast.

 

[Canora Sabresong]

Granted. Your fingernails, toenails and hair will never grow again.


I wish that pixel-wheat grew a little bit faster.

 

[Snake Eater]

GRANTED, but it grows too fast and now it covers the entire world.

I wish we could time skip.

 

[Sophia McLaren-Cobb]

Granted! But you get really old and die after several time skips

I wish that cheerleading was actually a sport

 

[Chairdor]

Granted, now it gets regulated like one so you have to hire on site medic, costs skyrocket and many public schools ditch their squads in order to budget correctly.

I wish I had a herd of cars that were sentient and docile that I could selectively breed to make the perfect car.

 

[Canora Sabresong]

Granted. Turns out they were actually giant daleks.


I wish that I had a pet dune bantha, and that that was normal.

 

[Sophia McLaren-Cobb]

Granted! However your bantha gets killed by poachers and you can't do nothing about it

I wish that I could be in the Army

 

[Canora Sabresong]

Granted. You get killed by some guy in the middle east after putting up with the government for wherever you are for a month.

 

[Chairdor]

Since you didn't wish I shall wish for you, I'm just not going to tell you what you wished for!

Granted but now your butt is made of bubblegum

I wish I was a sloth